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Unread 11-01-2003, 10:51 PM   #1
Sellafine
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Unhappy Need help...serious problem about crossplay

Yeah,I really want to know , how you explain about crossplay to people who didn’t know anything about cosplay ( especially crossplay ) . I’ve got serious problems here…. A few days ago when I do editing on my crossplay photos , some friends ( not my close friend) saw it , and after that , they think I’m a lesbian , and now it become worst , I heard some boys were talking about me too , they say “She’s a freak , she look so feminine but she like to wear a creppy guy dress!” . My best friend keep saying “Do not listening to such a cruel gossip”… but still…I can’t just close my ears ….It’s really hurt me , I don't hate gay people but I’m NOT a gay , and I don’t know how to face my parents if they heard this…..
So,do you have any solution or maybe you guys ever had a problem like this…? Please tell me , I’m really stuck here…
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Unread 11-02-2003, 01:47 AM   #2
vash_humanoid
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uhh wow, hmmm i really dont know what to do. i mean i guess all u can do is tell them, but i doubt they would listen. what u can do is find a guy friend and walk down the halls holding his had or hugging him or sumthing in school. that woud prolly change there minds. im sry i dont have anyhitng to say i really feel ur pain, same thing hapened to me. well kinda the blackmailed me and it eventually didnt get out. i feel really bad for u. i wish people could just understand ainstead of being oppritunists of being idiots. i reallllly hope i hlped i guess its kinda hard seeing im a guy and i dont really know what girls say behind peoples back but i hope i hlped.
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Unread 11-02-2003, 07:23 AM   #3
Fault
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I really do suggest explaining. At least to those whose opinions really matter to you. Let everyone else sit and swivel.

Everyone who I've explained crossplay to still thinks it's kinda weird, but afterwards they saw it as a harmless hobby, and not something to get excited about.
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Unread 11-02-2003, 09:14 AM   #4
Menchi
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for a girl is alot easier to be a tomboy, but all things being i woud jus ignore those who question your taste in costumes i know a fair amount of girls who go as male chars...hardly girly girls too. but hardly lesbians. if ppl really think your a lesbian an call ya a freak they arent your friend an arent worth worryin about.

part of the prob in this society is the xtain dominance an gender related issues. the whole "girls must be shy an submisive an feminine" and "guys have to be manly an be dominant, an make decisions" is so harsh an outdated. its my belief that if you as a girl wanna be a tom boy go for it. if your a guy an wana be sensitive...an caring an emotive there isnt anything wrong with it. ppl jus tend to get stuck in gender/sexuality stereotypes too easily...so forget what they say about ya, rumors are usually spread to be hurtful an make you feel bad/odd...so if ya dont let i get to ya they are waasting their time and lose in the end. ^^
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Unread 11-02-2003, 10:31 AM   #5
Susumari
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wow...now that's really mean. ppl at my school wouldn't care. but like at least everyone during one time....i would see a guy dressed in a dress.
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Unread 11-02-2003, 04:48 PM   #6
Karisu-sama
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It could be your location - you say you are in Indonesia, not America or Europe....

There are a lot of older ideas and wrong stereotypes about men and women that still remain in some places in this world. (Even in more remote places in America! )

If it helps, tell them about me: I am a costumer and a cosplayer. Some of the costumes I do are "girl costumes", and some of them (and I try to do them VERY WELL! ) are those of characters who are guys. I happen to like the characters, so I like to costume as them.

When I am not at a convention or costuming event, though, I wear my own "girl clothes" and I am happily married (yes, to a man ~__^ ) and the mother of two lovely children.

A costume is only a costume. The character's personality, looks, sex, gender, etc. belong only to the character - one can NOT make any judgement about the person wearing the costume, because that judgement can easily not be at all true.

Plenty of women who wear "guy costumes" are not gay, and yes, there are straight men who may wear "girl costumes" too. (And the poor men get a LOT more assumptions of being gay for that than women do! )

Straight people crossplay. Gay people crossplay. The costume can NOT tell you who is who. No one should be assumed to be anything - it's silly to so that.

Last edited by Karisu-sama : 11-02-2003 at 04:51 PM.
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Unread 11-03-2003, 06:04 AM   #7
Sellafine
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Thanks for the suggestion guys ....but Karisu-sama is right, it's about my country , people here not as open minded as in another country (Malaysya and Singapore is much much better).....
Well,at first they say I'm a psycho , freak or somethin cruel like that because I'm cosplaying as female character, and now they say I'm a gay because I'm crossplaying.... -->Almost all people here hate gay people (that's why... ) and if my parents hear about this...maybe it will be a the end of the world for me , they won't listen to any argument why I make a guy costume ( my parents are asian),and they really want me to act normal like the other girl in my country..
Karisu sama-->I think I'll try to tell both my friends and my parents about you ( so they don't always think that crossplay is abnormal) . BTW I'm a little jealous with your daughters , they have a great mother who really open minded and an awesome cosplayer too .... my mom'll never ever be like that..
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Unread 11-03-2003, 10:33 AM   #8
yukitoLeonheart
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yea Karisu is the bomb at crossplay and her world knowledge is amazing............... gives her Mother of the YEar award.......... anyway, I had some pretty funky things happen when I did a photo shoot in crossplay near my house just this morning........... oh man........ but don't worry, you know who you are and in reality that's all that matters, and people who would judge you differently are of poor quality, it's all about content of character in real life, NE?
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Unread 11-06-2003, 04:22 AM   #9
Merle-kun
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There's always the other route of blaming it on Halloween. I don't know if your country celebrates it, but if not, you can always lie a bit more and say you did it to try and win a contest online. I know lying isn't the best option, but sometimes people would rather hear a lie than the truth. And as long as you're lying for the best, I think it's alright.

But if you want someone else to show to your parents, you're welcome to show them my website. It'll show them guys dress up too =3

I've had to put up with people thinking I'm gay since I crossplay. I used to get asked it a lot at conventions, and still do, but not as much. Even my former boss, of IC Entertainment (a manga company here in the US) constantly asked me if I was gay each day for like a month or two. Some people will simply believe what they want to, so you have to be prepared for that. All you can do is try to explain things (lie or not) and hope things calm down. But either way, things will calm down eventually. I know I had bad things happen to me in the past that I never thought would go away, and they did.

But anyway, I hope I was of some help... and good luck getting things settled down! =3 Oh, and I like your avatar =3 If that's you, great work! ^^
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Unread 11-06-2003, 06:05 PM   #10
Sellafine
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Thanks , Merle-Kun....!!
Yeah the avatar is my pic crossplay as Lu Xun ..
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