Go Back   Cosplay.com > Cosplay Chat > General Cosplay Chat

Reply
Thread Tools Rating: Thread Rating: 3 votes, 5.00 average.
Unread 09-24-2012, 06:01 PM   #16
Lithium Flower
Handphones
 
Lithium Flower's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 15,236
I wouldn't say that this is a matter of social cues because crying isn't really a social cue, it's you being in distress. This person has NO IDEA what could have been happening, you could have been attacked, harmed, robbed, or gotten distressing news. That's not really a social cue.

Some people are just too involved in themselves to care about others.

Cosplayers often face people who are too involved with themselves to remember that the person behind the costume is not their super favorite kawaii desu~ character and are too wrapped up in their own mind to think about other people.
__________________
Iíll tell you what people look like, really: they look like flames. Or like the stars, on a clear night in the wilderness.
LiveStream
Emmers Drawberry: Professional Superhero
◆○◆○◆○◆○◆○
Tumblr silliness.

◆○◆○◆○◆○◆○
Deviantart of more super silliness

Lithium Flower is offline   Reply With Quote
 
Unread 09-24-2012, 06:34 PM   #17
Access
Registered User
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 2,038
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lithium Flower View Post
I wouldn't say that this is a matter of social cues because crying isn't really a social cue, it's you being in distress. This person has NO IDEA what could have been happening, you could have been attacked, harmed, robbed, or gotten distressing news. That's not really a social cue.
Well if someone is obviously crying that is one thing... most people won't miss that. If someone is not being obvious about it, that's when social cues and other things are more important.
Access is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 09-24-2012, 06:51 PM   #18
Mangochutney
saucy condiment
 
Mangochutney's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 6,121
If the cues aren't taken, make them explicit. Sucks but sometimes you have to, because someone is being a jerk or is oblivious or pushy. "No, I can't right now" is perfectly fine, and it's more polite than you need to be. If all you can manage is "no" or "leave me alone god damn it", that'll get the point across and that's what you should say.
__________________
*
Workin' on:
Tom Petty [Final Fantasy XV] (9%)
Bondage Finch [Bondage Finch Adventures] (12%)
Melisandre, the Red Woman [Game of Thrones] (43%)
Mangochutney is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 09-25-2012, 07:34 PM   #19
XxChibiArtistxX
Megaweenie Extraordinaire
 
XxChibiArtistxX's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 246
I've had something happen to me like this before. It wasn't as bad as your experience, OP (That sounded like it was terrible! D: ), but it was still pretty shitty.

So I'm at Anime Boston with a good friend of mine, just hanging out. My friend had never worn her cosplay shoes before the convention, so naturally her feet started to hurt. This goes on until about halfway through the day, until she literally almost can't walk anymore and we have to sit down.

She takes her shoes off and we notice that her feet are actually bleeding all over the place. I had a couple of band-aids on me, but no where near enough. I go into panic/mama bear mode and the pair of us hobble over into the Prudential Mall (which is connected to the convention center) to find a drugstore or something.

We're looking at the mall map, obviously distressed, when this random lady and her husband show up and ask what's going on. I briefly explain conventions (which she then likens to 'Jpop Funtime Now.' Umm...no.), and then ask the lady if she knows where I could find a drugstore, since there wasn't one in the mall. She tells me how to get to one, and I'm about to leave, when I look over and I see her husband, with his Iphone out, blatantly taking pictures of me. I give him a "wtf are you doing?!" look, grab my friend, and rush off.

Tbh, if I wasn't as panicked as I was, I would have called him out, and I'm kinda sad to say I didn't .

[/rant]
__________________
2013 Cons
Anime BostonConnecticonAnother Anime Convention

Possible 2013 Cosplays
Velvet Squiddleknit Rose LalondeFem!GamzeeGod Tier Roxy LalondeJack Frost

TumblrTwitter
XxChibiArtistxX is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 09-25-2012, 08:42 PM   #20
SA2R
King of the Skies
 
SA2R's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 917
This actually hasn't happened to me before. If I am not photo ready, I stay in the restroom.
My friend however~ Has a Kuro Quade-suite. And when she is taking her head off to breath it is seriously when everything and their mother wants a pic. She starts yelling at them, saying "please don't" and so on. For the most part, people don't listen~ And she starts crying to me about it...
__________________
Upcoming cosplays:

Link - Hyrule Warriors
Tomoe - Kamisama kiss
Sebastian - Book of Circus
Snake - Book of Circus
Wen Yang - Dynasty warriors


( ī ▽ ` )v

SA2R is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 09-25-2012, 08:42 PM   #21
antisocialist
Registered User
 
antisocialist's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 77
As i've said before, people go to cons and take all rules of engagement out of the window.

I've declined for photographs before and people have denied me photographs of them. It's fair.
antisocialist is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 09-25-2012, 09:33 PM   #22
Falclon
Registered User
 
Falclon's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 473
Quote:
Originally Posted by XxChibiArtistxX View Post
...when I look over and I see her husband, with his Iphone out, blatantly taking pictures of me. I give him a "wtf are you doing?!" look, grab my friend, and rush off.

Tbh, if I wasn't as panicked as I was, I would have called him out, and I'm kinda sad to say I didn't .

[/rant]
I'm not going to lie, people outside the con have always been the rudest to me about taking pictures. A lot of them sit there and try to be sneaky about taking the picture or just take it out in the open without asking. Do they not realize if they just asked I could give them a nice posed picture? I really appreciate the ones outside cons that have the courtesy to ask first because even if you have no clue what's happening, it's basic decency to ask before taking pictures. Inside cons people have always asked me first, except when others are already taking a picture and they walk up to take one, which isn't a big deal.
__________________
Currently working on: Hakuei Ren
Falclon is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 09-26-2012, 12:03 AM   #23
totorolover
Sleep is 4 loserS!
 
totorolover's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Posts: 697
sorry to hear about that... some people just dont get the clue. you have to be able to at least tell them "sorry now is not a good time". i have to say that sometimes, and i tell them that i will still be around the convention, maybe they can catch u later.
__________________
If at first you dont succeed. . . try, try again.
After the third try you can throw your sewing machine out the window.


costume list

chii- clamp no kieske cover
Dream - sandman comics
caption harlock (for husband)
totoro dress (daughter)
totorolover is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 09-26-2012, 06:26 AM   #24
defectedmodel
Android
 
defectedmodel's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 241
Sorry to hear about your crappy experience at the con *hug*

Like some others said in the thread, people have also asked to take photos of me when I was -clearly- eating. I usually say yes, but it does bug me.

What annoys me the most, is when I'm walking around with people, talking/laughing, and people just snap your photo without any warning.
__________________
Anime North 2013:
Nana Osaki - Friday
Alisa Bosconovich - Saturday
Biker Sailor Saturn - Saturday night

Facebook Page :3
defectedmodel is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 09-26-2012, 08:24 AM   #25
Starlit Rose
Breaking out of my cage
 
Starlit Rose's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Posts: 2,104
I have to say, it's kind of funny how most people in this thread say they end up posing for the photos, despite how inappropriate the timing of the request. I'm guilty of it myself, so I can't talk, but it's just kind of funny.

I've had people ask me for photos while I'm eating, and I've even had some people wait for me and my friends to finish eating just to get a picture. Very awkward, but at the same time I understand why they do it. They are afraid they won't catch us again later, which is a legitimate concern, I guess, because it can be very hard to find people sometimes, but man...can't we just chalk it up to bad timing and leave the cosplayers alone? lol It's hard to not get a picture of an awesome cosplayer when you see them, but take two seconds to think about their situation and decide if it's fair to ask for a photo then and there. Would you ask to take a photo of a cosplayer on the John? Oh who am I kidding, I'm sure there are plenty of crazies who would probably do that too.
__________________
Upcoming Costume List:
Barnaby Brooks Jr. (hero suit) - Tiger & Bunny - 85%
Armin - Attack on Titan/Shingeki no Kyojin - 100%
Levi - Attack on Titan/Shingeki no Kyojin - 100%
3DM Gear - Attack on Titan/Shingeki no Kyojin - 90% (needs repairs)
Lux (classic skin) - League of Legends - 10%

Facebook || Tumblr
Starlit Rose is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 09-26-2012, 10:00 AM   #26
tereshkova2001
Registered User
 
tereshkova2001's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 311
An author friend of mine was once followed *into the bathroom stall* by someone asking for her autograph. So yes, people can be that self-centered and oblivious.

The only time someone's taken photos of me during lunch, it was an acquaintance who thought I wouldn't mind. It bothered me a little, but I wasn't going to make a fuss.
tereshkova2001 is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 09-26-2012, 10:37 AM   #27
Lithium Flower
Handphones
 
Lithium Flower's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 15,236
Quote:
Originally Posted by Access View Post
Well if someone is obviously crying that is one thing... most people won't miss that. If someone is not being obvious about it, that's when social cues and other things are more important.
I think it was pretty clear the OP was in obvious distress as described by them being covered in runny makeup and balling their eyes out.

Sorry, but I am less forgiving of people.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mangochutney View Post
If the cues aren't taken, make them explicit. Sucks but sometimes you have to, because someone is being a jerk or is oblivious or pushy. "No, I can't right now" is perfectly fine, and it's more polite than you need to be. If all you can manage is "no" or "leave me alone god damn it", that'll get the point across and that's what you should say.
Whatever you need to do to make yourself comfortable in the situation is what you need to do. If that means being pushy and angry, then so be it. You don't owe anyone anything and certainly not when your space is being invaded and you feel uncomfortable and upset with the scenario.

Your a human being, not a doll, you have feelings that need to be respected.
__________________
Iíll tell you what people look like, really: they look like flames. Or like the stars, on a clear night in the wilderness.
LiveStream
Emmers Drawberry: Professional Superhero
◆○◆○◆○◆○◆○
Tumblr silliness.

◆○◆○◆○◆○◆○
Deviantart of more super silliness

Lithium Flower is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 09-26-2012, 11:36 AM   #28
sephygoth
Hater lover
 
sephygoth's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 2,423
Countless times people take pictures when they should be looking with their OWN eyes and thinking with their OWN brains.
You guys all have some crappy stories there, I'm with Lithium Flower : unfortunatly for some people I act upon it. Those random guys that won't go away, no matter where you go, they assume your costume is absolutely their business and ONLY for cameras. I wrote about it in my Tumblr, but basically I had another stalker at Dragoncon which upon notifying security? was promtly snagged and chucked out.
people behind the camera do not own you and you don't owe them a dam thing, wave them off the instant they get scopey/buggy.
Most are great, but also most forget that there's a dam person under that getup(good photog or not)

Last edited by sephygoth : 09-26-2012 at 11:39 AM.
sephygoth is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 09-27-2012, 09:27 AM   #29
Asa Gohan
Broke College Student
 
Asa Gohan's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 386
Quote:
Originally Posted by lulu.doll View Post
I just remembered this today...
I attended Otakon this past summer as Panty - what I'm wearing in my icon currently. It was Saturday night and something went down really bad and stuff happened, but basically, I ended up crying/sobbing really bad over it in the corner of the convention center with my Stocking. She sat next to me, also about to cry --she ended up crying when our friends came to meet us-- but as I was crying, I had a major random nosebleed. So we waddled over to the bathroom. Then, after we came out I was still crying, it was obvious I was crying, my makeup was smeared, my face was red, there were tears still streaming down my face--and some people who can clearly see my face were asking for pictures. I mean, really? We're trying to go back to our corner but you step in front of us, asking for pictures while I'm obviously sobbing?
My Stocking goes, "Um, well," --she's super shy and unable to get the words across to the people holding their cameras, ready to take a picture. They look right at me, sees that I'm crying, but decides to wait to see if I'm going to pose for them.

Really? Can you have some courtesy? Ca you give me some space, please??

Has anything similar happen to you? Where someone asks for a picture when you're obviously not in the situation to have a picture taken?
sooo rude asking for a picture like that!

as a female cosplayer that has cried in public before, I would have asked if you needed a hug or some candy/told the photogs to buzz off.
__________________
------------------------------
Anime Vegas Cosplay Chess Event Coordinator

Animegacon 2014
Otakon Vegas 2015

Duo Maxwell
Kenshin Himura
Pinkie Pie

Next Cosplay: Louise Belcher!
Asa Gohan is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 09-27-2012, 09:41 AM   #30
defectedmodel
Android
 
defectedmodel's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 241
Quote:
Originally Posted by Starlit Rose View Post
I have to say, it's kind of funny how most people in this thread say they end up posing for the photos, despite how inappropriate the timing of the request. I'm guilty of it myself, so I can't talk, but it's just kind of funny.
I guess we're just too nice? XD
__________________
Anime North 2013:
Nana Osaki - Friday
Alisa Bosconovich - Saturday
Biker Sailor Saturn - Saturday night

Facebook Page :3
defectedmodel is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Rate This Thread
Rate This Thread:

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 10:28 AM.


Copyright 2002-2013 Cosplay.com, LLC. All Rights Reserved.
All comments and posts in our forums are the opinion of the respective poster.