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TammyKitten
04-03-2003, 11:46 PM
Because I am a guy this question is directed mostly towards the males. How many of you out there, outside of any Cosplay conventions or Cosplay reasons crossdress on your own. I crossdressed for years before I crossplayed in public. I used crossplay/cosplay as an excuse to finally quench my need to come out even if for a weekend. I love to dress as a woman. I enjoy the wonderful fabrics and the sensations of a smooth body. Is there anyone else out there like this? Is there a natural evolution for those who seek more out of there crossdressing? Do you become bored, and you feel a need to push the envelope and go further than just the costumes and outfits. Is your closet more than 50% female attire? I have like 10 pairs of high heels and one pair of nikes. I worry that I might be drifting past the point of no return but the journey has been so damn fun I don't want it to end.

Setsuna22
04-04-2003, 12:04 AM
hehehe! I think it's fun to dress as a woman, but I only do drag. I would never be a tranvestite or a transexual. That's not really my thing. I just like the challenge, and seeing how many people will actually think that I am a girl^^ It's kinda fun!!! I've only done it once, though, and the only thing I do in private is practice makeup!!! It's hard stuff!!!! besides, I don't do this stuff very often anyways. It's kinda like a side hobby.

Also, just for kicks, I would like to quote Wesley Snipes from To Wong Foo

"When a man puts on a dress, and gets his sexual kicks, he is a transvestite. When a man is really a woman trapped inside a man's body, and has a little operation, he is a transexual. When a gay man has just way too much fashion sense for one gender, he is a drag queen"

I love that movie ^_^

RichAyanami
04-04-2003, 03:56 AM
I'm also with Setsuna on that one. I really like to see that "whoa!?" expression on people's faces. Although I do have to say that there's probably something else there, even if going transexual isn't the thing for me. ...or maybe it is. In any case, I'd like to include a quote of my own... XD

"...because if you're transvestite, you're actually a male tomboy. That's where the sexuality is. It's not drag queen, no, gay have got that covered. And this is male tomboy. And people do get them mixed up and they put transvestite..nonono, a lil bit of a crowbar separation.....thank you. And I think gay men would agree. And..male lesbian, I think that's really where it is. Because most transvestites fancy girls. Yes. So running, jumping, climbing trees, and putting on makeup. That's where it is.
~Eddie Izzard

^^

Setsuna22
04-04-2003, 03:37 PM
^________________________^ EEEEEEEEE! I love Eddie Izzard

Michi
04-04-2003, 03:42 PM
Yay for To Wong Foo quotage. XD And Eddie Izzard is also keen. :D But um, I'm a girl, so I don't think I can add much to this thread. @_@; Sorry for the spam. XD

Lander
04-16-2003, 05:53 PM
i will say this only when i can do the naked girl on the white satan bed with roses around her and no one can tell im a guy and have had no surgerys and not know its me is when ill be happy

khamryn
04-16-2003, 06:00 PM
@.@ ::Pipes up.:: I'm a girl. I'm always cross-dressing (and no not just the whole "I wear pants" thing. I mean I crossdress fully. ^_^; )::late:: XD

Merle-kun
04-17-2003, 04:04 AM
It's fun to be a girl for a while. I also like to see the shock factor on people's faces, or the little crowds that gather near you that try to figure it out, if you're stationary for too long. My co-worker has started wondering how many guy's phone number's I'll get ^^;

But I'm also as bad as you are TammyKitten, my shoes are all cheap. My last pair of boots, which are good, were on sale at a K-mart I worked at that was going out of business.. I got them for 6$, but, I recently spent 50$ on a pair of boots for a costume ^^; My other shoes are a pair of 5$ Wal-mart sandals ^^;; And I have a big tote box full of girl's shoes and boots. They're starting to spill over into a second box now ^^; I haven't bought new clothes for myself in a long while.. all my cash is for my PC and costumes.

I'd like to try going out as a girl once.. I think it would at very least be an eye opening experience. My friend Holly wanted me to go to Wal-mart as a girl =3 I almost went... but her mom got home, and I didn't want her to think weird of me ^^; But, I get so nervous at the thought of it.. because, when I've went out in costume before, to say restaurants, the reaction to me has always been bad. I worry about being beaten up.. so, I tend not to leave a convention if at all possible. And when I do, I have friends order for me so I don't have to speak, and pray no one can tell ^^;;

Menchi
04-17-2003, 10:08 PM
lol walmart...in a dress, an leaving a con. ^^;; that was interesting...considering was too lazy to change into normal clothes an didnt care anymore. i can empathise on the gettin beat up thing...i was rather worried when i went ot the gameworks jus outside ohayocon. i was expectin their to be the no brain in their head homophobes waitin outside the mall there for me...glad i wasnt alone when i left. i cant say leaving a con in a dress or goin out on the town is my thing but i can say i have spent more money on women's clothing than clothing i can wear every day in the past 2 months ^-^;;;;;;

TammyKitten
05-06-2003, 12:04 AM
Just what is the difference between crossplay and crossdressing anyways?
I crossdressed long before I crossplayed. I love dressing as a woman. I feel so sexy and alive.

Does anyone ever visit www.urnotalone.com

Here is a guy out of like a zillion there I find so hot!

http://www.dazzled.com/natalya/

Karisu-sama
05-06-2003, 01:04 AM
TammyKitten: you have been answered in the other thread you started. ^^

Nine
05-06-2003, 01:08 AM
The only times I've crossdressed outside of cosplay is at Pride Parades and Halloween.

Merle-kun
05-06-2003, 01:36 AM
They are different, though they can overlap. I found this definition on the internet, and abdridged it.

Crossdresser: (CD) This is a person who enjoys dressing in clothes appropriate to the opposite sex (defined by the prevailing social norms), driven by inner impulse.

I would describe Crossplayers as those who enjoy dressing as their favorite characters, who happen to be of the opposite gender for conventions.

The difference in the two might be hazy to the layman, but for me they are similar, but not quite the same. A crossdresser will do so in public because that's the lifestyle they have chosen to live. A crossplayer will only do so at conventions or other special occassions. These could be halloween, a party, for photos, etc. But they won't walk around in their costumes to go shopping or clubbing.

The two can overlap, and a crossdresser can be a crossplayer, and a crossplayer may awaken some hidden part of themselves and become a crossdresser because of crossplay.

Can you tell I was studying to be a psychologist? =3

Karisu-sama
05-06-2003, 02:24 AM
As I said on the other thread:
Crossplaying = cosplay where the biological gender of the character is different from one's own.
Crossdressing = wearing clothes that are considered appropriate to / designed for "the other (biological) gender".


I personally crossplay / crossdress for cons & other costume events and for photoshoots (and yes, I do try to see if I can pass), but I don't do it outside of costuming purposes. Neither my "inner girl" nor "inner boy" care if there's normally an "outer girl" look day-to-day. I'm just me, and I think my attitude and likes and dislikes would be pretty much the same whatever the surface packaging. ^^

EVERYONE's mileage may vary on this topic. ^^

yasafusa
05-06-2003, 09:18 PM
Originally posted by Merle-kun
. A crossdresser will do so in public because that's the lifestyle they have chosen to live. A crossplayer will only do so at conventions or other special occassions. These could be halloween, a party, for photos, etc. But they won't walk around in their costumes to go shopping or clubbing.
Can you tell I was studying to be a psychologist? =3

Clubbing... hmmm GOOD IDEA... I think it would be cool to go clubbing as Inu Yasha; all the girls would wanna touch my ears!
(Slightly off subject) :)

Never say never...

Nismo
05-09-2003, 03:57 AM
I have to admit the thought of me going as a female anime character WAS there just to see if I could do it but then again you could tell I'm a guy the second you see me so that kinda defeats the purpose. :p >_<

Karisu-sama
05-09-2003, 04:31 AM
Well, as a bona fide girl (and 2 kids I gave birth to, to prove it!), I don't know if I really can "pass" as a guy (except in an artfully taken photo - see gallery), but it's mostly about the fun of cosplaying characters I like. So I'm not going to let it bug me. ^^

FF_Fan_Guy
05-12-2003, 08:40 PM
I don't think there is anything weird about crossdressing. I think the only thing it says about your character is that your adventerous and brave. I've kinda always wondered what it would be like to dress in nice soft fabrics that are smooth and whatnot. I think it's kinda a neat idea. It doesn't make you any less of a person. If anything it makes you more. *goes out to find something silky to put on*

Mizuno Tenshi
05-30-2003, 09:27 PM
Well... my personality is more femme-type, I guess you'd say... By the idea of me being more emphatic, showing more concern for others, not worrying about pride, etc, etc... and I was a very vain girl at con. :D I kept checking my makeup and redoing my lipstick.
I've been a crossdresser for a while, but crossplay is a great chance for me to do it and show my love for a series at the same time. Honestly... I just did my first cosplay as a girl... and it felt... comfortable and right somehow. I need to figure out what that means to me. *shrugs* I've always been an odd guy... now I need to figure out if I'm supposed to be an odd girl, instead.

P-chan

Karisu-sama
06-12-2003, 01:33 AM
It depends where you live and who you have to deal with on a daily basis, Nyarlehotep. If I were in certain San Francisco districts and had another type of job, things might be diff. - but I'm a PTA mom and high tech worker who has to do business meetings with other high tech companies, and my credibility (and job) would certainly be in jeopardy if I wore this stuff all the time. As it is, I certainly make my own "style", not wear what everyone else is wearing (and I DON'T do business suits! I don't even own one!)

Kira_Yamato
06-12-2003, 06:17 AM
My question was answered in another thread, so I edited.


Anyway, in response to the original post, i think it'd be kind of fun to cosplay as a female character, but i'd be too embarassed, and too afraid that people would think I was gay.

But there are a lot of things girls can get away with that are socially unacceptable for a straight guy. I, for example, hate swim trunks and would love to wear things as small as what girls wear, but all i'd get is stares, and people would form bad opinions of me. Besides, women are allowed to attract men by showing off their breasts, why can't guys do the same thing towards women with their "assets"?

Karisu-sama
06-12-2003, 06:33 AM
What, guys can't wear "racing bikini" type swimsuits anymore? O.o I think they still do in Europe. I for one liked seeing those.... (and yes, they do show off the "assets" :p )

Yes, there ARE more things a girl can get socially away with wearing. It isn't fair.

Kira_Yamato
06-12-2003, 06:48 AM
Only if they're an olylimpic swimmer or something. I wore one once, and got ridiculed for it.

Mizuno Tenshi
06-12-2003, 10:05 AM
One-piece suits seem so much nicer anyways, though... I wish I could wear those. Then no worries about trunks getting ripped off by the tide! :D

P-chan

RHIshida
06-12-2003, 11:06 AM
Okay, as the friend of at least 5 people that are TS and witness of the workings of the world, I would like to make some points.

The reason girls can get away with wearing things that are more revealing is because guys typically have power, and those guys enjoy seeing women showing their assets, and since they hate seeing other guys try to show their assets, (Usually because their assets are better XD) they harass them and treat them badly to get them to not do it. Not to mention that generally, guys are more attracted to the female body than women are to the male body, so some women don't think it socially okay for men to walk around in speedos, while most guys won't mind if a woman was only wearing a ribbon around. So the same reason alot of women wear revealing clothes (usually to impress guys that have power) isn't applied to men trying to impress women, although this can change, as all things can. I'm speaking generally, as in there are chances things can be different. There are always situations where things are reversed.

Another thing is that I find that most people who generally don't like people who crossplay will annoy, mock, insult, and physically hurt them until they stop crossplaying. It's a natural human thing and applies to everything. If a person wanted you to stop playing Video Games, they insult you and hurt you emotionally and physically until you stop. I know this from experience. Those people are generally not very good friends, family, or are just too brainwashed by the general populous, which brings me to my next point.

Most human beings have been brainwashed to believe that anything that isn't considered 'normal' by the general public is evil and bad and needs to be done away with. I disagree and think people who believe that need to take the corks from their ears, but as the saying goes, don't be too open minded, your brains'll fall out.

I hope I made at least one good point, and hope it helps somebody understand my thoughts. Btw, I was Akane this year at AZ, and no flames please, I melt at temperatures that are above 212 degrees. :P

sakuro
06-12-2003, 11:48 AM
Hello I am called hector am of santiago of chile for 3 years take part in cosplays representing feminine prominent figures I am a man and I am charmed with representing them have represented to card captor sakura, miyazawa yukino, kanzakis hitomi, kisaragi haruna, yui kasuga, ai shirazaki, etc and do not think that for using a skirt or dressing of school girl is(am) a reflex of possesses a conduct Transvestite, Transsexual in my case my sexual trend it(he,she) has not changed for anything I go 3 years with my girlfriend(fiancée) since she(it) I to know in a cosplay and she(it) is charmed with me my skirt and from this day we take part together in all the events cosplay well I leave a photo of her(it) with I crumble where I go out of card captor sakura, and she(it) of kanzakis hitomi
Good he(she) says goodbye from santiago of chile
Sakuro
http://galeon.com/maico2010/123123.jpg

avagoyle
06-12-2003, 02:50 PM
Originally posted by Jazon Bladen
Not to mention that generally, guys are more attracted to the female body than women are to the male body, so some women don't think it socially okay for men to walk around in speedos, while most guys won't mind if a woman was only wearing a ribbon around.

I disagree that this is because guys are more attracted to female bodies than women are to male bodies! :P I think there is an equal amount of attraction either way.

Another reason why men in our society don't wear revealing or sexual clothing is that in our society women are supposed to be sexual objects. A man nude or nearly nude would also be in a sexual/vunerable position, something that is attributed to women. It is the homophobicness of our society which makes men cover up and prefers females to go free.

RHIshida
06-12-2003, 04:30 PM
You've got a really good point. I'd definately agree. Heh, when it comes to this kind of topic, I guess I'm pretty biased against guys, oddly enough. I guess it's because when it comes down to it, alot of guys are jerks.

Mizuno Tenshi
06-12-2003, 05:25 PM
Originally posted by Jazon Bladen
You've got a really good point. I'd definately agree. Heh, when it comes to this kind of topic, I guess I'm pretty biased against guys, oddly enough. I guess it's because when it comes down to it, alot of guys are jerks.
No argument... I'm actually proud of my most of my femme qualities, and don't really care all that much to identify myself with other guys. But to be fair, there are a lot of girls that are a pain too... but on the whole, I prefer how girls act to how guys act.

P-chan

Karisu-sama
06-12-2003, 07:14 PM
Well, that's a change for the worse. :( When I was a teenager, I often saw guys at the beach wearing Speedos. I think the sezzy guy-butt view suffers a LOT from the current ugly oversized baggy pants / baggy swim trunks fashions.

yep, I'm old enough to remember guys in nice tight jeans. *drool*

as the friend of at least 5 people that are TS
You and me both, Jazon. :)

Mizuno Tenshi
06-12-2003, 09:40 PM
I loathe the oversized trunks... umm... I really don't like wearing anything that... lets me hang too loose I guess. I dun' like boxers for that reason. All guy swim trunk are like that, or are speedos, which I'm really not all that partial to. I don't like showing off a bulge in front, and would rather be able to hide it without problems. Wearing a one-piece would be great, but trying to go enfemme while swimming sounds near impossible. I mean, makeup and hair...

P-chan

RHIshida
06-14-2003, 02:19 PM
my problem with baggy clothes is when they keep trying to fall off X.x that's why I tie any baggy clothing I have tight around my waist so they don't slide off while I'm DDRing or something. Tight clothes actually feel kinda comfortable to me. It's like walking around naked, but legally! XD As for the en femme swimming thing, that does sound kind of difficult. I'm sure there's some way to pull it off. and I'm sure it would involve alot of tape and pain though.

FF_Fan_Guy
06-15-2003, 11:21 AM
You know, speedos aren't really all that bad. I've been swimming for quite a while and after a little while you just get used to them. You don't think that it embarrasing after a while cause everyone is usually wearing one. The people that make fun of you because ppl wear them are the ppl that are to embarrased and uncomfortable to wear them themselves. Go Speedos.

Mizuno Tenshi
06-15-2003, 11:26 AM
Wearing speedos for a swim team is different. Beachwear, though... well, I don't have chiseled pecs or anything, so I can't look buff enough to do the trick, and I don't wanna, either! :P

P-chan

Kira_Yamato
06-15-2003, 05:13 PM
Originally posted by Mizuno Tenshi
I loathe the oversized trunks... umm... I really don't like wearing anything that... lets me hang too loose I guess. I dun' like boxers for that reason. All guy swim trunk are like that, or are speedos, which I'm really not all that partial to. I don't like showing off a bulge in front, and would rather be able to hide it without problems. Wearing a one-piece would be great, but trying to go enfemme while swimming sounds near impossible. I mean, makeup and hair...

P-chan


I didn't notice this.....ya know, if you don't like a bulge, there are men's suits designed to have a similar effect to women wrapping breasts?

Kira_Yamato
06-15-2003, 05:14 PM
Originally posted by Mizuno Tenshi
Wearing speedos for a swim team is different. Beachwear, though... well, I don't have chiseled pecs or anything, so I can't look buff enough to do the trick, and I don't wanna, either! :P

P-chan

Lol, that is a problem for me, i'm the antithesis of buff....

Mizuno Tenshi
06-15-2003, 05:20 PM
Eh? Men's suits to minimize bulge? Never seen them before... and also... guys are expected to have a bulge. Ick! I don't have any concern over my 'size', but... I guess I just don't wanna look like a guy? It's so confusifying....
I have more of a tall thin supermodel look, with some female athlete when it comes to my shoulders. Far from the masculine ideal. :D

P-chan

Goth Kitty 22
06-15-2003, 07:34 PM
Well, as recently as the 80s, tight clothing was a fashion trend. Unfortunately, I was too young to remember anything. Anyone here live through that? Seems like it must have been cool.

RHIshida
06-16-2003, 12:55 PM
Heh, I'm not exactly the bastion of masculinity myself, in fact until I said something at the con, people had no idea I was a guy. There were two guys who asked me out at the convention, having no idea. XD It was priceless and when I got back home, I couldn't stop laughing. Hmm, I need to learn how to speak like a girl if I'm gonna cosplay one effectively :D

Kaede
06-16-2003, 08:19 PM
Growing up with David Bowie and Eddie Izzard and just seeing and experiencing things for myself, there's just always been something uncomfortable about being a girl and carrying around the feminine aura and persona. Though makeup can do wonders, I'm always so angry that we have to dressup to be comfortable and be "the way we actually are." It's odd...

Karisu-sama
06-17-2003, 03:39 AM
Originally posted by Goth Kitty 22
Well, as recently as the 80s, tight clothing was a fashion trend. Unfortunately, I was too young to remember anything. Anyone here live through that? Seems like it must have been cool.

Me, me! *waves hand in air* I remember it! Fondly! Now it's gone... :(

RHIshida
06-17-2003, 12:44 PM
Here's something I don't understand. If a girl decides she'd rather play outside, climb trees and wear jeans instead of playing inside, with barbies, with a pink frilly dress on, they just immediately call that girl a 'tomboy.' If a guy decides he'd rather wear women's clothes than men's clothes, they write him off as a 'crossdresser' or a 'faggot.' Obviously, that's a simple sign that this society is based and biased upon gender roles, which in my opinion is stupid and worthless. Just because that girl likes to do things that are percieved as 'male' or 'masculine' doesn't mean she still isn't a girl. Girls shouldn't -have- to wear dresses to say that they're girls, likewise, people tend to take people who enjoy crossdressing and people who are transsexual and refer to them as 'faggots' or 'crossdressers' or 'transsexual' and will never call them by what they really are, a person. If a guy decides he'd rather stay inside and play with barbies wearing a pink frilly dress, than go outside and climb trees and wear jeans, they think that there is something horribly wrong with that and they immediately send that child to a psychiatrist, not to see why the child does it, but to try and get the child to change his behavior. This society is really sickening. It's sickening how they can force a person to live a certain path, not being able to live outside the box, and if said person does try to live outside of the path 'chosen for them,' they are no longer called a 'person,' but are called something meant as an insult. I really wish the world was different, but because of all the stupid people in the world, there's not much to be done. I believe we need to get rid of these 'gender roles' and work towards a better future where people aren't so close-minded to the rest of the entire world.

Goth Kitty 22
06-18-2003, 03:37 PM
I found this interesting article.

http://www.geocities.com/WestHollywood/Village/8517/articles/article08.html

RHIshida
06-18-2003, 05:31 PM
That is disheartening. To hear a school that expresses, "...diversity in opinion, culture, ideas, behavioral characteristics, attributes or challenges."would pull a double standard like that is truly disturbing. I feel sorry for the girl :( It's not fair to her that she was forced to leave just because of the biases and unfair beliefs that people have created. I hope that school goes broke and comes crashing down And I whole-heartedly agree with what she said about mothers who protect their kids by hiding them from the real world. Eventually, kids have to go out into the real world, and they discover that it isn't the Candy Land they were expecting, and that in the Real World, you have to meet life head on, and always expect adversity, and change. It's the same way at my school. I go to a school that has Elementary, Middle and High School, and they're in seperate buildings, but the elementary parents always complain about the High Schoolers. I think that America in all should learn that sheltering kids from the outside world ruins them as an adult. It's amazing how schools today try to express diversity in the student body, and how they cater to people who are of minority, and yet they try to get rid of people who crossdress, and people who are trying to express their inner gender, because they don't "agree with it." *sigh* The world is a horrible place :(

Kira_Yamato
06-19-2003, 06:01 AM
It's bad now, and with the current administration in the US, it's just gonna get worse and worse. I mean, then the "president" thinks he's recieving orders from GOD, he, and his administration, probably won't be very tolerant of anything "non-christian" (I put that in quotes, due to the lack of anything in the bible prohibiting many of these things.)

The Lord XL
06-28-2003, 06:46 PM
Ok now i never cross play, But I do Pick Girl Caracters in Fighting games (even i front of my friends) ^_^. I dont know why. I guess i like the girl, and I like to make her my puppet. (Sorry if I offended any girls with that last statement :( ) My point is: I dont think Crossplaying is any more diffrent than Playing as a girl character.

ryuichi fangirl
07-04-2003, 01:49 PM
Originally posted by RichAyanami
I'm also with Setsuna on that one. I really like to see that "whoa!?" expression on people's faces. Although I do have to say that there's probably something else there, even if going transexual isn't the thing for me. ...or maybe it is. In any case, I'd like to include a quote of my own... XD

"...because if you're transvestite, you're actually a male tomboy. That's where the sexuality is. It's not drag queen, no, gay have got that covered. And this is male tomboy. And people do get them mixed up and they put transvestite..nonono, a lil bit of a crowbar separation.....thank you. And I think gay men would agree. And..male lesbian, I think that's really where it is. Because most transvestites fancy girls. Yes. So running, jumping, climbing trees, and putting on makeup. That's where it is.
~Eddie Izzard

^^

...I love you SO much for quoting that!

buwahaha....the Action Transvestite..with the running jump climbing trees...putting on makeup..lmao

but..since I'm not a guy I cannot really comment Eddi drew me in..damnnit...:P....but really..I have met a few transvestites ..and they all seem to think it's great..they like being able to feel 'pretty'..and they prefer womens clothing to mens since there's so much more to it ... personally ..I thinks it's cool if you can get the courage to do it in public like they do..I know one of them gets really nervous before he goes out sometimes..but he still does it ^^ and I think its great that he can.....keep in mind tho..I am female an have NO idea what they're really thinking this is just based off the tuff they've said to me ^^;; tho I do crossplay anime/j rock..I enjoy it since I like the male charcters better anyways...most female anime characters annoy me for some reason...>_>

"...I wanna keep bees.....I wanna keep 'em!...So they don't get away! I want them on elastic so when they get pollen they come back here! My father was a beekeeper before me..his father was a beekeeper before him. I wanna walk in their footsteps..and their footsteps ... were like this!*running*BAAAHHHHHH!!!! I'm covered in BEEEEeeessss!!!" ~Eddi Izzard ( I can't help it..I must shamelessly quote Eddi now >_>..help me....)

AndroidOrion
07-10-2003, 01:58 PM
For some reasdon, I seem to know a lot of people who crossdress, for varying reasons... I don't know why I keep finding them, maybe I just inspire them to tell me about it? Anyway :D Three of them have totally different reasons. One is a transvestite, and *definately* falls into the "doing it for sexual kicks" thing, and has been sneaking around putting girls' clothes on since he was in high school. He also really likes feeling girly. Another one really didn't get any sexual pleasure from it, he just always felt he was more feminine than masculine and sometimes thought he might want to be a girl. (Do you know how hard it is to make a 6'2" guy look like a girl? O_o;; But we did it, somehow) The third hasn't done it yet, because he's scared to go buy clothes, but he mostly wants to do it because he feels women's fashion is just more appealing than men's. (he cited Monica's shorts, from Dark Cloud 2, as being just so cute ^_^). He definately wants to look like a girl, though, not just have women's fashion turned into men's. And as a side note... none of them are gay, or bi, so sexual orientation really has nothing to do with it, in my experience.

As for me... I've only done it once, for a skit, but I've helped out a bunch of my friends with it, mostly for the challenge of it. It's difficult for me to do it, unless I'm wearing a really baggy top, because no matter how many ace bandages or sports tape I use, I can't seem to bind my chest down well enough... I've been declared a DD by the Victoria's Secret salesgirls, so I guess that has something to do with it O_o;; (BTW I'd love advice from any other large-chested girls who have succeeded in binding down there chests). I've got an unfinished Zelgadis costume I'm working on, which I'm doing more for the challenge of wire hair and blue face makeup and such, but if I thought I could get away with it I would love to crossdress in and out of conventions. I love playing with gender and gender roles, and often pray for someone to find a real-life Juusenkyo :D So I guess my reason for doing it is because there are times I'd really rather be a guy, but I would never go transexual, because there are times I really enjoy being a girl. :)

-Cassie

RHIshida
07-11-2003, 08:48 AM
If Jusenkyou were real, that would rock. I'd definately go looking for it, but I'd probably get lost or attacked by amazons or something >_<

Sepiraph
07-30-2003, 08:44 PM
Originally posted by TammyKitten
Because I am a guy this question is directed mostly towards the males. How many of you out there, outside of any Cosplay conventions or Cosplay reasons crossdress on your own. I crossdressed for years before I crossplayed in public. I used crossplay/cosplay as an excuse to finally quench my need to come out even if for a weekend. I love to dress as a woman. I enjoy the wonderful fabrics and the sensations of a smooth body. Is there anyone else out there like this? Is there a natural evolution for those who seek more out of there crossdressing? Do you become bored, and you feel a need to push the envelope and go further than just the costumes and outfits. Is your closet more than 50% female attire? I have like 10 pairs of high heels and one pair of nikes. I worry that I might be drifting past the point of no return but the journey has been so damn fun I don't want it to end.

Well u are definitely not the only one, I personally would like to cross-dress someday. Although I dont particularly have a strong urge to cross-dress, I have to say that it's definitely on the back of my mind.

I think it's pathetic that society expect straight male to dress in certain way, as girls seem to have more freedom in choosing their clothes.

As for my reason for wanting to cross-dress, it's mainly for fun. I always thought that my looks are somewhat feminine and I always thought that I'd look pretty good as a woman. :) But since I normally wear glasses, people can't tell. One issue though for a guy to cross-dress is to deal with the reaction from male friends, as I'd say that most of my male friends probably wouldn't like that idea too much to see me in woman's clothes, lol.

Mizuno Tenshi
07-31-2003, 12:24 AM
Hey, if you do a good enough job, they might not even recognize you! Of course, that could lead to problems if they hit on you... ;)

P-chan

TammyKitten
08-17-2003, 10:29 PM
It's nice to see so many who are so passionate and understanding out there. I wonder how many might still be in hiding or in "the closet" if you know what I mean. Not to make it sound like a gay thing because it's not what I mean. I crossdressed before I ever crossplayed. It's just an outlet for me like Halloween to do something I feel passionate about in public without being condemed for it.

CROSSPLAYERS UNITE!!!

RHIshida
08-18-2003, 02:01 PM
Some people crossplay because they like to crossdress and are scared to come out about it, and some people like to crossplay because they'd prefer being the opposite gender, but don't want to openly say anything about it due to many reasons (friends, family etc.) others just do it for fun and because they like that character. I don't know where I stand, but I'll tell you that it's a mix of two of them :P

Decibella
08-22-2003, 03:02 PM
Hey, i'm new to this site and i just had to jump in on this thread! It is most refreshing to hear from other grrly boys who are not afraid to get all dolled take that walk on the wild side! There are a lot more of us out there than you think, but most are understandibly shy about revealing that aspect of their personalities. But with the wonderful encouragement and support i have witnessed from you lovely ladies in this group, maybe more will find the courage to give it a whirl in a non halloween or convention setting. i can't begin to tell you about the "miss advertures" i have had... i find most people's reactions to be very positive. Though i must admit i love the shock factor. hee hee. Have any of you been out to any fetish parties? that is an excellent environment to parade around in your finery.

Decibella
08-22-2003, 03:39 PM
I have been crossdressing in clubs for many years, definately the most fun in straight bars. In Gothic Industrial bars the boys wear make up and corsets all the time. Or better yet Get yourself out to a fetish night! My closet is overflowing with dresses and boots now, too, out numbering my boy clothes at an ever increasing ratio. i actually own more dresses than than my girlfriend! (much to her pleasure) That is why we had to open a store of our own...Shopping for two genders can get really expensive. ;D
PS - cross dressing says nothing about your sexual orientation, but speaks volumes about your bravery.

Sometimes a dress is just a dress... unless it's a poofy llittle loilta dolly dress....SQUEEEEE!!

AniMajor
08-26-2003, 07:46 PM
I don't know why guys want to crossdress or anything like that. It's not as easy for a girl to pick out clothes. I have the hardest time. I don't want to look trashy, or wear something too hot, too cold, something weird. Sure, we have all the cool-feeling fabrics, like the fuzzy stuff, but you can't wear it all the time, mostly because the fuzzy stuff is for winter, or something like that.

As for dresses, I own a whiter skirt from graduation, and my two prom dresses. They're only "freeing" if you like the feeling of walking around without pants.

vash_humanoid
08-28-2003, 01:31 AM
YESS!!!!!!!!!!! OMG TAMMY!!!!!!! THANK U!!!!!

see i want 2 be using crosplay as an excuse fer soo long!! but my mom cought me dressing up as a girl so she will get 2 suspicous.. i have always been interested in wearing girls clothing... it is my dream to like walk down a side walk dressed up and not be noticed!!! omg i need 2 meet u sometime.....lol ^_^ PM me!!!!

Meta
09-19-2003, 07:00 PM
Here is a guy out of like a zillion there I find so hot!

http://www.dazzled.com/natalya/


thats a guy? Wow hes not that bad lookin...

TammyKitten
11-06-2003, 10:24 PM
It's not like anyone missed me but I was surprised to come back and see so many responses to this sensitive subject. Way to go crosplayers!!! May all your dreams come true!!! And I do mean all of them.

Now? Where did my hormone pills go????

Viante
11-08-2003, 05:57 PM
Hi, this is my first post, and I'm glad the board is very open minded. I myself have recently come out as a transsexual to family and friends at the age of twenty. It's not something that is good, and I'd rather it not be this way, but it is! Oh well, things will be adventerous. I also just found this site, and I love cosplayers. I really want to do Orta.

Belmont
12-06-2003, 01:23 AM
Because I am a guy this question is directed mostly towards the males. How many of you out there, outside of any Cosplay conventions or Cosplay reasons crossdress on your own. I crossdressed for years before I crossplayed in public.

I, too, was a closet crossdresser for years before I used crossplay as an excuse to try it in public. Crossdressing is more than a sexual fetish for me, it's like an addiction that gnaws on my soul. If I don't do it often enough, I get the shakes, I can't concentrate, and my heart pounds like I'm being chased. When I do it, I am sexually excited in a way that nothing else will do.

But I'm straight, so I find it very hard to accept my own insatiable need to crossdress. I fear that if anybody knew, they wouldn't respect me anymore. I don't think I make a good looking woman, and am certain that I would never "pass" in public. After I've crossdressed, I feel stupid, ugly, and depressed.

I used crossplay/cosplay as an excuse to finally quench my need to come out even if for a weekend.

I've only crossplayed once, and it was an incredible rush. Even though my costume was particularly lame, there were still plenty of people who took me for female. I think I got a small taste of what it's like to be a girl. I really appreciated all the attention that I was getting, men opening doors for me, and all that. Even getting hit on by creepy older guys was amusing, although I could see that quickly getting old.

But afterwards, my friends and and aquaintances never really looked at me the same. One of them asked if she could introduce her cousin to me so she could meet a "real live transvestite". People I knew would occasionally bust out a lecture about how they didn't appreciate "TVs". And my costume was very innocuous! It ended up being near social suicide.

So I never crossplayed again.

I love to dress as a woman. I enjoy the wonderful fabrics and the sensations of a smooth body. Is there anyone else out there like this?

I love it so much, sometimes, but it makes me feel so guilty. In an ideal world, I'd probably dress as a woman half of the time. But in the real world, I'm so worried about what my friends and co-workers would think that I can't take it as far as I'd like. For living in the real world, I wish I could just stop and forget all about it.

Is your closet more than 50% female attire?

I'm too ashamed of it to even order women's clothing online, so almost everything I have I had to sew myself. I probably have about 10 outfits, in varying states of disrepair. I have yet to acquire any female shoes.

I worry that I might be drifting past the point of no return but the journey has been so damn fun I don't want it to end.

I love doing it, but I hate myself for doing it. I wonder if I'll ever again be able to date a woman again. I worry that someday everyone will find out and laugh at me. I feel so alone.

Even though I've long since given up on public crossplay/cosplay, I've been reading these boards because they give me hope. Everyone seems so accepting and supportive of crossplayers. But I wonder how many would actually have a serious relationship with an actual transvestite, even a straight, in the closet one.

Belmont
(Bishounen, bishoujo - I want to be both! But I don't want anybody to know!)

BIOJECT
12-06-2003, 07:54 AM
I don't think it's wrong or right. So many people today judge someone on looks alone and how they dress/look. It drives me nuts but it's natural in todays world to be completely judged on how you dress. I have nothing against males dressing in womens clothing. Me personally... I find skirts to be way more comfortable then any pants. If I could wear a skirt in public without people calling me crap, life would be good.

Unfortunately society in the US is still in the dark ages and it will be some time before men and women where whatever they want without being judged on it. My friends for example dress specifically to anger the general drone population who believe we should act and do accordingly. They wear black nail polish, wear their sisters clothing, and do just about whatever their imaginations can concieve. Their ways have caused them to lose jobs and has even made certain people hate them and believe that they are stoners. It's sad really.

The only thing I have against crossdressing is the biast comments that come with it. Like you're gay because only gays wear dresses. As this statement is completely untrue, most drone people still won't understand. (My Step Dad is a drone to society. His mind is VERY limited. It's like he has a firewall in his brain that only allows him to understand what other people tell him.)

There are somethings I still don't like about crossdressing. I still think makeup on guys is kind of discusting. Maybe it's the way I was grown up or maybe I just don't find it attractive on males or females. It stinks for one and second it is gross. Not to point any fingers but there are some male crossplayers here who I think would have looked better in just a dress. It's disturbing seeing them in make-up. It reminds me of a drag queen. lol

For next years Anime Expo 2004 I'm planning on dressing up as my favorite character Deedlit. Some users of cosplay.com have mentioned that I should do this and that to look more girly. I figure.. what the heck! I don't need all the makeup any ways. Plus I have no clue how to put it on correctly and seeing that I will never have a girlfriend because about 99% of the girls out there are evil and only want to break your heart, I'm going to be single for a long long time.

To get back to topic here I just wanted to say good for you. I will be frank in saying that I have a problem with you and all the others who crossdress willingly and use anime expo to wear girls clothing. Yeah I'm a hipicrite but that's just me.

THE Naru
12-27-2003, 04:00 AM
Some people crossplay because they like to crossdress and are scared to come out about it, and some people like to crossplay because they'd prefer being the opposite gender, but don't want to openly say anything about it due to many reasons (friends, family etc.) others just do it for fun and because they like that character. I don't know where I stand, but I'll tell you that it's a mix of two of them :P

I so stand on the same ground there.

Another one of the posts said something like:

"why do guys want to crossdress so much...It's not that easy to pick out clothes...you can't always wear the pink frilly stuff" (thats not an exact quote)

I have to answer that - I love the fabrics and all the diffrent clothes you girls have but not just cause they're pink and frilly or smooth etc etc etc - frankly I'd feel at home if it was just a tight white blouse with some design on front and a pair of tight fighting denim jeans from Limited Too.
I just enjoy looking, feeling, being treated (even with its shortcomings - and yes I relize there ARE shortcomings), and acting like a girl. Mostly the being treated and acting part because when it comes down to it - even when I am dressed like a boy I tend to act and even look more like a girl then a boy I have picked up a lot of the mannerisms from my sisters and my friends (who are mostly girls - and I have to repress those mannerisms for obvious reasons)

-I tend to have the same type of "popular" morals and values of girls (granted there are many girls that have completely diffrent ideas and what not but I mean the average and yes even I have several morals and values which lean in diffrent directions)
-I CAN NOT stop myself from having a natural femmine walk because my body shape has grown so that I have natural hips and butt and thus have learned as I've grown up to walk like most girls do - even my waist and my cheek bones have grown to look more femmine and my hair grows really fast so I've given up on having short hair thus long though in no way is my body that of a transvestite (says our doctor).

When it comes to mental things like how I talk and my vocabulary I've also (because of the forementioned sisters and friends) grown up so that I talk very much like a girl in my vocabulary with both normal words and just stuff like I say "sweety, honey, sweetheart, darling, hunk, o how cute, pretty, etc" without thinkin about it and so I have to try hard to keep myself from sounding to much like a girl. As for my voice I have gone through puberty but just because of how I talk, once again due to the people I was brought up around I talk softly and in a higher pitch then a males voice (I began to do it because I thought it was weird that I always, even b4 puberty sounded diffrent) which is yet another thing I have to keep myself from doing.

Now after all that I have to say I am straight and those are all the reasons why I like to dress like a girl - I may have been brought up around people like that who have rubbed off on me but the point I was trying to make is that I LIKE doing that and feeling like that and I hate having to repress all those things - I LIKE "girl talk" between me and my friends and I LIKE having someone open a door for me when I'm dressed as a girl or say "wow you look really nice today" or from a girl "I love those shoes (blouse, necklace, skirt etc etc) and all that - NOT just because of the clothes. :wave:

DigitalShin
12-27-2003, 04:47 PM
It's a state of mind..

Silver Minx
12-28-2003, 03:38 AM
To Belmont:

But I'm straight, so I find it very hard to accept my own insatiable need to crossdress. I fear that if anybody knew, they wouldn't respect me anymore. I don't think I make a good looking woman, and am certain that I would never "pass" in public. After I've crossdressed, I feel stupid, ugly, and depressed.

I love doing it, but I hate myself for doing it. I wonder if I'll ever again be able to date a woman again. I worry that someday everyone will find out and laugh at me. I feel so alone.

As an asian living in a family with fixed Asian traditions and morals, it's strictly taboo to be bisexual or transvestite. So naturally, when my best friend and I decided that we were in love, we both had to keep it a secret. So naturally, when we were caught in bed, both our parents didn't take it lightly and threatened to disown us.

It's a horrible thing, to feel trapped and not-of-worth because of your sexual preferences or cravings. Peers, parents, relatives all seem to poke fun and exert disgust to those who have "irregular" preferences. Homosexuals, transvestites, bisexuals, heterosexuals, metrosexuals, all are apparently being accepted into society more, but the fact that we are actually being "Accepted" is degrading in itself, implying that we were once rejected and thought of as disgusting, merely because we didn't prefer the opposite gender, had no adventurous and daring needs and just did what was "normal" and "right".

To want to cross-dress or to love someone of your own gender is normal. But apparently, society set morals and we still fear being discovered and being degraded. But this “queerness”, they are merely natural impulses that are displayed in various ways. These impulses and desires and the ability to love is what makes mankind different from a monkey. To deny these impulses is to deny yourself what it is that makes you human.

You shouldn’t ever hate yourself for being different. It’s not you that ought to hate yourself, but it’s society or those around you that make you feel as though you ought to hate yourself. But from the sound of it, it sounds as though a lot of this is up inside your head. “I fear that if anybody knew, they would disrespect me.” I think what you need to do is figure out who “anybody” is. Exactly who it is that would disrespect you if that were the case? And then talk to them.

But I think it’s not right for you to hate yourself to being yourself.
If you love the beauty of feminism as much as you make it to be, then you have no reason to be ashamed of it. I know it sounds retarded and clichee, but dude, go talk to who ever is closest to you first. But don’t just be like, “Yo, dude, I like dressing up in my sister’s clothes!” Ease it in slowly. But let me tell you, you said that if anyone found out, you’d think they disrespect you, but hey, do you see me spitting in your face and calling u disgusting? Listen, I think the best thing to do about it is to be open about it. If you’re friends are true, they’ll have no reason to see you as a different person.

You sound like a honest guy, so don’t try to lie to yourself and don’t try to give it up if that’s what makes you happy. Don’t think that loving feminism means you have to lose confidence in yourself and who you are.

Belmont
12-31-2003, 02:45 AM
Thank you so much for your supportive reply!


It's a horrible thing, to feel trapped and not-of-worth because of your sexual preferences or cravings.

Crossdressing was my terrible secret since age 12. I tried to stop, but I could not control the urges. I couldn't understand why I had to crossdress: Was I insane? Weak? Evil? What was wrong with me? It caused me so much self hatred and lothing. Even though it was subliminal, I felt lower than low. Sub-human. Worthless. I couldn't look at people directly for fear that they could see through me. I wanted to die so many times.

A couple of months ago, something snapped and I had to find some answers. I read every website I could find on crossdressing and transsexuality. I took online tests like the COGIATI. I devoured everything I could find on the subject. And I posted that confession you saw above.

I discovered the truth: crossdressing doesn't mean that you are insane, weak, evil, or alone. It's estimated that 1 in 30 men are crossdressers. Most crossdressers are straight. It's not genetic or a mental illness. It can't be cured. Little is known about it, but current theory suggests that it's caused by stress or trauma in the mother during the three days of pregnancy when gender identity is formed in the brain. It's not my fault. It's not anybody's fault.

Slowly, I realized that crossdressing, while unusual, is not WRONG. I realized that I am not a bad person. I realized that I was FIT TO LIVE!

I'm a crossdresser, and that's OK!

This knowledge was like a great weight being lifted! Suddenly, after 22 years of self-loathing, I was allowed to like myself! I was not alone! I was a human being! I became euphoric... happy for the first time ever in my life! Suddenly, I was able to look at people again! My formerly empty world was filled with people! It was like waking up in a completely different world!

I have made so much progress since I posted that earlier message, but I still have a long way to go to undo the damage of those 22 years. But I am happy for the first time in my life, and am ready to try dating again for the first time in 12 years.


Peers, parents, relatives all seem to poke fun and exert disgust to those who have "irregular" preferences. Homosexuals, transvestites, bisexuals, heterosexuals, metrosexuals, all are apparently being accepted into society more, but the fact that we are actually being "Accepted" is degrading in itself, implying that we were once rejected and thought of as disgusting, merely because we didn't prefer the opposite gender, had no adventurous and daring needs and just did what was "normal" and "right".


When I was hiding, I often harbored the same fear and disgust of gay and transgendered folk that "normal" people feel, but it was because I was afraid of those attributes in myself. I wonder if that's the reason why "normal" people feel that way? Now I am ashamed that I ever felt that way.

My confession here on cosplay.com was instrumental in my acceptance of my crossdressing. Once I could accept that in myself, I was able to accept similar qualities in others. I've come to realize that gay, bi, trans, etc. are meaningless labels. The question: "If two straight guys dress as women and have relations with each other, does that make them gay? bi? lesbians?" points out the absurdity of the whole thing.


To want to cross-dress or to love someone of your own gender is normal. But apparently, society set morals and we still fear being discovered and being degraded. But this “queerness”, they are merely natural impulses that are displayed in various ways. These impulses and desires and the ability to love is what makes mankind different from a monkey. To deny these impulses is to deny yourself what it is that makes you human.


Amen. For so long, I tried to deny that part of myself that needed to crossdress, and I felt that I was a sub-human and was unable to love or even live in the world of humans. After accepting myself, I can enjoy the company of other human beings. I've actually found myself more attracted to girls than I ever was before, as well as being more open to other options...


You shouldn’t ever hate yourself for being different. It’s not you that ought to hate yourself, but it’s society or those around you that make you feel as though you ought to hate yourself. But from the sound of it, it sounds as though a lot of this is up inside your head. “I fear that if anybody knew, they would disrespect me.” I think what you need to do is figure out who “anybody” is. Exactly who it is that would disrespect you if that were the case? And then talk to them.

But I think it’s not right for you to hate yourself to being yourself.
If you love the beauty of feminism as much as you make it to be, then you have no reason to be ashamed of it. I know it sounds retarded and clichee, but dude, go talk to who ever is closest to you first. But don’t just be like, “Yo, dude, I like dressing up in my sister’s clothes!” Ease it in slowly. But let me tell you, you said that if anyone found out, you’d think they disrespect you, but hey, do you see me spitting in your face and calling u disgusting? Listen, I think the best thing to do about it is to be open about it. If you’re friends are true, they’ll have no reason to see you as a different person.


Since my post, and extensive letters with Tammy (thank you SO much!) I have become much more secure in myself. I have since "come out" to some of my very best friends, and to my surprise they turned out to be very understanding and supportive. I'm still working up to coming out to my parents, but I'm sure that is something I will do someday. I'm not going to go around advertising it, or wear dresses to work or anything like that, but I'm not going to worry about somebody accidentally finding out either. It's not a secret anymore, but I don't need to stress out the less-enlightened with it either.

So much of it was "all in my head", as you said. I needed to be able to respect myself before I could believe that others would respect me. That made all the difference!


You sound like a honest guy, so don’t try to lie to yourself and don’t try to give it up if that’s what makes you happy. Don’t think that loving feminism means you have to lose confidence in yourself and who you are.

So much has changed for me since I have embraced my crossdressing and accepted myself. Now I need to build my life again. I need to integrate crossdressing into my social life in a meaningful way, and meet other crossdressers.

Perhaps it is time for me to return to the stage of crossplay...

.Belmont.
(I am what I am, and that's OK!)

dani
12-31-2003, 03:43 AM
As long as you don't harm others, everything else is fair play. You deserve a place to express your individuality, even when sometimes you need to make room for it and it takes everyone else by surprise.

What is "normal" and what is not has nothing to do with good/bad or right/wrong. It's simply a statistics game played by society. Whatever happens to be "common" becomes "normal". Does that mean the uncommon (abnormal) is wrong? fat chance!

Some people like sports, some like pink lemonade, some like crossdressing. Our likes and dislikes are not something we can manufacture. They are inside us and we can only discover them, a "shortcut to happiness" programmed in our minds.

And a shortcut to misery is to shut out our likes based on the parameters of society. All the power that society can have over us is the power WE relinquish. Who's going to dictate how I'm going to dress? my neighbour? why should I give him THAT power? And based on what I wear the guy decides to guess who do I want to sleep with? He's been guessing the winning lotto numbers every week for years and keeps driving the same old clunker, that's how worthy his guesses are...

In short: live, let live, and be merry (or Mary, if that's your fancy)

Dani

Nagisawa Kaworu
12-31-2003, 06:29 AM
I think I'd have to say congratulations to Belmont and dani and all other people who have to live with this crap. :bigtu:

Silver Minx
12-31-2003, 06:47 AM
Belmont: ^-^ You're more than welcome. =) And thank you for taking the time to reply.

It's really interesting and also uplifting to read about other people and their emancipation, really it is.

It's good to hear that there are others who go through the same thing as you. And hey, thumbs up and congratulations. I'm not too sure what I'm congratulating you for, but as you said, you've come that far from the time of that post to where you are now.

You're a real inspiration to people everywhere. It doesn't matter who we love or how we dress. =) We are us!!! LOL ^^;;

Dani:
You said it! Let your neighbour keep guessing his lotto numbers. We'll stick with our crossdressing and bisexuality. ^^

Belmont
01-01-2004, 01:09 AM
An inspiration? Me? Awww, shucks!

I never set out to be an example for others, I just wanted to find peace within myself.

If I were looking for inspirations here, there are two people I would mention especially:

Tammy Kitten, who started this thread and has become so much more than a friend to me through e-mail over the last month or so, for giving us hope and dragging us out of our shell.

Dani, who seems to have built a complete life that includes a wife, kids, and crossdressing! Now THAT is an inspiration! Dani, you have taught us all so much, but I think you've got so much more you can teach us still!

I think that the most important thing that anyone can do is to accept themselves. All else follows from that.

Where do we go from here?

I thought I was alone for for so long. I want to meet other people who are like myself. I want to explore my crossdressing in a safe social setting.

I've looked into some of the GBLT support groups, but I have yet to find one that I was comfortable with. Crossdressers concerns seem small compared to those of the other segments of those groups. I think anime conventions might be a good place for such outreach to occur, even if it is not a formal part of the convention programming.

Are there any conventions with specific panels for crossplay gender issues? If not, maybe there should be one. If just one person can be spared the 22 years of self-loathing that I endured, I'd be ecstatic!

Nobody should think that they are alone.
Nobody should be afraid.
Nobody should feel ashamed.

.Belmont.
("Yellow Belmont is a freedom fighter who disguises himself as a female idol singer...")

dani
01-01-2004, 03:13 AM
Dani, who seems to have built a complete life that includes a wife, kids, and crossdressing! Now THAT is an inspiration!
It's true. My life has those ingredients, but it's not all wine and roses. There is a lot of balancing, compromising and effort involved. I don't crossdress in front of my family so finding a time and place is usually a challenge.

Dani, you have taught us all so much, but I think you've got so much more you can teach us still!
Ask away... I don't gain anything from keeping my experiences to myself. On the other hand I still have lots to learn.

Have fun....

Dani

Belmont
01-02-2004, 03:02 AM
Ask away... I don't gain anything from keeping my experiences to myself. On the other hand I still have lots to learn.


Although I'm sure you've got plenty of great secrets about technical aspects of crossdressing, what I'm most interested in right now is how the crossdressing integrates with your personal life. Please forgive me if these questions are a little personal, you don't have to answer them if you don't want to.

I'm guessing that your wife is aware of your crossdressing, and I was wondering at what point in your relationship did she become aware of it? I've been thinking that it's probably better to have it out front from the start than to reveal it part way through, but I was curious as to what worked for you.

You've said that the family doesn't see you crossdress, and I was wondering what their feelings about it are. Do they accept it? Tolerate it? Hate it? Does it cause stress in your relationship with them?

You don't seem to crossdress in your professional life, which seems like wise advice to anyone. Does anybody at your work know about it? Has it ever caused you problems in the workplace?

How much have you crossdressed in public? I remember you mentioned having your hair done and then having to reserve a hotel room in boy form with that hair. You've got a few outdoor pictures. Has crossdressing in public ever caused you any problems?

Do you know any other crossdressers besides on the internet? Have you ever been to social events with other crossdressers? If so, how did you meet them?

Have you ever been to any sort of support group or counseling related to crossdressing? If so, have you found them to be any help?

I'm sure those are plenty enough questions for now! I'm very interested in hearing what you have to say!

.Belmont.
(Someday, I'd like to breed.)

dani
01-02-2004, 03:31 AM
I'm guessing that your wife is aware of your crossdressing, and I was wondering at what point in your relationship did she become aware of it?
I told her, once the concept was clear in my mind, and I was confident I could explain it properly.
You've said that the family doesn't see you crossdress, and I was wondering what their feelings about it are. Do they accept it? Tolerate it? Hate it? Does it cause stress in your relationship with them?
It's kind of "don't ask, don't tell". They know is part of me, but prefer to be spared of the details.
You don't seem to crossdress in your professional life, which seems like wise advice to anyone. Does anybody at your work know about it? Has it ever caused you problems in the workplace?
I'm keeping it private. On a need to know basis. And I never had any problem at work about it.
How much have you crossdressed in public? I remember you mentioned having your hair done and then having to reserve a hotel room in boy form with that hair. You've got a few outdoor pictures. Has crossdressing in public ever caused you any problems?
I love going out. In the 10 years I've been active I've gone just about everywhere (shopping, sightseeing, restaurants, movies, parties, evening school, voting for municipal elections, suntanning at the lakeshore, comdex, toronto trek, the library, volunteering for community events, and that's just from the top of my head). Never had any problems, except some colorful comments from drunk guys while walking down the street.
Do you know any other crossdressers besides on the internet? Have you ever been to social events with other crossdressers? If so, how did you meet them?
Yes, in almost every major city there is a CD social club. I've been a member of the local one for years, and even was part of the board of directors for a couple of years.
Have you ever been to any sort of support group or counseling related to crossdressing? If so, have you found them to be any help?
Yes, I went once for a "gender assesment" which included some blood tests and interviews with 4 or 5 health professionals in different areas. If I look closely I could try to find something positive about it, but a lot less than what one would have hoped for.
I'm sure those are plenty enough questions for now! I'm very interested in hearing what you have to say!
Glad to be able to share my experiences..


Dani

asmodeus
01-02-2004, 04:22 PM
my parents would never ever allow me to crossplay/dress/anything. even cosplay. none of the male characters are very interesting, but then that could just be my problem... i wanted to go to anime expo last year cause it was pretty close to where i lived then. but my parents told me no, blah blah blah you cant go, its not a very "christian" thing to do, my parents assume that im christian, i dont know why. if i could i would go to a college further south, away from the family, and there i would fulfill my cosplay dreams and go to a con and enjoy myself without the ushering of my mom or dad. if i DID go that is. well, now im just stuck in the nightmare realm of my home, not enjoying myself, being restricted from my absolute favorite thing to do... sometimes i wake up in a cold sweat because i dreamed that my parents found my manga collection or something. well ill just live abnormally for a long time till im 19... :(

Belmont
01-10-2004, 10:33 PM
I wrote:
I'm guessing that your wife is aware of your crossdressing, and I was wondering at what point in your relationship did she become aware of it?
I told her, once the concept was clear in my mind, and I was confident I could explain it properly.

At the risk of getting too personal, was it before or after you were married? Before or after you had kids?

This is perhaps the most important question for me. Having finally come to grips with my own crossdressing after 22 years of self-loathing, and 12 years after I last attempted dating, I think it is time for me to start dating again.

In order to build a happy, stable relationship, it's going to have to include my crossdressing, since I have determined that it's not going to go away.

I feel that I should be upfront about it, but I'm worried that if I told someone straight away, they would run away and never get a chance to know me for my other qualities.

Of course, the dream is to find a woman who actually enjoys my crossdressing, but I'm not sure if such a person exists, or how I would meet them if they did exist, or how I would even know that I had met them if I did.

For that matter, I'm not really sure how to meet people at all. 22 years of insecurity about my crossdressing has made me painfully shy, especially around the opposite sex. I know that the male is supposed to make the first move, but I have a difficult time doing that.

To live and love... I now know that I am allowed to do that. But I don't know how...

.Belmont.

(If I were married, would my wife have a problem with the fact that I just spent over $200 on women's clothing that wasn't for her? Or would she have a problem with the fact that I like to wear it every day?)

Silver Minx
01-10-2004, 11:05 PM
my parents would never ever allow me to crossplay/dress/anything.

but my parents told me no, blah blah blah you cant go, its not a very "christian" thing to do, my parents assume that im christian, i dont know why. if i could i would go to a college further south, away from the family, and there i would fulfill my cosplay dreams and go to a con and enjoy myself without the ushering of my mom or dad.

My closest friend and girlfriend, (who I've been living with for about a year now), also experiances the same thing you do, over-protective and moralistic parents. I know there's the whole thing about "go confront them and have a long talk and be honest" thing, but frankly, it usually doesn't work if your parents are what you make them out to be.

If you ever do decide that you're too sick and tired of having to hide everything, go and buy a deep and meaningful manga which has views on Christianity and glorifies the ways of the Christian and show that to your parents. That will usually convince them that anime and manga is not against being Christian. If you do go ahead with this, PM me and I'll be able to look into some titles for you.

And if you ever do feel like talking to anybody about it and feel you can't, something like this, over the internet, is usually OK, because you get an outsider's view on the whole.

Remember, your life is your own, and no body else has the right to restrict you to what they want you to do and not do.

Silver Minx
01-10-2004, 11:18 PM
I feel that I should be upfront about it, but I'm worried that if I told someone straight away, they would run away and never get a chance to know me for my other qualities.

I know this wasn't really directed at me, but I'll chuck in my two cents. >.<
I think that being upfront is a risk that you've got to take. If they reject it and run, then they're not worth taking another step towards, unless you truly believe that there is something deffinitely there. Don't avoid the truth, that's cowardice. Don't hide the truth, that's omission. Be honest and open up if it's what you want. Life is all about taking risks and sacrifices to find what it is that you truly want out of everything.

Of course, the dream is to find a woman who actually enjoys my crossdressing, but I'm not sure if such a person exists, or how I would meet them if they did exist, or how I would even know that I had met them if I did.

Don't ever doubt the manifestation of man kind. There actually are alot of women/girls who like their lovers/boyfriends/husbands crossdressing, and they truly aren't ashamed of it. Quite the contrary, really. "Pretty boy" and "bishounen" are loved by lots of women and yaoi-fangirls. If you do meet somebody like this, and you honestly feel simple and clean and open, you'll know. It's a sort of contentness you feel... But don't worry, you will know.

If I were married, would my wife have a problem with the fact that I just spent over $200 on women's clothing that wasn't for her? Or would she have a problem with the fact that I like to wear it every day?)

Well, just as a note of humour, I'd say you ought to go shopping together... Find clothes that both of you like and share, share, share. LoL. But on a more serious note, I suppose it would all depend on the situation and what sort of person she is. If you were on a tight financial plan, then it might be a bit of a worry, but if it's an average good-to-go income, there shouldn't be much of a problem with an occasional splurgy shopping spree. Not only would you benefit, but so would she. Sharing clothes shouldn't be crossed off your list. And as you mentioned before, a woman like that? She's out there somewhere. ^^ Don't worry, if it's meant to happen, leave everything within the hands of fate.

~Silver Minx

dani
01-11-2004, 12:19 AM
At the risk of getting too personal, was it before or after you were married? Before or after you had kids?
It was about 3 years after we married, before we had kids.

In order to build a happy, stable relationship, it's going to have to include my crossdressing, since I have determined that it's not going to go away.
It's not going to go away, but you decide how big of a deal you make of it. If you present it as something shameful, and serious, and you are worried and secretive, your partner will think you devote all your time and effort to this. If you introduce it as a hobby... that's how it will look.
I feel that I should be upfront about it, but I'm worried that if I told someone straight away, they would run away and never get a chance to know me for my other qualities.
Let her know your other qualities first. So when you present this subject she can put it in context.
Of course, the dream is to find a woman who actually enjoys my crossdressing, but I'm not sure if such a person exists, or how I would meet them if they did exist, or how I would even know that I had met them if I did.
I'm sure they exist, but it's dangerous to look for partners with that "filter", because you'll ignore many good opportunities that way. If it's the most important thing in your life and you are 100% devoted to this is one thing, but if you want your partner to be casual about it, you must be casual about it too.
(If I were married, would my wife have a problem with the fact that I just spent over $200 on women's clothing that wasn't for her? Or would she have a problem with the fact that I like to wear it every day?)
Again, it's a matter of context. Was that money that was supposed to go to the mortgage? to food? or recreation? Are her needs met? (both monetary AND emotional)

In short: if this means the world to you, make sure to find someone who shares that. But if it doesn't mean the world, don't make it look that way.

Hope this helps...

Dani

Belmont
01-12-2004, 04:34 AM
It's not going to go away, but you decide how big of a deal you make of it. If you present it as something shameful, and serious, and you are worried and secretive, your partner will think you devote all your time and effort to this. If you introduce it as a hobby... that's how it will look.

You've got a good point there. Not being ashamed of it is very important. I would hesitate to classify it as a hobby though... if it were a hobby I could stop...


If it's the most important thing in your life and you are 100% devoted to this is one thing, but if you want your partner to be casual about it, you must be casual about it too.

I suppose I am kind of obsessing about it, aren't I. I guess, since I finally came to grips with it last December, I've been kind of binging on it! "Gender Euphoria" really set in when I finally got shoes... I'd post pictures, but they've nothing to do with anime.

I suppose maybe I should wait a little while and see if I don't calm down about it a bit before I try too hard on the dating thing.

Hope this helps...

Thanks a lot Dani. You've helped immensely!

.Belmont.
(To know ones own heart... perhaps that is hardest of all.)

Decibella
01-13-2004, 04:37 AM
Hey Grrrls! hello TammyKitten! *winks* Hello to Dani, a "fellow" Torontonian, no less. Small world.. Small town too. Just got back on the boards myself and was also pleasantly surprised to see how this thread has grown. Since i DJ fetish Parties in full drag and pretty much pretty up most of the time i had almost forgotten how difficult it was way back when. reading these posts kinda brings me back....but i am very lucky to have the love and support of a great gal who is into the gender bending thang as much as me, maybe even more so, (believe me there are tons of girls out there who appreciate this sort of thing) so get out there and strut your sexy stuff!
but "Don't Dream it...Be eee eee it!" life is way too short to worry about what others will think... F*ck em!

www.sadisticVanity.com
"Too much Style for just one gender"
Decibella Darkstar and the Astral Glamvamps

Belmont
01-17-2004, 08:41 AM
I know this wasn't really directed at me, but I'll chuck in my two cents. >.<
Ooo. Sorry I missed your reply earlier!

I think that being upfront is a risk that you've got to take. If they reject it and run, then they're not worth taking another step towards, unless you truly believe that there is something deffinitely there.


In general, I feel that I should be completely open and honest with anyone that I would consider spending the rest of my life with. But I do see Dani's very good point about not scaring them off too early, perhaps for different reasons.

Usually , I only meet people if I know people who introduce me. Not every date I have will turn out to be "the one", but an ex is a better introduction rather than none at all. So not scaring them off early does have it's advantages.

I actually signed up for a dating service as "Belmont" with the full intention of having my blurb say straight out "I'm a crossdresser". But they kinda needed a photo with an unobscured face so I wimped out. I might not ba ashamed of my crossdressing anymore, but I'm not advertising it either. I did mention in the "ideal mate" section: "Should look better than me in a dress..."

Don't ever doubt the manifestation of man kind. There actually are alot of women/girls who like their lovers/boyfriends/husbands crossdressing, and they truly aren't ashamed of it. Quite the contrary, really. "Pretty boy" and "bishounen" are loved by lots of women and yaoi-fangirls. If you do meet somebody like this, and you honestly feel simple and clean and open, you'll know. It's a sort of contentness you feel... But don't worry, you will know.

Despite having not crossplayed or cosplayed conventions in years, I do attend a fair number of them. When I'm in "boymode" I tend to be fairly bishounen... ok, at age 34, the "shounen" part doesn't really apply anymore. Still, with my long brown hair, clean shaved chin, and medium sized frame, you'd thiink I'd do better. In 15 years of con-going, I've never been glommed by Yaoi Fangirls... Maybe I'm not as pretty as I thought. Maybe I'm doing it wrong?...

Well, just as a note of humour, I'd say you ought to go shopping together... Find clothes that both of you like and share, share, share. LoL.
Anybody out there wear a size 11 EE (extra wide) women's shoe?


But on a more serious note, I suppose it would all depend on the situation and what sort of person she is. If you were on a tight financial plan, then it might be a bit of a worry, but if it's an average good-to-go income, there shouldn't be much of a problem with an occasional splurgy shopping spree.

Money has never really been a problem for me, but for a lot of married friends that I know, the wife controls the pursestrings and doesn't appreciate unapproved spending...


And as you mentioned before, a woman like that? She's out there somewhere. ^^ Don't worry, if it's meant to happen, leave everything within the hands of fate.
Evidently hiding in my room waiting isn't making it happen, so I guess going out and giving fate a push might help.

Decibella (hi!) makes me very jealous. Not only having a girlfriend who likes the crossdressing, but is also drop dead gorgeous too! This is the second goth crossdresser whom I've found with a crossdressing friendly girlfriend. Where do I sign up to be a goth?!

.Belmont.
(My dating site picture is a crossplay picture, but you can't tell because it's only the head...

Karisu-sama
01-18-2004, 04:24 AM
OK. I need to step in here and just say something.

Cosplay.com is a COSPLAY board, and the Crossplay Forum was actually created for discussing how-tos, body-shaping FAQ's, and other issues as they are actually relevant to that subset of cosplay known as crossplay, because they were getting lost in the General Costuming forums. This is not a forum for discussing fetish parties, and so forth; those are subjects for another forum, board, or for PM's. We would really like to keep this forum on the proper track. I know it's hard, since everything everywhere on any board seems to veer off-topic, but lets try, OK?

Belmont
01-18-2004, 01:42 PM
OK. I need to step in here and just say something.
Cosplay.com is a COSPLAY board, and the Crossplay Forum was actually created for discussing how-tos, body-shaping FAQ's, and other issues as they are actually relevant to that subset of cosplay known as crossplay, because they were getting lost in the General Costuming forums.

I think that discussion of gender issues is a very valid part of discussing crossplay. Some of us crossplay because we have a need for a safe, non-sexual way to express ourselves in the opposite gender. There are many who would fear to even visit a site related to gender issues on their own, for fear somebody would find out, but visiting cosplay.com is no big deal. The ability to post anonymously is very comforting! Think of it as a discussion of "Compulsive Crossplay"...

I've found that the crossplay forums, and this thread in particular, have helped me immensely in dealing with my own gender issues, and I'm very grateful to have had the opportunity to do so. I now want to help others to deal with their own issues. I would prefer that others were spared the 22 years of pain I went through.

This is not a forum for discussing fetish parties, and so forth; those are subjects for another forum, board, or for PM's. We would really like to keep this forum on the proper track. I know it's hard, since everything everywhere on any board seems to veer off-topic, but lets try, OK?

I don't think we'd been discussing fetish parties at all, had we? This topic has actually been very clean. I'm sure the words "sex" and "fetish" have come up from time to time, but we certainly have not been engaging in any "sexy talk" that I could tell.

As far as I can tell, the topic du jour is more like "Dating for the Compulsive Crossplayer: How do you meet? When do you tell?"

Would it be alright for us to continue the discussion, as long as we keep it clean? I don't think we've had any problems so far...

.Belmont.
(And we're in costume a lot more often than average cosplayers, too!)

Rosiel
01-20-2004, 11:20 AM
You do need to realise this is a board about cosplay, and what you have been discussing is not cosplay.

What is "cosplay?"
Cosplay is a Japanese phrase that combines the two words "Costume" and "Play" together. In terms of Cosplay.com it usually means wearing a costume based on a Japanese animation or video-game.

From the Cosplay.com FAQ, at http://www.cosplay.com/faq_more.php?id=126_0_24_0_C