I understand completely. Been there, am there again. Sadly, if you aren't going to take it to court, there isn't much else to be done if you've tried PayPal and your bank or credit card company. I hate to say you're going to just have to bite the bullet because I typically refuse to. Depending how late in the game it is though, if court is out of the question...you're pretty much out of luck I think. Stalking her and harassing her won't get you anywhere, but a restraining order, lol. I'm all for messaging and whatnot, but not sure what your next step could be if she's now ignoring you, sadly.
Seems like everyone is starting to scam all of a sudden, even commissioners with a decent reputation.