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[playmysitardemy]

Originally Posted by Fabulousity

Woah, woah, woah, what?!?!?! Please tell me that was a really distasteful joke and that you weren't serious!!!

Could be. My mom was that way. Hit me or something then tell me to shut the hell up because I was making too much noise.

[Moonsong]

Originally Posted by Lithium Flower

Wow your turning 18 and she behaves like that :/ maybe she's just scared that her little muffin is growing up and soon to be going out into the big bad world and doesn't know how to handle that?

I'm 21 and my mom behaves the same way (worse, really. She gets insulting, personal, and downright nasty.) My dad's girlfriend suggested that my mom is just worried that I'm growing up and all that, but I'm sorry, parents who do this should find a productive or at least a less hurtful way to express their concern.

I got sent off to NYAF/Comic Con in tears because my mother insulted me on the entire car ride to the train station, saying how I don't deserve to go, I'm probably going to get drunk and pregnant, and she's never giving me another dime. (At the time, I was out of work, so that automatically means I'm a horribly lazy person who will leech off of her forever, apparently.) I would have appreciated a "Hey, have a good time, but next time you have to pay for everything yourself." Fine! I understand that, and that's reasonable, but I feel like my mom couldn't care less whether or not I end up raped or with my teeth knocked out, quite frankly.

And believe me, if I could afford to move out, I would. I owe my school close to $1000, and yet I've given 75% of my paychecks to her since starting my job for bills and whatnot. However, she called me spoiled and selfish last night for wanting to buy a new cosplay. I only own one complete cosplay, and she thinks it's pefectly fine and sanitary to wear it for three days at a con. My reward for helping her to not lose this house is getting screamed at for everything under the sun. If I clean the kitchen, it's not good enough, because I didn't vaccuum the floor.

Maybe someday I'll strike it rich.

/rant.

[Lithium Flower]

Originally Posted by Moonsong

I'm 21 and my mom behaves the same way (worse, really. She gets insulting, personal, and downright nasty.) My dad's girlfriend suggested that my mom is just worried that I'm growing up and all that, but I'm sorry, parents who do this should find a productive or at least a less hurtful way to express their concern..

It's not an excuse, but perhaps at least a reasoning. It's complete shit either way O_< I've gotten a job and I haven't been scheduled to work AT ALL yet, but my mother argued with me that I need a job. When I kindly reminded her I have a job and that it was one SHE F-ING FORCED ME TO APPLY FOR (I am 21 for godsake I was bullied into it by my mother)and she's now is complaining isn't good enough. I didn't even WANT the goddamn job yet! I was going to apply for winter classes at the community college and I'd applied for Finical Aid.Now since the years over I have to fill it out all over again.... It would have paid for all my classes with some pocket money left over (they usually assume the student is living alone and thus you tend to get more money to cover everything) while I got a job I actually wanted. I even get a little bit extra from another program because my fathers a veteran. But she goddamn bullied me into apply for this job and now yells that I don't have a job at all somehow? She complained I was sitting at home all day as if I somehow CHOSE to not get any hours.

I've been trying to get driving again but she's said she doesn't want me to get my drivers license because her insurance would go up O_< I can drive but only with an adult in the car. So I've asked her to take me to a local Japanese corner store to get some munchies and lunch making goodness I can't get anywhere else. But despite talking about going out all night for two days she refuses to go at all until she's going to damn well feel like going. Even when she wakes me up to tell me "Get dressed we're going to _place she feels like going_"and I damn well get dressed and go with her.

I know that I shouldn't blow up at her, but tonight it felt really good to tell her off for a bit. Because I am getting sick of her bullying me around like I am still 15 years old. Of her outright lying saying she's asked my sister to look for a car for me (she's a mechanic as is her husband) and I find out she never did. That my sister her husband told me she talks like she wants me to stay dependent on her. So somehow I felt really nice to tell her to just sod off for ONCE in my life.

[Kildread]

Relations with parents get better once you move out and no longer need to depend on them (Living outside the home while still being sustained by them changes nothing).

Either because you (and them) no longer need to bear with each other every day at home. And then can have good conversations (Like me with my father).

Or because you no longer need to interact with each other and keep contact as curt and concise as possible (Like me with my mother)

No, they're not divorced, I'm just more open with my dad :P

EDIT: Oh wait, I already posted something to this effect in here. Well --- at least I'm consistent!

[SweetOcarina]

Originally Posted by Kildread

Relations with parents get better once you move out and no longer need to depend on them (Living outside the home while still being sustained by them changes nothing).

This.

I have a good relationship with my mom when she's about an hour's drive away. I find her much more comfortable to talk to. I share a lot with her. We call each other about three times a week and sit down for about an hour to chat each time. I wouldn't say I 'tell her everything' but I do get a chance to vent in a way that I can't with my friends.

When I lived with her I just got annoyed with her incessant nagging. Also, because I lived there, she didn't put time aside just for us to sit and chat. It would always be conversations while doing chores or eating, rather than us saying 'Oh you know what, for an hour we're just going to sit down and talk'.

It gets better when you move out. Trust me.