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Unread 06-19-2013, 03:20 AM   #1
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Binding Chest/Telling Parents

Hello, I'm really new to cosplay (even though I've known about it for years) and I've just started getting my parents involved. They know nothing about chest binding, but they already know that I'll be crossplaying.
My hair is already cut short like a guy's, and because of that and the crossplay, my parents are questioning my sexuality... -_-"
I don't want them to do that, and I especially don't want to scare them away from cosplay forever just because of something as little as chest binding!!

Anyway, I have a convention to go to towards the middle of July and I've been getting my cosplays ready for it. I have Canada from Hetalia, Near from Death Note, and Honey from OHSHC as my crossplays.
I tried to choose short, pale characters with a body structure similar to mine for my cosplays so it would look pretty accurate (excluding Canada, he's so tall!!), but there weren't many short pale girls that I liked enough to want to cosplay, so I chose all guys.
My parents asked me why I only chose boys to cosplay, but they wouldn't stop talking so the subject changed before I could explain this to them. They think I'm weird, even if they are helping me find things for my cosplays.

But then we get to the subject of chest binding... Something I haven't discussed with them yet. I guess they thought it wouldn't be much of a problem because I'm only dressing up as each character for a day, but I want my cosplays to be accurate!
Okay, so I'm a B cup, and although that might not look really bad when crossplaying... It's enough to notice and it bothers me. Plus, I'm very small, sooo... Even just a B cup is pretty noticeable on me.
I've tried finding ways to make smaller bras or tank tops that I already have to work, but I haven't had much luck.
I'd buy a sports bra or something else for binding myself, but my parents would have to drive me there so I can't do anything without them knowing.

tl;dr edition below~

So, my problems are:
1. Telling my parents about chest binding when they're already so worked up about crossplay.
2. Finding effective but safe binding techniques. I don't want to hurt myself or be uncomfortable, but I want to look like a guy because my characters ARE guys. Compression shirt-things are out of the question, though- not enough money, time, etc.

Thank you so much. ;w; And sorry for such a long post for something that could be summarized in a paragraph.
Canada (Hetalia) ---> 75% done
Near (Death Note) ---> 75% done
Honey (OHSHC) ---> 55% done
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Unread 06-19-2013, 01:00 PM   #2
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if a sports bra will give you the right look it's not so bad, most girls have a sports bra kicking around, it's nothing unusual or hard to find..
I would be honest with them, lying or avoiding the truth will only make things harder and seem more suspicious to them. just tell them that for the sake of having an accurate looking cosplay you need a sportsbra to tame the girls and because the straps from a regular bra might show and ruin the look (maybe don't use the word binding) and that you can use it for PE or whatever too.

it's great that they're supportive with your cosplaying
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Unread 06-19-2013, 10:46 PM   #3
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If you're really worried about your parents and binding or whatever, just see if you can wear two sports bras (which you could reasonably need for PE or whatever, anyway...I can't imagine your parents telling you no if you want them for that. If not, see if you can borrow some from a friend? Do girls still borrow each others' sports bras, uh). If they notice you're binding, just tell them you're cosplaying dudes and it would look weird if they had noticeable boobs.
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Unread 06-20-2013, 01:26 AM   #4
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^What Belligerent said. Don't use the words "chest binding" and don't go suddenly bringing it up like you're confessing something. Just ask to get some sports bras and if they ask why just say you want to look a bit flatter to look the part. They seem pretty cool. I wish my parents were supportive like yours

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Unread 06-21-2013, 05:16 AM   #5
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Would your parents actually be angry or disown your or just "think you're weird" ? Even if you WERE gay, so what ?

I understand maybe they'd freak out - but if they're okay with you dressing up as a guy for your costumes I have to wonder if they're really that uptight.

Yeah, you can lie if you have to, but if your parents are reasonably intelligent people who don't have harmful personal biases that would make them evil enough to disown a child for just flattening his or her chest I don't think it's a big deal to just tell them the truth. If you explain it to them like a mature young-adult they would probably really appreciate that. Don't obfuscate, don't let the subject just "pass by" - just tell them.

I mean my parents let me dress up as a "male" character for Halloween when I was seven years old.

You say they're "worked up" about cosplay - but why ? Identify that issue and confront it like an adult, too.

I know there are terrible parents out there - I know a guy whose parents had an exorcism performed on him because he's gay. But there are also a lot of parents out there who aren't terrible and the best thing to do is just talk to them. Girls dressed up as guys for plays even before my grandparents were born - it's not really that new an idea. If they think you're gay, so what ? As long as they don't cut you off you can let your actions speak for whatever sexual preference you have now or develop in the future.
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Unread 06-21-2013, 11:57 AM   #6
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it's a strange assumption to make anyway, that if you crossplay you must be gay. a gay person doesn't automatically want to dress up as the opposite gender, and likewise wanting to do so does not make a person gay
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Unread 06-21-2013, 12:12 PM   #7
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I get similar comments from my mother about it too (though they're more along the lines of transphobic...) so I understand you there, personally I use two sports bras but my chest is practically flat anyway so depending on your bust size you may need a proper binder. (Seriously, get a proper chest binder. You can get cheap ones on Ebay and other methods are usually not very safe) It's a little hard to explain and a bit awkward but if they already know you're crossplaying just explain that you need to look like a guy and that means you need to bind down your chest. Explain that it's just part of your costume to make it look better.
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Last edited by ToroSonyCat : 06-21-2013 at 12:15 PM.
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