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Unread 05-14-2013, 10:39 PM   #1
HelloKittyQueen
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Being "Too Sexy" For Lolita

First of all let me start off by stating that I've been obsessed with Lolita fashion since I was still in high school. However, I never really had any money to buy anything, so I would just creep on other people and dreamed of the day I could afford Lolita. FINALLY, now that I have a good paying job and am out of high school, I've went out and purchased many Angelic Pretty items as well as off brand items. I do not dress Lolita on a daily basis, but a few times out of the month I do dress up.

I am always fully covered with proper blouses, petticoats, and stockings and I never wear anything see through or too short. However, I've been told multiple times that I look like an Ero Lolita or that my breasts are too big and that I shouldn't even bother. Now while being a 32DDD, let me just say that there really isn't anything that I can do to fully disguise their size. I also have a small waist and have an overall small frame and sometimes the dresses do tend to extenuate these characteristics. However, I do not dress to show my body and even if I'm not in Lolita I do not show much skin due to my religious beliefs.

I'm actually quite stumped as to why I keep getting told this. Is it due to my body or am I doing something wrong elsewhere. I would provide pictures if I had any, but I can assure you that I am quite covered. (I don't even wear knee high stockings, only patterned opaque panty hose and stockings)

My question is: Have you ever been told this? Is it a common thing? Do you really have to look a certain way to dress in Lolita with out disrespecting the culture of it?

Thank you all so much for your time and advice, I really do appreciate it!
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Unread 05-15-2013, 08:09 AM   #2
ThakYuki
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There is no wrong body type for lolita. Whoever's telling you you're "too sexy" for lolita doesn't know what they're talking about, and probably doesn't really know lolita. I'm a 32DDD with curves as well, but can still dress appropriately in lolita.
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Unread 05-16-2013, 05:40 PM   #3
Catscatscats
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They're probably just jealous of you and your big titties (iknowiam<3) it's nothing to be ashamed of. Probably because they automatically think Lolita + big breasts = sexual, but is really not. Just ignore them. You don't have to look a certain way AT ALL. I know some fashions say you do, but those are just outrageously impractical.
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Unread 05-16-2013, 08:43 PM   #4
Boreotheria
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Blargh, the body shaming again. People who say things like that about anyone else's body -- whether they're overtly negative or superficially positive (like "too sexy") -- have got some serious issues. They're either jealous and trying to keep you away so that they can be the star, or if it's someone you don't even know in real life they just habitually barf their opinions at other people because it makes them feel important. Ignore 'em.

It makes me laugh in the context of lolita, because if I understand correctly, lolita is about women deliberately (temporarily) rejecting grownup sexiness in favour of a moment of cute innocence. Limiting it to people whose bodies are less well-endowed seems to throw the whole purpose of it out the window. (And it implies that more well-endowed bodies are "more womanly" than other women's bodies of the same age, which is patently false and insulting in several directions at once.)
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Unread 05-19-2013, 04:41 PM   #5
SallyValentine
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Don't listen to people trying to body shame you! If anyone thinks they can judge you based on your body, they're just being silly! It doesn't matter if you're fat, thin, tall, short, disabled, able, male, female etc. just wear what you want! If people try to force their opinions of what they think of you on you, don't listen. They need to learn to respect people. Don't let anyone else's opinion of your body affect what you wear, or how you see yourself, and feel about yourself.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with wearing the clothes you like, they don't have to be 'flattering', and you don't need anyone else's approval, just wear what you want. Seriously.
If someone tells you 'your breasts are too big for lolita', they're probably just trying to annoy you, or put you down, or maybe they're just jealous of all your pretty clothes. Either way, I wouldn't listen to that person. I'm sure you look great, no matter what you wear. As long as you're happy, go for it!
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Unread 05-20-2013, 01:18 PM   #6
HelloKittyQueen
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Thank you guys, so much. I'm always afraid to complain about this problem because people immediately jump down my throat that I'm just "fishing for compliments on my body" when in reality I'm actually seeking counseling for it. I was bullied in high school and a particularly bad experience has essentially scarred me for life and it's gotten so bad that any bad remark about my appearance can depress me. Silly, I know, but I am trying to get over it.

It makes me feel better to know that it wasn't something I was doing wrong here X_X That's the last thing I wanted.
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Unread 05-21-2013, 10:18 AM   #7
Alice MacLeod
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I am only a D. I wish I could be so lucky lol. Seriously though Lolita style is about modesty so i cant see it being too sexy in the first place. Lolita is to the knees outfits with either nice tights or knee socks, fluffy petticoats and usually bloomers. The tops can be somewhat enhancing on the chest area but its not revealing. if it was it would not be proper Lolita, so the pros tell me. It's about showing your girly side. Even a little sissy somewhat but who cares!! I like it!!
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Unread 05-30-2013, 11:58 AM   #8
Bobbi
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The only problem you are going to run into with a big bust is the hemline and bodice length riding up on you. I'm a 34DD and I have to do a few tricks to make things look a bit better on me since most Lolita items are made for people with a small bust size (I'm looking at you, Innocent World). So even if they do stretch to accommodate a larger size, it doesn't mean it will look perfect straight out of the mail bag.
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Unread 06-06-2013, 10:32 AM   #9
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Yea I mean I am an amazon and I still wear it. If you like it wear it. I don't think there is really a problem that you will run into other than that you may have to alter tops here and there to fit.
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Unread 06-28-2013, 07:12 AM   #10
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I will say what I always do - make sure you're wearing the right bra size. It makes a huge difference in multiple areas. I question if you are because I know someone who wears a 30E (and has a 23" waist) and they can look basically flat-chested just by wearing certain clothing. A well-fitting bra can alleviate all kinds of problems !

Picture of the difference the right bra makes (totally "safe for work", she is completely clothed). And you'll notice she's an HH but her figure is not comically busty. You'll also notice the big difference it makes to wear the right size. And not only is it just what you can see, it's more comfortable too.

Ultimately, it matters what you want to look like. If you want to look more like a little girl while wearing full-on Lolita clothing (which many do and I'm not disparaging that - it's up to the person what they want to look like) - there are certainly things you can do (minimising bras, a bit of compression, cuts of the tops/dresses that will look "less developed"). If you don't want to, that's also your choice. It depends on why you like Lolita as a fashion and what you want to look like. It's totally up to you.
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Unread 07-20-2013, 01:51 PM   #11
ThornSprite
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I am so sorry that you have been told that. Whoever said that is a very shallow person. Body shape/size doesn't matter AT ALL. Ero lolita is a sub style, not a category for bustier lolitas. Modesty is the cornerstone for the style, and from what you're saying, you are being modest. If you want to look less busty, go right ahead! If you want to show your natural bust size, more power to ya! Hope that helps.
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Unread 07-23-2013, 11:33 AM   #12
hikarigirl13
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I am also a 32DDD, (I feel your pain girly!) and I get comments from people all the time. I am also extremely self conscious and tend to "shut down" at any comments from anyone about my body. I've been told I can't wear certain costumes because that character "isn't supposed to have a full chest" or "you can't pull off that character with such a full chest." It is indeed very discouraging, but really anyone who is saying such things is a fool with no better way to spend their time than insulting others. You should be able to embrace your own appearance and have fun in your costume (that was the whole point, right? To have fun hehe ^_^ ) And while it's true that no matter where you go, there will always be rude/foolish people full of insults, and though its easy to say but not to do (trust me, I know) You have to learn not to let these negative comments rule your life. It's your life, be who you were created to be, and who you want to be
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