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Unread 01-12-2016, 10:34 PM   #1
Tessa88
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Have you ever been called ugly?

When I was little I was bullied and called ugly by the other kids. When I was a teenager it didnīt change at all, I was the typical nerd and lab rat (once I was even called ogre Fiona) I get rejected by every boy I liked. When I was a young adult it was still the same, I get rejected by every boy. I tried to change my looks, I lost weight and everything (also for cosplay), but it didnīt work. By now Iīm 27, and my life is still the same, I have never had a boyfriend or even kiss somebody. No one besides my family has ever called me pretty. I gave up and I try every day to overcome the way I look and that it seems I am not supposed to be with someone. Iīm trying very hard in learning how to love myself (although is kind of difficult). I want to be more confident, and maybe cosplay again without thinking that I look awful and I shouldnīt be doing it.
Have you ever been called ugly? How do you manage this kind of feelings?
Thank you for your responses!

Sorry for my bad English (feel free to correct me, I will appreciate it)
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Unread 01-16-2016, 01:22 PM   #2
riannajaye
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I am also 27 and have definitely been called ugly. Usually by assholes online, but it hurt all the same. I have had lots of boyfriends but that's because I'm usually the one to pursue them. Chances are there are tons of people out there that think you are beautiful and would love to approach you but just don't know how. Muster up a little courage and work on your confidence and talk to new people.

I know that's a lot easier said than done, and I still struggle a lot with my looks and confidence and self-esteem but sometimes it helps to just... shove those feelings aside for awhile. Surround yourself with people that are positive and don't say awful things to you and that will help you learn to love yourself.
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Unread 01-23-2016, 03:39 PM   #3
Amanita
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I got called ugly on of all places, a Skyscraper forum, because somebody disagreed with me over the merits of a building. He called me a monstrosity who would never be classified as a real woman. That and he told me that I needed to start life as a real woman, and stop posting on the forum like a man. WTF? Yeah I reported his ass, and he was banned, as that was not the first ignorant comment he had made.
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Unread 01-23-2016, 05:15 PM   #4
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Sure, I've been called ugly. I don't have any illusions I'm above-average in the looks department: I'm probably just about bang-on average. People have called me ugly at various points, and fat, and other crap, but that sort of thing isn't really about your looks. It's more about how mean the person saying it is.

You're probably unremarkable in the looks department. Most people are. I am. You might even be ugly, though that's not really the word I'd choose to use for anyone.

It doesn't matter for cosplay, at all. If it helps, what I do is focus on making a costume that is so awesome that it barely even matters what the person in it looks like. There's an enormous confidence boost that comes along with knowing that no matter what, you are sparkly and big and anyone can see you're a splendid fucker from across the room. Being a little more splendid out of costume can help you carry that feeling into the rest of your life, too.

Short version: if your body isn't fancy, put fancy things on your body. It helps.
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Unread 01-23-2016, 06:17 PM   #5
CezzaXV
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mangochutney View Post
Short version: if your body isn't fancy, put fancy things on your body. It helps.
This. Oh god, this. I have a few different hobbies and things that go on in my life that require dressing up, and it feels so good to be fancy. I highly recommend it!

It seems like you have some confidence issues. It's a really unfortunate fact of life that bullies are often able to spot that trait in people and find whatever they need to say to make that person feel bad.

Looks can help, but they're not the defining thing that will make or break a relationship. A huge number of people go through life worrying they're never going to find someone else and it's perfectly normal. A great number of these people do go on to have meaningful relationships. It's quite often one of those things that just happen unexpectedly, though there are things that you can do to try and speed up the process. Cosplay is great for that - it's a good way of meeting people who have similar interests to you. I don't know the situation of the guys who have turned you down in the past, but it feels a bit like you might have been forcing it a bit, which can scare a lot of people off. Just try to make friends and let it be natural, and see what happens. I knew my boyfriend for 6 years before he was my boyfriend.
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Unread 01-23-2016, 07:49 PM   #6
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Yeah, my mom used to call me fat and ugly sometimes, which gave me body image issues I'm still working against.

In middle school I got called the same. Also was variously teased on my uh I guess boyish looks and lack of interest in women's fashion.

So, people will say whatever. Just ignore them. It's not like worth should be measured by how aesthetic random people find you to be. Just focus on what makes you happy and feel good, and if people don't wanna know, forget them.
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Unread 01-25-2016, 01:46 PM   #7
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I absolutely have. I have been called all sorts of mean and unsavory things, more so after I grew a backbone and started standing up for myself and my beliefs. It definitely hurts, even when it's coming from a total stranger on the internet, but I have learned to take a deep breath, remind myself that I give zero shits about that person's opinion, and I move on. Now I actually find it funny most of the time.

There are things I wish I could change about my appearance, but overall I think I am attractive, and that is all that matters. You just have to have confidence in yourself. It's hard, but if you fake confidence for long enough you start to actually believe it. xD
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Unread 01-26-2016, 12:27 AM   #8
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I was called ugly once by a neighbor preteen bully in my Midna cosplay while on my way to do a photoshoot. I thought it was hilarious.
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Unread 01-26-2016, 08:06 AM   #9
Otaku Gunso
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Amanita View Post
I got called ugly on of all places, a Skyscraper forum, because somebody disagreed with me over the merits of a building. He called me a monstrosity who would never be classified as a real woman. That and he told me that I needed to start life as a real woman, and stop posting on the forum like a man. WTF? Yeah I reported his ass, and he was banned, as that was not the first ignorant comment he had made.
Oh my goodness who says someone isn't a real woman for posting on a forum o_O that sounds like an ignorant cave man o_o

I'm trying to figure out whether or not the OP is a bot seeing as to the fact that they have 1 post but it says 0 in there post count ...
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Unread 01-26-2016, 01:43 PM   #10
KittytheSheGeek
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Viveeh View Post
I was called ugly once by a neighbor preteen bully in my Midna cosplay while on my way to do a photoshoot. I thought it was hilarious.
That's hilarious, because you look AMAZING in that cosplay!


Man. The insults Muggles have thrown my way while I'm in costume always make me laugh. It's like.... yes, rando person. I know I look strange. I am fully aware that this is not normal attire for every day. I also know it's not Halloween, but thank you anyway for the unnecessary reminder that it is no longer October. If you're trying to insult me, you can at least try to be creative.
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Unread 01-26-2016, 02:07 PM   #11
LoliLovely
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Oh hell yes. Basically middle school was hell because of this. I was quite tomboy in 6th grade and was "weird" cause at the time I was in the weeb stage. As I got older it started to stop, and actually a few of the people that called me ugly are now trying to ask me out LMAO. High school wasn't better because the guys were jerks to anyone that wasn't in the popular group of girls. I still have issues with my image because I'm not quite skinny and sometimes feel huge and that I'm not very pretty because people take horrid photos of me, but in the end, it's really just knowing yourself and loving who you are. Truthfully, cosplay really helped a lot with my confidence over the 8-year span of doing it.
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Unread 01-27-2016, 04:32 PM   #12
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Yep, and by someone that I had a crush on. It was one of the worst days in my life as a young teenager, and a day that I've successfully blocked out... until I read this thread topic.

Calling someone "ugly" is one of the worst things that you can say to someone, and I've vowed to never use that word when it comes to someone's appearance. Thank God there was no internet when I was in school.
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Unread 01-27-2016, 05:04 PM   #13
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You bet I've been called ugly. And like the OP I was overweight for a good part of my life. I still am now, but it was something I was so insecure about that I basically wound up being bulimic for about 10 years. Nowadays, I'll admit I look a lot better than I did in my teens. I ended up getting contacts (I wore thick glasses for a number of years), dyed my hair blonde, and my acne pretty much cleared up. Am I saying all these things will fix everything? Of course not. I do feel a lot better about how I look, but it's not magic. There are days where no matter what I do, I still can't stand for the life of me how I look.

Cosplay actually really helped me feel good about myself. Not only has it helped me get to know my body better and look at it in a more neutral way (through measuring through costumes and posing for photos) but honestly, it's super fun to dress up in elaborate outfits and what other time can I be someone else for a little while?
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Unread 01-27-2016, 10:49 PM   #14
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I'm so shy and avoidant that I don't think I've ever heard that insult, but I was definitely convinced for many years that I was indeed ugly, especially in high school. I was so convinced that I was embarrassed to be seen, haha. My self-esteem in that area has increased a lot since then, but it's no fun feeling that way.
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Unread 02-01-2016, 07:44 PM   #15
ilafatyu
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Like Kitty, I was so withdrawn in high school that I didn't notice if people called me things. I didn't like the way I looked, so I always wore giant bulky sweatshirts (even in the summer) and grew out my hair long enough to cover my face. Now I realize that I was disappointed in my appearance because of gender things (hooray), and I don't give any shits whatsoever. I'm 24.

But I'm lucky. I was considered a pretty girl with a quietness that I've been told made me more eerie than made me a target, so nobody bothered me. Even now, the things I'm insecure over, nobody else cares because hey, that's a pretty girl, who cares if she has wide hips and twig arms?
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