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Unread 09-23-2012, 07:13 PM   #1
lulu.doll
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Some space, please??

I just remembered this today...
I attended Otakon this past summer as Panty - what I'm wearing in my icon currently. It was Saturday night and something went down really bad and stuff happened, but basically, I ended up crying/sobbing really bad over it in the corner of the convention center with my Stocking. She sat next to me, also about to cry --she ended up crying when our friends came to meet us-- but as I was crying, I had a major random nosebleed. So we waddled over to the bathroom. Then, after we came out I was still crying, it was obvious I was crying, my makeup was smeared, my face was red, there were tears still streaming down my face--and some people who can clearly see my face were asking for pictures. I mean, really? We're trying to go back to our corner but you step in front of us, asking for pictures while I'm obviously sobbing?
My Stocking goes, "Um, well," --she's super shy and unable to get the words across to the people holding their cameras, ready to take a picture. They look right at me, sees that I'm crying, but decides to wait to see if I'm going to pose for them.

Really? Can you have some courtesy? Ca you give me some space, please??

Has anything similar happen to you? Where someone asks for a picture when you're obviously not in the situation to have a picture taken?

Last edited by lulu.doll : 09-23-2012 at 07:16 PM.
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Unread 09-23-2012, 07:25 PM   #2
Mitsukichan
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Oh man, I'm sorry to hear about your experience. That was a really bad time for someone to ask for your picture and they shouldn't have.

I haven't had anything nearly that bad happen. The closest thing I've experienced is people taking my picture when I'm eating. When I'm eating anything, I really don't want my picture taken. Some people just snapped pictures of me eating in my cosplay without my permission and I was taken off guard. I didn't say anything though but I found it rude.

I also find it a tad annoying when people ask for a picture when I'm obviously eating. I wish they could have waited to ask at another time, when I wasn't eating. I find it to be a hassle when I need to stop eating just to get my cosplay accessories (ex: gloves) on and pose for a picture. I've actually asked people to look for my group later for pictures when I was hungry and couldn't be bothered to stop eating for a picture.

I think that cosplayers do need their own space at times and people need to respect that. I mean, sure, it's cool that you like the cosplay so much that you want a picture. But I feel that there are times where you shouldn't ask for pictures and wait until a better time to ask.
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Unread 09-23-2012, 07:32 PM   #3
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Lulu-- I am so sorry to hear that your Saturday was awful.

Mostly I've had the food problem, but I do remember once (also Saturday of this last Otakon, actually) that someone asked for a photo while my friend was working on my makeup. I thought it was pretty clear that we were a little preoccupied, but who would've wanted a photo when I only had eyeshadow on half of my face anyways? *laughs* (They were patient when I said that I needed to let her finish, which was nice!)
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Unread 09-23-2012, 07:42 PM   #4
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I think you have to realize that many people at cons really fit the "otaku" stereotype and have VERY poor social skills. Common sense doesn't really compute for them as they spend most of their time in a basement interacting with model figures, watching anime and playing video games.

I know you said you were shy, so it might have been difficult for you to say that you needed a moment to compose yourself. In that case, perhaps you should have removed yourself from the building to get some air, I find that helps me when I'm upset.
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Unread 09-23-2012, 07:44 PM   #5
Viveeh
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I was actually in almost the same situation in the last con I went to. I got so overly stressed before the contest that I started to cry and had somebody come and ask me for a photo... But they waited as I told them to, while I dried my face and put my makeup back on. Awkward as hell.
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Unread 09-23-2012, 07:47 PM   #6
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I don't think I've really had anything that bad happen, but it seems that when people ask for pictures they are sort of annoying about how they're wanting you to hurry up and pose for them. At the last con, I had a backpack full of manga I was selling, and someone wanted to look at what was in it, and while they were, someone asked to take a picture. It took a second to hand the bag off to my friend and explain if they want something, just take their money and tell them thank you, etc, and when I look back at the person with the camera, they're actually tapping their foot and glaring at me.

...dude, it's like, if you really want a picture of my costume, you NEED to chill out >.>
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Unread 09-23-2012, 08:01 PM   #7
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Not the same situation at all, but I had a rude photographer at my first (and only so fr) con. I was in my Squll cosplay and I didn't have my jacket or gloves on, and my gunblade was laying next to me, and I said, "OH SWEET OK, give me a sec though I gotta get the coat and gloves on, when I did I went to grab the gunblade and they left..It's like..Dude, just wait a sec..If you want a good pic you can give me 1 min to get ready..
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Unread 09-24-2012, 12:20 AM   #8
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When I was dressed as Cait Sith (I was a giant pink mog, it was essentially a mascot costume) people stopped me all the time. It got a little annoying when people would want a picture while I'm taking a break. Most were generally understanding, as I was practically wearing a mattress worth of foam and it was near the end of May when it usually gets warm.

Thankfully, I had someone acting as a handler, so it was a little easier to deal with. Though, I would also like to point out that it's generally rude to get up in someone's face when they can literally not see further than you would if you were looking through a couple cardboard tubes.
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Unread 09-24-2012, 01:05 AM   #9
Blue Leader
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I'm sorry to hear about this, that really must have been hard. It's very unfortunate. Instead of asking for pictures they should have offered help-- or at least that's what I would have done...

But as was already said, some people, especially at conventions like this, tend to have some poor social skills. Not to mention that for some people-- more than there should be-- just tend to lack common sense. They're so zoned out of reality and into their own little world that they don't realize what's happening around them. Chances are they didn't even realize that you were crying, they were just so lost in the moment that they didn't even think about it.

While I haven't had anything quite exactly the same, I have had people asking for pictures when I'm preoccupied with something else. It usually happens when I'm talking to someone, trying to get some information, or even adjusting my costume (or putting it back on after taking it off for a break). Or when I'm clearly trying to catch up to someone. I usually just let it slide right off of me and ask them to just wait a moment, or say "sure, if it's alright that I don't have <costume piece> on yet". I know that they don't mean anything mean by it and they're not trying to be rude-- they're just excited about my costume and want a picture, and they're not really paying attention to anything else.
I've also had people ask me for a picture outside of a convention at the worst times. Most recently it was at Star Wars Celebration VI when I was walking over to the convention center. Hundred degrees plus outside, I'm head-to-toe in costume and sweating like a pig, have a quarter of my costume off just to try to get a little bit cooler, and someone asked me for a picture. I told them it was alright as long as they didn't mind that my costume wasn't entirely on yet, they took the picture and went on. I don't blame them, but they could have picked a better time. At least give me a chance to cool off and not look like I've just taken a shower in my outfit. Heh.

Unfortunately, I did something like that once and felt really bad about it afterwards. Someone was eating when I asked for a picture and I didn't notice it (their back was to me and it just looked like they were standing by the table). They let me take a picture, but boy did I feel like a jerk.

I've also seen where people who have been asked for pictures have been extremely rude to the person asking for a picture. But that's for a different topic...

Last edited by Blue Leader : 09-24-2012 at 01:11 AM.
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Unread 09-24-2012, 04:02 AM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by StarsCASSiOPEiA View Post
Lulu-- I am so sorry to hear that your Saturday was awful.

Mostly I've had the food problem, but I do remember once (also Saturday of this last Otakon, actually) that someone asked for a photo while my friend was working on my makeup. I thought it was pretty clear that we were a little preoccupied, but who would've wanted a photo when I only had eyeshadow on half of my face anyways? *laughs* (They were patient when I said that I needed to let her finish, which was nice!)
OP sorry about your con experience! D:

Also, Stars is it sad to say in the least I've been like that? Or rather, I WAS the person who asked someone for a photo? It was an Avengers group, and I'm all ">< They look so amazing" and they look pretty rushed and tell me to hold on since they we're working on the Loki cosplayer's make up. I waited a bit, but realized I couldn't stay as the area got over-crowded for the AMV contest, or Cosplay contest. I wasn't sure exactly which, but I think they were entering it and so they told us if we need to go we can try catching them later. See, what was in my mind during that was "Shit! They're perfect! D: What if I never see them again?" Since this was my first big convention and unlike the other con I went to I only saw a handful of the same people. So, sometimes us photographers don't mean to catch you during the times you're not ready.

Of course, this goes normally only with situations like: Rushing to a panel, about to go get lunch, waiting for an event to start (also being one of the first there so photographer doesn't know you're busy), resting, or lack of make-up/pieces of a costume. The other times, like when a cosplayer is crying or eating you should know better than to bother them and just walk around a bit or take pictures of other cosplayers.
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Unread 09-24-2012, 06:33 AM   #11
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Have two stories relating to this...

About two years ago at a convention, I was just having a terrible day. Nothing was going right, I was feeling sick and to top it all over my feet were just killing me in the boots I was wearing. I finally was able to find a spot to sit down to rest my feet. As I sat down, everything just kind of hit me at once, and I started to tear up. As that happened, a guy came over and asked for a picture. I really just wanted to yell at him, to just give me some space. But being the nice person I am, I just signed and try to compose myself, and just asked if I can pose sitting (On account that me feet were hurting). To which he reluctantly said fine.

The second story happened at this years Otakon actually. I was with my group, and we all waiting around for other members to arrive. About a month or so before, I injured my back, and it now was starting to hurt again. The cosplay I was wearing really wasn't helping, since I was wearing very flat shoes, and had big props hanging from my hips. That plus, I was REALLY hot. I was in a really foul mood because of the pain, and was starting to cry. Once again guy came over and asked for a pic, and the nice person I am, I said yes. Quickly composed myself, and posed for him. Funny enough I did mange to find the picture online later and I guess I am just happy I didn't look like I was crying, I just look very pissed off.

Moral of the story for me...I have to learn not to be so nice.
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Unread 09-24-2012, 08:13 AM   #12
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Unhappy

I've had people ask for photos during the.. wrong time.

First of, some background information. Last year's February I had a bad lung sickness which, although I'm mostly fine nowadays, still bothers me in various ways every now and then.. often in the form of sudden chest pains and I get out of breath and/or get problems breathing veeeery easily if I do anything physically demanding like running, jumping or carrying/dragging stuff for a while. You get the idea.

So let's get on with the story.
Both these experiences are from the same con and happened during the same time. The con in question was this year's Desucon in Finland.
So it was the Sunday of the con and me and my hotel buddies had dragged all our luggage to the con because we had to check out from the hotel that morning. The hotel was a bit away from the con and we walked all days. Sunday was our Hakuōki: Shinsengumi Kitan group cosplay day so my dear friend Ri-tan was Saitō and my other friend was Chizuru and Chizuru's friend I don't remember if she cosplayed or not. I was Okita. Anyways, when we got to the con and stood in line to leave our luggages I was feeling bad.. and by bad I mean craptacularly bad. I was panicking because my breathing was all fucked up (and sounded that way too), breathing pains, my balance was off etc... I felt like I would faint if I didn't sit down soon.
It took forever to get our luggage into the cloakroom (or whatever it's called) and when we were done everyone separated except me and my friend who was cosplaying Saitō. We went to sit on the black sofa-chair thingies close to the con entrance. I was feeling crap and trying so hard to get my breathing back to normal and then a random con-goer appears and asks for a photo. The hell man? I was very obviously in pain and you had to ask for a photo just now?



We two looked at each other and agreed without saying a word. After it was done I quickly sat down again.. and then someone else came asking for a photo! Agrsfghfsgh why now of all times?? Accepted again and while the photographer was picking up her camera I was clutching my fist over my chest.. that's just something I do by instinct when it hurts. But then suddenly I got one of these very sharp pains and couldn't breathe for a split-second.. so what I did was that I doubled over in pain... and all that seemed to happen at just that very moment when she took a photo. Ugh, bad timing or what...

I wonder why they had to ask for photos during that time? Both of them seemed to know Hakuouki so I wonder if they thought I was just pretending to be in character? Okita has a lung sickness you see.....
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Unread 09-24-2012, 11:37 AM   #13
Viveeh
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Blood Sword, do you have an inhaler for that? I keep one in my purse because I'm allergic to cigarette smoke and get similar symptoms, and I think it would be a good idea for you, too. >< Sorry that happened to you, btw!
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Unread 09-24-2012, 04:29 PM   #14
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Blood Sword, do you have an inhaler for that? I keep one in my purse because I'm allergic to cigarette smoke and get similar symptoms, and I think it would be a good idea for you, too. >< Sorry that happened to you, btw!
No I don't have. I used to have an inhaler when in my early teens though, but that's because I had mild asthma back then.
I only get breathing problems if I do something physically demanding, it's not because of allergy. My stamina is just really weak. Breathing problems tends to go away after varying amounts of time but it's still very unpleasant when it happens.
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Unread 09-24-2012, 05:41 PM   #15
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But as was already said, some people, especially at conventions like this, tend to have some poor social skills. Not to mention that for some people-- more than there should be-- just tend to lack common sense. They're so zoned out of reality and into their own little world that they don't realize what's happening around them. Chances are they didn't even realize that you were crying, they were just so lost in the moment that they didn't even think about it.
I think some people just aren't very good at reading body language or other social cues. Some are just inexperienced, not dealing with people enough, others just have a general inability... many people take empathy and social skills for granted, as it comes natural to many, but not everyone has those things and we tend to remember the few who don't rather than the many who do.

The best thing to do is say 'no', that is pretty universal and don't feel you have to apologize about saying no either.

Also if crying is in-character for your cosplay people may assume you are acting rather than genuinely upset, again just say 'no'. The same goes for a generally angry or cynical character.

Last edited by Access : 09-24-2012 at 05:59 PM.
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