Wow, am I ever late in replying to all of this. Let me try and correct myself a little here. When I asked for help in putting together a Sebastian cosplay I loved him to bits and pieces, and I had legitimately seen all of the Black Butler anime and read most of the manga (although I hadn't found much of the online stuff). I think what's getting me is the emotional connection to this costume - I SHOULD be excited that I can finally wear it, but instead I'm just deflated and I just can't figure that out. It ties into a really let down feeling I get from my friend who helped me with it (I won't get long winded about it, but that's where the whole personal emotional pain putting this together comes in). There's also just the fact of the matter that as the series continues on I am kindling love for other characters, aside from being on the vicious and violent side, Undertaker matches my personality better than any other character I've chosen to cosplay before, and so I'd really like to have an "easy" time of things as it were in regards to the people who think the "PLAY" aspect of cosplay is super important. Most of the time the characters I choose are not only opposite to me in gender, but opposite to me in personality as well... I'm getting tired of it.
Sebastian is legitimately still one of my favourite characters in the Black Butler series though, don't get me wrong... I've just gotta get myself geared up for Sakura Con and tell remind myself that when I'm around the rest of my fandom I'll forget this drama-lama s*** and have a good time.
"It's amazing what a performer will do when the camera is rolling... it's probably a psychiatric illness!"