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Unread 07-01-2013, 02:45 AM   #1
palmtoptiger
Yuki Inuzuka
 
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 19
Help with this skit please ^_^

My friend's little sister is trying to write short Naruto skits.
Please help her out! Give her some advice, fix something up for her, idk. I have writer's block and can't think of anything
She's only 11 so please don't be overly cruel XD

--------1---------

--Note: Naruto's new Sexy no Jutsu is in sage mode because that's the cosplay one of us is thinking of doing--

Naruto; [In male voice from offstage.] Sexy no Jutsu!

Sasuke; [Walks onstage casually.]

Naruto; [Runs onstage as a girl.] Saaaassuuukkkeeeeeeeeeee!!! [Jumps on top of Sasuke.] Hi!

Sasuke; N-Naruto, what the heck are you doing??!

Naruto; What does it look like? It's my new and improved sage Sexy no Jutsu!

Sasuke; [Sighs.] Get rid of it, dobe, you look ridiculous.

Naruto; Fine... teme. [Stands up and puts fingers together.] Dispel! [Nothing happens.] I-I said dispel! Dispel! Dispel dispel dispel dispel dispel dis--

Sasuke; Narut--

Naruto; SHUT UP, SASUKE! Dispel dispel dispel dispel dispel dispel dispel dispel dispel dispel dispel!!!!! AAARGH STUPID PIECE OF [very long beep as if Naruto's swearing non-stop.]

Sasuke; [Tosses a tampon at Naruto.]

Naruto; ...what is this?

Sasuke; [Waves Naruto over and whispers something in his/her ear.]

Naruto; [Hesitantly puts the tampon in his/her mouth.]

Sasuke; No, not that hole. [Whispers something else in Naruto's ear.]

Naruto; [Screams and throws tampon at Sasuke before running away.]


--------2---------

[Sakura and Ino walk on-stage together while arguing.]

Sakura; I told you, Sasuke-kun wears boxers.

Ino; No, I'm sure he wears briefs.

Sakura; No, it's boxers.

Ino; Briefs!

Sakura; Boxers!

Ino; Large forehead!

Sakura; Ino-pig!

[Hinata walks by the two girls.]

Ino and Sakura; Hinata-chaaan!!

[Hinata squeaks as Ino and Sakura surround her.]

Ino; Hey hey, would you mind doing us a reeaally big favour?

Hinata; Wh-what kind of... favour?

Sakura; We need you to use your Byakugan to see what kind of underwear Sasuke-kun wears. [Points at Sasuke on the other side of the stage, who is minding his own business.]

Hinata; [Squeaks again.] Wh-wha...???

Sakura; Please, Hinata-chan?

Hinata; I-I don't think... I should... [Stares at the ground and plays with her fingers.]

Sakura; We'll help you get Naruto's attention in return!

Hinata; [Looks up.] N-Naruto-kun?

Ino; Yep! You do like him, right?

Hinata; [Considers it for a minute.] O-okay... I guess I could... just take... a quick peek...

Sakura; Yay! Thanks Hinata-chan!

Hinata; [Stares at Sasuke with Byakugan activated. After a few seconds, she blushes deeply and stutters randomly before passing out.]

Ino; H-Hinata-chan..?!

Sakura; Is he really that hot?!

Ino; [Turns to Sakura.] It must be the briefs.

Naruto; Oooooiiii! [Walks casually onstage.] Ino, Sakura-chan, have you seen Sasuke anywhere?

Sakura; Oh, he's right over there. [Points to Sasuke.]

Naruto; Sweet, thanks Sakura-cha-- [Sakura grabs Naruto's ear.] Ow ow ow ow ow ow ow!

Sakura; Naruto, go ask Sasuke what kind of underwear he wears!

Naruto; Okay, okay! Just let go of my ear!

Sakura; [Lets go and pushes Naruto towards Sasuke.]

Naruto; Uhh... teme...?

Sasuke; Yes?

Naruto; Uhmm what kind of.... [Turns back to Ino and Sakura who motion for him to continue. Naruto sighs.] What kind of underwear do you wear?

Sasuke; [Stares at Naruto for a few seconds.] Wouldn't you like to know?

Naruto; J-j-just answer the stupid question!

Sasuke; [Turns and starts to walk away.] I don't bother with any underwear.

[Everybody stares in shock for a few seconds.]

Ino and Sakura; S-Sasuke-kun!!! [Runs offstage, chasing after Sasuke.]

Naruto; H-hey you two wait! [Runs after Ino and Sakura.] Hands off, he's mine!


-----------------

Yeah soooo again, please be nice if they suck, she's only 11 XD
Advce is greatly appreciated ^_^ arigatou
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Unread 07-04-2013, 01:00 AM   #2
Reina_21
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That's actually pretty funny. I was laughing all the way through.
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Unread 07-05-2013, 07:47 AM   #3
Halfanelf
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The only problem might be in length. Make sure you check the rules about time. (:
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Unread 07-06-2013, 12:39 AM   #4
Suuki
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Pretty good.
There was just a couple things that bothered me..
The first was that I really didn't see the gag in the first one? (just wondering why Sasuke would want Naruto to put on a tampon.. Maybe I just don't get it. I am clueless sometimes.)
Also, I am not sure if people will know that it is a tampon anyway, if you are on a stage performing.
And the second one is that byakugan pretty much only sees Chakra flow/points (not through clothes, but I am sure your sister already knew that.. ) So I am not sure if someone will bother you 'bout that.. But it is for comedy, I guess you can have creative freedom with that.
The last thing was minor, but may or may not be an issue.. But for some reason, Naruto calling Sasuke teme bothers me.. The way it is used here seems kind of out of context to the way the word is actually supposed to be used.. Maybe instead of, "Uhh.. Teme.." say, "Teme~!" It really is just a rude way of referring to someone, not really to be used as a petname like how it is in the script.. My advice is to have Naruto call Sasuke over like.. "Teme~!".. But kind of flustered like, when Sasuke comes over you can have Naruto all confused and bashful then..
Hope I was of some help. (:
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Last edited by Suuki : 07-06-2013 at 12:43 AM.
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