Regarding the Fatty-Chan comments: That started when I was still hugely into Lolita, around the mid 2000s. It's actually not intended as a pejorative. With that said, intent is not magic, and I understand how someone could be angered by it.
Also, as many Lolitas that walk around in homemade and off-brand crap? People should know not to bitch. What matters most of all is that the outfit is well-made and uses quality materials. Lolita is an expensive fashion, and not everyone works/is wealthy/has a sugardaddy to pay for those things. You have to know how to budget. If Lolita is outside of your budget, don't worry about brand or what some stupid little bint is going to say about you. They likely won't have the nerve to say it to your face. Hint - if you use cheap lace, regardless of the brand/lack thereof, you will be mocked. And considering that Lolita is basically a fashion where it consists of a lot of women and good amounts of money, you'll come across snobs and drama.