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~H~
02-03-2011, 02:49 AM
I was going to post this in the "bad joke" thread, but I think it's actually a good one! Please share more if you've got them!


Why do men lie? Let this story enlighten you...

One day, while a woodcutter was cutting a branch of a tree above a river, his axe fell into the river. When he cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, "Why are you crying?" The woodcutter replied that his axe has fallen into water, and he needed the axe to make his living. The Lord went down in the water and reappeared with a golden axe.

"Is this your axe?" the Lord asked.

The woodcutter replied, "No."

The Lord again went down and came up with a silver axe. "Is this your axe?" the Lord asked.

Again, the woodcutter replied, "No."

The Lord went down again and came up with an iron axe. "Is this your axe?" the Lord asked.

"Yes", he replied. The Lord was pleased with the man's honesty and gave him all three axes to keep, and the woodcutter went home happy.

Some time later the woodcutter was walking with his wife along the riverbank, and his wife fell into the river. When he cried out, the Lord again appeared and asked him, "Why are you crying?"

"Oh Lord, my wife has fallen into the water!"

The Lord went down into the water and came up with Adriana Lima.

"Is this your wife?" the Lord asked.

"Yes," cried the woodcutter.

The Lord was furious. "You lied! That is an untruth!"

The woodcutter fell to his knees and cried, "Oh, forgive me, Lord. It is a misunderstanding. You see, if I had said 'no' to Adriana Lima, You would have come up with Heidi Klum. Then if I also said 'no' to her, you would have come up with my wife. Had I then said 'yes,' you would have given me all three. Lord, I am a poor man, and am not able to take care of all three wives, and I love my wife such that I don't want her to share me with anyone, so THAT'S why I said yes to Adriana Lima."

The moral of this story is: Whenever a man lies, it is for a good and honourable reason, and for the benefit of others, mostly his wife.

Crusader_8
02-03-2011, 03:10 AM
I... only know bad jokes. Rather, I am not only proficient but have completely invested in Craft (bad jokes); and alas, good humor is a cross-class skill for me.

Story: my brother once tried to get a cell phone, but was denied one because his birth certificate and social security card weren't enough.
"You need a DMV ID or lisence," the salesman said. Without a car, he walks three miles to the DMV and waits for a good hour until they turn him down too. "I'm sorry, but you need a proof of address," the woman helping him explained, "typically we need something like a phone bill."

True story.

Cadmium Polyphony
02-03-2011, 03:11 AM
Since I joke pretty much everywhere on this forum, I think I should have some sort of 'be incredibly serious' pass for posting in this thread.

~H~
02-04-2011, 11:16 PM
True story.

*grins* That makes it even funnier! Poor guy @_@.

ShadowYazoo
02-05-2011, 12:22 AM
here is one:

A knight travels on his steed through a forest an a quest to slay a dragon. He rides up to the cave, gathering courage to face the creature. He stops near the entrance, and as loud as he can challenges the dragon: "Dragon! I have came to fight you! Come out and face your demise!

Soon he hears reply of the dragon: "I will, knight. But could you please stop yelling into my butt?"

:toothy:

~H~
02-06-2011, 02:42 AM
ShadowYazoo: It took me a second, but I laughed ^_-.


Here's another one:

A married couple are going out for the evening. The last thing they do is put their cat out.

The taxi arrives, and as the couple walk out of the house, the cat scoots back in.

The man returns inside to chase it out. The woman, not wanting it known that the house would be empty, explains to the taxi driver, 'My husband is just going upstairs to say goodbye to my mother.'

Several minutes later, the exhausted husband arrives and climbs back into the taxi saying, 'Sorry I took so long, the stupid idiot was hiding under the bed and I had to poke her with a coat hanger several times before I could get her to come out!'