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Unread 12-01-2011, 08:09 AM   #31
Bisected8
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My internet connection keeps cutting out. I hate it when it does that. I'll probably have a slow one all month.
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Unread 12-01-2011, 02:16 PM   #32
kuroki-neko
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i feel as if after everytime i post that people tend to avoid where i posted. i can see if i commit a social blunder but when im just trying to get some info or whatever in an active thread its a bit sad.
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Unread 12-01-2011, 03:53 PM   #33
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lady Marionette View Post
‎(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡"sɯɐxǝ ןɐuıɟ"
AGREED.
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Unread 12-01-2011, 04:53 PM   #34
Flora88
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There are no opportunities to do what I want to do here in Louisiana.
I can only be a receptionist or work in retail, and that's pretty much it. I could potentially do technical writing for an oil company, but I hate it so much.

It's becoming increasingly obvious that I'm going to have to move to NYC to work for a publisher. I applied to Knopf Doubleday today, and I fit every. single. requirement. I don't even know how I'd feel if I got it.
But I have no money for an apartment when I GET to NYC, and my boyfriend works here in Shreveport. I don't know what to do.
I love him very much, but I feel like I've given up my own dreams so he can work in news.

And I...don't want to be a receptionist!
It's not that I think being a receptionist is beneath me or something, it's that I know exactly what I want to do, and have wanted it since I was twelve. I want to work in book publishing. If I take a receptionist job, it won't lead anywhere that I want to go.

I'm sick of being limited by where I live. Especially since I know of twelve different job openings in publishing houses in NYC that I can apply for RIGHT NOW. There is nothing for me here.
I don't know what to do.


Ugh...
Sorry to be so whiny today.
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Last edited by Flora88 : 12-01-2011 at 05:24 PM.
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Unread 12-01-2011, 05:13 PM   #35
Lurrdoc
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The new Youtube layout is nice and all, but.. how the heck do I close the videos in my subscription now? If anyone knows, please let me know, because this is just too much clutter. WHERE DID THE LITTLE X TO CLOSE THE DAMN VIDEOS GO?
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Unread 12-01-2011, 05:36 PM   #36
Neko.Oni
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Why the hell must ALL the threads I want to read be so f***ing unpopular?!!? It seems like the more I want to read a thread and the more I want a reply the less likely if is I will get it! I sit here all day refreshing the sites every 5 min or so and I usually only get like 3 replies per day! On slow sites with only a few active members, it frustrates me but I understand it, When it's on an active site, why the hell cant anyone else share my interests for more than 1 night!!! WHY AM I THE ONLY F***ING PERSON IN THE WORLD WHO POSTS TO A THREAD THEN STICKS AROUND TO SEE IF ITS REPLIED TO!!!

*pants hard a few times*

I feel better now. (and just FYI, that rant is about a bunch of sites, not just this one)
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Unread 12-01-2011, 06:00 PM   #37
Akiyhrah
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Okay... I try not to rant on forums/the internet in general, but I really need to get this out. ><

So. I have this friend. She is one of my best friends and we are really close, but over the past few months I have been developing a crush on her. It started out as just a little thing, and I tried to just ignore it, figuring it would go away. However it has been getting worse and now I am at the point where I can't stop thinking about her. When I'm with her I am extremely happy. When she hugs me, I don't want her to let go... etc etc. All that typical uber crush stuff.
I've tried soooooo hard to get past these feelings, but they just keep getting stronger. I've tried staying away from her for a while, and I just missed her fiercely. I tried convincing myself that it was just a phase, but it's not going away. I've tried EVERYTHING. And the only reason I wasn't just honest with her is because I was petrified that it would change things between us, and I would rather have her as just a friend than not at all. I mean, crushy feelings aside, I love her. She is one of the best people I have ever known in my entire life, and I would be truly devastated to lose her friendship.

It doesn't help that she is a flirty person too. She is just like that with all of her friends, though sometimes I catch her gaze lingering on me, or something like that, and it makes me wonder if maybe she is feeling something more too. We do have a very strong connection, and my wishful thinking aside, I truly think there is some sort of... 'spark' between us. I mean, we talk to each other EVERY day. We are constantly texting, facebooking... etc etc. We cuddle, and even hold hands sometimes. I have had other friends ask me if we are dating, and people have told me that we would make an adorable couple. We pretty much act like a couple, just without the kissing and other more.. couple-defining stuff. lol


Well, about a month ago, we were out at a pub and we had both had a few drinks. I guess she had figured out that I had a crush on her, and told me she knew, but it didn't change anything between us, that I was still her best friend. But we didn't really get the chance to actually talk about it, because we were out with other friends and it was loud. So I asked her if we could get together and talk the next day, but things kept coming up. She is very busy with work and has very little time right now, and it seems like every time we make plans something gets in the way. So the only times I've seen her alone is when I steal her for a half hour on her lunch breaks, and that isn't enough time for a real talk.
Anyway, the past month has been really straining on our friendship because of this. There is this tension in the air, and I don't know why or what to do about it. She said my feelings didn't change anything, but I feel like everything is changing. And the thing is, I still feel like she might like me too... but she is too focused on her career right now and doesn't want to date anybody. I think she is just as confused and lost as I am, and just as scared of losing our friendship. Plus she has been going through a lot of crap at the moment, so I don't think anything in her head is sorted out properly. She's totally not in the mind space to think about dating, and I totally get that.

So I've been trying really hard to pretend that I'm okay, and just be her friend. I figure maybe if I wait until she has her head sorted out, then maybe our relationship will be more clearly defined. Basically I want things to go back to the way they were before she told me she knew about my feelings until we are in a better position to deal with all of this. It just really sucks for me, because I honestly think I am actually starting to fall for her, and it's really hard to deal with sometimes. I didn't know it was possible to be so happy and so sad at the same time >< It's like... she's the Lily to my Snape... which means I get to be forever alone D:

Anyway, that's my rant. This is why I am such a roller coaster of emotions lately, and why I am sometimes all emo-y. Though that is more evident on my Twitter... lol Basically, I'm totally screwed. ><
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Unread 12-01-2011, 06:31 PM   #38
lostjuly
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@Akiyhrah you should keep trying to get together with her and talk about the whole thing. sometimes life gets us really busy and we just don't have a lot of down time, but i'm sure if you guys both put forth the effort to see each other, you will and you will get everything sorted out. honesty is best and if she values you as a friend as much as it seems she does, nothing has been hurt and i'm sure you guys can have the same friendship as before. just keep being patient and opportunity to talk will come soon :]
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Unread 12-01-2011, 06:36 PM   #39
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a vent in tl;dr list form--

* i got the lead in "end days" and this role is going to be really rough to do because it sort of hits home.
* i really, really hate school, and my grades are suffering because i hate schoolwork, and i just want to be done with college already, BUT
* i am still not sure where i'm going to go once i graduate
* my closest friends in my theatre department are all doing an internship for disney and i'm going to miss them terribly
* i have to get my driver's license and i'm terrified of driving and my car is still out of commission so i'm probably not even gonna have a car to drive once i get it
* to top it all off i suddenly really miss my ex and it's stupid.

womp.
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Unread 12-01-2011, 07:48 PM   #40
SapphireChaos
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I honestly have so much trouble knowing if I like people just as a friend or something more. I may sound like a loser, but I am a relatively shy and personal person, so I don't make many friends (and I don't mind that). But there's a guy whose a friend of mine for about 3 years now that I thought I liked, but then when I met this other guy earlier this year I ended up starting to like him. But whenever I see the first guy... I don't know, I think that I might still like him. Sorry if that sounds so cheesy and childish, but I never really "like" people (*cough* I've always been single *cough*) and I don't know if the feelings for the first guy are feelings of friendship or something else :/ It's confusing and drives me crazy.

Also, too many essays to write for school -___-
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Unread 12-01-2011, 10:20 PM   #41
FuntomKitten
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Akiyhrah View Post
-snippet-
The first part is pretty much what's going on with me.
~Elaboration/TL;DR for my last post~
Okay, so. A few months ago I texted a friend I'd made at a con. She told me she'd been suicidal, and explained why. For weeks, even until now, I've helped her get out of it, using my own sanity on her. She got over the ex-girlfriend that was causing all the problems. Everything became cool.
Somewhere along the way I fell in love with her.
We talk every day. She always acts like she's flirting with me. We always go on about how we miss each other.
So, last week, I got the guts to tell her I liked her. She said she liked me back. I was overjoyed. Everything was perfect.
Until she decided she didn't like me enough.
I was feeling crappy one day because she was going on about how she was being suicidal again. I calmed her down, and then, I tried to be brave again and asked her why she never called me her girlfriend, if we both obviously liked each other a lot.
Cue my heart broken when she said 'I just can't' and left me with two answers, both implying I just wasn't good enough. Either her long-distance girlfriend she's always complaining to me about is better because of something I don't know (and it hurts that I think its because of my age) or, because I'm a girl and she doesn't want 'another secret relationship' since she doesn't want to come out to her mom.
I said it was okay. It wasn't. I said I was content being her 'best friend'... I pretty much snapped and went ballistic whenever she said anything sweet or when she talked about her girlfriend. It doesn't make me feel a little happy or jealous anymore. It kills me. She just doesn't know.
I wish I could tell her, but the last time I opened my mouth, well, frankly, I fucked everything up and pretty much killed myself. Plus, she's still suicidal. I can't bring us both down.
I don't know if it hurts this bad because it's my first crush or because I still really love her.
I think it's the latter.
And it just...frustrates me too. I'm the only one who is always there for her when she needs it. I'm the only one who tried to show her life is worth living. I'm the only one who drops everything to make her feel better.
But she doesn't see any of it. All she sees is the stranger she met on IMVU.
It kills me. It may literally kill me.
The worst part, I know none of it is my fault, but I'm still blaming myself for being so damn desperate and trying to be brave. I just had to go and fuck everything up, didn't I...?

And, very TLR, I told my mom I was suicidal, she asked me why. I told her I was bisexual, she asked me who and how. I told her. Now I told her if she wanted to help the slightest bit, she would have to accept I'm bisexual and like her.
Guess what she isn't doing?
She's even trying to forbid me from seeing her.
Fuck you, Mother. You say I'm your world but you'd let me kill myself for your belief in something that may not even be true.

TL;DR: Fuck my life. Fuck my probably-very-short life.
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Unread 12-01-2011, 10:20 PM   #42
BlondieSundae
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lady Marionette View Post
‎(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡"sɯɐxǝ ןɐuıɟ"
I hear you.
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Once upon an evening dreary, while I lurked weak and weary,
Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten posts,
While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a bitching,
As of some one gently pitching, bitching at my chamber door.
`'Tis JasonTerror,' I muttered, `bitching at my chamber door -
Only this, and nothing more.'
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Unread 12-02-2011, 06:58 AM   #43
SapphireChaos
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Quote:
Originally Posted by .PapercutSenvy. View Post
And, very TLR, I told my mom I was suicidal, she asked me why. I told her I was bisexual, she asked me who and how. I told her. Now I told her if she wanted to help the slightest bit, she would have to accept I'm bisexual and like her.
Guess what she isn't doing?
She's even trying to forbid me from seeing her.
Fuck you, Mother. You say I'm your world but you'd let me kill myself for your belief in something that may not even be true.

TL;DR: Fuck my life. Fuck my probably-very-short life.

I'm so sorry about this. One of my friends went through the exact same thing last year. I'm not sure what to say, and it may sound cliche', but PLEASE never consider suicide. Some things just take a little time to figure themselves out. *hugs*
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Unread 12-02-2011, 09:16 AM   #44
BlondieSundae
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Papercut- I feel like this girl is playing with your emotions and you may love her but you are young and she is not the last person you will meet. Personally I feel like her suicidal tendencies are just her crying out for help and you are the person she is.... well to put it simply.... manipulating. It's not a very simple or easy situation which I am sure I don't fully understand but I think getting upset over a person who doesn't want to share your feelings and actually seems to mess with them is hardly fair to you.

Take it from someone who knows, this girl is not the end all be all of people you will love. And frankly maybe it's best if you step away from her so you don't hurt so much. I know you want to be there for her but she is actively hurting you with her attitude and she isn't good to be in a relationship anyways if she is acting this way. She needs to find herself and be at peace with herself if she wants to be in a healthy relationship and that means NOT hiding her sexuality from her parents. It's more trouble than it's worth. You're young... things will change and there will be others.

Aki- Oh hun.... that sounds like a sucky spot to be in indeed. I really hope things will sort themselves out in the end and honestly I really kind of hope you end up with your hearts desire and whatever will make you happy. The best thing you can do is hold on until you can really have a good talk with her.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lithium Flower View Post
Once upon an evening dreary, while I lurked weak and weary,
Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten posts,
While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a bitching,
As of some one gently pitching, bitching at my chamber door.
`'Tis JasonTerror,' I muttered, `bitching at my chamber door -
Only this, and nothing more.'

Last edited by BlondieSundae : 12-02-2011 at 09:38 AM.
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Unread 12-02-2011, 09:31 AM   #45
sam vimes
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Originally Posted by Akiyhrah View Post
Unrequited(?) shitstorm.
She says she's "focused on her career right now?" I'm calling b.s. One can always make room for a bit of slap & tickle.
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