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Unread 11-29-2011, 09:51 PM   #20
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Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 1,223
Originally Posted by violetxhill View Post
Awesome. I need this.

I did a college history class this trimester and while I did my best I am going to pass with either a 69 or a 70 after getting an 82 on my final exam. The or is in there since I have a 69.92 and I am unsure if it will be rounded up or not. Anyway; I've never gotten this low of a grade. I want to tell my parents now before they get the report card now then just letting them see it; but I'm so scared about what will happen. I'm so disappointed in myself for not even getting a fucking C in a class that I loved so much. I feel like a failure to be quite frank. I'm not doing well in my Chemistry class either; I now have an 80 and with this final exam coming up... I just don't know. These classes have made me cry more than once and are the hardest, most frustrating things I have ever challenged myself in. I thought if I did my best I'd at least get an 85 in both classes... I guess my best wasn't good enough.

Earlier my Dad came in and was like "Your Christmas list is really reasonable, thanks for keeping it cheap." I feel so guilty, I don't deserve to get anything for Christmas, they're going to be so disappointed in me. They almost never tell me they're proud of me unless its my Dad at 1 am when he's had too many beers. I wish they would say it more often; but they never will. I'm a failure who's a shadow of my sister. I'll never be good enough for them and I hate myself for it.
Violet, I really want to gather you up and hug you forever. ;3;

My ranting: I swear, if I catch the person[s] that has been stealing my food in the community fridge, I will punch them in the face. I cannot even fathom why someone would want to eat half eaten pizza slices with the crusts littering the boxes. That's fucking nasty. I have considered spiking it with harmless substances [I'm sure it counts if it's harmless to me] including ex-lax for maximum embarrassment.

Part deux. I am so fucking tired of the fact that I have to use a cane to get around. I think it makes me look ugly, helpless, and approachable. A friend of mine even said that I "look like a completely normal person without it". I hate to take that to heart, but does that mean that I don't without it? I feel as if I was put into a situation where I had to flee, I would not be able to, so I generally live in fear of going to big cities at night without my trusty pocket knife/tazer/pepper spray.

People say shit's not done till it gets better, so I'm waiting on that.

/end venting
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