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View Full Version : Parents can be hurtful sometimes....


CosplayCinema
12-30-2010, 11:45 PM
My mom...came in the room and laid on my bed watching me draw and was like

"what are you doing?"

And i'm all like

"I'm drawing"

And she was like

"you draw the same pictures over and over again they look exactly the same"

and i got offended and was like

"No they don't mom.....it's the same style but never the same person..."

and she continued to harass me about it till i told her that she wouldn't understand -.- then she told me

"Your being a little emo brat, get over yourself your acting like a 10 years old, i was trying to start a conversation.....so what are you doing?"

"I'm on the internet talking to people I get along with since you never let me go out and been an adult anyway"

which is true when ever i ask to go some where i always get

"Why? your just going to go smoke maryjoana and steal stuff." or "Your not old enough" or "your not mature enough"

and it sucks because i've never smoked in my life and the only time i've ever stolen is when i was 3 and didn't know any better. I'm turning 18 how am i not old enough to go to the mall or movies on my own or with friends? and not mature enough? I'm the first female to make it through high school, already have plans for college, and what to do after college, i clean my room, make my own food and i'm losing weight all on my own....and i'm not mature enough?!

Sheesh.....she is such a jerk sometimes....:walkoff: -crawls into a corner and pouts while drawing yaoi and sexy maids- D,:

Axelai
12-30-2010, 11:50 PM
You know what you need? A HUG *hugs*

My mom used to be the same way. Til i moved out. Now she treats me like gold cuz she misses me :'|

nannyogg
12-30-2010, 11:51 PM
Ouch. :( Sounds like she worries about you, but she doesn't know how to do it in a way that actually connects?

CosplayCinema
12-30-2010, 11:54 PM
When i move out for college i'll feel better because i wont have to worry so much about her judging me....thats the main reason she is so hurtful.....she nags me about cosplay, anime, the kind of people i talk to, the way i do my work, and how expressive i am about my art....-huggles everyone- I just want her approval most of the time...

Kildread
12-30-2010, 11:57 PM
My mom used to be the same way. Til i moved out. Now she treats me like gold cuz she misses me :'|

This.

It was strange that she was so controlling and overbearing when I was depending on her so many years ago, but since I moved to college (7 years ago? I forget) and have been living on my own, she does lots of things differently :/

Honestly, as long as you're living with them and they're paying for a roof over your head --- endure.

Not necessarily what you want to hear, but...

nannyogg
12-31-2010, 12:08 AM
My mom hasn't changed a whole lot since I moved out (25 years ago!!), but distance lets us each have our space. I know she's proud of me, but we are just such very different people that she freaks out any time I make a life decision that wouldn't be the one she'd make. My mantra that lets me accept the good parts of her and ignore (as best I can) the parts that drive me nuts is "She means well." And I think most moms really do; some just really can't wrap their brains around the fact that kids aren't little mini-mes.

SweetOcarina
12-31-2010, 06:42 AM
My mother ignored me for most of my teenage years, now she wants to be involved in everything in my life. It's just one of those things I think. Put up with it until you're old enough to move out. Often people who live together, particularly family, have strained bonds because of being on top of each other and get on better once they're apart.

uruha-fan-girl
12-31-2010, 06:48 AM
[QUOTE=CosplayCinema;3739769]My mom...came in the room and laid on my bed watching me draw and was like

"what are you doing?"

And i'm all like

"I'm drawing"

And she was like

"you draw the same pictures over and over again they look exactly the same"

and i got offended and was like

"No they don't mom.....it's the same style but never the same person..."QUOTE]

My mum said something like this to me before..more than once...But I have been changing my style of drawng...but then I go back to my old way of drawing...and then stop drawing then try again...Okay I don't know if that made sence...so I'll just stop^ ^;

LilMaibe
12-31-2010, 09:12 AM
Well, I don't know how you draw.

SecretSoliloquy
12-31-2010, 09:30 AM
Well, I don't know how you draw.

I was thinking the same thing.

Lithium Flower
12-31-2010, 01:31 PM
Wow your turning 18 and she behaves like that :/ maybe she's just scared that her little muffin is growing up and soon to be going out into the big bad world and doesn't know how to handle that?

Or maybe she just doesn't consider its really rude to be a jerkface

JanuaryAm
12-31-2010, 01:38 PM
i grew up in a very strict family and had some ridiculous rules like "you're not allowed to drive with teenagers" ... which pretty much meant i never went out with friends.

take heart, honey. the "mature" thing to do, no matter how hard it is, is to treat your mother with respect and love, even if she is 100% wrong about everything. i don't mean be patronizing and fake, and i certainly don't mean NOT standing up for who you are, what you love, and what is right. but the more gracious you are, the more proud of yourself you'll be. and, when you're no longer living under her guidance, the stronger and better you'll be for it.

things are hard right now, but remember that in reality, nothing stands in your way of being who you want to be. only time. and everything takes time. you'll achieve all your dreams in the end, with or without her. (in my case, entirely without my parents, as i am now estranged from them.) but no matter what happens, be a person you're proud of. take heart. there is so much love and potential in the world. every day is a gift.

SourCherryTwist
12-31-2010, 03:32 PM
my parents didnt understand with me either, but...then I got out, enlisted in the Marines and here I am...

Ludger03
12-31-2010, 04:03 PM
Sometimes you get to hear the same thing from your parents over and over. You get frustrated and end up rebelling against there authority. From the way I see it, your mother cares, the problem is she doesn't know how to express it. Or she may be afraid that she never had the time to actually get to know you, maybe thats why she says those things.

Either way, just be patient with her. My mom is like that but when she calms down, she's all happy and stuff. Parents are weird ^^""

sam vimes
12-31-2010, 04:43 PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jW3PFC86UNI

Yukikittie
01-02-2011, 01:40 AM
I understand what you're talking about...My friend has a very controlling mother. She doesn't let him do anything, and I really mean it. He can't even carpool with other kids or go over to someone's house. It's really sad.
With my parents...they really aren't in my life. Sure we live together, and sometimes do things...I feel uncomfortable when I'm just with them because we never do things together. It's going to be hell when my sister moves out, I'll be living with strangers.
They always fight when she's not home as well. Guess who gets to hear the arguments of divorce, how my Dad thinks he's always right, and of course how ungrateful and horrible of children my sister and I are? I do! Not to mention how they give me constant pressure about my grades, if I don't get straight A's I always get a snide remark and then a yelling from my Dad. Which just causes me to get stressed out and break down because I think how I'm such a loser in my parents eyes. /rant
I just...can't wait to move out. :bigtu: I'll deal with them now but when I get the chance I am fucking gone.

Cadmium Polyphony
01-03-2011, 05:24 AM
Parents really can be hurtful. My papa always used to complain that I cried too quickly after the beatings.

His comments seriously damaged my self-esteem.

lollydove
01-03-2011, 07:14 AM
My dad makes me do all the work around the house. e_e I don't mind doing the housework, but shaving his back and getting a glass of water that's right in front of him- no thanks. And he's very easily fired up, so he yells at me a lot, and it's usually at the wrong times when I'm in a happy mood. >.<;; It's kinda downgrading...
But other than that, my mum won't let me see my only friend who likes anime :c Well not much anyway. She's the only person I know who I can talk to for 3 hours straight (been there, done that) and my mum doesn't really want me hanging out with her because she's a "bad influence" (seriously, she's only two years older and she's only dyed her hair. I fail to see the bad thing about that...?)
Nevertheless, I'm going to an art gallery with her tomorrow which has a room full of internet memes (it's freaking awesome) and a gifrigginormous slide with loops. (we're going in cosplay, lolol) so it's all good. =w=

kuroki-neko
01-03-2011, 03:18 PM
yesthe day right after i got bac from mew con (and feeling like my hearts been ripped out) my mom gave me alot of chores to do and all i want to do is to be alone so i can try to feel better.

and she does this alot
id be coming in from doing a chore or somthing and like she would say

" can u get the mail? thanks ur a super star" without a second for me to say yes or no shes my boss at work and we used to unlock and get the workplace open together and close now i have to do everyhting by myself and the days were she would open up with me she would find a way for her to be busy in those times so she would say " oh im going to be 5 mins" and id have to open up by myself.

and constantly when we are working on a task that requires both our skill to do she will get a call from one of her sisters or whoever and leave me to do it by myself. and she taes her marry time while on the phone

also like at work when there is not much to do she will let me off early, most of the times its like this

"ok -my name- all u have to do is -task 1- -task 2- then u can be done for today" etc not many but yea id do the tasks and then id ask her of i can be done and she would say "oh i never said that, i must have not been paying attention i did not mean that" or somthing phony
"

Lithium Flower
01-03-2011, 03:23 PM
kuroki-neko- It kinda sounds like your mother is using the fact your her child just to get you to do ridiculous crap O_o

FrauleinNinja
01-03-2011, 07:41 PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jW3PFC86UNI

You just won this thread.

kuroki-neko
01-03-2011, 08:01 PM
yes im the sheska (from fma) of the family 0-0 aperently

Celia Rose
01-04-2011, 12:24 AM
yesthe day right after i got bac from mew con (and feeling like my hearts been ripped out) my mom gave me alot of chores to do and all i want to do is to be alone so i can try to feel better.

and she does this alot
id be coming in from doing a chore or somthing and like she would say

" can u get the mail? thanks ur a super star" without a second for me to say yes or no shes my boss at work and we used to unlock and get the workplace open together and close now i have to do everyhting by myself and the days were she would open up with me she would find a way for her to be busy in those times so she would say " oh im going to be 5 mins" and id have to open up by myself.

and constantly when we are working on a task that requires both our skill to do she will get a call from one of her sisters or whoever and leave me to do it by myself. and she taes her marry time while on the phone

also like at work when there is not much to do she will let me off early, most of the times its like this

"ok -my name- all u have to do is -task 1- -task 2- then u can be done for today" etc not many but yea id do the tasks and then id ask her of i can be done and she would say "oh i never said that, i must have not been paying attention i did not mean that" or somthing phony
"
It's called working for your parent. In the work environment, your mom is no longer your mom; she's your supervisor, and you respect her as such, not as "mommy." Don't expect happy-family-fun-time.

And that's the way the cookie crumbles.

kuroki-neko
01-04-2011, 12:48 AM
It's called working for your parent. In the work environment, your mom is no longer your mom; she's your supervisor, and you respect her as such, not as "mommy." Don't expect happy-family-fun-time.

And that's the way the cookie crumbles.

well she treats me like shit when i have a dfferent idea about somthing that needs a new idea. she will laugh at it and she will do the same when ever i feel pain or anything she just thinks she is above everyone and that everyone is not as smart as she is .

and i don't supesct " happy family fun time" i suspect her to act like she works there not some queen bee who does not lift a finger when its time for work

Cadmium Polyphony
01-04-2011, 01:43 AM
Woe is kuroki-neko.

Woe, indeed.

kuroki-neko
01-04-2011, 01:46 AM
yea...-.- im just going to leave it at that

ieixxx
01-04-2011, 07:51 AM
Wow your turning 18 and she behaves like that :/ maybe she's just scared that her little muffin is growing up and soon to be going out into the big bad world and doesn't know how to handle that?

Or maybe she just doesn't consider its really rude to be a jerkface

LOL!!!!!! ....think like konata.

Lithium Flower
01-04-2011, 12:23 PM
LOL!!!!!! ....think like konata.

Actually I've never seen Lucky Star...I really have no idea where I came up with that phrase but I've said it since I was like...8.

Occasionally I'll also pull out the "Silly willy acorn head" but thats from Edd, Ed, and Eddy*


*also one of the best cartoons to ever exist in forever.

playmysitardemy
01-12-2011, 10:53 PM
Late to the game but.....

@CosplayCinema: I know how you feel about getting sheltered. I was never allowed to express myself outside of my house. This was because my parents would critize other parents for letting their kids doing something. They didn't want to look like hypocrites (which they are) I ended up sneaking out a lot, which they still don't know about to this day. I didn't start the hair dying until 18 along with the piercings, tattoos, etc. I ended up stopping though because I wanted a job. I still aim to get tattoos though, just be easily hidden.

I'm 20 and my mother STILL says I'm a child and I don't have my act together. I call bullshit on that since: 1) I've gotten my associates 2)In the process of recieving my bachelor's 3)I'm in love with the greatest girl ever and plan on marrying her (long story on that one) 4)I have a job 5)I have a van I take care of myself and 6) I'm more or less happy about my life.

It's my mother though that is that little rain cloud. Recently she's going through a rough patch with my step-dad and now she's leeching on me for money, time, support, etc. when she always got mad when I asked for a couple bucks, asked for her help, she always called me worthless. The list goes on. She's also an abusive drunk who claims not to have a problem.

Sadly, I still have a bleeding heart and WANT to help her, but she won't listen to anyone and just wants people to feel sorry for her. I refuse to do that.

Long story short, all I can say is just try to brush off the hurtful comments or use it as fuel to make your life great and you can rub their noses in it. Depends on if you wanna be nice or mean. For me, I wanna shove it in her face and say "look, I DO amount to something, its you that doesn't."

Fabulousity
01-12-2011, 11:16 PM
Parents really can be hurtful. My papa always used to complain that I cried too quickly after the beatings.

His comments seriously damaged my self-esteem.

Woah, woah, woah, what?!?!?! :mfg: Please tell me that was a really distasteful joke and that you weren't serious!!!

playmysitardemy
01-13-2011, 01:40 PM
Woah, woah, woah, what?!?!?! :mfg: Please tell me that was a really distasteful joke and that you weren't serious!!!

Could be. My mom was that way. Hit me or something then tell me to shut the hell up because I was making too much noise.

Moonsong
01-13-2011, 08:03 PM
Wow your turning 18 and she behaves like that :/ maybe she's just scared that her little muffin is growing up and soon to be going out into the big bad world and doesn't know how to handle that?



I'm 21 and my mom behaves the same way (worse, really. She gets insulting, personal, and downright nasty.) My dad's girlfriend suggested that my mom is just worried that I'm growing up and all that, but I'm sorry, parents who do this should find a productive or at least a less hurtful way to express their concern.

I got sent off to NYAF/Comic Con in tears because my mother insulted me on the entire car ride to the train station, saying how I don't deserve to go, I'm probably going to get drunk and pregnant, and she's never giving me another dime. (At the time, I was out of work, so that automatically means I'm a horribly lazy person who will leech off of her forever, apparently.) I would have appreciated a "Hey, have a good time, but next time you have to pay for everything yourself." Fine! I understand that, and that's reasonable, but I feel like my mom couldn't care less whether or not I end up raped or with my teeth knocked out, quite frankly.

And believe me, if I could afford to move out, I would. I owe my school close to $1000, and yet I've given 75% of my paychecks to her since starting my job for bills and whatnot. However, she called me spoiled and selfish last night for wanting to buy a new cosplay. I only own one complete cosplay, and she thinks it's pefectly fine and sanitary to wear it for three days at a con. My reward for helping her to not lose this house is getting screamed at for everything under the sun. If I clean the kitchen, it's not good enough, because I didn't vaccuum the floor.

Maybe someday I'll strike it rich.

/rant.

Lithium Flower
01-13-2011, 08:38 PM
I'm 21 and my mom behaves the same way (worse, really. She gets insulting, personal, and downright nasty.) My dad's girlfriend suggested that my mom is just worried that I'm growing up and all that, but I'm sorry, parents who do this should find a productive or at least a less hurtful way to express their concern..

It's not an excuse, but perhaps at least a reasoning. It's complete shit either way O_< I've gotten a job and I haven't been scheduled to work AT ALL yet, but my mother argued with me that I need a job. When I kindly reminded her I have a job and that it was one SHE F-ING FORCED ME TO APPLY FOR (I am 21 for godsake I was bullied into it by my mother)and she's now is complaining isn't good enough. I didn't even WANT the goddamn job yet! I was going to apply for winter classes at the community college and I'd applied for Finical Aid.Now since the years over I have to fill it out all over again.... It would have paid for all my classes with some pocket money left over (they usually assume the student is living alone and thus you tend to get more money to cover everything) while I got a job I actually wanted. I even get a little bit extra from another program because my fathers a veteran. But she goddamn bullied me into apply for this job and now yells that I don't have a job at all somehow? She complained I was sitting at home all day as if I somehow CHOSE to not get any hours.

I've been trying to get driving again but she's said she doesn't want me to get my drivers license because her insurance would go up O_< I can drive but only with an adult in the car. So I've asked her to take me to a local Japanese corner store to get some munchies and lunch making goodness I can't get anywhere else. But despite talking about going out all night for two days she refuses to go at all until she's going to damn well feel like going. Even when she wakes me up to tell me "Get dressed we're going to _place she feels like going_"and I damn well get dressed and go with her.

I know that I shouldn't blow up at her, but tonight it felt really good to tell her off for a bit. Because I am getting sick of her bullying me around like I am still 15 years old. Of her outright lying saying she's asked my sister to look for a car for me (she's a mechanic as is her husband) and I find out she never did. That my sister her husband told me she talks like she wants me to stay dependent on her. So somehow I felt really nice to tell her to just sod off for ONCE in my life.

Kildread
01-13-2011, 09:06 PM
Relations with parents get better once you move out and no longer need to depend on them (Living outside the home while still being sustained by them changes nothing).

Either because you (and them) no longer need to bear with each other every day at home. And then can have good conversations (Like me with my father).

Or because you no longer need to interact with each other and keep contact as curt and concise as possible (Like me with my mother)

No, they're not divorced, I'm just more open with my dad :P

EDIT: Oh wait, I already posted something to this effect in here. Well --- at least I'm consistent!

SweetOcarina
01-14-2011, 07:50 AM
Relations with parents get better once you move out and no longer need to depend on them (Living outside the home while still being sustained by them changes nothing).

This.

I have a good relationship with my mom when she's about an hour's drive away. I find her much more comfortable to talk to. I share a lot with her. We call each other about three times a week and sit down for about an hour to chat each time. I wouldn't say I 'tell her everything' but I do get a chance to vent in a way that I can't with my friends.

When I lived with her I just got annoyed with her incessant nagging. Also, because I lived there, she didn't put time aside just for us to sit and chat. It would always be conversations while doing chores or eating, rather than us saying 'Oh you know what, for an hour we're just going to sit down and talk'.

It gets better when you move out. Trust me.