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Unread 04-27-2009, 03:18 PM   #1
Koru
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Meet-Ups vs. Hook-Ups (an informative guide for girls)

Greetings everyone ^_^ As Kon time draws rapidly closer I have decided to provide the curious female attendees with a bit of assistance to help make their A-Kon experience safer and more enjoyable. I will recieve much grief from some of my fellow male attendees for this >_> but herein I wish to point out the best ways to tell if a guy who approaches you is looking for the notorious Kon 'one night stand' or has genuine intentions of friendship or looking for a sound relationship.

I have had personal experience in this field as I observed a female friend of mine almost fall for a "hook-up guy" at a recent con, as well as (being a guy) sat down and listened to many others discuss how they operate. So enough of the intro, lets break it down:

How to Tell the Horn-Dogs from the Good-Dogs

1.) His Friends - First of all the popular good looking guy always comes with loads of 'bros'. If you've noticed this guy always travelling in a large group around the con keep that in mind. One big hint is if you're approached by lots-o-friends guy with his friends nowhere to be found. Somebody with genuine interest to talk to you wont mind if his friends are an ear shot away. The normal guy likely wants friends around to keep comfortable if hes nervous in approaching you. More often than not, playboy wants some time away from them to woo you solo.

2.) Discussions - This can be a big red flag. Lets not forget we are talking about an anime convention. The people who befriend you and/or are interested in you should more than likely discuss anime, j-rock/pop, kon happenings, etc. with you. If you find the guy you've let tag along with your group seems to be focused only on acquiring your personal stats (age, location, school/job, etc.) it's highly likely the guy is prowling A-kon no different than the club or bar he may go to otherwise.

3.) "The Lost Puppy"/Events - Any knowledgable guy who wants to know you for more than 2 days at a con will leave you alone for some breathing room and do his own thing with his friends. If you notice the "new friend" you've made has clung to you like a lost puppy he's using his short amount of con time to reach his goal. Another part of this is the events you go to. If your leech has no suggestion or regard for any event he goes to and only asks you "where we goin' next?" hes just 'being nice' and letting you enjoy your decision makers role while he tags along doing whatever to get more face time with you. The 'normal' guys will have a rough idea of a schedule and likely ask if you plan to do something and want to go with them to a panel or event somewhere they are planning to see.

4.) The Room # vs. the Phone # - I see this way too often and am amazed how many girls get it wrong. Believe it or not, the guy who wants your phone number is not the problem. If you've spent a few hours on friday with new friend and he asks for your cell number to keep in touch, don't sweat it. You can always ignore calls if you have a change of heart. But on the flip side I always see girls get talked in circles until they give out their room number. For NO reason should a guy without shady intentions ask for your room number. Unless you prompt him with a room party proposal and present the number, or something like that, the good boys know asking a girls room number is like asking her weight. For the 'bad-boys' getting this number is one of their primary goals.

5.) Super Speed - Last but not least is the rapidness of movement. This should really be the 1st on the list but the previous points help give a few bullet-points in the time bracket. The hook-up guy has from the 29th to the 31st to meet his goal. A guy with better intentions is in no hurry (hence why the phone number is important to the friend/girlfriend wanting guy) If you find that after knowing your new acquaintence for under 48 hours he knows more about you than one of your friends, or you know more about him than you know one of your friends, you've spent most of the con with him close by, or hes already tried the hand holding or arm locking, or whatever means to get touchy, your dealing with hook-up guy. Lets face it, at an anime con many of us arent the greatest social masters (especially guys) It's a majority of proud nerds only more comfortable socializing than usual because they're among fellow anime fans. The pure intentions guy will likely be more shy and not progress very fast at all. Getting a name and phone number, with a little chat time, is all alot of genuine guys want. Needless to say, pick-up guy wants you to think you have a boyfriend by Saturday night.

Well now, I hope this could be of some help. Keep in mind although this is the norm of how a majority of guys operate some do very different shady things (complex head games, drugs, etc.) so don't take these as the only methods of exploiting hook-up guy. (Also consider a couple of them may have read this guide) Use you're own senses too in every situation. After 2 years of psychology classes and a number of anime cons I've learned that the one thing that can fog even the wisest of individual's judgement is the prospect of love. Always be on your toes.

Overall I wish everyone the best of wishes in your A-Kon experience and beyond.
*ducks in preparation for beer cans to be angrily thrown at him* Take care all ^_^

- Your friendly neighborhood Soul Reaper, Ichigo.
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Unread 04-27-2009, 04:15 PM   #2
kawasaki_ichigo
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- Your friendly neighborhood Soul Reaper, Ichigo.

nice lol
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Unread 04-27-2009, 04:31 PM   #3
PhoenixFilms
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Very good guide, girls should really take it to heart. As for me, as a guy, I'm never too worried about hooking up with anyone, even at a con. Sure, I'll flirt, but I usually don't even go as far as asking for a phone number, usually just flirting and and then wishing them a good rest of con, moving on.

Usually at cons though, if you see someone who seems like the popular prep type, they usually aren't there for anime. I knew a guy last year who had a great Sasuke cosplay, but he only made it to hook up with anime girls (he was a prick btw). I may be cosplaying Raven from Tales of Vesperia, but if I'm overtly flirting, it's all just being in character (Raven's a ladies man).
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Unread 04-27-2009, 06:23 PM   #4
seto_kaiba_36
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Exclamation

not just for girls but huys need something like this to after all guys tend to run in to thsoe type of girls as well

i know i have ran in to a lot of issues last year with this stuff and people who dont wanna be friends out of con life ether so i think we all might wanna make rules for conlife
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Unread 04-27-2009, 06:30 PM   #5
Amiyuri
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I've also come to see that this applies to the flip side of things. Every Kon at one chick seems to follow me, like a guy would. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate it, but love and a hook up are definitely different.

BTW this is coming from a lez perspective.
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Unread 04-28-2009, 07:23 AM   #6
kawasaki_ichigo
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PhoenixFilms View Post
Very good guide, girls should really take it to heart. As for me, as a guy, I'm never too worried about hooking up with anyone, even at a con. Sure, I'll flirt, but I usually don't even go as far as asking for a phone number, usually just flirting and and then wishing them a good rest of con, moving on.

Usually at cons though, if you see someone who seems like the popular prep type, they usually aren't there for anime. I knew a guy last year who had a great Sasuke cosplay, but he only made it to hook up with anime girls (he was a prick btw). I may be cosplaying Raven from Tales of Vesperia, but if I'm overtly flirting, it's all just being in character (Raven's a ladies man).
i agree with you, if you are cosplaying and your character's personalitly is like that then i can understand and i'll even roleplay along, i love when other characters come up acting like their character and just start rping cuase its fun to jump right in
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Unread 04-28-2009, 01:53 PM   #7
mindtailor
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This thread is a good idea, especially for the younger, high school and middle school age girls (and guys!) that may not ever have gone to a convention before.

I say use common sense. If you or your friends think someone is following a little too eagerly or asking a few too many personal questions, tell them to leave you alone. If they're creeping you out or they don't seem to take the hint, tell security. They'll help you sort it out. This applies to people of any gender. If someone creeps you out (and not in just an oblique "We just passed this guy that smells like he hasn't showered in a month and is carrying a doll he thinks is a child" way), TELL SOMEBODY.

Also, it is a very bad idea to let someone you just met at the con have your room number or even let them follow you up to your room. They may be a perfectly nice, trustworthy person, but you should be careful until you've known them for more than the 3 day span of a con.

I'm not trying to say there are a lot of creeps like that at cons. I'm just saying that using common sense and going with friends is the best way to have a great, safe time at the convention.
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Unread 04-29-2009, 03:50 AM   #8
Arakhne
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Thank you so much for posting. I've seen way too many of these types of guys and way too many younger girls letting them cling to them. And had to issue them the "I'm the bitch, get away from my innocent friend" bodyguard type spiel.

Like mindtailor said, if there is some guy that is just following you around everywhere, telling security is the best idea. If you're too shy to do that or can't get him to go away long enough to, go hide in a girl's bathroom for a little bit. Or get another friend to distract him while you make your escape, then rendezvous back in the room or at another panel, or, best idea, go let security know about the creepy stalker guy prowling the con.
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Unread 04-29-2009, 11:58 AM   #9
seto_kaiba_36
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Exclamation

well i will ay i flirt but i dont like the hole idea of just random hook ups i like makeing friends and seeing where things go i am way to shy for hook ups anyway


but yea again i think every one dose ened to setup there rules


as for mine i am working on a list right now do to 2 girls form 2 differnt conts last year ( long and horrible storys )
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Unread 04-29-2009, 11:16 PM   #10
vietgirl018
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well ive been told i look 14-16 years old when im 18 years old soon-to-be 19.

haha

So i dont really have this problem much. I think guys are scared to come up to me >.<
I way too shy to make first move on talking to someone.
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Unread 04-30-2009, 06:46 AM   #11
choi911
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hey hey i think ur underestimating the fellas! what about all the girls who want(attack) the guys cuz they are "KAWAII" *Glomp*?
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Unread 04-30-2009, 07:44 AM   #12
Ryochan
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Two things

1. Koru is very right about trusting your feelings. I don't know HOW many times I've felt something just wasn't right but ignored it thinking that I simply wasn't giving the other person a chance, only to find out that the strange feeling in me is 100% accurate, and that the person who I let into my personal space, now won't leave me alone! (Or thinks he can hook up with me when it's obvious I'm not interested)

2. Something else I have noticed for girls who go in groups (this is from a girl's perspective, so please correct me if I'm wrong)...

The Pick-up Guy will try to get in with the whole group, or whoever seems the most interested in him. Since his only goal is to get something from a female, it really doesn't matter if it's the one he chose, or their friend if all of them are somewhat cute. One would think this was an obvious thing, of course, but a lot of people are easily swayed by flattery and will over look it.

I'd offer advice on girls and how they attempt to hook-up, but I've never been a very normal girl and I don't go for hook-ups/can't stand that sort.

Hope to see everyone there!
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Unread 05-04-2009, 07:02 PM   #13
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wow i didnt think guys would go to a con for a 1 night stand lol thats a funny thought
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Unread 05-04-2009, 08:52 PM   #14
PhoenixFilms
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Quote:
Originally Posted by crimsonvz View Post
wow i didnt think guys would go to a con for a 1 night stand lol thats a funny thought
Most don't, but there's a lot who do.

...then there's the people who scoff at guys and their one night stands and continue to browse the hentai table
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Unread 05-04-2009, 09:14 PM   #15
Takura
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PhoenixFilms View Post
Most don't, but there's a lot who do.

...then there's the people who scoff at guys and their one night stands and continue to browse the hentai table

Nothin wrong with browsing the hentai table.. lol Im too noticeable to stalk anyone though
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