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[Crusader_8]

Let's see if this picks up steam...

If you have a bad joke that no one else wants (which happens often), deposit it in this thread and give that joke a good home.

FIRST MAJOR RULE: DON'T POST A JOKE THAT'S ALREADY POSTED. I cannot emphasize this enough!

Our first joke:
Eager to discuss politics, a friend once asked Miyamoto whether he was left wing or right wing. Miyamoto laughed, replying, "actually, I'm a member of the Mario Party."

[Cadmium Polyphony]

A guy walks into a bar and chats it up with a woman. The woman, rejecting his advances retorts to him "I'm sorry, I'm celibate."

The man continues flirting, and the woman repeats in a louder tone, "Didn't you hear? I'm celibate!"

The man replies, "Lady, whether you sell a bit, or sell a lot, just tell me how much it costs."

[doxiequeen1]

This thread is a bad joke.


doucwatididthere?


I just had to say that before someone else did XD *goes to lurk in corner*

[Shuko]

I've got one. It's my grandma's favorite... >_> I made it up for her when I was in Jr. High (as a joke... oh snap! Joke recursion!), and she's used it as her trademark joke ever since. *facepalm*

Person 1: Wanna hear a dirty joke?
Person 2: Okay. Let's hear it.
Person 1: Three pigs are sitting in some mud. One of them says something funny, and they laugh.
Person 2: ...

Oh, it's so bad... It hurts my sense of humor to share it, too. It actually physically hurts it. Maybe I should go heal it with some Ouran. :x

[UsakoLuna]

Person telling "joke": "Did you hear about that actress who got stabbed? I can never remember her name. It's Reese something or other... She was in "Legally Blonde"..."
Person being subjected to "joke": "Witherspoon?"
Person telling "joke": No, she was stabbed with a knife!

I appologize

[Shuko]

Originally Posted by UsakoLuna

Person telling "joke": "Did you hear about that actress who got stabbed? I can never remember her name. It's Reese something or other... She was in "Legally Blonde"..."
Person being subjected to "joke": "Witherspoon?"
Person telling "joke": No, she was stabbed with a knife!

I appologize

Oh dear... I actually laughed...

Does that mean my sense of humor is borked? D:

[nannyogg]

My favorite bad joke is this one:

One day, a man was walking down the street in the big city, followed by a line of several little penguins! People were staring, drivers were craning their necks to see, and cars were crashing left and right as people stared at the man and the penguins, nonchalantly strolling along the sidewalk.
Finally, a police officer arrived on the scene and boomed at the man, "Sir! I must have you take those penguins to the zoo!!"
The man blinked apologetically, and said, "Of course officer! To the zoo!" And he and the penguins walked off toward the zoo.
The next day... the officer arrives to the same scene... man and penguins strolling down the sidewalk, passersby gawking, traffic in a snarl... except, each one of the penguins are wearing little sunglasses and carrying little towels.
The officer booms, "Sir! I told you to take those penguins to the zoo!"
The man smiles wide and says, "Of course, officer! And they had such a great time, that today I am taking them to the pool!"

[smilestyle]

Ooh, my favorite:

"Researchers say they've discovered a volcano that could destroy Italy as soon as today. The volcano says 'No, I lava this country!'"

Everyone groans whenever I tell it.

[UC77]

I made this up when I was reading Julius Caesar:

What happened when Caesar was stabbed by the Senate?
They gave him the floor. *wink*

[Crusader_8]

Truth be told, bad jokes are good BECAUSE they're bad. The joke I started the thread with came to me when I was looking at all the mario games at my gamestop. I immediately told it to my coworker, who exclaimed, "I hate you because I can't un-hear that!"

Here's an older joke of mine:
QUESTION: what's the fruitiest country in the world?
ANSWER:

SPOILER: (highlight to read)

---

the banana republic!

---

[ShinobiXikyu]

Here's mine;
If lettuce and a carrot ran a race, who would win?
The lettuce, because it's a head. XD

[C. Marie]

There's always the old standby.

A man walks into a bar...

...ouch.

[nannyogg]

Originally Posted by C. Marie

There's always the old standby.

A man walks into a bar...

...ouch.

Oh, that reminds me of this one...

"A dyslexic man walks into a bra..."

[HomeDepot]

The setting: my boyfriend and I looking at an advertisement for "Gnomeo and Juliet".

Boyfriend: Let's not go see that
Me: Hey, I bet they're gonna have a TURF war!
Boyfriend:...

[UsakoLuna]

Did you hear about the paranoid dyslexic? He thought he was following someone.

I don't have OCD, I have CDO. It's the same as OCD but the letters are in order LIKE THEY SHOULD BE

Did you know Helen Keller had a dollhouse in her backyard? No? well neither did she!

(my friends have terrible senses of humor, terrible)