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Unread 04-26-2013, 04:03 PM   #5671
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Originally Posted by UsakoLuna View Post
Lol. Gf's sister thinks that because she's going to a study abroad thing in Ireland for six weeks over the summer that her mom won't pay her part of the rent.

That's not how it works hunny. You still live here, and rent is due whether you're sleeping in that bed or not. Your mom better pay or you need to figure out how to come up with $600 dollars before you leave (2 months of her share of the rent). Meg and I might not be able to CTcon because she may not get the time off from work but if we have to cover her sisters share of the rent we definitely won't be going to CTcon.
Meg is going to ask her mom about that tomorrow, she's already left for work now.
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Unread 04-26-2013, 04:12 PM   #5672
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Or just murder her sister for the life insurance?
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Unread 04-26-2013, 04:24 PM   #5673
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Is it so terrible that I'm ignoring my best friend cause he decided to not pick me up or text me about an event and he rather go with other people after he said he was going to take me and I was so excited and made sure I got off work in time?

Also considering his sister has to tell him to apologize after 3 days of the event.
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Unread 04-26-2013, 08:00 PM   #5674
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Originally Posted by LoliLovely View Post
Soooo I'm "another family disappointment"
They can take a hike --- it won't matter what they think once you're out of there.
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Unread 04-26-2013, 08:35 PM   #5675
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Today I had a 10 hour shift and only a 25 minute lunch. And we were understaffed and never get paid breaks.
Needless to say after necessary grocery shopping after work, I was tired and grumpy. ;c

And then my boyfriend told me bad news from his end, which got me all fired up because people in his life suuuuuck.
I'm just so happy for the weekend! And in light of all the bad, I was able to get a lot of stuff worked out for my return to school in the fall.
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Unread 04-27-2013, 12:37 AM   #5676
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Originally Posted by Kildread View Post
They can take a hike --- it won't matter what they think once you're out of there.
Anyone who actually says family disappointment should be ashamed of themselves.

My mom has never been disappointed in me and my sister, even when I was almost homeless, and my sister almost went to jail. She just told us "you know better and are capable a great things".
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Unread 04-27-2013, 03:49 PM   #5677
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I really dislike where I work. A lot of the customers feel entitled and think they can get whatever they want. It doesn't help with the fact that some of my managers aren't the greatest and mess things up constantly. Like yesterday, I picked up my check and noticed I wasn't paid for one of my days that I worked.

Well it turned out that my manager forgot I worked that day. So now I have to wait till my next pay check to get the rest of the money. I have to pay for rent and buy food this week. I would look for another job but my coworkers are great. And I'm afraid of hating and being as depressed at the other jobs as much as this one.
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Unread 04-28-2013, 12:25 PM   #5678
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Originally Posted by Arc_The_Lad View Post
Anyone who actually says family disappointment should be ashamed of themselves.

My mom has never been disappointed in me and my sister, even when I was almost homeless, and my sister almost went to jail. She just told us "you know better and are capable a great things".
I remember my mom getting pissed at me once when we were on the way to some craft show. She pointed to me and said to my dad "She's ruining this family!"
What had I done? I don't even remember. Probably not being perky and happy enough about what we were doing that day, or not speaking in a sufficiently subservient tone.

I honestly can't remember the last time my mom said she was proud of me for anything. Not even when I graduated Crane Training- I came home with the certificate and she told me to get out of the way because she was watching some fucking TV show. She didn't even care. But then again, I heard her griping to my dad before I even took the course- "She's too big and fat to climb those cranes, she's wasting her time!"

Meanwhile, the neighbor's daughter went to China for a trip as part of a college course, and my mom could not stop rabbiting on about it like it was the most amazing thing ever.

And now I'm fixing to visit Dubai- I'm doing research, finding out what to do over there, what not to do, etc. I admit- I'm an unorthodox person. I dress differently than most people, as I make some of my own clothes. So I'm finding out just what's okay to wear over there and what's not. (Most "what shall I wear" advice for tourists deals with heat and skin exposure) Fortunately for me, I rather like long flowing robes and tunics, and turn my nose up at skimpy clothes. On one forum, I even got a compliment from a native Emirati- he thanked me for wanting to learn about the culture and be respectful, and said he wished more tourists were like that. But to hear my mom lecture me, you would think I'm a total clueless rube.

I could write a book on all the awful things I've had her say to me over the course of my life. "Wake up!".."For someone so smart, how could you be so stupid!".."With your attitude you'll never go anywhere/get a job/keep a job!".."Nobody else will put up with you!".."You can't cook anything that doesn't come out of a can..You can't do this, you can't do that..you're incompetent, you're lazy..you're sloppy..you can't find anything even if it's right in front of you!"

That's the kind of thing I've spent my whole life listening to. Is it any wonder that I turned out as an underachieving wimp with crappy self esteem, who thinks of offing herself on a semi-regular basis?

(Don't worry, I don't think I'll actually do it- I just get depressed and really start hating life sometimes)

Last edited by Amanita : 04-28-2013 at 12:29 PM.
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Unread 04-28-2013, 12:31 PM   #5679
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Arc_The_Lad View Post
My mom has never been disappointed in me and my sister, even when I was almost homeless, and my sister almost went to jail. She just told us "you know better and are capable a great things".
Both of mine were vocal about their disappointment and I acted accordingly.

It's too bad they haven't gone on that hike yet.
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Unread 04-28-2013, 12:41 PM   #5680
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The older I get, the more I realize that parents are basically just people and mostly people put them on a pedestal they're not really qualified to be on. When my mom was my age, I was five years old. What the fuck would I do with a five-year-old? I'd probably make mistakes in parenting, too.

Most of the time, they know what the end result of their parenting is supposed to be: a healthy, well-adjusted kid who gets good grades and winds up with a job where they can live comfortably. However, very few people have any sort of clue how to achieve that in their kids, and most parenting attempts are basically a combination of guessing, stuff other people told them, and frustration.

Nobody's perfect, even parents. If they say shit like "you disappoint me," put that into perspective and move on. Fulfilling self-fulfilling prophecies because your parents are being unhelpful helps no one.
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Unread 04-28-2013, 12:58 PM   #5681
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Originally Posted by belligerent View Post
If they say shit like "you disappoint me," put that into perspective and move on. Fulfilling self-fulfilling prophecies because your parents are being unhelpful helps no one.
That's being mature, not belligerent D:
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Unread 04-28-2013, 01:27 PM   #5682
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It's a little harder to just "put that into perspective" when you've been fed a steady diet of it your whole damn life. Not just a one-time comment made in frustration, but a steady dose of it force fed to you over the course of years.
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Unread 04-28-2013, 02:06 PM   #5683
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But it is also a little easier to blame others for their imperfections and their impact on you than to accept them and move on, isn't it? You aren't perfect. What's their reaction? To tell you. Okay. They let you know you aren't perfect. What's your reaction? You let it consume you. Why? Why would you let it bother you when flawed people point out that you, yourself, have flaws? The answer is because we're all human and flawed (and to be upset when others point out our flaws is a flaw, itself).

But you can choose to move past it or you can let it drag you down further. There's no inherent advantage to the latter, although yes, it is easier.

I haven't always had a great relationship with my parents, either. I almost failed every math class I took in high school, and my mom didn't understand. I didn't have a social life. She didn't understand. I was good at writing but I didn't turn in my damn homework. Not even I understand. Sometimes you can't understand everything there is to understand about people, even when you're close to them. It's okay if you don't.

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That's being mature, not belligerent D:
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Unread 04-28-2013, 02:43 PM   #5684
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I don't think you're quite getting it. It's not so damn easy to "shake off" years of what amounts to psychological abuse (The things said to me were often said in the context of screaming tantrums aimed at me- anything could set them off- not making my bed, getting a less than stellar grade, or mom just being in a pissy mood) combined with a tendency toward depression.

Being constantly told that you're a screw up, that you can't do things, that you're what's wrong with the family, that shit eats at a person, especially when delivered in sustained doses over a period of years, when there's no getting away from it- when so much of it is crammed down your throat before you've developed those oh-so-adult coping mechanisms of "Forget it and move on".

My point is- when you spend so much of your life hearing that you're all kinds of fail and screw up, when you watch a favored sibling skate for the same things you get in shit for, when you get the constantly reinforced message that you're good for nothing and can't do anything right, that does damage that a simple "Get over it" will never undo, and it's insulting to be told otherwise.
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Unread 04-28-2013, 03:26 PM   #5685
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Amanita, I've seen what that can do to a person and it's awful. :c I hope that good things will come in your life, because you deserve it. From reading some of your other posts, it seems like you've got a successful life ahead of you. I mean, going to Dubai?! Whether it's for academic, professional, or personal reasons, travel is always impressive.

I'm working on getting into the early childhood education area because I've always had very strong feelings about the way a child should be raised. So I get pretty flustered when I see things like this happening because I know what it does to someone.
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