I'll be honest. Look to spend a minimum of $400-500.
And here are some of your requirements that just won't work out like you thought.
-Stabilization balance (Steady shot -had to many shots jacked from folks bumping me just as I take that shot...><)
No IS in the world will solve that problem. Its for hand shake. The only difference will be the near zero shutterlag.
-Decent Optical Zoom (as many times have to take a shot of a photoshoot from distance and don't want it looking grainy)
Eh it depends on the Lens you buy gets you the "zoom" you want. As far as being grainy. Its not just the lens itself that causes the grain. Its usually the lack of light and using a High ISO. DSLR's won't automagically fix this problem.