I love to cosplay, but I don't like going to conventions?
... And it's pretty terrible.
Because of my acute anxiety, I lost the ability to leave go to conventions awhile ago. I was never very fond of them though, being extremely quiet and shy and never letting myself make any friends while at conventions for the constant fear and paranoia of them secretly judging me/hating me/whatever. While I'm at conventions I obviously get very nervous and tend to hold my friends back because I'm afraid to pose for pictures, go to any panels, or do just about anything that's fun. The last time I went to a convention (two years ago), I made my friend sit on a bench with me for hours because I was too afraid to move.
I love cosplaying. I love cosplaying and I love being able to dress up and take pictures for myself, but I feel terrible about wasting so much money on things I'll never be able to show other people and go have fun with.
I want to go back to conventions and try to have fun there because I'm jealous of my friends that can do such things, and they're all very supportive of me, but I'm just wondering if there is anybody else who likes to cosplay but doesn't like/chooses not to go to conventions? I feel like such a minority, haha!!
I'm also sorry if this was completely misplaced, gaaaaah.