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[Ilafatyu]

When asked this question, I find it endlessly amusing, and at the same time comforting. I (try to) follow the androgynous aesthetic in daily life, so any time the gender question isn't answered as male or female, even in-costume, it means I'm doing a good job.

That said, I'm laughably short and have a wicked high girly voice, so I'm not sure how it isn't instantly obvious. xD

[Akune-chan]

Originally Posted by Blood_Sword

God knows how many times I've got the "Are you a boy or a girl?" question both in cosplay and out of it..

Now first of I'm transgender male, pre-everything. I must say that whenever I get asked that question I feel very mixed emotions. Firstly it means I did a decent job presenting male because they can't tell my biological gender straight away -but- at the same time I feel very awkward and more often than not, hurt, because that question also means that I didn't completely pass either because they are still questioning. It's very hard to describe exactly what I mean... there's so much going on in my head whenever that question pops up and I almost never know what answer to give when asked either. I just stand there awkwardly and if I happen to have my cosplay friends around me occasionally they might chime in and tell the asker I am in fact a he/him/male/whatever or, although rarer, transgendered. Yes, I am very open about it at at cons, like if someone were to ask me if I'm transgendered I'd answer "yes I am". It's not something I am ashamed of, it's who I am. But for some reason I just have a dang hard time to tell it when asked that "are you a boy or a girl?" question because that question is so.. unforgiving and blunt... it gives me no leeway; just black and white without gray. It makes me confused are they in fact asking for my assigned at birth gender (which I hate to associate myself with) or the gender I identify with? And seriously, why does it even matter so much what I am in the end? I'm human just like you and everyone else, let me do my cosplaying and have fun without infecting my mind with such troublesome and secondary things like gender.

Also, some years ago I used to think cosplaying male characters was crossplay to me because I am not biologically male... but.. because I identify as male I no more view it as crossplay, I am cosplaying my gender at heart. It's just cosplay. Actually I get a bit offended when told that I crossplay.. because that means they assume I'm female which I'm not...

Sorry for the long post and if I make no sense.

You are a gorgeous individual.

Now I shall flee from being Mr. Awkward.

[Blood_Sword]

Originally Posted by Akune-chan

You are a gorgeous individual.

Now I shall flee from being Mr. Awkward.

Not sure if you mean my text or something else.. XD
But thanks! <3

[Rukeya]

I love being mistaken as the wrong gender and often do in cosplay. I normally get asked my gender only after I've spoken--then it becomes more obvious.

Next year I'll be doing my first attempt at crossplay without full makeup coverage - we'll see how that goes. :x

[Akune-chan]

Originally Posted by Blood_Sword

Not sure if you mean my text or something else.. XD
But thanks! <3

I meant both ways. Haha.

[Alice MacLeod]

Ah that explains it blood sword,. you are a transgender too. I never had the guts to try a Lolita before but a few weeks ago I said why not its time i tried it and yesterday my first Lolita outfit came in and the result is this picture. I am not a pro at this stuff and am bound to make mistakes as I go along but that is the whole point, the learning process.

[itsuxmasa]

I look really girly outside of crossplay and I kinda don't like it, not because I want to look like a guy all the time (tho that wouldn't be that bad either) but always looking girly is a hassle and and inconvenience for me. But when I'm in crossplay people act kinda funny before asking me my gender like they try to tell from my voice or how I do things and I guess it doesn't give them the answer so they ask me. I don't think it's offensive in crossplay because you're doing it to portray the other gender so it's kind of a given for someone to ask you outside or crossplay shouldn't matter because how is someone's confusion or curiosity of your gender going to affect you in the long run? It doesn't. However, I do find it rather annoying if I'm trying to hold a normal conversation with someone and they are too distracted by guessing my gender.

[koreanjuliette]

Originally Posted by Blood_Sword

God knows how many times I've got the "Are you a boy or a girl?" question both in cosplay and out of it..

Now first of I'm transgender male, pre-everything. I must say that whenever I get asked that question I feel very mixed emotions. Firstly it means I did a decent job presenting male because they can't tell my biological gender straight away -but- at the same time I feel very awkward and more often than not, hurt, because that question also means that I didn't completely pass either because they are still questioning. It's very hard to describe exactly what I mean... there's so much going on in my head whenever that question pops up and I almost never know what answer to give when asked either. I just stand there awkwardly and if I happen to have my cosplay friends around me occasionally they might chime in and tell the asker I am in fact a he/him/male/whatever or, although rarer, transgendered. Yes, I am very open about it at at cons, like if someone were to ask me if I'm transgendered I'd answer "yes I am". It's not something I am ashamed of, it's who I am. But for some reason I just have a dang hard time to tell it when asked that "are you a boy or a girl?" question because that question is so.. unforgiving and blunt... it gives me no leeway; just black and white without gray. It makes me confused are they in fact asking for my assigned at birth gender (which I hate to associate myself with) or the gender I identify with? And seriously, why does it even matter so much what I am in the end? I'm human just like you and everyone else, let me do my cosplaying and have fun without infecting my mind with such troublesome and secondary things like gender.

Also, some years ago I used to think cosplaying male characters was crossplay to me because I am not biologically male... but.. because I identify as male I no more view it as crossplay, I am cosplaying my gender at heart. It's just cosplay. Actually I get a bit offended when told that I crossplay.. because that means they assume I'm female which I'm not...

Sorry for the long post and if I make no sense.

I'm going to be a creep and tell you that i think i've stalked your deviant art a little while ago and was like, dying from how amazing your cosplays were. Gender shouldn't matter for anything, because you're a wonderful cosplayer. <3


There was only one time when a person asked me whether or not I was a boy or a girl, and that was at a con when I was cosplaying as Heisuke Toudou from Hakuoki in his western uniform. I was a little disappointed because I'd spent hours on watching cosplay makeup tutorial videos from zWinnieYap (by the way, her videos are amazing, LOL), bounded my chest as much as I could, and tried to make sure that I looked and acted like a boy as much as possible. But once I opened my mouth to reply to his question, he already figured out that I was a girl. ;;''

I have a feminine face and although it's nice outside of crossplay, it's a little frustrating when you're trying your hardest to portray a male character!

[Alice MacLeod]

I have the opposite problem. it can be quite frustrating trying to be what I know is right but my body says otherwise and the move from the lower arctic to a more habitable environment played havoc on my body too. I gained 40lbs in a month!! In the arctic its normal to consume 5000 calories a day to survive now I am needing less then 2000 and ballooned!! Yeesh.

[Ani_BEE]

I'm a pretty convince shonen in photo's that people have to ask when I do character that are 14 to 17, a characters older then that I look alike pretty boy. lol My face is pretty round.

In person people know I'm a girl because of my voice pretty quickly in costume.


This one I had as my avatar on her for a while was refereed to as "him" in forum responses. Too which I smiled as it means I did a good job.
http://www.cosplay.com/costume/402637/

This one friends didn't recognize me in it even with the normal glasses. lol
http://www.cosplay.com/costume/426374/


I didn't do much with my crossplays as I have a natural large frame so broader shoulder, a baggy shirt or uniform hide my hip and a compression shirt is all I need.

[Blood_Sword]

Originally Posted by koreanjuliette

I'm going to be a creep and tell you that i think i've stalked your deviant art a little while ago and was like, dying from how amazing your cosplays were. Gender shouldn't matter for anything, because you're a wonderful cosplayer. <3

Really? Fdjhfds;ahjdhgs thank you! <3
And I agree!

You should upload photos of your Heisuke cosplay to coscom by the way, I'd love to see it!

[wolfspeaker]

I must say Blood_Sword I am amazed to hear you are pre everything as I have been following you for a long time as well from when I first found your amazing ukitake cosplay and the difference in you is startling now I look at you in pics and all I see is a guy


ahem anyway XD

But heres this thing I very recently went to a con met a wonderful person we exchange facebook details and when I got back I was surprised to discover that they were trans to male.
Now I was left instantly feeling guilty as I had assumed they were female and probably spent the whole weekend refering to them using the wrong pro-nouns and I feel rotten over it.
I have never asked the question about someones gender before because I would hate to offend anyone with it but now I am worried that by not asking I am offending people more by assuming they are a certain gender and essentially labeling them as such ><

Should I just be allowing people to correct me if I assume wrong or should I start asking in as polite a way as possible?

[MetalArtisan]

I'm a guy with long hair and a nigh-religious devotion to shaving, so I occasionally get mistaken for the opposite sex. This is usually met with embarrassment on the part of the other party when I start talking, as my voice is not even remotely androgynous.

[Alice MacLeod]

voice is prolly the most difficult thing to deal with. If for instance I went to a con in my new Lolita outfit and managed somehow to pull off my true female form, as is the whole plan, and someone talked to me I am not really good at the voice thing and it may chase people off. Now for me being an asexual as well it isn't about gender. It's about how I feel inside and how I know I was meant to be. People see me dressed like this and often say I do it for a sissy fetich but in reality I cannot do anything for a fetish when I have no such capability. I do it because I like to do it. I grew up like this for the first 12 years of my life too. I go to cons now because it allows me to be me without an attack from society. The voice however is a huge problem. I try my best not to talk when I am out because I fear retaliation from the public. I have seen it happen before. At least at a convention I have little to fear and often end up with other females tht respect me for who I am. It feels weird sometimes lol

[Blood_Sword]

Originally Posted by wolfspeaker

I must say Blood_Sword I am amazed to hear you are pre everything as I have been following you for a long time as well from when I first found your amazing ukitake cosplay and the difference in you is startling now I look at you in pics and all I see is a guy


ahem anyway XD

But heres this thing I very recently went to a con met a wonderful person we exchange facebook details and when I got back I was surprised to discover that they were trans to male.
Now I was left instantly feeling guilty as I had assumed they were female and probably spent the whole weekend refering to them using the wrong pro-nouns and I feel rotten over it.
I have never asked the question about someones gender before because I would hate to offend anyone with it but now I am worried that by not asking I am offending people more by assuming they are a certain gender and essentially labeling them as such ><

Should I just be allowing people to correct me if I assume wrong or should I start asking in as polite a way as possible?

Thank you! <3

Hmm.. you should apologize to him (if you haven't already) and keep in mind that when you meet someone and you want to be on the safe side (especially if you get the feeling they might be trans) it's always better to just be polite and ask them like what pronouns they prefer or so. I feel that's a better way of putting it than just asking "are you a boy or girl?"