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View Full Version : My Mother just discovered that I will be crossplaying for Anime Expo.


BIOJECT
12-06-2003, 07:37 PM
She found the box the bra came in, in my trash can (Stupid me) so now she knows that I plan on dressing up as a girl. Great huh? She told me that she was worried that I might have been up to something else. I reassured here that it was only for Anime Expo. But still... dammit she wasn't supposed to know! EVER! :waaaah:

Raine
12-06-2003, 07:47 PM
As long as your mother is okay with it, and isn't stopping you, then why care if she knows? Now she knows that her child is creative and different! :D

(I'm gunna tell my parents about me crossdressing, and I doubt if they'll care. They appreciate my creativity!)

Tsuchi
12-06-2003, 08:11 PM
Yeah if she understands that is just for a cosplay than it shouldn't matter but i understand how ya feel cept meh mom found meh plans for Crosplaying Crim (dothack) and freaked thinking i was going to walk around in public with out shirt on.

Ookami
12-06-2003, 08:33 PM
She found the box the bra came in, in my trash can (Stupid me) so now she knows that I plan on dressing up as a girl. Great huh? She told me that she was worried that I might have been up to something else. I reassured here that it was only for Anime Expo. But still... dammit she wasn't supposed to know! EVER! :waaaah:

Awwww! :lost: That sucks!

I hope that my mum never finds out what I'm planning (Ichigo from Tokyo Mew Mew, and Sailor Chibi/Mini Moon) :eeek: If she does, I'm doomed! :lost:

She already knows that I want to be a girl...well, kinda...I told her a while ago, but then I couldn't take the stress, so I told her that I don't want to anymore......Now I'm just confused!!!

I just hope she isn't freaked out or anything! *pats you on the back* There there... :(

ElvishBoi
12-06-2003, 09:03 PM
Ouch.. that has to suck >_<
I mean, the awkwardness and suspense in the moment it occurs had to have been like.. heart attack city, but after time has passed and you both don't dwell on it too much, the anxiety has to subside a little huh?
I haven't really crossplayed myself as a character or anything, but I think I would probably keep it anonymous if I did too... I mean, I don't even tell my folks that I dress as goth on occasion, not that I would stop if they found out... I mean, we're all adults here right ^_-

But anyway, maybe it's good this happened, unintentionally... cuz it may have paved the way for future instances, and she can have that in her mind for the next little surprise if one happens, which she wouldn't have before... since you wouldn't have brought it up on your own..

those are my thoughts, anyway. Feel free to gripe at me if you think I'm an idiot :P

BountyBebopLuva
12-06-2003, 09:27 PM
I flat out told my Mom I'm crossplaying Jack Sparrow for the Motor City Comic Con and she thought I would make a great Jack! I don't think she would much mind and I'm sure she rather me dress as a covered man then a slutty anime chick.

Hotaru
12-07-2003, 01:05 PM
i think it's more accepted for girls to crossplay. we can wear pants, so why not the whole schebang! but that sucks. just tell her it's something you want to do, and you *hoped* she'd just accept it.

engrish
12-07-2003, 03:57 PM
This is the part where the father sits down with his son and has a "man to man" talk. ROTFLMAO
one of the things that I have learned in life is that you just can't hide anything from your mother, the father yes, mother no :D

Lottie
12-07-2003, 04:40 PM
This is the part where the father sits down with his son and has a "man to man" talk. ROTFLMAO
one of the things that I have learned in life is that you just can't hide anything from your mother, the father yes, mother no :D

That is true exactly. But who would rather have their father find out over their mother finding out? Hopefully though Bioject your mother isint secretly freaked out, just be extra careful from now on. If i was a mother and I found a bra box in my son's room I would be a little wigged out at first but if he told me it was for cosplay then I would be all alright......but then again, I am not a mother.

BIOJECT
12-07-2003, 06:39 PM
I would have to kill myself if my Step Dad discovered I am crossplaying. He doesn't even understand cosplay so how the heck would he understand crossplaying any better? He would make fun of me for days to come. ALL of his friends would know without hours of the news and they would help in making fun of me whenever they got the chance.

Once when I was younger, I found a cute little pair of white panties. (Don't ask where I found them and no they weren't any of my family members) I hid them behind my water bed thinking it was safe. Once when I Mom was cleaning the room, she found them all bundled up. lol

RHIshida
12-08-2003, 06:11 AM
All hades broke loose when my dad found out about my secrets, but he didn't say anything to me. He's been trying to masculinafy me with stupid questions that pertain to masculine topics. It's really funny because he seriously thinks he's changed me. :P

Link Arroway
12-08-2003, 10:59 AM
Ouch, the ackward feelings between yourself and parents is rough. :( My parents found out about my first, at Animazement 2003, then forbid me to do it again. I did, got away with it at Otakon, then at NekoCon they found out again, repetavely bugged me about it after another ackward period of silence (first experienced after Animazement), and give me more greif about it. If they find out again, I am truely doomed, until I move out anyways. I will let my parents believe what they want and go behind their backs because cosplay is important to me.

RoboGundam6
12-08-2003, 12:46 PM
My dad thought I was crazy crossplaying a guy, but he really had no problem (I'm a girl), but yea I guess its harder for guys, I wish you luck and besides that you have your own life, do whatever you want...as long it doesn't involve maming ang killing, cuz thats bad lol ^^!

BountyBebopLuva
12-08-2003, 04:06 PM
I agree that guys who crossplay girls need two things: luck and understanding parents. I'm sure that if you talk to your parents and let them understand what is going on they'll have no problem with it. I have more problem with my parents cosplaying girls because I tend to choose costumes that are rather skimpy. They think I'm gonna look like a whore or something.

momo_anzu
12-08-2003, 04:51 PM
Ouch....my mom thinks it's wierd enough I'm cosplaying as Mana, and I'm a girl! (Wierd, I know, but she knows he's a guy so she's all like "0_o? What's the point if he's dressing up as a girl?" and when I dress up as guys, she's ok with it but just rolls her eyes....I hope your mother is ok with you cosplaying. Don't see it being very fair if she forbids you from doing this. You are being very creative! Becoming a guy is hard enough, but becoming a girl seems very very hard, heh. You guys need to tuck, stuff (or duck-tape, like Danni ^-^), etc.....I think she should be understanding...

Michela
12-08-2003, 05:29 PM
i think it's more accepted for girls to crossplay. we can wear pants, so why not the whole schebang! but that sucks. just tell her it's something you want to do, and you *hoped* she'd just accept it.

I most definitely agree with that... as it is with male crossplayers and cross-dressers, they are much less accepted, and that's a shame... In my situation, I nonchalantly informed them many of my costumes are of boys... (they can't generally tell, though, as the characters I choose are so effeminite! On more than one occasion, I have been told my portrayal of Rosiel from Angel Sanctuary was extremely feminine XD) They found it strange, but decided not to ask any questions; creating costumes of a beloved anime character was *much* more obscure than dressing as males.
I hope your mom accepts your hobby of cosplaying and crossplaying! (At the very least, there's a whole community that supports you. ^_^)

felicity869
12-17-2003, 08:00 PM
I think if you have openminded parents you shouldn't keep things like this a secret. I don't think it's anything to feel ashamed about and need to hind (but then I'm a girl and I understand it's a million times different for a guy). I'm sure if my boyfriend's mom found out that he wanted to crossplay she'd freak. It wouldn't matter that it's just a costume and that he had a live in girlfriend, she'd still freak. Mom's are just crazy like that sometimes. I guess it's just a generation gap sort of thing.

K9nekomata
12-24-2003, 09:55 AM
Hello, hello! I just felt like jumping into the discusion. Im a guy, and I have way more fav female characters than male anime characters. Ive never cosplayed yet, cause im obviously new, but I have a solution for guys who want to be as their fav female character especially if their like Felicia from Darkstalkers or some school girl with a skirt. Just be creative and make male versions of that female character. If you do it right ppl will know who you are. Have of the time, thats what im gonna end up doing. But my first cosplay, im gonna be Hsienko from Darkstalkers and I can very easily change around a couple of things and make it more masculine, or I can leave like it is cause its a costume that either a male or female could were easily with out confusion.

Kuri-chan
12-24-2003, 10:20 AM
Things get easier as you get older. If your mother hasn't gotten upset yet, then she prolly wonít. Parents can surprise you that way.

I have had the fortune of accepting (not necessarily understanding, but accepting) parents, friends, and a very supporting wife. I'm one of the lucky ones, I suppose.

You have to be you, and your parents will learn to accept that. Don't be secretive. Don't throw it in their face, but don't try to hide it. If you act like its something to be ashamed of, then itís giving them permission to feel ashamed.


but I have a solution for guys who want to be as their fav female character especially if their like Felicia from Darkstalkers or some school girl with a skirt. Just be creative and make male versions of that female character.
There are mixed opinions on changing the gender of the character rather than costuming the opposite gender. Take a look at http://forums.cosplay.com/showthread.php?t=26610 for the discussion. If itís a comfort level for you, then celebrate the character however you like, and have fun with it. For my fandom dollar, I prefer to crossplay. ^_^

-Kuri

Panda_Brat
12-28-2003, 03:23 PM
I wish I was a guy so I could crossplay as a girl because, you know, it is "weird" for guys to dress as girls. But look at the ancient greeks they wore toga's and those are like dresses. I say lets all rip apart the traditional dress code! Gooooo Crossplay!

Ami
01-06-2004, 09:08 PM
hmm im game for everything i look at it like thus the parents find out the worst they can do is take everything away and stop you from going, but you still have somthing going for you, frame of mind you can always rebuild what was taken and try again, even if it requires more tact, since im going as Quistis there has been some shall we say.. turblance between the family so ive just layed low and then got creative and i have to be creative on the way to the convention, so the moral is if they wreck it rebuild it they can't always catch you

Karrit
01-15-2004, 04:00 PM
My parents are cool about it when I do things like this. They know the kind of creative person I am and know I dress up as a character because I like the character. Plus I'm an adult so it's really my decision. =)

Silver Minx
01-16-2004, 08:35 PM
My mother went through my wardrobe, doing a mass spirg-cleanout (even though it's winter -_- ) and she found the back portion of my wardrobe, completely filled with male ties, suits, button up shirts, cordoroys, down to the last pair of damn boxers. This was about a year ago...

I found it a little bit weird when she first confronted me about everything, but obviously, I guess it would have come out into the open. I mean, I was hauling in massive cheques from work and all of it was dissapearing in the blink of an eye and credit card statements were coming in left and right.

My family doesn't encourage or support it, but they don't exactly despise my crossdressing/crossplaying either. I'm still a girl and I still wear dresses and tight shirts, but it's more or less one of those "I don't want to know, so I won't ask. If I don't ask, you won't have to tell me."

I guess you just kind of learn to live with it. If it gets too awkward, I'm just going to move out to CA with my girlfriend. :bigtu:

ZaWolf
01-18-2004, 02:49 PM
As Ive mentioned elsewhere on these forums it kinda goes beyond crossplay for me, to point where at some times I want to be female rather than just dress as one. And I only have the one parent to tell, but that doesnt seem to make it any easier.

The problem with telling your parents is that they are very protective of you and also very close to you. So they want you to live a nice normal healthy life and be happy, while you dont want to dissappiont them because of how close you are to parents naturally. Things can go really well, okayish or really badly. They either try to understand, figure its just one of those things or freak out. Either of the first two are okay, but the third is terrible.

If I dont 'come to my senses' over all my gender issues eventually, then telling my mum is going to be the hardest thing to do.

ACXchan
01-18-2004, 03:51 PM
Short history lesson! Pants as we know them today didn't even come into fashion until the French Revolution where simple pants became the symbol of the working class, so wearing pants showed that you wanted to rebel against the oppression of the aristocracy. The Greeks wearing togas really didn't have much to do with gender. Same with Alexander the Great and skirts, mm... yummy XD

But back on topic, ironically my dad has less of a problem with my crossplaying than my mom does. My mom sort of makes a funny face when she finds out what I'm cosplaying, kind of like a big "O__o;;" but she doesn't stop me. My dad doesn't really seem to care as long as I'm not creating trouble ^ ^;

I think you (BIOJECT) should be worried only if they think crossplaying somehow implies something about your sexuality. I hate it when parents say "We'll accept you however you are." but then make horrified looks when they think you might actually be non-heterosexual. It's uncalled for and prolonging it could lead to all sorts of assumptions (based on simply crossplaying of all things) that may or may not be correct but either way could lead to your parents suddenly growing concerned about your sexuality, which you might not want to deal with right now. I don't get why people can't believe that a bi/homosexual man can be masculine and a heterosexual man can be feminine, bah.

BIOJECT
01-18-2004, 11:13 PM
I'm spending so much money on this costume, that when it's finished it will probably be as close to the anime as it will ever get.

Ami
01-22-2004, 11:42 PM
lol is good and yes ACXchan is right cause i had to do a project in world history as i had to dress up as a king and they wore a skirt and that was awsome..... anyways kinda forgot what i was gonna say.....

Volksen
01-23-2004, 04:37 AM
I'm luckily in the fact that my parents are understanding and supportive. Recently my mom helped me hunt for boots and it was the store clerk who made the O_o face when my mom said "HE needs these in a size 11" while holding up knee high black leather heels. I only wish I could have been there to see that lol. At first my mom was like I dont know how your father is going to feel about seeing his son in a skirt but he just kinda laughed it off. He knows the next day I will be back to working construction, making swords and blowing stuff up so there are no worries :D

And I think the bra package in the trash can ranks right up there with the discovery of the 'adult' material or girlfriend/boyfriend's article of clothing found on your floor by your parents. I wish there could be a gallery of pictures that were taken at the moment the parent discovers said object and the moment that the child is aware that the parent knows. That would be a great gallery and I have a feeling that the pictures would be pretty similar between parent and child.

Ami
01-23-2004, 08:38 AM
niceness..... who are you going as Volksen? Neways thats true all the way the looks on cashiers faces is priceless... i know i have had many a look from cashiers when i went shopping.... that was funny as all out.....

Volksen
01-23-2004, 01:15 PM
Cashiers can be cool though too. The girl in the drug store was happy and giddy because I was the first guy she ever helped shop for makeup lol. The costume is an original character that takes inspiration from a few different characters. Thats the only way I can describe it. You will just have to goto A-kon to see it or wait till after for piccies :)

Ami
01-23-2004, 05:32 PM
lol i see is good orginal is cool im going to Sakura myself...... and you are correct some cashiers are cool and excited with it i know my makeup vender was very excited when i told her what i planned it was almost amusing

ACXchan
01-23-2004, 10:40 PM
And I think the bra package in the trash can ranks right up there with the discovery of the 'adult' material or girlfriend/boyfriend's article of clothing found on your floor by your parents. I wish there could be a gallery of pictures that were taken at the moment the parent discovers said object and the moment that the child is aware that the parent knows. That would be a great gallery and I have a feeling that the pictures would be pretty similar between parent and child.

LMAO I would pay to see this too! Of course.. I'd never want to be one of those kids or parents in the gallery ^ ^;; You should add moments when a kid finds something "adult" belonging to the parent x__x

Dolly_Entrails
01-23-2004, 11:11 PM
haha when my dad found my Shounen ai drawings...that was akward...he thinks Im a perv...oh well I dont really care he only feeds me.

I dont know why everyones saying its easier to crossplay if your a girl... I mean in this "day and age" (lol) its socialy harder on guys b/c they never where skirts and its widely accepted for girls to wear pants...
But hey? Through out history haven't guys dressed up as the females for theatrical purposes before females were aloud to be involved. Plus my fellow females have these things called boobs that make it hard to pull off a majority of crossplay.

Ami
01-24-2004, 01:37 AM
lol very true our counterpart has those but you do have painful but ok salvation called duct tape.... anyways you get the general idea and yes before times guys did dress as women heh i saw a romeo and juliet play recently that used that same principal and the guy kissed the other and all the kids in the class were disgusted... but hey its life and we have ways around problems like that...

ZaWolf
01-24-2004, 06:33 AM
haha when my dad found my Shounen ai drawings...that was akward...he thinks Im a perv...oh well I dont really care he only feeds me.

I dont know why everyones saying its easier to crossplay if your a girl... I mean in this "day and age" (lol) its socialy harder on guys b/c they never where skirts and its widely accepted for girls to wear pants...
But hey? Through out history haven't guys dressed up as the females for theatrical purposes before females were aloud to be involved. Plus my fellow females have these things called boobs that make it hard to pull off a majority of crossplay.

Which ever gender you are, the biggest problem with crossplay is cleavage. And I may be biased, but I still think its harder for guys to crossplay because being femenine is supposedly a sign of 'weakness' rather than just being different.

Dolly_Entrails
01-25-2004, 04:18 PM
worse social stigma for guys I guess :nods:...

Darien
01-28-2004, 02:07 PM
I agree that society is biased towards guys who crossplay as girls. I would love to crossplay as Eternal Sailor Moon if I ever get the opportunity. People tend to fear or attack anything they don't understand. It is so easy to cast judgment than to actually learn about it. It is also an shame that people who see guys acting feminine as a sign of weakness. I personally salute any guy who crossplays and/or acts feminine.

momo_anzu
01-29-2004, 04:52 AM
I agree with Darian ^_^. Gender, age, and race should never be a guideline for how you behave!!

NoLable721
01-29-2004, 10:13 AM
well my parents don't really know much about anime or video games, so if i do make a guy cosutem, they wouldn't even notice if it's crossplay (which I'm planning to actually).

Ami
01-30-2004, 11:02 PM
hmm the way i see it socity is one minded, one way of thinking and the people like us, we think the other way to my theory is thus, disregard the veil of what is socially acceptable and do what we want

vyrax778
01-31-2004, 01:27 AM
I guess Im a really lucky kid my mom is helping me make my hat Ririsu for AX also (from Yami to Boushi to Hon no Tabibito) and When I was showing her reference images she was like if you need anyhelp weI can always run down and help you bra to stuff.
all I could say was "Mom your cool!" When I first crossplayed she was suprised I even bothered to shave my legs for the part "well yeah mom I was wearing a Mini skirt" I guess I am one of the few lucky ones Who's Parents dont care either way and Understand its just a hobby. One of my Friends on the other hand Keeps thinking im gay since 90% of my cosplay is crossplay. Its more becouse 90% of the characters I like are Female.

And I do Agree Guys have it alot worse then Girls do. I guess its one of the Double Standards of the fandom. #1 being Fangirl "ooh character XXX is hot" = acceptible Guy"Man character XXX is hot = Pervert
followed by #2 Girl dressed as a guy cool Guy going as a girl = WTF are they thinking.

Ami
01-31-2004, 01:54 PM
thats what makes us unique to society now that I think about it..... we are considered the outcasts and the fags we play by our own rules socity's rules or in this analogy the referee doesn't like us and is try to use every rule in book to kick us out, but we always find loopholes to continue playing..... in the nut shell we are elite bunch who outdo the rest of socity... then there is always the parent who in this analogy is the loop hole like in vyrax 778's parents... then there are those like mine who would kick us out of the game..... so yeah thats cents sorry if it doesnt make any sense im kinda tweaked out right now.....