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[peacelovepandas]

Hey guys,

I have been thinking about doing the hole lolita-lifestyle thing. I love lolita too much to just wear my dresses and wigs to cons. I know it isn't really accepted in American society, but I am going to try anyway.

But anyway, I was reading up on some lolita makeup tips, and came across a few blogs where people were dissing cosplayers who wear lolita to cons or else try to pull off the lolita lifestyle thing. Comments were made about how "cosplayers who think they know lolita are just annoying" and how we should "leave the lolita lifestyle to the real lolitas ". (I was going to link to the blogs but i really don't want to start a massive flame war).

My question is; how many peple agree that lolitais for everyone, and how many think it should be left to the people who dedicate their lives to it?

I know I opened up a controversial subject, but please try to remain cival and no flaming. Please.

[Larcenciel]

People take life FAR too seriously. It's sad really. If you like it and want to do it, do it. If it harms no one in any way at all, where is the problem? People need to grow up and stop thinking they have a say in other people's lives. I have an uncle who does this to me all the time. I want to kick the shit out of him.

[Ninbri]

I personally don't like Lolita, but honestly your free to do whatever you like. I guess people should only let the REAL cosplayers go to cons.

[esclarmonde]

There's no rule about "you have to be a lifestyle lolita to be a true lolita!" and I like it that way.

I can't wear lolita on my job (we have a strict dress code), so it's something I can wear on weekends/vacation only. I can't be a full-time lolita, even if I wanted to.

I think there's nothing wrong with wearing it at cons only, there can be a lot of reasons (and being shy/ fearing that it'd be too "strange" outside of an enviroment like the con's one is a good one); even if it's done "costume-like", as a special dress or to feel different for a day, I think it's ok as long as one thakes time to research, learn the guidelines and what's not appropriate and doesn't go around saying "this is lolita/lolita inspired!" when it's not, but I think these are common sense things.

[emmisu]

Well, think about halloween. You can be a firefighter/cat/ninja/etc for a day. It's a costume. We're not only letting REAL sexy nurses be sexy nurses, we're not making it so only REAL clowns can be clowns. There's even nerd costumes, sports player costumes, etc.

It's a costume. A costume means masquerading as something you're not. That's the entire point. If you want to dress Lolita for a day, then do it. If instead, you want to dedicate your life or a few days a week to it, go for it!

If you're worried about being accepted, people will find something to judge no matter what you wear. If you're worried about the community shunning you?
Well they all had to start sometime, right? Being stuck up and elitist about they way they dress isn't going to help their group win friends and influence people to love and accept the lolita lifestyle in the mainstream.
Also, there are always two sides to any community: people who suck and people who are kind. Get involved with the kind ones.

Basically, don't let people tell you you don't belong. Nobody was born lolita, they all had to learn through practice. You are no different and they should expect nothing higher of you.

[esclarmonde]

Originally Posted by emmisu

If you're worried about being accepted, people will find something to judge no matter what you wear. If you're worried about the community shunning you?
Well they all had to start sometime, right? Being stuck up and elitist about they way they dress isn't going to help their group win friends and influence people to love and accept the lolita lifestyle in the mainstream.

This. I was lucky enough to find a very nice Italian community when I got interested, and even if I made mistakes they were pointed out kindly and the older members helped me to become better at it by giving me advice, websites, pictures, chatting with me, guinding me throught the learning process.

I only lurk EGL on livejournal because a lot (not everyone, there are great people too) of the lolitas there only say "That's wrong!/That's not lolita!" without the helping part, expecting that new lolitas learn everything by them selves. While it's true that nowadays there are a lot of well-done and simple guides online, having a real person that can help and explain directly is invaluable.

[Shana05]

They are probably talking about people who believe lolita is a costume and not a fashion. These people often wear Milanoo stuff made from cheap, shiny costume satin and it just looks terrible. Personally, I wouldn't insult these people but if they really want to wear lolita, they sure need some guidance.

But yes, anyone can be a lolita. They just need to learn what does and doesn't qualify.

[JasonTerror]

Originally Posted by emmisu

Well, think about halloween. You can be a firefighter/cat/ninja/etc for a day. It's a costume. We're not only letting REAL sexy nurses be sexy nurses, we're not making it so only REAL clowns can be clowns. There's even nerd costumes, sports player costumes, etc.

It's a costume. A costume means masquerading as something you're not. That's the entire point. If you want to dress Lolita for a day, then do it. If instead, you want to dedicate your life or a few days a week to it, go for it!

If you're worried about being accepted, people will find something to judge no matter what you wear. If you're worried about the community shunning you?
Well they all had to start sometime, right? Being stuck up and elitist about they way they dress isn't going to help their group win friends and influence people to love and accept the lolita lifestyle in the mainstream.
Also, there are always two sides to any community: people who suck and people who are kind. Get involved with the kind ones.

Basically, don't let people tell you you don't belong. Nobody was born lolita, they all had to learn through practice. You are no different and they should expect nothing higher of you.

Sorry but I need to chime in on this post..No lolita is NOT a costume..It is a fashon style. It is meant to be worn as fashion, not only to cons and halloween. I really wish people would read more about the things they are talking about before they say things..EVERY site I have ever visited explaining lolita has specifically in BOLD CAPS said "IT'S NOT A COSTUME!!" So please do your research

I see pics on girls (and some guys) in Japan that wear this every day because they are still young and don't need to worry about what to wear to work yet.

But Lifestyle means in your life, you wear it a lot..Not every second of the day..It means you really like it and want to wear it out or just sitting at home..Wearing work clothes to work doesn't mean you can't say you're not a lifestyle lolita..Like, I can say I'm a lifestyle guitar player because I play every chance I get, but I can;t bring it to work right? That doesn't make it NOT my lifestyle..

Anyway, wear it. It doesn't matter if it's not normal here, that's what makes it BETTER. The normal is boring, go out and make people double take. It's fun..

[TeaForThought]

I'd wear my lolita clothes more often but...alas, as a guy, it's not always accepted....and it certainly isn't always accepted in the EGL community either.

If you're really serious about it, do your research and find and join or even start your own lolita group. They're a great way to be able to enjoy your fashion more often than just at conventions and from what I've heard, you can do things like swap meets, tea parties and other outings.

I'd have to say go for it, people are going to look at you funny if you do anything out of the ordinary anyway; so why not just do what you enjoy?

[Moonsong]

In my experience, you will encounter very few people in the real world who believe that lolita is only meant for "lifestyle lolitas". A lot of anonymous trolls like to try and rile people up by making claims like that, but the majority of lolitas do not believe that to be the case. Most of us work real jobs in order to pay our bills and to fund our fashion - jobs at which lolita is often not allowed. Sure, if you find a job where you're allowed to wear lolita...That's awesome, but the reality is that most people can't be dressed in lolita every minute of every day.

I personally wear lolita out shopping, to meetups, or to events, but never around the house. I have many pets and many chores to take care of when I am at home, so I am always chic in my pajamas and t-shirt when I'm home. :P

[Kaliza]

Well personally I can't wear lolita all the time, and if people want to complain about people because they don't wear it as their main fashion, it's kinda their problem not mine. There are several reason I can't, for one I can't afford to wear my lolita clothes all the time because I can't afford a big wardrobe full of them and so I only have a small amount of them and unless I want to wear the same thing every day, that won't work. There are other reasons as well, I can't wear it to work, or school (there are dress codes in the Biology labs) or volunteering(again, dress codes--plus the shelter dogs would wreck it!) and I have problems with my feet so I can't wear lolita shoes if I will be walking a lot or I will be hurting...

Also if people are only comfortable wearing lolita at cons, who cares? Why does that bother anyone?

[Alice MacLeod]

Well I wear Victorian clothing 24/7. It is my choice. I like it. This doesn't mean I will wear big hoop dresses on public transit but I will wear respectable neo Victorian Gothic most of the time. I grew up wearing what some call Lolita style. Nice dresses to the knees, tights, Mary Jane shoes. It is not a costume it is what it is. But I also wont get all narcissistic about how the look is and is not Lolita either. Nobody has the right to tell me what is correct and what is not. That is why I am mostly into steampunk and Victorian but Lolita is Victorian era based too. We all have our thing and anyone that takes it so seriously that they have to demeanor others just to say they are not correct in the style needs a life. I got enough of that behavior from the SCA which are often hypocrites when it comes to accuracy, yet make their stuff using modern tools. I spent 5 years as a living historian and even though it was a job I never made it my life. Lolita is just a style like any other style. You make it what it is. If you like wearing that who has the right to say you cant? or that its not proper?

[Moonsong]

The main thing about lolita is not that you have to wear it all the time, but more that you have to follow certain aesthetics ( which isn't all that hard once you get used to the fashion. ) For example, you need to wear a petticoat to give it that distinct bell shape. Your dress should be made out of nice materials, and not costume satin, etc. If you change it TOO much, it ends up not looking like lolita at all. Its kind of like someone throwing on An outfit from Hollister, dying their hair black and trying to say they are dressing goth.

While I am sure there are some lolitas who think that everyone should be wearing a pink dress with a cute animal bag while wearing the same blonde twintail wig...Most of us enjoy and encourage variety in the fashion. (For example, wearing faux fur with lolita used to be seen as kind of tacky, but now it has become a rather popular trend. Some of the biggest brands are making fur capes/collars now. The fashion has changed quite a lot over the years, but the basics are still the same.