Plastic surgery can take many months to show results - it's not going to even look good at first and may in fact look worse. This is why I worry when I person who has poor self-esteem wants to go for it - because it's not going to be what you want right away and it's going to look bad, feel bad, and it might not even turn out how you wanted and you might suffer complications. My friend went through some serious doubt after a surgery that healed much faster than a rhinoplasty would and she was very prepared for it - the lack of results and looking worse at first can be crushing even if you know it's going to be that way.
My mom didn't tell me I needed I nose job, but she did offer to pay for it if that's what I wanted and told me she could understand why I felt that way. I'm still glad I didn't do it. My friend is glad she had her surgery - but we talked about it about her feelings about why she wanted it and she considered it deeply. I feel like the medical establishment is really letting people down with their double standards - if you want to look more like the popular culture says you should you will be given surgery without question - but if you want to look a different way you are subjected to months of therapy and jumping through hoops. I think it would be best if everyone went for a middle ground and did a few sessions of therapy before surgery. It doesn't mean a person is "crazy" or anything, but with so many people struggling with these issues it's not fair to just take their money without considering if it's really the best for them. I know doctors try, but ultimately they need to make money and they have their hands tied to some extent by what is expected of them within our culture. My friend and I talked about that exact topic and how she was a little disturbed that they weren't really going to ask her if she was sure she was doing what was best for her and I'm glad that she took it upon herself to go through those thoughts on her own.
Another friend has parents who tell them they're too fat and have tried to force them to diet and go to "fat camp" and all sorts of things. And no fucking shit it messed them up and made them feel horrible about themselves. But they're recovering and discovering what they find is important to themselves - their life is not lived for their parents or their parents' definition of what is beautiful or what a person needs to look like in order to be good and valuable to the world.
I know your pictures are flattering because everyone tries to take flattering pictures for the most part - but it's simply not possible that you're actually hideously deformed - you can't hide THAT much just with camera angles and while I don't want to offend you I do think that your self image is genuinely delusional. And that's not a bad thing or something I want to make you feel bad about - I'm saying this because I've been there - when I was younger I cried about how I looked I'm not making that up for the sake of argument.
Advice won't change what you look like, but even with surgery you are an aging human being. If you can't settle for less than an unrealistic and idealised "beauty" than like I've said - you're in for a lifetime of self-hatred and more and more surgeries as the years make you "ugly" because the popular culture thinks that signs of age on women is ugly.
I think you need to explore yourself and why you think you're ugly in the first place. Who told you this ? And more importantly who told you that it mattered
? Why is your self-worth measured by how much people might want to have sex with you ? I'm not saying that to be gross or off-putting or jarring, but because that's what our culture and so many others does to women. They reduce their value to how much other people like them and how pretty they are.
I actually just signed a petition against this bullshit (yes, the "after" is official art, not fanart) :
Merida was already an attractive character, but she hasn't just been made "prettier", she's been made sexier
. Because for some reason a young girl needed a sexier and more "womanly" figure (there are plenty of grown women who aren't particularly curvy - and they certainly face crap for not being "woman enough" and being told they look like "little girls" when it's one of many normal configurations for an adult female human to have). These are the kinds of images you and everyone else has been exposed to their entire lives - it's no shame to have been fucked up by them.
Your value as a person shouldn't be tied only to how you look to the extent that you'll never be happy if you don't make your physical features different. Because you won't attain some aesthetic where you are suddenly "beautiful" - you can only try harder to please people and people will never be fully pleased. I feel like this is relevant to you because in your opening you talk about picture views and +favs.
We need to teach young girls that they're valuable no matter what, not just if they look like whatever image is the current "IT" image. We need to teach them that value is also conferred when you do things completely unrelated to your looks - that it's okay to be physically ugly, that you can still be a good and valuable person even if you were. What if we told little girls that their value depended on them being able to paint like Da Vinci ? It would be just as destructive since not all girls could paint that way, not all girls would want to paint but they'd still be teased and reviled if they didn't. It would be just as unhealthy. Physical aesthetic image is a part of life and an important one - but just like anything else it shouldn't be what matters most.
This culture is what creates that monstrosity that is caring more about a woman's bare breast than the fact that she saved lives.
There are aspects of myself that I don't really like that I might seek to change - I can understand that. I just think it is important that before a person does so that they are able to heal from the damage that the popular culture and others around them have done. You should no more have surgery with those wounds than if it was a broken leg - it should be focused on first as something essential to quality of life for all
people no matter how they currently feel about themselves.