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Unread 01-15-2013, 05:49 PM   #5116
Lithium Flower
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sam vimes View Post
Said the guy who everyone pulled together and tried to help when he was having girlfriend trouble.

You know where the door is, Neko. What are you waiting for?
Quote:
Originally Posted by kuroki-neko View Post
if i act nice i get ignored or get called on for something i did not say right. do you know what it feels like to post somewhere and be on topic and what everyone is talking about and have the thread die right there? i just feel like everyone avoids me. there are people on here who act much worse than i do and they get away with it only because they have lots of friends on here . i don't really know what to say because it might sound like complaining so ill just end it here.
See that bolded part up there in SV's post? YEAH.

What your upset about is that you wander over to a forum on the internet and are bothered that people already have established relationships. No one here has a 'clique' or an 'I hate Neko' club. If you say or do something that someone is hurt by then apologize and explain how you meant it. That's what grown ups do. Plenty of us who you see as a 'clique' have hurt one another or been insensitive at one point or another, the difference is we apologize and make amends for our mistake or when something is taken differently then how we intended.

I post in threads and they die off for a while too. It's because everyone isn't sitting around with a timer to make sure we all meet up and X-o' clock to shun you. People live in different states, some in different countries. Maybe, just maybe, some people are popping in for a while and then just go do something else and leave their browser on? Maybe people don't know what to say in response to you? Maybe someone is replying to other people they have a specific response to? It isn't all about you and your problems, not everyone can just stop their shit because WHOA BOY NEKO SHOWED UP. When anyone tries to help you all you do is complain more about your mom and girlfriend while ignoring anything anyone has to say.

People TRY to help you, but you ignore it and then complain we don't give you enough attention.
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Unread 01-15-2013, 06:30 PM   #5117
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lithium Flower View Post
See that bolded part up there in SV's post? YEAH.

What your upset about is that you wander over to a forum on the internet and are bothered that people already have established relationships. No one here has a 'clique' or an 'I hate Neko' club. If you say or do something that someone is hurt by then apologize and explain how you meant it. That's what grown ups do. Plenty of us who you see as a 'clique' have hurt one another or been insensitive at one point or another, the difference is we apologize and make amends for our mistake or when something is taken differently then how we intended.

I post in threads and they die off for a while too. It's because everyone isn't sitting around with a timer to make sure we all meet up and X-o' clock to shun you. People live in different states, some in different countries. Maybe, just maybe, some people are popping in for a while and then just go do something else and leave their browser on? Maybe people don't know what to say in response to you? Maybe someone is replying to other people they have a specific response to? It isn't all about you and your problems, not everyone can just stop their shit because WHOA BOY NEKO SHOWED UP. When anyone tries to help you all you do is complain more about your mom and girlfriend while ignoring anything anyone has to say.

People TRY to help you, but you ignore it and then complain we don't give you enough attention.
I just feel like even if i did apologize it would not matter the argument would still go on. The truth is all my life i never really had many friends i always was an outcast and never accepted; no matter how i acted. Also just because i don't like the popular series or like what other people like im seen as a hater it does not matter why its jut that i have to like it or be outcasted. I never mean any il intent when i post things people are offended by but...i can't say why because im not allowed to say.

ill say it again i never had many friends most of my life, but hence i can't complain ill end it that here. i just don't know how to act sometimes i get this person who acts really mean to me on here and i can't do anything or im the jerk. i know life is not easy but i just want some clarity.
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Unread 01-15-2013, 06:37 PM   #5118
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That sounds extremely passive aggressive. Try a copy of Stephen Covey's Seven Habits. It can be a useful tool in learning better communication skills. It did wonders for me.
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Unread 01-15-2013, 07:04 PM   #5119
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PsykoGerbil View Post
That sounds extremely passive aggressive. Try a copy of Stephen Covey's Seven Habits. It can be a useful tool in learning better communication skills. It did wonders for me.
Maybe I should check it out, that actually be beneficial for me. LOL I know my people and communication skills need a lot of work still. My dad gave me this old book that once belonged to him called People Smart. I need to read it sometime.
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Unread 01-15-2013, 07:22 PM   #5120
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Some of it seems so... 90s. But the basics have been probably the most useful tool for me across 6 companies and um... a lot of time. Especially the "seek first to understand" and "win-win". It really helped me change how I approached conflict and disagreement.
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Unread 01-15-2013, 07:56 PM   #5121
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....argh....crap....I drank "energy drink" soda....I have a major heart condition.

It was being marketed as normal soda now I feel really sick.

Lesson learned...don't trust the bottle D:
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Unread 01-15-2013, 08:24 PM   #5122
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If you're not willing to consider or put into effect any advice others give you, THEN WHY ASK FOR IT. My ex took the advice to break up with me and acted upon it, and you know what? it was the right choice.
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Unread 01-15-2013, 11:00 PM   #5123
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Arc_The_Lad View Post
If you're not willing to consider or put into effect any advice others give you, THEN WHY ASK FOR IT. My ex took the advice to break up with me and acted upon it, and you know what? it was the right choice.
Because i don't have any friends to talk to about it, but the only problem now is that lithium called me a weeaboo. other than that im fine.

"Do not test the sanctity of animu, Penny. That serious stuff you know? Now you're just going after a mans god."
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Unread 01-15-2013, 11:29 PM   #5124
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Fixed, for now...

Last edited by PSY-chan : 01-16-2013 at 12:13 AM.
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Unread 01-16-2013, 10:10 AM   #5125
Lithium Flower
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kuroki-neko View Post
I just feel like even if i did apologize it would not matter the argument would still go on. The truth is all my life i never really had many friends i always was an outcast and never accepted; no matter how i acted. Also just because i don't like the popular series or like what other people like im seen as a hater it does not matter why its jut that i have to like it or be outcasted. I never mean any il intent when i post things people are offended by but...i can't say why because im not allowed to say.

ill say it again i never had many friends most of my life, but hence i can't complain ill end it that here. i just don't know how to act sometimes i get this person who acts really mean to me on here and i can't do anything or im the jerk. i know life is not easy but i just want some clarity.
Maybe your apologies to people are not coming across as genuine?

"I am sorry you got offended. Why does everyone hate me"
and
"I did not mean for what I said to be taken that way, here is what i meant, sorry for the misunderstanding"

Are two totally different ways to apologize. The first one isn't even an apology; it's you blaming the person who's bothered by your words and complaining that everyone is against you when they have a legitimate issue. The second is a sincere apology and explanation of what you where trying to say that got misunderstood.

A half-assed apology isn't an apology at all.

This isn't high school, no one cares what anime you watch or don't watch. People just want you to stop treating everyone like they're in an anti-you gang. We don't even KNOW YOU, how can we hate you? All we know of you is the sparse few times you post, ignore what we say, and get angry that people aren't your BFFS.

You might not have many friends because you're abrasive and don't treat people as well as you think you are in your head. How do you expect people to treat you when you constantly talk about how mean and nasty those there women folk are? It comes across as misogynistic , can you see why people would not want to be talking to you if that's how you come across?e


Quote:
Originally Posted by kuroki-neko View Post
Because i don't have any friends to talk to about it, but the only problem now is that lithium called me a weeaboo. other than that im fine.

"Do not test the sanctity of animu, Penny. That serious stuff you know? Now you're just going after a mans god."
I didn't call you a weeaboo. If I wanted to call you a weeaboo I would just say it.

That statement was in response to something you said in which you where upholding the imaginary feelings of a cartoon character above the real live human feelings of other people.
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Unread 01-16-2013, 01:41 PM   #5126
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My last bit of unsolicited opinion: Sometimes, people are not ignoring you, they just don't have anything to say to you in response. Realizing that the world is not out to get you is a good first step. IMO, people come to coscom to enjoy cosplay and just have fun. Whining, pointing fingers, and bitching here (or anywhere else online, for that matter) is NEVER going to give you a good response. People react negatively to negativity.

It is ok to have problems, feelings, and person issues! We all have them! But learning how to deal with the issues is where some people have trouble.

This next bit may seem a little unrelated, but I have found it helpful. Learn the CORE personality types and identify yourself. (Commander, Organizer, Relator, Entertainer) I am more of a relator, so I often take things personally and get my feelings hurt unintentionally. But relators are really good at connecting emotionally and make a good listener as well as a shoulder to cry on. Commanders are usually good at being in charge and strive to set and achieve goals and aren't always considerate of other peoples feelings. Organizers are very detail oriented and will take their time on a given task to make sure its perfect and in order. Entertainers are carefree and don't worry about little details, and LOVE to be the center of attention. Organizers and Entertainers usually don't get along, same being with Commanders and Relators.

By learning what personality type you are, you can learn to "speak the other persons language" and get along better. A relator in a conversation with a commander may want to walk into the conversation and realize that whatever the commander says is not a personal attack. The commander would want to be aware of how what he says will affect the relator, so on and so on.


If I had to guess, Neko is probably a relator, which is why he is upset.
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Unread 01-16-2013, 04:27 PM   #5127
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The senior teller at my work gave her notice that she was leaving today! I would be celebrating except for the fact that it's not a 2 week notice and is instead a 2 day notice! Not only that, she's not even working her Saturday this week that she was scheduled for so now I have to work longer on Saturday. She somehow manages to piss me off even though she's leaving...
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Unread 01-16-2013, 04:38 PM   #5128
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Quote:
Originally Posted by OtakuSpark View Post
My last bit of unsolicited opinion: Sometimes, people are not ignoring you, they just don't have anything to say to you in response. Realizing that the world is not out to get you is a good first step. IMO, people come to coscom to enjoy cosplay and just have fun. Whining, pointing fingers, and bitching here (or anywhere else online, for that matter) is NEVER going to give you a good response. People react negatively to negativity.

It is ok to have problems, feelings, and person issues! We all have them! But learning how to deal with the issues is where some people have trouble.

This next bit may seem a little unrelated, but I have found it helpful. Learn the CORE personality types and identify yourself. (Commander, Organizer, Relator, Entertainer) I am more of a relator, so I often take things personally and get my feelings hurt unintentionally. But relators are really good at connecting emotionally and make a good listener as well as a shoulder to cry on. Commanders are usually good at being in charge and strive to set and achieve goals and aren't always considerate of other peoples feelings. Organizers are very detail oriented and will take their time on a given task to make sure its perfect and in order. Entertainers are carefree and don't worry about little details, and LOVE to be the center of attention. Organizers and Entertainers usually don't get along, same being with Commanders and Relators.

By learning what personality type you are, you can learn to "speak the other persons language" and get along better. A relator in a conversation with a commander may want to walk into the conversation and realize that whatever the commander says is not a personal attack. The commander would want to be aware of how what he says will affect the relator, so on and so on.


If I had to guess, Neko is probably a relator, which is why he is upset.
That is quite interesting, I never heard about the core personality types. I wonder which one I am.

Anyways. Neko, people here are right. They aren't trying to be mean or against you and I don't really know you as I just became more active again, but from what I have seen, some of what you say seems to be argumentative. In one thread, you were saying all the Hetalia fans were against you and that everyone hates for not liking the series, when really people were just annoyed about how you say things at times and just trying to give you suggests.

Seems like a case of playing the victim and trying to make the others into the bad guy or making generalizations. Maybe you don't realize what you or doing or how the things you say things come across, but that isn't a good way to make friends. If you want to make friends, you need to stop doing that and try to work on communicating better and learn how to make an sincere apology. We can only do so much to help and give advice; you have to be willing to admit that there is a problem and want to fix it.
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Unread 01-16-2013, 09:36 PM   #5129
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I seriously hate bandwagon fans. That is all lol
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Unread 01-16-2013, 09:45 PM   #5130
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I have no time for cosplay because I have to do extra curricular carpentry every day ;n;

Also money because I wanna pay rent and stuff.
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