Go Back   Cosplay.com > Off-Topic Chat > General Off-Topic Forum

Reply
Thread Tools Rate Thread
Unread 05-11-2013, 07:22 PM   #16
Arc_The_Lad
of Daventry
 
Arc_The_Lad's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Posts: 6,567
Fine, you are, you want to be sad, go ahead, other people gave you great advice and you dismissed it, they were willing to put the effort forward, why can't you?
Arc_The_Lad is offline   Reply With Quote
 
Unread 05-11-2013, 08:49 PM   #17
CosplayJelly
The Greatest Jelly
 
CosplayJelly's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 685
Kildread They can, and do in my case. I want to be beautiful. Anything less than that and i will never be happy with myself.
__________________
Finished cosplays in need of fixing~
blue exorcist rin- new wig needed
FUTURECOSPLAYS~
psycho pass ginoza 95% making dominator
amnesia orion- 95% elf ear making
Annie (attack on titan) 80% dying/making 3d gear
Conventions~
OtakonAnime USAKatsucon!
CosplayJelly is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 05-11-2013, 08:52 PM   #18
CosplayJelly
The Greatest Jelly
 
CosplayJelly's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 685
I don't want to be sad, its just that advice will never change what I look like.
__________________
Finished cosplays in need of fixing~
blue exorcist rin- new wig needed
FUTURECOSPLAYS~
psycho pass ginoza 95% making dominator
amnesia orion- 95% elf ear making
Annie (attack on titan) 80% dying/making 3d gear
Conventions~
OtakonAnime USAKatsucon!
CosplayJelly is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 05-11-2013, 09:01 PM   #19
Kildread
I can fix it!
 
Kildread's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 7,331
Quote:
Originally Posted by CosplayJelly View Post
They can, and do in my case. I want to be beautiful. Anything less than that and i will never be happy with myself.
I guess you need to start working on that. I don't think you've got a healthy mindset on this --- but that's something only you can realize and fix.

Quote:
Originally Posted by CosplayJelly View Post
its just that advice will never change what I look like.
Then why did you post this thread? The only thing anybody here can do is provide advice, which we've done :/
Kildread is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 05-11-2013, 09:34 PM   #20
belligerent
Viking Metal
 
belligerent's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 2,051
Quote:
Then why did you post this thread?
Well, since none of us have told her "omg u look fine and are beautiful honeycakes!!!!," and have given advice on how to be happy with who you are, etc, I'm going to assume it was for some kind of affirmation. OP is free to deny this.
__________________
Dudes I am sometimes: Sweden, Sweden (mafia version), Metal!Sweden, Austria, Austria (Inappropriate For Children version), Lithuania, Lithuania (mafia version), Poland, Turkey (mafia version), England, Equius, biker!Equius, PT!Stud!Germany, Tony Stark, Netherlands, Reiner Braun, Rei Ryuugazaki
Dudes I will be eventually: Genjyo Sanzo, Wolverine, Turkey, Denmark
belligerent is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 05-11-2013, 10:52 PM   #21
PSY-chan
Arrogant Ignoramus
 
PSY-chan's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 2,039
Quote:
Originally Posted by CosplayJelly View Post
. I want to be beautiful. Anything less than that and i will never be happy with myself.
Or so you assume.

If you're old enough to get plastic surgery, and you think it will make you happy, do your research. Perhaps it will make you happy. Perhaps it won't be enough. I happen to be a fan of strong noses. But I don't think my lonely opinion is going to change your mind.

My biggest concern, is that your ego seems frail. What happens if you get surgery, and some one comments on another body part? Do you think you'll fall into the trap of "I need to fix this too!"? Will you be able to ignore those internal and external voices?

The Internet seems to breed interesting forms of narcissism and self doubt. Don't base your self worth on the opinions of people who don't have your best interests at heart. And talk to your mom about her own self doubts. She may be projecting those onto you.
PSY-chan is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 05-12-2013, 03:41 AM   #22
Kelley
Devil of Details
 
Kelley's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 5,304
Plastic surgery can take many months to show results - it's not going to even look good at first and may in fact look worse. This is why I worry when I person who has poor self-esteem wants to go for it - because it's not going to be what you want right away and it's going to look bad, feel bad, and it might not even turn out how you wanted and you might suffer complications. My friend went through some serious doubt after a surgery that healed much faster than a rhinoplasty would and she was very prepared for it - the lack of results and looking worse at first can be crushing even if you know it's going to be that way.

My mom didn't tell me I needed I nose job, but she did offer to pay for it if that's what I wanted and told me she could understand why I felt that way. I'm still glad I didn't do it. My friend is glad she had her surgery - but we talked about it about her feelings about why she wanted it and she considered it deeply. I feel like the medical establishment is really letting people down with their double standards - if you want to look more like the popular culture says you should you will be given surgery without question - but if you want to look a different way you are subjected to months of therapy and jumping through hoops. I think it would be best if everyone went for a middle ground and did a few sessions of therapy before surgery. It doesn't mean a person is "crazy" or anything, but with so many people struggling with these issues it's not fair to just take their money without considering if it's really the best for them. I know doctors try, but ultimately they need to make money and they have their hands tied to some extent by what is expected of them within our culture. My friend and I talked about that exact topic and how she was a little disturbed that they weren't really going to ask her if she was sure she was doing what was best for her and I'm glad that she took it upon herself to go through those thoughts on her own.

Another friend has parents who tell them they're too fat and have tried to force them to diet and go to "fat camp" and all sorts of things. And no fucking shit it messed them up and made them feel horrible about themselves. But they're recovering and discovering what they find is important to themselves - their life is not lived for their parents or their parents' definition of what is beautiful or what a person needs to look like in order to be good and valuable to the world.

I know your pictures are flattering because everyone tries to take flattering pictures for the most part - but it's simply not possible that you're actually hideously deformed - you can't hide THAT much just with camera angles and while I don't want to offend you I do think that your self image is genuinely delusional. And that's not a bad thing or something I want to make you feel bad about - I'm saying this because I've been there - when I was younger I cried about how I looked I'm not making that up for the sake of argument.

Advice won't change what you look like, but even with surgery you are an aging human being. If you can't settle for less than an unrealistic and idealised "beauty" than like I've said - you're in for a lifetime of self-hatred and more and more surgeries as the years make you "ugly" because the popular culture thinks that signs of age on women is ugly.

I think you need to explore yourself and why you think you're ugly in the first place. Who told you this ? And more importantly who told you that it mattered ? Why is your self-worth measured by how much people might want to have sex with you ? I'm not saying that to be gross or off-putting or jarring, but because that's what our culture and so many others does to women. They reduce their value to how much other people like them and how pretty they are.

I actually just signed a petition against this bullshit (yes, the "after" is official art, not fanart) :



Merida was already an attractive character, but she hasn't just been made "prettier", she's been made sexier. Because for some reason a young girl needed a sexier and more "womanly" figure (there are plenty of grown women who aren't particularly curvy - and they certainly face crap for not being "woman enough" and being told they look like "little girls" when it's one of many normal configurations for an adult female human to have). These are the kinds of images you and everyone else has been exposed to their entire lives - it's no shame to have been fucked up by them.

Your value as a person shouldn't be tied only to how you look to the extent that you'll never be happy if you don't make your physical features different. Because you won't attain some aesthetic where you are suddenly "beautiful" - you can only try harder to please people and people will never be fully pleased. I feel like this is relevant to you because in your opening you talk about picture views and +favs.

We need to teach young girls that they're valuable no matter what, not just if they look like whatever image is the current "IT" image. We need to teach them that value is also conferred when you do things completely unrelated to your looks - that it's okay to be physically ugly, that you can still be a good and valuable person even if you were. What if we told little girls that their value depended on them being able to paint like Da Vinci ? It would be just as destructive since not all girls could paint that way, not all girls would want to paint but they'd still be teased and reviled if they didn't. It would be just as unhealthy. Physical aesthetic image is a part of life and an important one - but just like anything else it shouldn't be what matters most.

This culture is what creates that monstrosity that is caring more about a woman's bare breast than the fact that she saved lives.

There are aspects of myself that I don't really like that I might seek to change - I can understand that. I just think it is important that before a person does so that they are able to heal from the damage that the popular culture and others around them have done. You should no more have surgery with those wounds than if it was a broken leg - it should be focused on first as something essential to quality of life for all people no matter how they currently feel about themselves.
__________________
Disclaimer : This post written by a Grumpy Old Man

Actually in the pipes:
- Remaking Ser Loras doublet.
- Luke Skywalker, A New Hope
- Wind Waker starter costume in swim material
Eventually: Paul from Dune, Faramir, Harry Sullivan

Last edited by Kelley : 05-12-2013 at 05:01 AM.
Kelley is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 05-12-2013, 04:46 AM   #23
Gaara-Sephiroth
Riku's Girlfriend
 
Gaara-Sephiroth's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 566
I feel like that all the time. Especially lately while working on my cosplays and looking at myself and how I look and thinking "do you really think you can pull off that character??" It's depressing cuz I really don't think I can pull it off but my friends keep saying I should just go for it and just have fun with the cosplay. Which is what I always tell them when they start getting self conscious about cosplays.....lol.
__________________
My DeviantArt: http://gaara-sephiroth.deviantart.com/

My Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/LinkTheHeroOfTime

My Twitter: https://twitter.com/RikusGirlfriend

Feel free to add/watch/follow me, especially if we met at a cosplay event. :-)
Gaara-Sephiroth is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Rate This Thread
Rate This Thread:

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 01:34 PM.


Copyright 2002-2013 Cosplay.com, LLC. All Rights Reserved.
All comments and posts in our forums are the opinion of the respective poster.