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Unread 11-29-2003, 12:26 AM   #11
LunarYoma
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Join Date: Sep 2003
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BIOJECT
I've been spending months trying to enlighten my friends that crossplaying is awesome and that it takes balls to dress up as the opposite sex. They reply that they still won't hang with me during the expo and that I still would be gay. Now I really don't want any offense taken from this topic because I have no problem with gays. It's just... well... every guy I've seen on this board who does crossplay is and well it doesn't help when your trying to get your friends to support you for doing something out of the ordinary.
It seems to be that your socalled "friends" are bigoted & homophobic. If your 'friends' think anyone who is different is gay, then what someone despises the most they are most likely are to be.

I wouldnt call the 'friends' you got here friends at all. A friend is suppose to be there for you & back you up no matter what happens.


No person can just suddenly become gay. You cannot suddenly change who you are attracted to at the drop of a hat. You either are gay or you are not.


Guys who try to be hyper masculine are trying to hide something or make up for something.
All humans display masculine & feminine traits. some display more of one that the other.
Western society has come to the point where society trys to fit all males with nothing but masculine traits & as uncaring, unfeeling throwbacks of our ancestors(ie cave men). All of the males who feel that they must hide something(a weakness they see in themselves) tend to become over/hyper masculine in an attempt to hide what they see as weaknesses. This trend has been carried on for decades where little boys are indocrinated to think that displaying any emotions at all(like love, feeling, crying, etc..) is a sign of weakness & attributed to them being girls.

Attributing males to open displays of feelings is severly punished(peer pressure) by the other males around them. If the lone males carries on with displaying feelings, they are seen as being a girl or being gay. Most learn to control their feelings to show the minimal amount of feelings to fit in.

The womens movement has been extremely successful here in america(but it still gots a long ways to go). Men do not think much about girls displaying alot of masculine traits. They are seen as tomboys. They can wear what ever they want, but if a man happens decide to wear a dress cause he likes it, most of the males react:Oh no watch out, he's becoming gay. We better go beat his ass to teach him a lesson so he doesnt act like a girl.



Because of all this shit happening i was set back emotionally by at least 10 years. Growing up I hated sports. The only thing i was good at(& had interest in) was volley ball, but my high school didnt have a mens volley ball team. So sports for me was out of the picture. When i was a teenager i was emotionally retarded till i was about 18. Only friend i truly could call a friend was my cousin( & we had each other backs no matter what happened. we fought like hell till i was about 15, but if you fucked with one of us you had to deal with the other.), i had absolute zero social skills around girls & around guys my social skills were slightly better(but still sucked). I never had any girls for friends growing up, i only made friends with the boys

My social ability improved greatly when i was 18. Upto this point i hade been in contact with a girl over e-mail & the phone for about 3 years before we even met face to face. When we did finally meet, because we already formed an emotional bond to one another, we hooked up & i had my first GF. We went out for about 9 months & then she moved away. This incident in itself proved a wonderfull ego boost in my self confidence.

A couple of weeks later another girl found interest in me. she said i was cute. it sucked cause she was 15 & i was 19 at the time. Major Jail Bait. Over the corse of the next 3 months, i was finally blomising emotionally & i became friends with a girl. She lived 5 houses away from me & we went to all the same schools since first grade. I was falling in love with her & then it was time for my senior graduation from high school. Then she moved away which sucked.

Growing up i was a very with drawn person & had trouble making friends. Only reason me & my cousin have each other backs(ie what best friends are suppose to do) growing up is because we are blood kin, if it wasnt for him i wound have been more lonely that what i was growing up. Im surprised that i was never depressed, or suicidal at all growing up. My child hood was ok, & my teenage years were ok. not great, just ok.

Today i still have massive trouble making friends with women. Only way i have been able to acomplish any long lasting friend ships with women at all is because of the internet.

I have concluded that if i was in a more of an open environment growing up(ie where the displaying of feelings was ok & i wouldnt have suffered from displaying my feeling by the commonality of peer pressure of the other boys), then i could have had a little more selfconfidence & a much much higher self asteem in myself in my teenager years.


Right now i am just starting to display my feelings out open in public view & i am 24 years old now. The only reason it is happening now is because of the death of a good friend about 10 months ago who i worked with. I have come to consider him like he was family to me. His death jolted me somewhat out of my shell.

Through out all this(ie having trouble dealing with girls & only making friends with males) i never once was attracted to men at all. Right now i am getting my own sense of style in what i like to wear, taking care of myself physically(eating right, staying healthy, etc...). I have always been attracted to girls since well before i went through puberty.

I did my first crossplay 3 months ago ( http://images.cosplay.com/showphoto....t=500 &page=1 ) & the feeling i got was extremely...liberating. I then decided to do something else for halloween ( http://images.cosplay.com/showphoto....t=500 &page=1 ) & i loved every minute. I even got mistaken for a woman by alot of people on halloween. i didnt even think i would even pass remotely, but i did to alot of people. I had this as an alternate costume for halloween( http://images.cosplay.com/showphoto....t=500 &page=1 more pics in my gallery) but i didnt wear it.




I try to be androgenous in my appearance. Emotionally my masculine traits are not very strong(but threaten me or my family & i become extremely agressive & dominate) & have not been since i was born, my feminine traits(displaying emotions & saying to yourself it is ok to feel & not to be an emotionless drone) are now only coming to the surface.

Right now i am mostly satisfied with myself now. Feeling sexy(& even having people say i look sexy) when i crossplay is an awsome ego boost for me. I love it & will continue to crossplay in the future for as long as i can. It sure is hell alot of more fun than cosplaying male characters.

Just because i like feminine things, or display my emotions, does no way in hell make me gay(ie attracted to males). I find nothing attractive about a guy looking like a wookie naked or them sweating & not keeping themselves clean. The Fat hairy beer belly guys are a worse turn off than the skinny guys or weight lifters.

Right now I see myself as being mentally & emotionally superior to just about every single guy i come across. Most of the guys i know are very masculine to hyper masculine, practically uncaring to those around them. I see those types of guys as throwbacks to a bygone era.

I wish the world was full of men who could openly display their emotions in public like women do, then maybe the world would be a better place. Homophobia then would surely be a thing of the past.
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Lunar Yoma

Ours is the Wisdom of Solomon,The Magic of Merlin,The Fall of Icarus. From Countless Ages We Have Beckoned, From Infinite choices We Have Suffered. The World Chokes Under Stifling Conformity, Hopes Crumble in the Fire of Mediocrity, Heroes Die in the Snare of Pride. Armaggeddon is at Hand. Reality is a Lie. The Truth is Magic. Open Your Eyes and Awaken.
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