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Unread 10-22-2012, 08:59 AM   #1
Animegirl13
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How to compliment a crossplayer

Okay, so I know the objective of a crossplayer IS to look like the opposite gender when they're cosplaying, but how would you go about telling them that they've successfully achieved that?

For example, quite a few of my cosplaying friends also crossplay (they're girls), but if I thought that they managed to do a really good job what would I say to them? I'm unsure of saying to them that they really do like a boy, because I don't know if they'd take that they wrong way. I mean, I know that that's what they're trying to look like, but would they take offense if I said that? Or would they take it as a compliment?

Just looking for first-hand advice or personal experience, from a crossplayer themselves!
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Unread 10-22-2012, 09:13 AM   #2
Libis
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Well, first off, I wouldn't complement this part of the costume unless it is someone you know personally and thus know the sex of. Anyone else and it should just be "you make such a perfect Grell," or "your makeup is perfect!."

Actually, "your makeup is perfect," would probably also work for those you do know the sex of. You might add that they did a wonderful job on the illusion of the sex they are going for with padding/binding etc. (Just don't say "you really do look like a man/woman." lol. That might get taken as that they have a manly/womanly face...) Seriously, though, this should probably be only said to people you know decently well or who ask you flat out.
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Unread 10-28-2012, 03:37 AM   #3
EmoxJerk
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I pretty much just compliment like, "that is a great costume!" or "you make such a great - insert character name here - "

Sometimes crossplayers get offended if you refer to them as the opposite gender, because maybe they weren't really looking to pass, but to just cosplay that character.
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Unread 10-28-2012, 06:29 PM   #4
KuruttaKanashii
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Well, my mom used "you pull off the androgynous look very well". But she knows me.
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Unread 10-28-2012, 07:45 PM   #5
TenTigerLilies
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I will generally just tell them I like their costume, and that they make a good -whatever character.-

Once, there was a female cosplaying Finn from Adventure Time, and when I referred to her as a he -- because I thought she was a he -- she freaked out and starting telling me how rude that was.

Though, frankly it irks me that people are like that. I'm a crossplayer myself. In some of my costumes, I legitimately look like a male. And then, in others, I look like a female in a male costume. And in either of those situations, if I'm referred to as a he, I really couldn't give a damn. It's not an insult; I would think that, if anything, it's a compliment. You did a good job. It's not like you're forced to cosplay someone; you're knowingly dressing up as someone of the opposite gender, so you don't need to get your panties in a wad if you're a girl and someone refers to you as if you're a boy, or vice versa.
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Unread 10-29-2012, 12:07 PM   #6
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Focus on the costume itself, and follow the cosplayer's lead regarding pronouns. Everybody's got their own reasons and preferences.
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Unread 10-29-2012, 06:50 PM   #7
KuruttaKanashii
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It gets especially confusing if a trans person is cisplaying...
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Unread 10-30-2012, 12:43 PM   #8
Jabberwack
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I normally just run up to the person screaming OHMYGOSH YOU ARE SO AMAZING YOU PULL OFF THE CHARACTER SO WELL ILOVEYOU. or something like that.
if you converse for the person for long enough you can say "I love the way you bound your chest" ((if you say this, I would be careful and know if they bound their chest in the first place, many people say something like that to me, and i'm just a flatchested teenager that doesnt have to bind)) or "I love your wig" something like that.
you dont really have to bring up that they're crossplaying, if you say you like their costume that's almost taken.
also, sometime you dont actually know if the person is a guy or a girl and damn is that embarrassing.
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Unread 11-02-2012, 04:20 AM   #9
Neelh
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jabberwack View Post
I normally just run up to the person screaming OHMYGOSH YOU ARE SO AMAZING YOU PULL OFF THE CHARACTER SO WELL ILOVEYOU. or something like that.
I personally wouldn't run up t them. Manners~!
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Unread 11-02-2012, 08:22 AM   #10
Ithlia
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jabberwack View Post
I normally just run up to the person screaming OHMYGOSH YOU ARE SO AMAZING YOU PULL OFF THE CHARACTER SO WELL ILOVEYOU. or something like that.
if you converse for the person for long enough you can say "I love the way you bound your chest" ((if you say this, I would be careful and know if they bound their chest in the first place, many people say something like that to me, and i'm just a flatchested teenager that doesnt have to bind)) or "I love your wig" something like that.
you dont really have to bring up that they're crossplaying, if you say you like their costume that's almost taken.
also, sometime you dont actually know if the person is a guy or a girl and damn is that embarrassing.


I agree with the binding thing. I have almost no chest, and I cosplayed as Jin from Yu Yu Hakusho. I only had to cross the top a certain way to cover myself (though as a side note I'm now going to make a nylon top because the fabric doesn't like glue or tape...so it fell off in the heat of Otakon!). A girl looked and was like, "wow...you did a really good job binding!" I'm insecure about my chest as is, but I didn't get offended at first because it was an honest assumption. So I told her that I don't have to bind, then she was like, "Oh...well when I hit puberty I had to start binding." Seriously? I'm 20 years old (well almost 20 during Otakon) and I don't think that I look like I'm under the age of puberty. So with this comment I got offended and actually felt kind of insecure about my chest size (which I do enough as-is, but I try to not let it get in the way of cosplaying).


However, if I'm crossplaying (which I'm trying not to do as often anymore) and someone mistakes me as a male...I'll just politely correct them, but not take offense. I mean...I AM dressing like a man after all, so I'm expecting that someone may mistake my gender.



Whenever you compliment a crossplayer, just compliment the cosplay itself, make-up, etc... If they seem really nice and you can tell the real gender of the person, then politely say, "wow...your make-up and the way your cosplay is designed makes you really look like the character!" but if they take offense, just apologize. Sometimes it is hard to tell if someone is aiming to look like the opposite gender or if they are just cosplaying as the character without trying to really pull off the opposite gender.
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Last edited by Ithlia : 11-02-2012 at 08:28 AM.
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Unread 11-16-2012, 12:55 AM   #11
NatsukoHirose
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If I saw a crossplay, I would show my recommends by saying you look great! Actually I never crossplay, as I used to hate that. But now I think it's ok for me. All I think about crossplaying is that everyone cosplay for fun so we just need to show our appreciation by speaking out directly.
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Unread 11-18-2012, 05:54 PM   #12
Neko-hime
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I would say something like, "You make a great ___!" or "You look just like ___!" (but not if it's an obviously unattractive character; tread carefully...), "Your cosplay is gorgeous!" "ASJNDSFHDB ___ I LOVE YOU SO MUCH" etc. (Or just squeal. I cosplayed Ikuto from Shugo Chara and had a veritable fangirl army, and most of them just squealed.)
Complimenting a person's costume (Details, quality, accuracy, etc) or makeup would also be flattering.

I would avoid telling someone they did a good job binding... As with Ithlia's example, that could just end up being horribly awkward. It's also sort of like complimenting someone's underwear, IMO. Like "my my, madam, that brassiere is mighty flattering on you." (I could just be oversensitive, since I'm super insecure in this area but yeah. xD Generally complimenting boob-related things is weird if you don't know them very very well.)

I, personally, would take it as a huge compliment if someone thought I was a guy when I was crossplaying, since that is what I'm going for. It just means your cosplay is THAT accurate. Like... the gender of the cosplayer doesn't get in the way of the character. Or something. I dunno xD But I can see how someone could be rubbed the wrong way by that; I wouldn't like being told I have a manly face.

Overall, tread lightly in issues related to crossplay, specifically, and stick to things about the cosplay itself. IMHO. If you're talking to a good friend, the first one is less sticky.

OOPS I WROTE AN ESSAY SORRY xD
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Unread 11-19-2012, 03:48 AM   #13
SirenaBlack
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If someone thought I was a guy when crossplaying I would be tickled pink, but I don't think that's the norm XD
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Unread 12-18-2012, 06:22 AM   #14
Alice MacLeod
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Well if someone said to me you look like a girl I would take it as a huge compliment as a MtF transgender that is the primary goal. It is a difficult road I and many others like me face but cosplay makes it that much easier for us and if anyone complimented me in that way its like a huge confidence boost which is badly needed in a world of hate
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Unread 12-27-2012, 06:26 PM   #15
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I'm with Alice. If I'm crossplaying and you use a male pronoun, I might be surprised, but I will pretty much glow for the rest of the day.

More on topic, I wouldn't appreciate it if someone complimented my binding or told me they like my mustache. Just say that you love the costume or that the person makes a great -whatever- and not mention that someone is crossplaying unless they bring it up.
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