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Unread 11-28-2003, 12:33 PM   #1
BIOJECT
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Why does it seem like every male crossplayer is gay? No offense...

I've been spending months trying to enlighten my friends that crossplaying is awesome and that it takes balls to dress up as the opposite sex. They reply that they still won't hang with me during the expo and that I still would be gay. Now I really don't want any offense taken from this topic because I have no problem with gays. It's just... well... every guy I've seen on this board who does crossplay is and well it doesn't help when your trying to get your friends to support you for doing something out of the ordinary.
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Unread 11-28-2003, 12:41 PM   #2
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Oh and on a rating from 1-10, how do you like my Deedlit gif? She's the character I'm going to crossplay as. My friends think I'm not feminine enough to play the character but I consider that part of the challenge.
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Unread 11-28-2003, 12:44 PM   #3
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I love your deedlit! Loddoss War was a really great series, and I haven't seen too many Deedlit's out there. I can't wait to see your completed costume!

As for all crossplayers being gay, I really don't know too much about that, as I don't know many crossplayers. But anyway, more power to you! I have nothing against crossplaying, as long as its tastefully done. Perhaps once you've done it your friends will warm up to the idea. It may just be so new to them that they're afraid to accept it and therefore reject it.

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Unread 11-28-2003, 01:07 PM   #4
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I was referring more to the people on the crossplay forum. (I accidently posted this in the wrong forum lol) ALL of the guys I've seen on there admit they are gay.
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Unread 11-28-2003, 01:30 PM   #5
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> Why does it seem like only gays crossplay?

Just plain old stereotyping and prejudice.

> They reply that they still won't hang with me during the expo and that I still would be gay for some reason.

It's not your friends who can tell you if you are gay or not. That only you can assess.

And if they don't want to hang out with someone that "looks" gay (by their standards) they surely wouldn't hang out with someone who happened to actually BE gay, and that means THEY are the ones with a problem.

Don't let their bigotry dictate your actions.

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Unread 11-28-2003, 02:11 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BIOJECT
I've been spending months trying to enlighten my friends that crossplaying is awesome and that it takes balls to dress up as the opposite sex. They reply that they still won't hang with me during the expo and that I still would be gay for some reason. Now I really don't want any offense taken from this topic because I have no problem with gays, It's just... well... every guy I've seen on this board who does crossplay is and it doesn't help when your trying to get your friends to support you for doing something out of the ordinary.
Umm... I'm not gay.... Menchi isn't gay... Merle-kun isn't gay (he's quite desperate for a girl, actually! ~_^)... Jazon Bladen isn't gay...
Some of us are a little bit more androgynous and femme, but not gay.
Come to think of it, I can't really think of any guy crossplayers on here who ARE gay. The one obviously gay one is hesistant about crossplay, actually...

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Unread 11-28-2003, 03:17 PM   #7
Lyn
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And there's also Will...uh...don't remember his cosplay.com username but he did a skit at Otakon where he was crossplaying as Sakura from CardCaptor Sakura and the first thing he said was "Let's get one thing straight. I am not gay. I like girls. A lot. I like them so much, I sometimes dress up like them." I thought that was a very good quote for those non-gay crossplayers.

Now, quite honestly, I see an equal amount of both non-gay and gay crossplayers. I've conversed at cons and on the boards with plenty on both ends. Both guys and girls alike. So far I really can't say that either sexuality is dominant. And I also think it really shouldn't matter.
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Unread 11-28-2003, 09:38 PM   #8
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I belive that would be uneducated stereotypes that people make.
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Unread 11-28-2003, 09:43 PM   #9
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Well if your lame "friends" won't hang out with you at cons, then come with us!!!
It's sorta sad that a girl can go as a male character and no one says a thing, but male crossplayers get crap dished to them. I think that really sucks. The only time I get upset with males crossplaying is when they make way prettier girls than I, hehe.
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Unread 11-28-2003, 11:28 PM   #10
Gren
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I don't know a single gay crossplayer... I know a few girls who are bi... but many many more who are straight.

It's just blind prejudice to think "Oh, he's wearing a pink frilly skirt, and attempting to fool people into thinking he is a woman. Obviously this would be because he likes the boys"

As a matter of fact, I think cross dressing is one of the most illogical things a gay man could ever do to get men's attention. The gay men won't be interested, and the straight ones can only be fooled to the point of undressing, tops.
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Unread 11-29-2003, 01:26 AM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BIOJECT
I've been spending months trying to enlighten my friends that crossplaying is awesome and that it takes balls to dress up as the opposite sex. They reply that they still won't hang with me during the expo and that I still would be gay. Now I really don't want any offense taken from this topic because I have no problem with gays. It's just... well... every guy I've seen on this board who does crossplay is and well it doesn't help when your trying to get your friends to support you for doing something out of the ordinary.
It seems to be that your socalled "friends" are bigoted & homophobic. If your 'friends' think anyone who is different is gay, then what someone despises the most they are most likely are to be.

I wouldnt call the 'friends' you got here friends at all. A friend is suppose to be there for you & back you up no matter what happens.


No person can just suddenly become gay. You cannot suddenly change who you are attracted to at the drop of a hat. You either are gay or you are not.


Guys who try to be hyper masculine are trying to hide something or make up for something.
All humans display masculine & feminine traits. some display more of one that the other.
Western society has come to the point where society trys to fit all males with nothing but masculine traits & as uncaring, unfeeling throwbacks of our ancestors(ie cave men). All of the males who feel that they must hide something(a weakness they see in themselves) tend to become over/hyper masculine in an attempt to hide what they see as weaknesses. This trend has been carried on for decades where little boys are indocrinated to think that displaying any emotions at all(like love, feeling, crying, etc..) is a sign of weakness & attributed to them being girls.

Attributing males to open displays of feelings is severly punished(peer pressure) by the other males around them. If the lone males carries on with displaying feelings, they are seen as being a girl or being gay. Most learn to control their feelings to show the minimal amount of feelings to fit in.

The womens movement has been extremely successful here in america(but it still gots a long ways to go). Men do not think much about girls displaying alot of masculine traits. They are seen as tomboys. They can wear what ever they want, but if a man happens decide to wear a dress cause he likes it, most of the males react:Oh no watch out, he's becoming gay. We better go beat his ass to teach him a lesson so he doesnt act like a girl.



Because of all this shit happening i was set back emotionally by at least 10 years. Growing up I hated sports. The only thing i was good at(& had interest in) was volley ball, but my high school didnt have a mens volley ball team. So sports for me was out of the picture. When i was a teenager i was emotionally retarded till i was about 18. Only friend i truly could call a friend was my cousin( & we had each other backs no matter what happened. we fought like hell till i was about 15, but if you fucked with one of us you had to deal with the other.), i had absolute zero social skills around girls & around guys my social skills were slightly better(but still sucked). I never had any girls for friends growing up, i only made friends with the boys

My social ability improved greatly when i was 18. Upto this point i hade been in contact with a girl over e-mail & the phone for about 3 years before we even met face to face. When we did finally meet, because we already formed an emotional bond to one another, we hooked up & i had my first GF. We went out for about 9 months & then she moved away. This incident in itself proved a wonderfull ego boost in my self confidence.

A couple of weeks later another girl found interest in me. she said i was cute. it sucked cause she was 15 & i was 19 at the time. Major Jail Bait. Over the corse of the next 3 months, i was finally blomising emotionally & i became friends with a girl. She lived 5 houses away from me & we went to all the same schools since first grade. I was falling in love with her & then it was time for my senior graduation from high school. Then she moved away which sucked.

Growing up i was a very with drawn person & had trouble making friends. Only reason me & my cousin have each other backs(ie what best friends are suppose to do) growing up is because we are blood kin, if it wasnt for him i wound have been more lonely that what i was growing up. Im surprised that i was never depressed, or suicidal at all growing up. My child hood was ok, & my teenage years were ok. not great, just ok.

Today i still have massive trouble making friends with women. Only way i have been able to acomplish any long lasting friend ships with women at all is because of the internet.

I have concluded that if i was in a more of an open environment growing up(ie where the displaying of feelings was ok & i wouldnt have suffered from displaying my feeling by the commonality of peer pressure of the other boys), then i could have had a little more selfconfidence & a much much higher self asteem in myself in my teenager years.


Right now i am just starting to display my feelings out open in public view & i am 24 years old now. The only reason it is happening now is because of the death of a good friend about 10 months ago who i worked with. I have come to consider him like he was family to me. His death jolted me somewhat out of my shell.

Through out all this(ie having trouble dealing with girls & only making friends with males) i never once was attracted to men at all. Right now i am getting my own sense of style in what i like to wear, taking care of myself physically(eating right, staying healthy, etc...). I have always been attracted to girls since well before i went through puberty.

I did my first crossplay 3 months ago ( http://images.cosplay.com/showphoto....t=500 &page=1 ) & the feeling i got was extremely...liberating. I then decided to do something else for halloween ( http://images.cosplay.com/showphoto....t=500 &page=1 ) & i loved every minute. I even got mistaken for a woman by alot of people on halloween. i didnt even think i would even pass remotely, but i did to alot of people. I had this as an alternate costume for halloween( http://images.cosplay.com/showphoto....t=500 &page=1 more pics in my gallery) but i didnt wear it.




I try to be androgenous in my appearance. Emotionally my masculine traits are not very strong(but threaten me or my family & i become extremely agressive & dominate) & have not been since i was born, my feminine traits(displaying emotions & saying to yourself it is ok to feel & not to be an emotionless drone) are now only coming to the surface.

Right now i am mostly satisfied with myself now. Feeling sexy(& even having people say i look sexy) when i crossplay is an awsome ego boost for me. I love it & will continue to crossplay in the future for as long as i can. It sure is hell alot of more fun than cosplaying male characters.

Just because i like feminine things, or display my emotions, does no way in hell make me gay(ie attracted to males). I find nothing attractive about a guy looking like a wookie naked or them sweating & not keeping themselves clean. The Fat hairy beer belly guys are a worse turn off than the skinny guys or weight lifters.

Right now I see myself as being mentally & emotionally superior to just about every single guy i come across. Most of the guys i know are very masculine to hyper masculine, practically uncaring to those around them. I see those types of guys as throwbacks to a bygone era.

I wish the world was full of men who could openly display their emotions in public like women do, then maybe the world would be a better place. Homophobia then would surely be a thing of the past.
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Unread 11-29-2003, 03:51 AM   #12
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i agree totally with Gren, myself being a gay male and having doing crossplay and drag for over 2 years i know the story and drag to get another males atention is the craziest idea i've heard of, although i have seen it.. *shivers* most gay men want nothing to do with a girl much less anything that LOOKS like one, you might be able to suprise a straight guy and get killed or excite a bisexual guy.. but other than that umm.. no..

myself.. i do drag as a means to let out my female side, no deferent than why a striaght male would. it gives me a chance to let out other emotions and be someone defent and not have to worry about what's going on in my life cause at the point i'm not me.. i'm her. i also do it to fool people which is a total blast. exspecially when someone thinks your a chcik think you drop your voice to a normal tone and stretch your nec to exspose your adam's apple.. hehe.. talk about a suprise.. but i do it for fun.. not to pick up anything.
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Unread 11-29-2003, 05:59 AM   #13
BIOJECT
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I think I'm too androgynous...

That reminds me. My friends think I'm too androgynous to crossplay (I agree though) as a female character especially when it's Deedlit who is supposed to be petite and fair skinned according to them. If you want to see how I look just take a peak at my profile.
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Unread 11-29-2003, 06:04 AM   #14
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I agree with you all the way LunarYoma, but I think most guys wouldn't prefer a Tomboy over what a guy would call the "standard" girl because they/I enjoy seeing them in skimpy outfits. We're guys and we like that stuff.

I do think girls who are Tomboyish have their own little advantages though. My Aunt is a partially tomboy and she's REALLY fun to hang out with. She enjoys hiking and doing all kinds of crazy outdoorzy stuff.

With guys preferring girls to be more feminine over being tomboyish, it's only our raging hormones! My preference is... short and cute. lol
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Unread 11-29-2003, 06:11 AM   #15
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I see what you mean DarkindDreamer. Believe it or not I have had a male with a crush on me before.

It's kind of an interesting story actually. I'm straight just so you know. One of my friends at work told me his sister really liked me. Almost every day I would get letters from this sister. Unfortunately his sister wasn't very good at writing so it was hard to understand what she said half the time. What made it all worse was that my co-worker was being all secretive about it all. Finally when I got him to spill the beans, I discovered that his sister was really a brother who had the hots for me. I do admit that it was flattering seeing that someone actually thinks I look good. I've never had a girlfriend before even though I've made many attempts and well... my self esteem in that department could be higher.
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