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Unread 12-27-2012, 08:43 PM   #16
Evig Vinter
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I was at a concert the other day and I saw someone walk up the theatre isle in a magnificent costume that was beautifully executed. I wasn't sure if they were a part of the show (As it was the San Francisco Gay Men's Chorus, and they often have drag queens on stage for the performance), and I definitely wasn't going to risk embarrassing myself by saying something stupid. I thought through what I was going to say, and decided that I was going to go up to them and say, "I absolutely adore what you're wearing, and your makeup is just stunning! I'm not entirely sure why you are wearing what you are wearing, or what it is you're supposed to be wearing, but I'm a costumer and I am in love with everything about you tonight."

Unfortunately, I didn't get the chance to speak to them, but it did make me think about how touchy the subject of gender is, and not only when it comes to cosplay and costumes. Therefore, I believe the best way to compliment anyone on how they look (not just someone you think is crossdressing/crossplaying) is to focus on what they are wearing, not who they are, or even who they are trying to be.
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Unread 01-06-2013, 07:46 PM   #17
ChillyCircle
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TenTigerLilies View Post
I will generally just tell them I like their costume, and that they make a good -whatever character.-

Once, there was a female cosplaying Finn from Adventure Time, and when I referred to her as a he -- because I thought she was a he -- she freaked out and starting telling me how rude that was.

Though, frankly it irks me that people are like that. I'm a crossplayer myself. In some of my costumes, I legitimately look like a male. And then, in others, I look like a female in a male costume. And in either of those situations, if I'm referred to as a he, I really couldn't give a damn. It's not an insult; I would think that, if anything, it's a compliment. You did a good job. It's not like you're forced to cosplay someone; you're knowingly dressing up as someone of the opposite gender, so you don't need to get your panties in a wad if you're a girl and someone refers to you as if you're a boy, or vice versa.

Yeah. I would think that if you're crossplaying you would be happy to be told you look like the gender you were attempting. I would be ecstatic if people told me I looked like a boy if I was crossplaying! It means I did it right!
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Unread 01-06-2013, 07:59 PM   #18
Larcenciel
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Alice MacLeod View Post
Well if someone said to me you look like a girl I would take it as a huge compliment as a MtF transgender that is the primary goal. It is a difficult road I and many others like me face but cosplay makes it that much easier for us and if anyone complimented me in that way its like a huge confidence boost which is badly needed in a world of hate
You and me both. Agreed 100%, since I am TG too.
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Unread 01-06-2013, 08:44 PM   #19
TeaForThought
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Ah....I can agree...to most of this...but...in one aspect I will disagree.

The feeling of pulling off the opposite gender can be very satisfying. It means you've "done it right" or however you want to put it. Me personally, being able to pull off a female is a little awkward but...it works.

It's when people naturally assume the incorrect gender and feel it's necessary to argue with you over it that that I start to take issue. Why people have to challenge you over something that really isn't any of their business is rude and uncalled for. But I'm going off on a tangent..sorry.
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Unread 01-07-2013, 01:11 AM   #20
SirWonderusMary
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ilafatyu View Post
I'm with Alice. If I'm crossplaying and you use a male pronoun, I might be surprised, but I will pretty much glow for the rest of the day.

More on topic, I wouldn't appreciate it if someone complimented my binding or told me they like my mustache. Just say that you love the costume or that the person makes a great -whatever- and not mention that someone is crossplaying unless they bring it up.
Funny enough, as "casual" Tony Stark someone came up to me and put their finger close to my face, and said they we're just checking to see if the length was legit or something along those lines. That was weird, but then they gave me a few pointers to help out. So, I'm taking it as both really? I have no idea. Onto the topic of cross-dressing: I would be flattered if you called me by male pronouns when seeing me. But I'm the top of person who doesn't mind you using the character's gender for me, but I'm questioning my gender anyway so that doesn't help my opinion much on this topic. But as I cross-player I do hope you felt the need to compliment the costume/how much I looked like said character instead of something like flattened chests, or anything weird like that.
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Unread 01-11-2013, 01:33 PM   #21
Alice MacLeod
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I just want to be me. Is that too much to ask? I know the Lolita stuff might be a bit out of my age league but I was also raised like a Lolita and was forced to be male at age 12 after spending 12 years of my life as a female so a bit part of me is stuck at that age, wishing I was never pulled away and forced into the so called reality and normality of what society demanded. It was not fair on me. I have spent my entire life fighting that which I was never meant to be and this is my third and final time coming out. This time I will be me or I will not be. it is as simple as that. Cosplay has for the first time in my life let me be who I was meant to be.
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Unread 01-11-2013, 09:48 PM   #22
kidcyco
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I personally would treat a f>m crossplayer to a certain extent as a male unless the player said otherwise.If the crossplayer was a m>f I would treat them as a lady unless told otherwise.Because from what I understand so far is that its not just dressing the role but getting into the persona of the char.
I tried one board before this one and was ridiculed because I said a m>f crossplayer looked cute and could pass as a real female.
Just have fun andenjoy what you do
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