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Colypso
10-19-2010, 07:30 PM
Okay, so here is the deal. I am 5'9" and over 200lbs. I'm not sure the actual number, since I don't own a scale, but last I checked I was 225lbs which was a couple months ago and I think I am a bit heavier. According to charts, I am suppose to be at about 145lbs.

Yet, I am just so embarassed about my weight I don't do anything. I know that sounds weird, but I don't know why I do it. I don't talk about it to anyone (I'm forcing myself to write this) because I feel ashamed at being this fat. I am only 18 and for the most part of my life I have been heavier than everyone. My best friend is skinny and I hate being next to her in public because she makes me feel fatter, and we've been friends since kindergarden.

I try so hard to eat right, and even convinsed my mom, after working up the courage to confront her, to get healthier foods, but after one week my dad pretty much said, "Enough of this healthy crap" and my mom went back to buying the old stuff she bought. She didn't buy any healthy dinners because she doesn't have the time to make two seperate dinners.

As for working out, I never have time to work out and when I do I get so embarassed if other people are around, even my family. I don't like running or jogging because I don't want people to look at me around town and see my fat going everywhere. I've tried to get my mind set out of this silly problem, but I can't.

I hate the idea of cosplaying someone skinny, or who shows a lot of skin, because I don't want people to look at me and think only of how fat I look compared to the original character instead of looking at the quality of the outfit. I am ashamed of myself for being like this, but I don't know how to stop myself from thinking like this. It is just hard for me to get the courage to tell someone I want help loosing weight.

It is my own weakness and you probably think I am being a baby. So, I ask you guys if you have any advice to help me get over this problem. I'm sorry that this is so long.

Oniigiri_Basket
10-19-2010, 07:42 PM
Actually, you don't sound so overweight to me. Here's a weight chart that should help you get a better grasp on what the average weight for your height and body frame should be.

http://www.halls.md/ideal-weight/met.htm

Knowing exactly where you stand should help your confidence level. I've always been self conscious about my body, but upon looking at some charts and seeing I was in the average weight range for my height, it helped me to feel better.

I hope you feel better!

Rjr3412
10-19-2010, 08:10 PM
Well hopefully I can offer a few words of advice that, if nothing else, will give you something to think about.

If you are embarrassed about exercising where other people can see, you have two choices. Either get past it, and use it to motivate yourself to work harder. That despite how tough it is to do now, you'll feel sooooo much better once you start making some progress.
The other option is to exercise alone, where no one can see until you feel more comfortable with yourself. The only difference is your self accountability. Will you work harder alone, or with the feeling that people are watching you, judging your attempts. (They aren't by the way, most of them are too self conscious about how they themselves look.)

Also, while there are some jerks out there, the ones who are just mean losers, have never, ever been over weight themselves. Anyone, and I mean anyone who has struggled and triumphed over being bigger than they wanted to be will at least acknowledge, and most likely respect someone who is trying.

If someone is overweight, and complains about being fat and does absolutely nothing but complain, thats where people lose the respect. That is when frankly they haven't done anything to earn other peoples respect. But if they are trying to better themselves, more power to them!


Now the other thing I'm going to convey is a little harsher. You said you were 18. You are an adult!!! The only one truly accountable for you, the state of your body, what you eat, how much you exercise is YOU.
Its all about making the commitment, finding the time and DOING something. If you are an adult, then you can't blame your family for not catering to your dietary wishes. Join them when you can, but otherwise make your own food. Buy your own groceries and be accountable for yourself.
I can hardly believe how much I used to let myself snack. Eating big bags of chips, pints of ice cream and boxes of cookies all in a single sitting, cause hey a container is the serving size right? Its all about being true to yourself.

If this is important to you, and by your reaching out, I think it is, then you have to decide is this important enough to start making some life changes. Is this an acceptable way to be for the rest of your life, or are you going to strive for better? People can be so accepting of where they are. Their grades aren't good enough, their job isn't good enough, they don't have a huge social life or date as much as they want. Well the fact is, is that it was your decisions that led to this, and it'll be your decisions that help you reach your goals.


I am by no means saying you need to do anything drastic. Just ONE single step at a time. Replace a snack with a piece of fruit. An orange, bananna or apple can be quite tasty, is probably cheaper than whatever snack was the alternative and will give you more energy. Start taking a walk around your neighborhood, as that gets easier pick up the pace and do an extra lap.

Take a look at some of the stickies on the forum, see what the nutrition section has to offer, and what the exercise section seems useful to you. Find what you can accommodate into your current lifestyle and gradually make the shift. It isn't about the short term, never ever ever. Its all about making and taking the steps to lead your life to a better path.

I absolutely promise and swear that if you can take the steps to make yourself a healthier person you will be amazed at how quickly you can transform yourself.

Hopefully I didn't come off as too preachy or harsh, but its tough seeing some of the shortcomings that I had to deal with myself, and I really hope to help.

tl;dr You are accountable for You

daylight
10-19-2010, 08:18 PM
you dont have to run/jog around town, but maybe you could go walking

and buy healthy food and make yourself dinner :)

Colypso
10-20-2010, 09:18 AM
I know I don't sound that overweight, but my tummy shows it. DX

And I know you guys suggested buying my own groceries, which is actually a good idea and wish I thought of it before, but I am currently unemployed and looking for a job. It doesn't help that my parents are the ones who want the entire family to sit down at the table for dinner.

But yeah, I guess I am an adult and should be taking care of myself. I kind of wrote this post when I hadn't slept for 24hrs, so after reading it today I thought, "Wow, I need to get over myself and do something. These guys are right. " XD

And for right now, I think I'll just start with walking around town, until I get comfortable with doing it with people around. Maybe after doing that, i can feel better about doing other stuff in front of people and possibly find a gym or something.

dustbunny
10-20-2010, 11:08 AM
i get what ur going though-- i was overweight for most of my life and once i gained 20 lbs in college i knew i had to change.
I started eating right foods and eating less--the first two weeks were the hardest but then it got easier.
Then i started doing workout tapes at the apartment alone when no one was there (about 5 times a week). Which helped me lose some weight. then i went to the gym,,,and some gyms have rooms where it is just for women or its dark. so find a gym that you like. and i say' gym' because you lose weight so much faster and u keep it off.
ALso a lot of people at the gym dont look at you they are mostly focused on what they are doing so dont stress over it.
I did this to be healthy but being able to do costumes that i knew i could now pull off was a plus.
good luck.

PhDPepper
10-21-2010, 11:25 PM
I know i personally don't pay attention to other people at the gym, pretty sure noone else does either. I didn't start off overweight but the opposite, 115lbs and 5'11" tall, lol, i felt awkward but... noone really bothers you, and its not like the gym is staring at you, unless your going to the gym wearing cosplay.

If it really bothers you just wear sound isolation headphones and listen to music, be in your own little world, lol.

rubyspitfire
10-22-2010, 02:06 AM
it sucks that your dad isn't supportive of a healthy lifestyle. i don't have any other advice than what's been given, so i wish you luck with your efforts

Colypso
10-22-2010, 08:51 AM
I guess I'm just paranoid about people. Lol

And yeah, I wish he was more into it, but what can you do?

Thanks :3

Patches
10-22-2010, 10:29 AM
You are certainly being paranoid about people. I was the same way about going to the gym. I've learned to realize that everyone there is there for the same reason I am, to better themselves and stay healthy. I've never once looked at an overweight person just walking on a treadmill (which is all I do mostly, walk and light jogging, being an asthmatic) and thought something mean or sarcastic because they are walking the same road I am. They came to the gym for a reason, and that was to get and stay healthy.

It seems everyone kinda ignores everyone else anyway lol. NOONE CARES ABOUT YOU THERE. They're strangers, so why should they?

I also go to a YMCA instead of a "normal" gym. There tends to be more "normal" people there. Lots of soccer moms, older people, more out of shape people in general haha. Which helps because I don't feel like anyone is looking down on me even if I know they're not anyway ><

The YMCA (or your local neighborhood center or what have you) is great after like, 6PM on weekdays. Most of the serious fitness people are gone by then lol. At least at mine.

I have learned though, that it's more about what you eat (just replacing Kool-Aid etc with water in my diet has done ALOT) than your working out, but the cardio and weights help too! I would rather go to the gym than walk outside because the same amount of time I spend on a treadmill walking, I am burning less than half of what I would be in the same amount of time on an elliptical. That's a big motivator to hit the gym for me. The amount of calories burned in ratio to the time I spent burning them is greater there it seems. I have a buddy that's also super out of shape that goes with me, and that's a great motivator.

saiyamanmasenko
10-22-2010, 06:51 PM
Patches~wonderful advice. I just find it funny that your YMCA and my YMCA have the exact opposite trends. The crowds show up around 5-6 and a lot of people there seem to be extra fit (but that could be a result of working out at the Y, lol).

SilverCollie
10-22-2010, 07:26 PM
Mentail willpower and determination are the key points but you still need to find what works best for you to make exercising as fun and easy as possible.

I have been doing kickboxing for five years and I am ALOT fitter now then when I was about a year and a half ago, It started went jogging for the first time to warm-up with my Ipod, the music made everything easier and running fun, I know run 4 miles everyday with my Ipod accompanied by music. I tired going on my parents cross-exerciser machine in the house but I just couldn't muster the same energy and enthusiasm than when Im running on the street.

I try to do a few exercises at home everyday but I rarely complete them as I cannot muster the energy, but when I'm training I can easily 10 times more than I would do at home simply because I'm more focus and determined when I'm not at home.

As for food, when I started uni again 4 weeks ago, for the first week I ate absolutely out of control because I never planned anything and had to eat what was available. to keep that under control I started bringing my own sandwiches and sweets to uni for me to eat. Okay I'm still bringing sweets, but I eat less than I would have eaten otherwise and it saves me alot of money. I also have a policy of always drinking diet to regular coke, and I treat myself to nice take out food on Friday. I know Allowing myself take away on a Friday is a step back, but It' something to look forward too.

Experiment to find out what works best for you, make rules, set limits, try exercising in a different place or at a different time.

emmisu
10-22-2010, 08:06 PM
I can definitely see where you're coming from. My pre-teen years were... let's just say less than pretty. But a big factor in all of this, more than your diet or exercise or accountability, is your mind.
Look at yourself in the mirror, and say "I'm Beautiful" (Or hot/sexy/whatever adjective you prefer)
It may sound concieted, it may be concieted, but having confidence is what carries a person ten times better than feeling down. Even at your current weight, if you feel good about yourself, people will perceive you the same way.

You're a person, not a sideshow, and you ARE beautiful both inside and out so long as you can believe it.

As for diet, I lost like 20lbs over a year when I stopped drinking soda all together, and I lost a little more when I quit coffee too. Hot/Iced tea is a great way to have a flavored drink, without added sugars or calories. Water is the best thing for you in the world, so drink more and more and focus on eating less salt because salt makes you retain water which makes you all wiggly.

You can still have all of the things you have now(well, most things), just eat fruit with your meals (The acid in fruit makes a lot of calories drop right through) and remember: All things in moderation". Don't watch TV while you eat, and chew your food longer than normal while focusing on eating and you'll feel full faster.

As for exercise, Walk. Just walk. Go up the stairs a few times, use a trampoline, jump rope, swing set, cartwheels, muscle flexing. Pretty much anything counts as exercise for the newbie.
I cook for my family a lot, so I put on music while I'm cooking and I dance around the kitchen and that gets me pumped most of the time.

I hope this helps you out, good luck on your lifestyle <3

JDscosplay
10-23-2010, 12:18 AM
I don't really have much to add since everyone seems to have covered it all :-) i think if you are still feeling self conscious about working out the idea of doin exercise tapes at home when you are alone is am great idea. Also, if you can't get your own healthy foods, try eating more of the healthier items on the table and less of the unhealthy ones. eat mostly vegetables and less meat and carbs. anyway, good luck! :-)

raesama
10-23-2010, 01:15 PM
-offers hugs- I've been there before too. I'm actually about your height and weight as well (just shy of 5' 10" and 218) and although I know I have attractive proportions, sometimes things feel really out of hand. I don't know your family situation, but I'd like to offer some help.

You said one problem with eating healthier lay in your mom not having enough time to make two dinners... If you can cook--heck, even if you can't xD--why not volunteer to make your own food a couple times a week? It's an investment in your own health, confidence, and independence, and I don't think any parent can argue with that.

I've taken up running for the sake of a cosplay this summer (I don't want my thighs to scare anyone xD), and one way I get around it is to run early in the morning or in the evening. There aren't as many people around then... And, despite how you may feel, to be honest nobody really pays joggers a second glance. If you're absorbed enough in what you're doing, people won't pay you any mind--and you'll feel and look better. Don't be afraid to "subject" anyone to your body. You're a person, and have every right to exercise (pun!) your right to exercise.

I'm not asking you to stop feeling embarrassed, or even to like working to improve, but I can see you're trying really hard and I think that will is going to help you! Feel free to PM me if you need moral support <3

[/rant]

SKNeko
10-23-2010, 03:40 PM
Hey Colypso, (cool name if I may say so)

There's already a lot of great advice here, but I'll offer this too. I know how you feel! I just joined a gym and they had some cool Zumba and dance classes that I've always wanted to try. But when I started the zumba class I was so self concious because everyone seemed to be in better shape than I was. All of a sudden I hated the sweat pants I chose to wear and I stood in the back so no one could watch me. But after the class I had a few people talk to me randomly and it was all comments like good job and you seemed to be really enjoying yourself.

Something they say a lot in theatre to new actors is to remember that the audience wants you to succeed. That's what they came to see you do, put on a great show. And the same, I think, applies to the things you do to better yourself. More often than not the people at the gym, or at the track, or whichever are there with the same goal as you. And my sister always tells me when I get worried about what other people think that I'm being a little self centered, since other people's worlds don't usually revolve around me (though I'm working on fixing that little problem) harsh a little bit, but my sister is pretty blunt in her opinions.

And fixing things isn't about changing all things at once (I'm pretty sure this has already been said before) but taking small steps and small changes. My father always says "You don't shove a whole apple into your mouth, you take small bites to finish it."
When I work on my weight with this in mind it makes it easier. Such as last week I had what I would normally consider a bad week because I ate out more often that necessary. But instead of ordering big I got smaller portions and ate till I was satisfied. I was still able to lose three pounds this week, so it was an okay week. Even if the wrong food is infront of you (my Weight Watchers coach says) you're the one that controls how much goes into you.

So sorry I wrote so much~ But I hope its useful.

eiriks
10-23-2010, 05:08 PM
I'm not sure whether this is good advice or not...
but since you're also asking about the cosplay aspect of it.
You should work with yourself and not against yourself. There are so many great characters you can cosplay who are obese, and they are hard to pull off well by skinny people. Like Super Mario, he's a great example, and also very popular, everybody will instantly recognize you! :-) Even the random bypassers in the streets will. And all of the kindest people, like the mother in Kakariko village, in Zelda!

SilverSteam
10-23-2010, 06:03 PM
Okay, so here is the deal. I am 5'9" and over 200lbs. I'm not sure the actual number, since I don't own a scale, but last I checked I was 225lbs which was a couple months ago and I think I am a bit heavier. According to charts, I am suppose to be at about 145lbs.

Yet, I am just so embarassed about my weight I don't do anything. I know that sounds weird, but I don't know why I do it. I don't talk about it to anyone (I'm forcing myself to write this) because I feel ashamed at being this fat. I am only 18 and for the most part of my life I have been heavier than everyone. My best friend is skinny and I hate being next to her in public because she makes me feel fatter, and we've been friends since kindergarden.

I try so hard to eat right, and even convinsed my mom, after working up the courage to confront her, to get healthier foods, but after one week my dad pretty much said, "Enough of this healthy crap" and my mom went back to buying the old stuff she bought. She didn't buy any healthy dinners because she doesn't have the time to make two seperate dinners.

As for working out, I never have time to work out and when I do I get so embarassed if other people are around, even my family. I don't like running or jogging because I don't want people to look at me around town and see my fat going everywhere. I've tried to get my mind set out of this silly problem, but I can't.

I hate the idea of cosplaying someone skinny, or who shows a lot of skin, because I don't want people to look at me and think only of how fat I look compared to the original character instead of looking at the quality of the outfit. I am ashamed of myself for being like this, but I don't know how to stop myself from thinking like this. It is just hard for me to get the courage to tell someone I want help loosing weight.

It is my own weakness and you probably think I am being a baby. So, I ask you guys if you have any advice to help me get over this problem. I'm sorry that this is so long.

I know exactly how you feel.. but only i am 15 and not 18....everything is exactly the same for me...i am actually about 200lbs...And i really understand...But find a motivation to feel ad though you have to do something if your dad says something to the effect of "enough of this healthy crap" tell him all the bad effects of being over wight and tell him you don't want to be like that. my dad tried to make the excuse all you have to do is run and i had to tell him it isn't like that hand he knows it...you have to end up getting firm with your parents even if it ends in a fight. OK? don't give up hope me and you will both find a solution together! OK?


love your new sister,

SilverSteam

LadyEvanescent
10-23-2010, 07:07 PM
I know it's hard when parents don't fully support their child's wishes to be healthier. My mom is like that, she believes in eating whatever is quick. You are an adult, and you need to sit down and talk with your dad. Let him know, this healthy diet is for you. It is something you want, and while you don't have to have a "healthy" dinner every night, make sure that you eat a healthy dinner a couples times a week. Chose healthier options for snacks, lunches, and breakfasts. You are an adult, and if you want it, you have to do it yourself. If you go grocery shopping with your mom, it's nothing to ask to pick up a few frozen veggies, do the rest of the family have to eat them? No. You can steam them yourself, eat a small portion that night, and have something for lunch the next day. It's something as simple as having your mom pick up single serve things. Especially if your dad refuses to listen or cater to your wishes for a healthier diet.

And you don't have to run or jog around the neighborhood. You can walk. If you change small things in your diet and walk, you will notice a change in your weight. Instead of driving to the store, walk to the store. Instead of driving to school, walk to school. Tell yourself, "I'm tired of being overweight. I'm tired of not being happy with myself. I'm going to change that. I'm going to feel as beautiful as I truly am." Make a plan, and stick with it. Don't let what people think deter you.

tealgoddess
10-23-2010, 10:27 PM
Although I haven't been in your shoes, my Aunt has all the way, and what she is doing that really helps her is joining weight watchers. They give you a chart of how many calories/carbs/etc. you can take in through a numbering system, in which you start with a large number (depending on your weight) and loose a bit of the numbers each month (if I remember right; I don't go besides the couple times I visit my aunt, but she tells me about it). This would allow you to eat at the table with your family, having the same things they do, just in smaller sizes. They also have meetings every week which help boost your confidence and will to finish. There's also plenty of obese women there at the meetings, so you won't feel out of place; if anything you'd probably feel skinnier that a few. They tell you to work out a bit too, and give you insightful ideas for snacking, food choices, will boosters, etc.

sicdedman
10-24-2010, 12:15 AM
I have been in the same position when i was 14-19. i never went outside to play with friends,hangout ect. always stayed home,Ate Late at night(Poptarts,icecream,cereal) every single night. i was at a constant 195-205 weight at 5'10. when i was at my Grandparents one weekend i got sick to my stomach felt like i was going to explode. bed ridden for 2 half days,i got home and decided to make a change in what i ate when i ate and i started to go to work with my dad (Construction) - i stopped eatting the late night snacks, it was VERY difficult i wanted to hurt someone for a poptart or Sumthing with Sugar but i weathered it out, i noticed in after 6 months of working,cut food portions,and getting more sleep a night 8 hours. i felt a little better i also lost 29 pounds. i never ever did any weight lose program and wasted the money doing that, just instead of ice cream i ate few carrots,grapes,peaches,plums, celery with little peanut butter. didnt use any butter-ketchup-mayo on alot of meals. drank more water. went to bed around 9:00 slept till 5:00am started my day and continued everyday.

now at 27 - almost 28 i weigh 144lbs, 5'10. i try and drink 1 gallon of water within 30 hours to keep hydrated, i eat (peaches,plums,ect.) i just found out i have Celiac Disease, so now i have to change some of the meals i was eatting for diet, going to be hard to adjust there lol. i dont exercise or workout. just continue in (construction) so thats my workout i guess...

when i see heavy people jogging around my neighborhood streets i give them Alot of credit, that they want to do something bout the weight and they want to change their life-style. its easier said than done for someone over weight to go out and workout and walk/run/jog. have to carry extra pounds and its puts weight on the knees and ankles. so DONT be embarassed to go out, its your life/Health not someone else. Goodluck to Everyone !

blacknekohinata
11-08-2010, 04:47 AM
You sound exactly like me. Literally speaking. I'm 18, 5"9, 228.5lbs. I hated the idea of going out and running and I had a hard time with the food around the house but that was due to my pregnant sister not my parents.
The first thing I have to say is to start counting your calories. Instead of piling up your plate at dinner measure out your servings and don't eat more than one serving. Don't continuously snack through out the day. Eat a simple breakfast, a small snack (such as peanut butter crackers) between, then a small lunch, another small snack, and then dinner.
Of course just this isn't going to help. Try joining a gym. Some can get a bit pricey but it's worth it. And don't worry about the other people around, they're there to work out just like you not to judge you.
I had to overcome these things myself but luckily I had my mom there supporting me 100%. Also cosplay who you want to! I won't wear anything too revealing at my current size but that doesn't stop me from cosplaying totally. If anything you'll be judged on the quality of your cosplay items, not how you personally look.
I know how you feel and I know it's hard but sometimes you just have to take a deep breath and remind yourself that you're the only one who notices your flaws. And anyone who makes comments on your weight or how you look in general aren't worth your time of day.
Keep your head up!

ShineyPenny
11-08-2010, 07:18 PM
Go out and exercise, don't be concerned with how much you weigh. You always see people jogging, walking or working out. They don't do it to show off how much they weigh, they do it to lose or maintain their weight.

craiken
11-08-2010, 10:43 PM
Had a similar issue back when I started but here's a big FYI:

Nobody in a gym, outside, or anywhere else you may exercise really cares about what you're doing; they're mostly self absorbed into doing their own exercises. You may get those that glance at you and judge you but no matter who you are, that'll happen.

Nobody's going to come up to you and laugh, or stop you from exercising, intentionally get in the way of you exercising, etc. The only one who's doing that is you at the moment.

Props to you for wanting to get started in getting in shape. Keep it up and realize that there's really no one that's out to prevent you from getting in shape other than yourself and that people will not really care if you're out trying to get into shape. Hell, I think most will at least have the thought "at least they're doing something about it" cross their minds before they go back to doing whatever it was they were doing.

Loplod
11-08-2010, 11:29 PM
Had a similar issue back when I started but here's a big FYI:

Nobody in a gym, outside, or anywhere else you may exercise really cares about what you're doing; they're mostly self absorbed into doing their own exercises. You may get those that glance at you and judge you but no matter who you are, that'll happen.

Nobody's going to come up to you and laugh, or stop you from exercising, intentionally get in the way of you exercising, etc. The only one who's doing that is you at the moment.

Just to keep going with this. if you feel bad just crank up your Ipod (not so loud that others can hear it) and focus on yourself. think about what it will be like in a few months time when you get to your goal and they see you and think "Woah, thats progress!"

And if people look at you, who cares!? you've made the first step in GOING to the gym and trying to fix it. I would be a lot more judgmental on a person who was happy living a bad lifestyle than someone actively trying to change it. With a little willpower, Anything is possible so get out and there and go for it!