View Full Version : Lose Muscle Mass, Gain Average Joe Mass

09-09-2010, 06:29 PM
Since we're all about gaining muscle and losing fat and becoming healthier just in retrospect I thought I'd be fun to read about how to lose everything =)

Want to lose five, ten, fifteen pounds of excess muscle weight? This guide will take you on a fast track to start looking like an average Joe. No more will women think you are a gym junkie, self centered jock, or even
a metro sexual. In just a short time you can transform yourself from a chiseled slab of stone to a smooth butter bean. People will be surprised, stunned to see you go from looking like Brad Pitt in "Troy" to looking like Rob Schneider in any of his films. Don't let their jealousy stray you from your goals.

First we need to work on bad habits. These are probably the hardest to break because you may not know a life outside a gym or health club. We need to cut out the daily jogs, the 3 hour gym sessions, and even the power walks at the mall. Just remember, anything slightly strenuous will lead to increased muscle mass. Lets replace these exercises with new activities that will help in losing excess muscle mass. For starters, take a car instead of riding a bike or walking. Use an escalator instead of stairs. Play Basketball, Football, Baseball all online in the form of video games instead of playing it Saturdays with your friends. Liked playing racquetball at the health club? You can still play your game of racquetball, just on a Nintendo Wii game console instead. It will burn much fewer calories and wont lend to the problem of increased muscle mass.

Exercise your mind, not your body. This is a new millennium and the paradigm has shifted. Reality TV has shown us that average guys are what the women want. They show average Joe's with not so average women. This proof is ultimately why we are here on this quest to lose excess muscle mass.

We've talked a little about exercise so now lets touch just a little on diet. Proper diet may be key in achieving wanted results. You can't continue to eat low fat high protein chicken 6 times a day and still smooth
away those chiseled abs. You need to be eating delicious but effective foods such as pizza, burritos, ice cream sandwiches, fettuccine Alfred, and plenty of high carb snacks. This will help your body convert already existing muscle mass into a much more desirable tissue. With these few simple steps, you will return back to average Joe status in no time. Once you figure out how your body responds to each equation of diet and exercise, mix it up a bit and find what works best for you.

Just remember that if there is a physical way to do something, someone else probably figured out another way to do it with much less physical effort. Take advantage of these "calorie savings" because we don't spend our calories, we save them. Once you are completed with your new diet/exercise plan and feel satisfied with your results, take note of how you feel and how others respect and treat you. Guys wont be intimidated by you, women wont constantly be staring at your biceps and chest like you are some sort of freak of nature. You will be an average Joe and this country is built by average Joes every single day.

09-09-2010, 07:05 PM
Lol I see what you did thar. Very informative.