- I like the posing, the compositions, and the eye contact. I'm not familiar with that particular character, but it seems like both of you did a good job of portraying a cute but slightly bookish student type.
- Exposure is not too bad, maybe a bit overexposed in the third one. The skin seems to be appropriately exposed in all three, which is the most important thing. I usually like to overexpose portraits of women by about a third to half a stop, as it's an easy way to clean up minor skin imperfections and texture. However, in the third photo you're starting to lose detail in the top of the wig, and the blown highlights at the ceiling are more than a little distracting.
- Overall tonal contrast is a bit lacking for my personal taste. Blacks and darks are a little washed-out, so the overall image is lacking "pop." I'm on my crummy work laptop monitor right now so I can't really gauge white balance - it looks off but I know this monitor is severely off calibration.
- By far the biggest problem is lack of sharpness. Looks like you missed focus, or maybe had a smidge of camera shake? Especially in the first one, the eyes are very soft which is an absolute killer (and not the good kind) when it comes to portraiture. When you're using a wide aperture for a narrow DOF, it's very easy to miss focus on the eyes.
- If I had to nitpick, the wrinkles on her skirt in the third image are a little distracting.