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Unread 11-23-2010, 10:27 PM   #40
Aleiki
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Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 391
Okay, first and foremost: I am not a lolita, and I know very little about the style. I'm not really posting to deal with any of the specifics people seem to be having issues with, but, having been raised by a Libra, I'm seeing two very valid sides of this and I feel a need to try to put out there what I'm seeing so people don't get any more angry.

Sword-Saint: first of all, I know you said you wouldn't post again in this thread. But I hope that if you read this, maybe you won't be as angry as you seemed. I understand where you're coming from. (If in reading this, if you do read it, you find that I have no clue where you're coming from, perhaps this is an issue in online communication... which I doubt it is, since you seemed pretty clear.) From what I'm seeing, you want to make things that people like, and you want to make it lolita since you enjoy the style. It also seems that because you perhaps didn't make it clear enough what you were saying at first, people were perhaps a bit more harsh than they could have been, and right off the bat people were offended on both sides.

It does also, however, seem clear that while you're trying to get your point across, you seem to be ignoring some points that some people are making because it seems like you thought they were just trying to be offensive or rude or discouraging. I don't think they were: I think, for the most part (and from what I've read there are some exceptions) they were just being... blatantly and perhaps slightly harshly helpful? Honest. Maybe honest is a good word.

It seems like the consensus is that, yeah, if you want to make your own stuff that's awesome, but you started off saying "lolita" and then "I want to be original," both of which are fine. But what some people may have read was "why should I follow lolita rules?" It seems like everyone kind of took things to an extreme in both directions, and so people got offended.

It does seem like you could use some, like someone said, brushing up on basics. Trust me when I say I'm ten times as confused as you are when people say" this fabric and not that" for lolita, and I don't know much about fabrics, so I couldn't tell you what's good quality or not good quality. And I think the fact that you're not a pro shouldn't mean you automatically are going to make low-quality lolita things. I don't think that's necessarily what people were getting at, but it was starting to sound like it. What could, however, help, is a wider range of knowledge about fabrics. At least types of fabrics, and then the quality of fabrics can come next. I don't mean to sound patronizing, but there were a few times I saw that you weren't sure what a fabric was that someone mentioned, and since they seemed to be fabrics that lolitas used fairly often, perhaps it's a good thing to look into.

One other thing that came to mind as I was reading this: there was a common theme that lolitas won't buy something that isn't sufficiently lolita. I think the original point was more of a... warning? That if you're going to try to sell lolita things, if they're not precisely lolita, many lolitas are very strict about what they buy and they simply won't be interested. This coming from lolitas, of course, they were very strict and precise about the way they said this, which perhaps came across as harsh.

If you want to sell lolita-type things, maybe do start off selling things that aren't quite lolita, and while you're at it you can learn more things about the entire community, and fabrics, and whatnot, through experience. At the same time, you can, potentially, make things that people will enjoy wearing. I think that would be really cool. And as long as you don't lablel things as lolita that aren't EXACTLY lolita, I don't think you'll offend anyone (and I'm pretty certain, after reading this thread, that people would get offended.)

I hope I didn't come across as harsh: this was exactly the opposite of my intentions.

As for other people, yes, he did ignore some points that people made... but if it had been me, I would have felt pretty bombarded by harsh criticism, even if that's not what was intended. This thread read more like an argument than something really helpful, although there were helpful points throughout. I think most of the issues that popped up were mostly due to things Sword-Saint said that either weren't 100% correct or weren't said exactly the way he intended. Those became issues because people saw those, read them as Sword-Saint being uneducated or even downright clueless, and responded in an honest way that then seemed harsh, as often the original poster wasn't aware he'd said anything "wrong."

I'm sorry if this is turning out to be a huge rant of something everyone's already figured out, but... I don't know. Maybe this was a pointless post. But I thought it worth my while to try to dissolve some of what turned into an argument, and I hope maybe I cleared something up for people. If not, sorry to waste your time, and I hope everything clears up on its own.
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