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Unread 04-18-2011, 04:57 PM   #1
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Do you have to be so positive?

Ok so it has been a little while since I have clogged up the forum, and thanks to it coming up to Easter I am kinda busy at work, so I am going to repost a journal that I did at the start of April, and ask you all for imput:

Do you have to be so positive?
Posted by Jothalion on 04-08-2011 - 08:02 AM

I have received a pm from someone, I shall not name names as it doesn't matter who it was that is not the important part of this little post.

So the whole point of the pm was this person was asking me if I had to be so positive when commenting on peoples pictues.

'How come you always say costumes are so amazing' & 'you use the word wow far too much' & 'you never offer any comments about why the costume is good or it would seem to me that you never find anything wrong or bad about peoples costumes, this doesn't help anyone'

So I shall use this, my little piece of, to answer the above.....

Are there costumes that I do not like? no, but there are costumes that do not appeal to me, but why on earth would I tell a person that? They didn't make that costume for me, they made it for themselves and if they are happy with it and they have got enjoyment out of it then it has served the purpose for which it was made (or bought).

I cannot make a costume to save my life, I am not going to be telling anyone that they did this wrong or they did that wrong, as far as I am concerned just being able to sew is an amazing talent. I leave suggestions on how to better do something to those that have the skill and talent to, I am looking at costumes as a nonskilled person who loves costumes.

next there is enough negativity in this world, I don't want to add to it, I want to say thank you for making me smile to those that have, I want to acknowldge those costumes that I personally think are brilliant, and sometimes the best way that I can think of saying that is by simply going wow! (or as in some cases WOW!!)

Finally to wrap this up, (and this will probably really annoy my friendly pmer), I want to thank anyone who has ever done cosplay, no matter if your costume took hours and hours to make or it was a last minute throw together, it is cosplayers who for me are a huge part of cons and I love to see each and everyone of you.

So my questions to all of you that can be bothered answering is this, is it annoying to just have someone say amazing or wow or what ever without giving reasons why? do you agree with anything the my pmer has said to me? Can a person be too positive to the point of it being unhelpful?
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Unread 04-18-2011, 05:27 PM   #2
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What the heck? Age old saying 'if you have nothing nice to say, don't say it at all'

I am quite sure no-one that you have commented on has said 'wow you're being too positive, shut up' etc Unless someone has specifically asked "can you please give me constructive criticism on my costume" then of course saying "wow awesome" will not help, however that doesn't hurt. Forget about it Jothalion, not worth the time.
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Unread 04-18-2011, 06:06 PM   #3
That's right, worship me.
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What a horrible person to be upset by your positive attitude! O_O

I'll share a really sad story that happened to me a few years ago... I was a fan of a girl who drew beautiful pictures. I'd actually been sent some of them to take a look through, and I delayed my reply to her for a couple of days... and when I actually did get around to writing, I'd found out during those few days, she'd been killed.

I can never let her know how much I appreciated her work now, and it is a regret I will carry with me forever.

So yes, when you like someone's work, tell them! Be it one word or an essay, for the love of god, TELL THEM!!! In a world full of hatred, it's nice to hear that there is someone who appreciates you.
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Unread 04-18-2011, 08:17 PM   #4
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@Mel & Sassy - I love you guys for your attitudes so much Mel that is both a sad story and a beautiful one, you are right and it is what I think as well. You just don't know when something could happen, don't leave people wondering what you think esp when you like something they have done.
So in the spirt of that, you two rock my world, I love you comments, I love your costumes, and on a totally superfically level you are both very beautiful women as well
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Unread 04-19-2011, 03:03 AM   #5
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Well some people actually want constructive criticism rather then sugar coated compliments. They want to know how they are seen from other eyes.

It's a bit like the break up excuse of "It's not you, it's me" or "I really like you but I think we should be friends, I'll call you sometime & we can hang out" then never ever call again. Most people never actually believe that so I guess some people might not think you're being genuine & are just complimenting out of lip service.
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Unread 04-19-2011, 04:02 AM   #6
An utter Parasmore ;p
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That is just.... ridiculous!!!!! >< HOW can one be too positive?

Maybe this person only wants to hear about what they can do to improve their costume, but for others, often a little 'Woah!' or 'Great job!' is enough because it says that you like their cosplay or something.

It's just that a lot of people want to know why you like it~ it doesnt hurt to say nice comments (duh xD) but some people just wont believe it 'til they see it, or in this case, hear it. (if that made any sense to you xD)
The greatest thing you'll ever learn, is just to love, and to be loved in return.
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Unread 04-19-2011, 04:33 PM   #7
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@han & Rino - thank you, you both bring up very valid points, I had not thought about the fact that people might think I am just saying things for the sake of saying things. Paying lip service as you put it han.

Also I would like to thank you both for joining in on posts that I have put up, I really appreciate that you do take the time to answer and you both have brought good things to the table.

Love ya both
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Unread 04-20-2011, 11:35 AM   #8
I know Oyashiro-sama..
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haha, you love a crossdressing male
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Unread 04-21-2011, 01:11 AM   #9
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There are many forms of love, not all of them are sexual.
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Unread 04-21-2011, 06:47 PM   #10
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I think there can never be too much postitive-ness (I know it sounds kinda funny...:P)
I mean wouldn't you guys prefer more happy stuff than negative? I know I would!

I think is nice to comment on some ones cosplay/crossplay and just say "I really like your costume" or a simple "GREAT JOB!!^ ^" Thats how I comment.

I think it would mean be to say to some one "Oh Your cosplay looks nothing like it, its not the right colour or patten. Come back when it looks right." Because that would hurt their feelings (I know it would hurt mine...) And I guess I'm the kind of person who would like to make everyone happy.

I also can't sew to save my life ha ha^ ^; I tryed once and kinda sewed part of it to my bed sheet...opps. But any way since I suck at sewing I look up to though of you who can, and I wanna tell you guys on how good your costume is. So I comment on them to show what I think. I have never written a negitaive one, yet!

So Jothalion, it doesn't matter if that person thinks your "to positive" just be yourself and keep on being positive!

Okay sorry for blabing on and on here...I'll go away nao...^ ^;
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Unread 04-21-2011, 07:54 PM   #11
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Been trying to think of a way to reply, because it can be a minefield talking about criticism or lack of

Personally I like to give compliments with a reason behind it, I like that sort myself But I would never ever try to make everyone interact the way I do! I take it upon myself to understand where a comment is going from and the meaning behind it.

It's lovely that there are people who are genuinely impressed by work that goes into cosplay Or any work anyone does. I tend to use the word "awesome" a lot in judging contests because I am always impressed when people do attempt something difficult. It may not always be an awesome result but the effort always is
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Unread 04-29-2011, 03:18 PM   #12
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To me they seem a bit up them selves to me you always got something good to say Jothalion i havent met anyone who likes criticism
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