The first part is a move I can see happening and have seen it done a couple of times before. But I don't understand the second move where you roll forward to unbalance her. There are four kinds of forward type kicks is martial arts being a front, side, round house, and back kick. Now I can see how any of these kicks can be intercepted and twisted off balance. But I'm having trouble imagining how you'd roll forward unbalancing them.
Of course this is just me as I don't understand what the second move is without seeing it. However if you work hard at it making it seem fluid, you can easily sell any fight scene.
Although I'd say be careful with the first move because I've seen a lot of people sprain their ankles like that due to not being synchronized with the person who is doing the twisting.
Is there any way you can post a video clip of your action skit? This way either I or someone else can give you the proper critique of what we see and possibly some suggestions to make it even more awesome.
I'd also question if you're going to use Ryoga's umbrella weapon.
When in doubt, just take the next small step.
With that next step take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
When the mind is calm you realize the best is still yet to come.