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Unread 12-02-2011, 11:44 AM   #48
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 2,557
Originally Posted by Flora88 View Post
There are no opportunities to do what I want to do here in Louisiana.
I can only be a receptionist or work in retail, and that's pretty much it. I could potentially do technical writing for an oil company, but I hate it so much.

It's becoming increasingly obvious that I'm going to have to move to NYC to work for a publisher. I applied to Knopf Doubleday today, and I fit every. single. requirement. I don't even know how I'd feel if I got it.
But I have no money for an apartment when I GET to NYC, and my boyfriend works here in Shreveport. I don't know what to do.
I love him very much, but I feel like I've given up my own dreams so he can work in news.

And I...don't want to be a receptionist!
It's not that I think being a receptionist is beneath me or something, it's that I know exactly what I want to do, and have wanted it since I was twelve. I want to work in book publishing. If I take a receptionist job, it won't lead anywhere that I want to go.

I'm sick of being limited by where I live. Especially since I know of twelve different job openings in publishing houses in NYC that I can apply for RIGHT NOW. There is nothing for me here.
I don't know what to do.

Sorry to be so whiny today.
I can relate. There's not a lot of opportunity here in Halifax either. I'm considering going into fashion design as a career, but I'm not sure if I can make a living off of it, given that my tastes (and designs) are not strictly mainstream. I know there's not much room here in Halifax, and I would have a better chance of finding my niche in NYC. But not only is there the high cost of living to contend with, for me there is also emigration, which is NOT easy, apparently.

There's also the worry that going back to school may do me no good, leaving me no better off than before. I end up being unable to make a living, working the same dead end job as before, only now being deep in student loan debt. I don't want to spend my life sitting on one jobsite after another, a glorified watcher-in-the-dark. I don't want my entire life to be lived in darkness, loneliness, and shadows. I live so much of my life, nowhere, literally in dark. I've got an active brain, it wasn't meant for just sitting on empty jobsites for hours at a time, staring into space. Seriously, my company boss has even made noise about forbidding guards to read books on duty, even when there is nothing else to do. Fuck. How do I get out of a life that's turned into a pathetic study in underachievement?
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