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Unread 08-29-2012, 06:08 PM   #3840
Kildread
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Join Date: Aug 2010
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kuroki-neko View Post
i know that, the things i say to comfort her about what she is worried about seems to go one ear and out the other . she just keeps bringing the same things up over and over even if we settle the matter.
That's distance and paranoia acting up, she has no idea other than your words about what you're up to when you aren't in contact with her. The words don't stick and (frankly) they might never will. I don't know what you call "settled", but those issues rarely get settled by a single talk, it tends to take more than that. She has to make the conscious decision to trust you --- even if it means exposing herself to the possibility of what she fears, that you're really just looking elsewhere all this time.

Like The Hag says, only you can decide when it's enough. The thing about relations is that it's dependent on mutual trust and it's really easy to get swept up in what your mind whispers to you. She might need to trust you more and you can help with that by setting time apart for her. Send something *physical* she can keep around, some folks deal with distance better with reminders that you're thinking of them.
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