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Unread 03-28-2018, 03:38 PM   #10336
Zoeyromanov
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I just really want this (school) year to be over. I'm way past the point of 'it's going to get better', 'taking it with a grain of salt', 'just getting up and doing what you need to do'. It's not enough for me anymore. I don't mean this in a suicidal way, just out of frustration, stress, anxiety, and I don't mean that I need more (because I've learned not to chew more than what you can eat). I'm always surrounded by snobs, jerks et al and I know as a general rule those people don't matter (trust me, I know) and to ignore them but what I mean is I'm surrounded by people who don't stimulate me. They don't challenge me, always take the easy way out, don't give a shit and all that and create this toxic environment even if they don't really see it or think about it, but I do. I can't thrive in that kind of place and anyone's gone through a bad school experience(s) know exactly what I'm talking about.
That's why I was dreading going back this year, and venting this late in the game considering the school year ends in April it's kinda of a moot point, so obviously I might as well finish. But if it weren't one of my friends actually returning to school (as he previously said he wasn't entirely sure if he wanted to) and a new friend I made back in September (and still keep in contact) I honestly wouldn't know what to do.
My sister and I were talking about Graduation, and to be honestly, I really don't care what we do, I just want to get the hell out. I'm fucking done. I don't mean to redirect my bad experience back to my sister, what I'm saying anything goes just a long as I get to finally leave so we can do anything. I know it's supposed to celebratory to be graduating, but really I could have just left last year. A 3rd year in my art program is not mandatory, so going back this year was highly optional but talking to my drawing teacher I had in 3rd year told me I might as well finish. I kept telling myself that obviously what I learn is more important than people who come and go, but the aforementioned toxic environment really did a toll on me.
That's not to say I didn't learn stuff outside of school, or literally everything happening was bad; so I don't want to keep nitpicking the negative stuff and only focus on that but honestly cons outweighed the pros. Just a month more or less to go...
Phew. Been wanting to vent this for sometime now and it feels pretty good.
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Unread 04-05-2018, 12:34 PM   #10337
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Well, I requested off for Tora-con, but I filled out the form wrong and I got scheduled for a shift on Saturday. Now I have to find someone to cover me, or if I can't, beg my manager to take me off the schedule. I've had these plans for months after all...
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Unread 04-05-2018, 07:49 PM   #10338
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Man, Zoeyromanov, that sounds rough. I'm glad it's almost over for you. I understand that dread and just anxiety and need for things to end. Sometimes I feel like my job puts me through bouts like that, and yeah I can just tough it out, but every day is just a grind from hour to hour where you're praying for the end to come, and you don't care how.

Incidentally I once overworked myself with cosplay deadlines and stress and commitments to my closest friend and was literally having visions of how to get out of it even if it ended up being because a car hit me or something. Not a good feeling because I don't even remotely condone or actually feel that way, ever. So I get ya. Hope it comes to an end soon!

KuruttaKanashii, I hope you can get the day off! I really hate that jobs don't actually try to be understanding about that kind of thing, accidents happen!
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Unread 04-09-2018, 09:22 AM   #10339
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I kissed up and got the day off. Now I just have to finish my cosplay before Saturday...
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Unread 04-09-2018, 07:27 PM   #10340
Zoeyromanov
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Originally Posted by Asmaria View Post
Man, Zoeyromanov, that sounds rough. I'm glad it's almost over for you. I understand that dread and just anxiety and need for things to end. Sometimes I feel like my job puts me through bouts like that, and yeah I can just tough it out, but every day is just a grind from hour to hour where you're praying for the end to come, and you don't care how.

Incidentally I once overworked myself with cosplay deadlines and stress and commitments to my closest friend and was literally having visions of how to get out of it even if it ended up being because a car hit me or something. Not a good feeling because I don't even remotely condone or actually feel that way, ever. So I get ya. Hope it comes to an end soon!

KuruttaKanashii, I hope you can get the day off! I really hate that jobs don't actually try to be understanding about that kind of thing, accidents happen!
Thanks for the pick-me-up . It is, but it is just my perspective so I wouldn't be able to tell 100%. Still though I can tell by body language (not that every single thing is offensive or anything like that). As I said, friends got me through it (that and coffee or those AMs), Friday and Saturday 'rituals' to help settle down and all that. I'm happy it's almost over too. I hope things settle down on your end too.
Me on cosplay however, I never really stress out because I only do 50% of the work (modify existing materials like shirts, pants etc.) so it's not the same as doing something from scrap (but I'm hoping to get there soon) and I do it five months before, well before my con. That and I still have to juggle school during the time and I do little by little. Again I hope everything works out on your end.
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Unread 04-10-2018, 01:47 PM   #10341
Asmaria
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Thanks for the pick-me-up . It is, but it is just my perspective so I wouldn't be able to tell 100%. Still though I can tell by body language (not that every single thing is offensive or anything like that). As I said, friends got me through it (that and coffee or those AMs), Friday and Saturday 'rituals' to help settle down and all that. I'm happy it's almost over too. I hope things settle down on your end too.
Me on cosplay however, I never really stress out because I only do 50% of the work (modify existing materials like shirts, pants etc.) so it's not the same as doing something from scrap (but I'm hoping to get there soon) and I do it five months before, well before my con. That and I still have to juggle school during the time and I do little by little. Again I hope everything works out on your end.
It's good to have calming things and time set aside, I'm glad your friends helped you with that! I have a friend that taught me to schedule breaks even if I'm on full con crunch, and it made a big difference even when I was going through that stressful time.

Thankfully I'm actually pretty good right now - We cut back on our plans and bought some costumes for our upcoming cons. I'm making new stuff but it's nothing major, and the biggest project I'm working on isn't for a con until August! My work is so-so... but the end of month passed without a crisis so I'm good for now, lol. ^^
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Unread 04-11-2018, 02:05 PM   #10342
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It's good to have calming things and time set aside, I'm glad your friends helped you with that! I have a friend that taught me to schedule breaks even if I'm on full con crunch, and it made a big difference even when I was going through that stressful time.

Thankfully I'm actually pretty good right now - We cut back on our plans and bought some costumes for our upcoming cons. I'm making new stuff but it's nothing major, and the biggest project I'm working on isn't for a con until August! My work is so-so... but the end of month passed without a crisis so I'm good for now, lol. ^^
Me too; you have no idea. Glad hear to hear things on your end are calming down too. Breaks are always important! Current cosplay plans are so-so for me as well. Hope things work out
--
Man, new rant. Yesterday my mom and sister planned to go to Walmart and they went. However, before that, my mom asked if I was going. I had homework, and I admit I really didn't do much (did half the work well before hand either way so it was almost done) but regardless of that, I didn't feel the need to go and wasn't really necessary for me to have gone. My mom has the tendency to guilt trip me (or somehow it feels like that to me) for not going and she goes 'Why don't you like being with me? I'm gonna be like that with you that later on, too'. That's not really fair for my mom to do that just because I simply don't want to go some place. She also says stuff like 'Don't be angry/upset all the time, your body will suffer' and this a perfect example as why I feel the way I do (and hence why going to school isn't any better).
And supposedly, today I was 'rude' to my sister because I had wanted to know why the significance of my new mattress (well not new) considering my aunt is coming for visit. I had simply wanted to know why, just to make conversation and in all fairness they were talking about something that's mine, and while it wasn't my intention to sound the way I did my mom doesn't help me when my sister gets on my nerves. In some respect, she doesn't need to because my sister and I are both grown up so it's not like she's dealing with kids. But how does she stand up for my sister and not me when I need help?
I mean, I don't want this to be taken the wrong way but these are just example as I said as to why I feel the way I do.
I know this is my mom we're talking about here, but that can only go so far.
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Unread 04-27-2018, 04:48 AM   #10343
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I never order a costume from China ever again. Of course, I'm that 1% (at least I feel like the 1%, because everyone online always claims it never ever happened to them) who has to deal with customs and with the delivery company for days now. And its the fault of the seller.

They wrote on the package, that the goods inside have a value of 20 Euro...which is obviously bullshit, even for chinese standarts. If they want to cheat their way out of taxes in their own country, okay, do so. But don't get me into trouble that I have to sort out by making your declarations on the package THAT unrealistic. A value of 50 or 70 would have gone smoothly!

Because the value of the package was so low, a custom officer requested to open it and of course found his suspicion confirmed. They declined import until proven by some kind of payment verification, what the value of the package really is. So it stayed in the UPS storage center and they try to contact me.... And of course I'm in the US while that shit happens and don't get the phone call. I just get an email from the seller, telling me to contact UPS...but without telling me whats wrong.

Back at home, I get in contact with UPS. Takes a moment to get to a person in capable of explaining whats going on and what they need, but at least better than any of my other experiances with call centers. I send them the requested proof of payment.

And this morning, I find a note in my mail box to please call a specific employee at UPS because of this package. After the last one told me everything is finde now. And this piece of paper again does not tell me why I should call and what they want from me. And on top of that, they are now also going to charge me for storage costs of the package...additionally to all import taxes and costs. And guess what? That person I should call hasn't answered the phone.

Never again. I swear.
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Unread 05-23-2018, 09:45 PM   #10344
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My brother left a bunch of melted cheese at the bottom of the oven when he was making pizzas and didn't clean it up; the next person who went to use it didn't notice and it started a fire in the oven that nobody caught until this very loud sound that was a combination between a boom and a pop echoed throughout the house. Long story short our oven no longer works so were stuck using the stove top burners, griddle, or microwave for meals until we either fix it or get get a new one. Our mom still hasn't decide what to do since the oven is old and fixing it is about half the cost of a new one anyway.

So it was my sister's turn to make dinner today, she is lazy and wanted to make pizzas which obviously didn't work because we no longer have an oven. So she instead decides to go pick up a bucket of chicken. She comes back and calls us out to eat...and our plates have 3 small wings and nothing else. No fruits, no veggies, no nothing. She meanwhile has a full plate of sushi for herself that she's having instead of the chicken wings. So we ask her what else she got us to eat, and she's just like go grab a yogurt from the fridge or some chips from cabinet if you're still going to be hungry. Mom is pissed. We sit down to eat and take a bite of the chicken...and it's cold. We tell her this, and she's like well you have to warm it up. Sorry but it's YOUR job to make dinner, that means it's YOUR job to heat the food up. I have to wait for the other two to finish heating their plates, so I just skip straight to dessert because I'm starving (we didn't eat until after 8) and my sister didn't bring home anything else to eat. She bitches about how big a piece I took. I'm like "you gave me THREE wings, how is that supposed to be enough to feed anybody?" and for once my mom backs me up because she's sick of her as well. My sister storms off in a huff because "nobody appreciates her". If she didn't have enough money to buy more wings then she should have just made pancakes & sausage, or grilled cheese & soup, or any of the variety of things we already had at home that didn't require the use of the oven. But she was lazy and didn't want to cook, so we're expected to have 3 wings each while she stuffs herself on a plate of sushi because "I don't have enough money". Well stop being lazy and spending it all on a wardrobe big enough for 4 people and maybe you'd have some.
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Unread 06-12-2018, 08:00 PM   #10345
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My sister walks into my mom's room to have a chat with her, though my mom happens to be watching her soap operas, which I'm not a fan of. Obviously, to each his (her) own, because my mom is in her room and it's her territory. But I get annoyed because I highly dislike hearing soaps. So I don't want to listen so I just get up to close the door. I didn't slam the door or anything of the sort, but I made a face as I got up because, well they get on my nerves (but not to either of them). My sister comes out a few minutes later, and while she made playful banter because she's fully aware how much I hate soaps. I'm irritated not because of the banter, but because I'm irritated and not in the mood (and I'll get to that). She asks me if dad is downstairs afterwards (which he happens to be) but I chose not to answer because of the hypocrisy there. Even if I had told her that dad was downstairs, because I was mad, she would've made a comment on that and that would've just gotten me mad even more. She ends up tells me off, telling me that even though I'm mad she still expects a reply nonetheless and while I understand I came off as a bitch, but there's something wrong with that.
When I watch something that I happen to like but my sister doesn't, I have to hear her go on about how bad the show, how much she hates the characters and whatnot and I can never say anything and have to let her keep talking. And when I'm actually the one that's telling my sister off because of something she did, it happens to be irrelevant and she plays it off as nothing. And when I expect a reply, from her, when I'm unhappy about something all she does hang her head as if she's waiting for me to stop. I accept my part for being a bitch in this regard, but I hadn't realized that I owe explanations/answers but she doesn't.
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Unread 06-20-2018, 02:11 PM   #10346
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Just a generic rant...ugh. Why is it that my sister seems to be so oblivious about my feelings, yet able to call me out when I'm 'moody' or don't respond to her? She should not be surprised that I'm in a mood at times because she's exactly like my mom. You ask me what's wrong when there's something that upsets me, but you tell me to get over it, or you play it off as if it's nothing. When she gossips with my mom (and they can of course do so since it's not like I police what they do) they can go on and on about said gossip and I overhear it and I'm like just 'meh', but not in a mean way or anything it's just more like gossip isn't really my cup of tea.
She thinks I get upset about everything, but when I explain my reasons she immediately turns it back on me, thinks I'm being rude, and thinks I do whatever I want and says things without context and expect me to be okay with it. But I always owe explanations but they don't. Previously she's said that she "doesn't want to do deal with this" at times, in regards to whatever I unhappy about (usually it has to do with my mom).
I brought this is up in recent rants on here, so I feel a bit silly for repeating myself a bit but it should come to no one's surprise. Especially when both my mom and sister discuss extended family matters, my mom at times puts herself in any family member's place and if she deems it fit (because my mom has really good judgement) she think he/she is right to have that reaction, but with me both of them just think I'm always angry, upset and call me out right away. I'm sorry, but how is that fair? And while I know my reactions aren't exactly helping me either, I feel like I have to keep pretending everything is fine and move on. And I start to feel bad for my own sake because an attitude isn't gonna help me out, but when they do something that I'm not okay with I remember, 'Oh, wait, this is exactly why I'm always POed in the first place!'.
About a few months ago, I arranged a meet up with my friend to talk to him about this exact issue (if it's even okay to call it that) and I'm not sure if it's him just echoing what I keep telling myself, and if I was right all the time or something else.
However with all that said, I don't come from a broken home or anything of the sort, and I don't want caste them in the wrong light it's just...my mom at times can be quite the character and you can't really win. Somehow my sister caught my mom's genes, so by proxy I can't win with here either. But I'm not defending either of them, either, just myself because if I can be called out for being rude so can they. It's not like I even raise my voice either when I try to call them out, only asserting myself but they don't seem to view it like that; at least from my perspective.
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Unread 06-27-2018, 10:37 PM   #10347
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My friends...frustrate me. People in general do, but my friends especially.

I stopped making the extra efforts to stay in touch and make plans and now hardly anyone ever talks to me. I never hang out with anyone, I spend nearly all my time at home or at the rink. Which is fine because I would rather be skating anyway but I am angry that so many of them have the gall to be upset at me for not carrying the friendships along.

On top of that, I really hate summers. It is too hot here and my health always suffers for it because I cannot handle heat.
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Unread 07-01-2018, 04:48 PM   #10348
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Cloud syncing,transferring,backing up; any type of digital organizing is such a pain in the ass
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Unread 07-05-2018, 01:35 PM   #10349
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My friends...frustrate me. People in general do, but my friends especially.

I stopped making the extra efforts to stay in touch and make plans and now hardly anyone ever talks to me. I never hang out with anyone, I spend nearly all my time at home or at the rink. Which is fine because I would rather be skating anyway but I am angry that so many of them have the gall to be upset at me for not carrying the friendships along.

On top of that, I really hate summers. It is too hot here and my health always suffers for it because I cannot handle heat.
It took me a long time to realize who my real friends were, so I feel you. It's frustrating for sure, but real friends of course would not do that. People can be busy of course, but real friends would make efforts to get back to you in some way.
It's been hot over here too, but I can handle it (unless I'm sleeping). Needless to say to drink lots of water, but I assume you get some relief being at the ice rink, so that's a plus .

My own (new) rant, but I'll hide the text since I don't want to clog up the thread with my own drama, especially I've been on here more often that not. Highlight if you wanna read.
I inadvertently wake up at 7 in the morning and hear my mom coming home from work, and my sister is already awake because she gets up to go meet my mom at the bus stop. I hear both of them coming up the stairs and she opens the door to my room loudly and says something to me, and needless to say I was not happy about that because, well, I'm trying to go back to sleep. I wake up at 12, and my sister yet again comes in while I'm sleeping, although this time she didn't slam the door open (a slight exaggeration from earlier) and tells me to wake up.
I go to tell her off, and she immediately goes off on how 'yet again I get mad' and how I used to do the same to her. Yeah, I did. Then I stopped doing it because she, too was not happy about that so I stopped (and hence the previous rants, but I already covered that so I won't repeat myself). And she quickly tells me get out of her room, and that shows to me how immature she can be because if she can't handle when someone tells her off, and her immediate response is to get someone out of her room. I find it funny how it's only to me and not my mom or even my dad. I mentioned the maturity thing because I'm the one being serious when I'm unhappy about something, me being the one all hyper and giddy on a normal day yet this always seems to be my sister's immediate response. Wow. How ironic.

Edit:
Forgot to mention the fact that she's done this multiple times, not once yet says she 'only does it once and I get mad'.
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Unread 07-26-2018, 08:40 PM   #10350
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Do people in my area have to fucking slam their damn car doors every time they get in or come home? It's seriously nerving and it's starting to piss me off.
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