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Unread 06-23-2013, 07:56 PM   #6031
Lidaea
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Originally Posted by belligerent View Post
Is this a different dude than the one you broke up with before, I hope?
Hah, of course. That was just a disaster.
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Unread 06-23-2013, 08:08 PM   #6032
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In that case, he's being what I would consider a bit...inappropriately rigid in his expectations for somebody he's been dating less than two months, IMO.
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Unread 06-23-2013, 08:12 PM   #6033
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But at the same time, I could be asking too much. Ah well, I'm not leaving state for a bit anyway, gonna finish my generals here first. We'll see when it gets closer to moving time if he doesn't change his mind. c:
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Unread 06-23-2013, 08:39 PM   #6034
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(Already said this in "So what's up with you?")

Sadly I have no reason to be happy right now, there are two things that make me feel so depressed

- I'm seriously getting sick of my workmates, almost all of them double my age and don't understand how I am, I love to move and have fun, while they don't have the same energy as me and I feel that sometimes they try to change me, they even sometimes make fun of my hobbies and my way of acting and thinking and that makes me feel like a freak, and outside of that I feel like one of my only close friends who is my age acts like he was my father, and one ocasionally co-worker who is my sister in law is one of my few co-agers there and when we talk I feel like talking to my aunt, so all that makes me feel so alone

- Iíve never dated anyone and nor had a relationship, and I read in Internet forums that when I become older itís not the heart and feelings that matters, but the car, the money, the house, the academic degree and also I read articles like this http://www.thatashgirl.com/2011/05/d...ks-part-1.html and when someone my age asks for advice on dating they always answer ďItís OK cause youíre already with a grade and a stable jobĒ or ďAt your age you should see your mate as a potential wifeĒ (Iím not even ready for marriage) or ďIíd never date anyone that age who doesnít have a carĒ (I donít have one, and I donít want one!), it sometimes makes me feel like at this age I donít worth for what I am but for what I have and that i will never experience love when each other matter and nothing else like in a younger age.

Looks like Iíll never be happy in my life
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Unread 06-23-2013, 08:40 PM   #6035
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It's your career. If the only opportunities for you are out of state, then the only opportunities are out of state.

I guess it depends on what you both want and what your offer to compromise entailed whether one or both of you are being unreasonable.
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Unread 06-23-2013, 11:37 PM   #6036
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I have some crappy friends that totally use people. Bad thing is a few times I give in because I want to help them. I'm done with some of those people though. I'm usually a really forgiving and nice person, but I'm just done now. They message me out of nowhere only when they want something, otherwise I don't hear from them ever
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Unread 06-24-2013, 05:42 AM   #6037
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MY mom tells me to stop being so snappy and stop sounding so mad when I talk/reply to things, and wants me to "behave", like I have a button I can puch and suddenly become the perfect obedient daughter who never talks back and always does what she's told when she's told to
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Unread 06-24-2013, 10:08 AM   #6038
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MidnightMinx90 View Post
MY mom tells me to stop being so snappy and stop sounding so mad when I talk/reply to things, and wants me to "behave", like I have a button I can puch and suddenly become the perfect obedient daughter who never talks back and always does what she's told when she's told to
Eventually you will find a delicate balance between hating people and being able to quietly exist in their presence.

Like me!

I quietly hate everyone and no one knows until I've robbed them blind and stolen their cat.
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Unread 06-24-2013, 10:29 PM   #6039
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I don't know what my problem is.

I'm trying really hard to be able to enjoy things, to be happy about things....not to worry about everything. I was able to get things off of my chest for the first time in a very long time....but now it's as if that never happened. Everything is a blow to my confidence. I wake every morning realizing how much I hate myself. I tried to escape into art but everything I touch gets messed up and while people around me may like it, I can't stand any of it. I try to dissolve into books but I'm always interrupted. I attempt to let myself play video games until I feel better but mistakes in that upset me and I'm back to where I started.

I'm living in what seems like a perpetual state of deep sadness and anger. I feel absolutely worthless.

And now it's all beginning to ruin my cosplays. Every time I gather up a bit of confidence in myself, I'm always reminded how someone else is always better suited for what I'm attempting to do and with that, all the desire and joy falls away to the point where I can't even look at any cosplays I own for at least a day or two. When something doesn't work out the way I'd hoped it just throws me into a deeper spiral. I'm supposed to be preparing for a convention. I have things to finish. I'm in panels. What in the hell is my problem? I don't even feel good enough to be doing anything. It's not as if I'm "perfect" for anything as is...and I'm not capable of stepping out looking photoshopped. Not that I'd want to anyway, but still. For once I just want things to work out. I want to enjoy these experiences and learn from them so that I can grow as a person. I want to tackle my problems. But how is a shy boy with a speech impediment and panic attacks supposed to sit there and be bombarded by questions from rabid fans.

I'm fairly sure none of this makes any sense but I need to put it somewhere.

And I suppose the worst part is...I don't want to be like this. I'm trying so hard to be happy but no matter what I do, I don't seem to be able to manage it.
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Unread 06-25-2013, 04:19 AM   #6040
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Weirdest dream ever.

The fine details escape me, but it was basically this...

My cosplay group and I were at a convention (plus some other people I didn't know, but I guess they were supposed to be my friends as well), except we were at my friend's house, not a hotel. The majority of us were in my friend's room (which was slightly off from what it actually looks like), but the rest of them were in her sister's room which is across the hall.

In my dream, there was a giant balcony off the left (which isn't actually there; weird) and I see this actour I love, but apparently he wasn't a guest at the con (and it's 2x strange because he's a French actour and I don't think he speaks English), and then there's a gap in what I remember and bam, he's in our "room" (which didn't look like my friend's house anymore), and everyone in the room is rushing around trying to find cosplay stuff, and I'm throwing stuff at the wall because I forgot to bring my body paint.

Two of my friends are putting on their costumes in the bathroom, but there's like five more who can't change because the guy is there, and one of them asks him to leave but he just looks at them like he doesn't understand so apparently I whip out perfect French from nowhere and tell him, and so he leaves.

(The funny part about that is that at the last con we were at, the friend who asked the guy to leave in the dream actually started changing her clothes accidentally with my friend Michael in the room without realizing he was there.)

After that, I just decide to just wear my costume without the body paint and I'm not even really mad anymore (which is how I know it was a dream! XD)

When everyone in that room is dressed, I stick my head out the door (which is magically my friend's house again) to see if everyone in the other room is dressed but there's no one there except the one guy who is just staring out the window.

And that's the last part I remember.

I just thought I'd post it here because I haven't been able to tell anyone how off-putting it was XD
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Unread 06-25-2013, 04:43 AM   #6041
Chikkijet
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I'm mad coz I didn't get days off for my next event. But they gave me four days off just before. Argh. At least the ticket was cheap and I can pass it on to a friend!

Tea for Thought, sorry to hear you're not feeling great. You mention a speech issue, can I ask if you have seen anyone about this? Sometimes working with a coach can improve things and in turn your confidence would grow. Or you could try joining an improvisational drama group. Generally, the atmosphere is supportive and they don't judge you on what you can't do, only on what you are able to achieve. At events, perhaps you could make a small card that says you cannot talk much today, and link it to a FB page or an Ask.fm where you are happy to answer questions about your cosplay?

Not sure if any of these suggestions are any help, but know that there are actually many people going through similar feelings to you, you are not alone! Just take it small steps at a time. Try not to compare yourself to other people, it's much easier to like what you do when you hold it to your own standards no other people's! If it makes YOU happy, that is what is important. You'd be surprised how something *I* think is a crappy job other people think is the best thing they've ever seen! Hope you have a great day
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Unread 06-25-2013, 07:52 AM   #6042
MidnightMinx90
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lithium Flower View Post
Eventually you will find a delicate balance between hating people and being able to quietly exist in their presence.

Like me!

I quietly hate everyone and no one knows until I've robbed them blind and stolen their cat.
Sounds great, especially the piece about stealing cats.
Our neighbour's cat keeps popping in on us, like she's making her second home here.

Maked me realize how much I miss the cats we had, but had to leave behind when we moved.
It's just a five min drive, so I could see them again, but I simply CANNOT STAND the guy who used to be my step-dad, so much that it's making me unwilling to go back there for the sake of the cats, no matter how much I miss them.

The guy's been practically making me feel miserable damn near every day for the ten years mom was with him
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Unread 06-25-2013, 04:29 PM   #6043
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chikkijet View Post

Tea for Thought, sorry to hear you're not feeling great. You mention a speech issue, can I ask if you have seen anyone about this? Sometimes working with a coach can improve things and in turn your confidence would grow. Or you could try joining an improvisational drama group. Generally, the atmosphere is supportive and they don't judge you on what you can't do, only on what you are able to achieve. At events, perhaps you could make a small card that says you cannot talk much today, and link it to a FB page or an Ask.fm where you are happy to answer questions about your cosplay?

Not sure if any of these suggestions are any help, but know that there are actually many people going through similar feelings to you, you are not alone! Just take it small steps at a time. Try not to compare yourself to other people, it's much easier to like what you do when you hold it to your own standards no other people's! If it makes YOU happy, that is what is important. You'd be surprised how something *I* think is a crappy job other people think is the best thing they've ever seen! Hope you have a great day
I did throughout elementary school...so I'd originally thought that it went away but as it turns out when I become nervous, it comes back. Since both panels I'll be participating in are "Ask a Character" type panels...being able to get into character will help some...I'm just worried that if I become too nervous, I won't be able to speak at all....and that would be terribly embarrassing.

I guess everything is made more difficult because as it's been said...we're always our own worst critic.
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Thou canst not then be false to any man.Ē

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Unread 06-25-2013, 06:11 PM   #6044
dx7879
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*sighs* when you try and cut off your crappy friends because you found out they don't really consider you a friend, yet they keep messaging you ONLY when they need something :/ Do they just not realize that they're messaging me only when it's convenient for them?
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Unread 06-25-2013, 07:12 PM   #6045
Lithium Flower
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dx7879 View Post
Do they just not realize that they're messaging me only when it's convenient for them?
Generally the point is they don't care.
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