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Unread 04-04-2013, 09:51 AM   #67936
Lithium Flower
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Alright so this is what Brando and I where able to catch last night:

At some point the girlfriend was in the drivers seat of her or his car and he leaned through the passenger end and punched her. She had an ice pack on her face in the parking lot while talking to the cops, and likely was seen by a paramedic since an ambulance showed up. I am assuming she was examined at the hospital for 'official record' kinda stuff. Four cop cars, one a large van, where in the parking lot and some cops where looking around the front of the building with flashlights. Brando caught the original cop say it was domestic abuse, talk about him punching her and that sorta stuff.

At first I think they where looking for the boyfriend but Brando saw him outside with the cops some time later. I am not sure if he took off or something originally and decided to come back to the apartment?

One or both of them punched out the window of one of the cars in the parking lot and glass was all over near the door. They left last night with the cops and I haven't heard or seen them back since. I am assuming that she's pressing charges.

Earlier in the day I heard the girl come banging on the guy's door and they where arguing in the parking lot. I caught a bit of the conversation from her end, something about him never being home at night (he's told us two different stories about where he's at during the night as well) and I saw a woman in a white car drive off. But she might have been unrelated to this because the man was leaning through the passenger side looking like he was talking to someone in the drivers seat. I thought I heard a weird sound that honestly might have been one of them slapping the other. Then both of them disappeared for the rest of the night.

I think the girl who drove off before was someone he was cheating on the girlfriend with, and the girlfriend drove off with him shortly after.

When Brando was leaving to go grab take out last night he was leaving at the same time as the boyfriend and said he was in an insanely bad mood. Brandon witnessed him slamming and kicking the entryway front door from outside as he pulled out of the parking lot. It was shortly after he got home and we began to have dinner that he noticed the cop cars and all that stuff.

So.
WOW.

I really REALLY hope that girl is okay and any injuries she's suffered will be taken care of. I also REALLY hope she presses charges against this first class douchebag and none of us ever have to see him again.

On a slightly selfish note, I really hope that she presses charges so that he doesn't come back to the apartment and continues living below us. Because I really don't want to be home alone all day with that asshole downstairs knowing that I am alone here. I've mentioned a few times that he's showed up at the door with these cockeyed stories about why he needs to come inside for something like using the phone or whatever. One time he showed up with the girl from last night and Brandon answered the door. The boyfriend seemed put off and asked for some tinfoil and when Brando asked how much he needed the guy didn't even know and just said "Not too much" or something. I was in the kitchen, so he couldn't even see me. But it was so weird.
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Unread 04-04-2013, 12:03 PM   #67937
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@Lithium: Holy butts, that is messed up. Hopefully she's alright, and things go alright with all that. With how the guy was acting, I don't blame you for hoping he never comes back! If the police come by to talk to you about the situation leading up to the incident, I'd definitely mention that behavior as well.


Oh, I totally just realized my bf's birthday is next Friday... so I ordered him some tee shirts that I hope make it here in time, ha ha. He's in terrible need of shirts, I think every single one of his have a hole or a stain on it, or fits him a bit snug because the brand shrinks alot on the first wash and he didn't take that into account.

That, and R2-D2 boxers. Because. They're funny.
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Unread 04-04-2013, 01:02 PM   #67938
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Shit. That sucks for your neighbors. I hope she presses charges too.
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Unread 04-04-2013, 01:11 PM   #67939
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I know that just made me sound fucking awful
Not really :/

Violence isn't just something men do.
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Unread 04-04-2013, 02:25 PM   #67940
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Not really :/

Violence isn't just something men do.
Just curious - how many times have either of you been physically threatened by a women? For me, that number is zero. How many times have either of you been physically threatened by a man? For me, well, I'd have to think back on too many unpleasant experiences, so I'll just say plenty. And that's not even counting the times that I have had my butt or boobs grabbed some guy who probably didn't think of that as threatening. My point is, I'm not disagreeing with either or you, but the amount of violence in the world done by women comes nowhere near the amount done by men, so let's not make false equivalencies. There is also the fact that the average man can kill the average woman with his bare hands. The reverse of that is not true. My husband has 80lbs and 1 foot on me. If he punched me he would break my jaw. I couldn't do the same to him unless I was wielding a 2x4.
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Unread 04-04-2013, 02:50 PM   #67941
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So... this was my day.

http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/n...unman/2053197/
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Unread 04-04-2013, 02:51 PM   #67942
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Buried under a ship-ton of paperwork today. *cries out from her cubicle/box* Save me!
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Unread 04-04-2013, 03:36 PM   #67943
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The "men shouldn't hit women" argument isn't about a man defending himself from a woman trying to stab/shoot/otherwise kill him. We all know this.
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Unread 04-04-2013, 04:16 PM   #67944
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Quote:
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Just curious - how many times have either of you been physically threatened by a women? For me, that number is zero.
Several times in my younger days.

One such story: When I was in 3rd year of primary school, one of them physically reached to me, with no prior contact and clawed at my face. My reflex was similar to her's, we both ended wounded in similar ways and I got extra homework for something that involved someone I had never interacted with.

To this day, I don't know what triggered it or why I got a punishment out of it.

I've also had female occupants of nearby lockers who broke into mine and made off with things, then flaunted it to me directly. I've had a locker door smashed in my face by the girl using the one next to mine.

...and the list goes on. (And I honestly don't like recalling these events)

..

In my experience, there's no gender difference, it's not something that's okay to be dealt to me because so many more men are violent --- from my perspective, both men and women were violent. Maybe it was because I was a pushover back then, dunno. As an adult, I've never had issues with women like I had when I was younger.

I remember going for help on such cases and being told to toughen up, because I was a guy. The most obnoxious played the 'white male' card.

Last edited by Kildread : 04-04-2013 at 04:21 PM.
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Unread 04-04-2013, 04:30 PM   #67945
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kildread View Post
Several times in my younger days.
As an adult, have you ever had an adult female threaten you? Have you ever had a grown woman put her hands on you to keep you from getting away? Have you ever had a grown woman threaten to rape you? Have you ever run from a woman in terror because you feared for your life? I have dealt with all these things, except it wasn't a woman threatening me with violence. So, yes. Some women are violent and crazy. Anyone, male or female, would be justified in using violence against them in self-defense if it came to it. But let's not pretend that violence from women is something that most adults have to worry about on a day to day basis. Violence from men is. At least if you are a woman.
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Unread 04-04-2013, 04:39 PM   #67946
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kildread View Post
it's not something that's okay to be dealt to me because so many more men are violent ---
No one said that it was. That's so obvious that it wasn't necessary for anyone to say it expressly.

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from my perspective, both men and women were violent. Maybe it was because I was a pushover back then, dunno.
Both men and women have the capacity for violence certainly, but you only need to look at crime and prison statistics or read any newspaper to see which gender is responsible for the majority of violent crime. That doesn't mean that all men are violent. Again, duh.

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As an adult, I've never had issues with women like I had when I was younger.
If I were to list all the instances of abuse that I suffered at the hands of school boys, I'd be here all day. I can't be bothered because it was minor compared to things that happened to me later.

Last edited by The Hag : 04-04-2013 at 04:47 PM.
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Unread 04-04-2013, 04:46 PM   #67947
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I am really busy washing my hands today, that's all I'm saying.
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Unread 04-04-2013, 04:54 PM   #67948
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Violence from men is. At least if you are a woman.
And you're correct --- none of these things happened in adulthood.

And I'll also never be a woman.

And I'll also never be that man.

The closest I can describe what I feel right now is aversion --- whenever the subject of "gender violence" comes up, I remember what I lived back then, what I felt and what other people told me. In my head, it amounted to "you're a healthy white man, you can take it, I don't see the problem.", which I am heavily against.

So when the argument about the majority of situations involving men being violent towards women, I want to disagree, just because I believe I'm not an exception and that there are other people who have, will or are living similar situations I did, while being of the different race or gender. You tell me violence from men is more frequent, well, it is.

The irony is that I don't even believe words mean anything in favor or against. It's all just words and the only things that matter are what actions we take.

...

In fact, I'm much calmer now, feels like I just needed to type it to remind me. I want things to be better for everyone. So... nevermind.

Last edited by Kildread : 04-04-2013 at 04:57 PM.
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Unread 04-04-2013, 05:16 PM   #67949
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So...how're the horses, Red Sox Nation?

EDIT: Damn, just read the link. Glad you're okay.
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If this weren't tje internet id hug all of you guys right now.
Especishillly you sam.
Like a woodpecker with a headache...
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Unread 04-04-2013, 05:17 PM   #67950
The Hag
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Originally Posted by Kildread View Post
The closest I can describe what I feel right now is aversion --- whenever the subject of "gender violence" comes up, I remember what I lived back then, what I felt and what other people told me. In my head, it amounted to "you're a healthy white man, you can take it, I don't see the problem.", which I am heavily against.
I would think that the attitude you encountered of "man up" would make you more inclined to sympathesize with what women go through because it comes from the same gender stereotypical attitudes which are just as restricting for men as they are for women. Look, I don't trivialize what you as an individual went through. It was shitty and you didn't deserve it. No one does. But there are people who, as a group, have it much worse. Things that I went through seem minor to me in comparison to what other people I know have had to deal with.

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In fact, I'm much calmer now, feels like I just needed to type it to remind me.
I'm so glad, because really it's all about you and your feelings!

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I want things to be better for everyone. So... nevermind.
As do I, but it takes more than wanting to make it so.
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