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Unread 01-17-2013, 04:51 PM   #63065
Lithium Flower
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Join Date: Jun 2009
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Fish-and-Chips-Yum View Post
Yes, I was given this huge packet about side effects and how sometimes the medicine will do the opposite of what it's supposed to... so I'm supposed to keep track of my moods in case I start to feel worse. I'm hoping that with some counseling and seeing a psychiatrist, they'll get me on the best mix of things to balance me out. It took my brother over two years to find the right combination of medicine and therapy for him, but since then he's been doing better than I've ever seen him.

As for the setting goals and points in time, I will definitely do that. At first I was adamantly against even going to school tomorrow, but the doctor says it's best if I ease myself back into it as soon as possible... and he's the professional, so I'm giving it a try. Today I went to the grocery store with my mom after my doctor's appointment, and it was a bit unnerving for me, but the place was nearly empty so I was alright. I don't really know why I suddenly don't to go anywhere, but oh well. I think I'll feel a bit better if I set time goals, at least it seems a lot less scary then going to school from noon to three.
That's good they gave you that, a lot of folks who have taken meds tell me that their doctors gave them no heads up and they had to search for their side-effect symptoms on their own. Then again, those clearly where not competent doctors so I am glad you found someone who works well with you.

Going back into the world after having something life changing happen can be weird and scary. When I first had my meeting with a school counselor who found out I was depressed and had self-harmed she had to walk me from the office to my class because it was a liability for me to be alone since I'd shown self-harm habits. It wasn't fun to have to go from counselor to counselor being told this and that from people who shouldn't have been working with me. (One guy claimed my angled bangs where me 'hiding my face' because of my anxiety. I just liked angled bangs...)

After I started seeing the child psychologist it felt like everyone in the world knew that I was going. Even if logically I knew there was no possible way for these people to know what I was doing I still convinced myself that people could 'tell' that I was seeing a doctor and thought I was a weirdo. But there is nothing to be guilty or ashamed of, even if someone does know what's happening. Mental illness doesn't make you a bad person or weird. If you where vomiting or had a serious illness you might not want to let people know you're throwing up all day or have the mudbutt but you aren't going to be ashamed of it right?

For me personally my whole experience with counselors and psychologists was VERY negative so it contributed to my feelings of anxiety and paranoia. Which where also fed by social anxiety disorder. So it just got out of hand for a while. What finally made me feel comfortable talking about it was years later coming to the realization that having a mental illness doesn't make me who I am; it isn't what defines me as a person. It's just one thing about me that I struggle with and that doesn't make me a bad person or weird. So if people know about my mental illness it isn't something I feel shameful about anymore.


Quote:
Originally Posted by penny_dreadful View Post
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