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Unread 12-30-2012, 04:09 AM   #1
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A normal question

Hi, I know this has surely been asked, likely a couple dozen times at least. However, I couldn't find a clear answer, especially related to my case, so I joined specifically to ask this question: I want to go cosplaying with my wife, but as both female characters.
However, I'm ONLY going to be doing this if I can pull off a good cosplay, but most importantly, being COMPLETELY convincing that I'm a girl. And I'm pretty confident I could pull it off, because of my build, and that I had to teach my WIFE elegance of how to walk and talk, as she was pretty much raised by rednecks.

I'm only going to do the cosplay if I am completely convincing as a woman,
and I have several personal reasons for doing so.

My wife and I would be going as friends, and I already have most of it planned out.
But what I'm shaky on, like I said, is I'm first making sure it's completely convincing,
where while even if a couple have SUSPICION, I completely pass for a girl, period.

So my question is, since I am going to be COMPLETELY convincing as a girl, and I have to, to pull off the Cosplay, I'm probably going as Aeris or Tifa, I have the normal bathroom question, which I can't seem to find an answer for when someone is completely perceived as a woman.
The plan is for us to go to the bathroom together so it looks less suspicious as well, and I don't want to ruin anything by having to use the MEN'S ROOM if nature calls.

The plan is pretty much fool-proof, and my name can be used for male or female, so it's not like there can be a slip of the tongue to give me away.

I'm basically asking how often would you say this is done, and is it actually illegal (not simply "can I be thrown out if I'm caught")? I think it wouldn't be a big deal, especially in today's society, considering the reason men and women originally had separate bathrooms was due to sexual privacy, which is overstepped today by the acceptance of homosexuality anyhow.
(And to clarify, that's not intended to be offensive in any way, just using logic).

I basically don't really care if I get thrown out, I just don't want and criminal offenses to hit me if for some reason SHTF, lol.

Thoughts and info on this question, that I'm sure has been asked before in different means?
Thanks! (And yes I searched, to no avail. Please don't say "you didn't look hard enough")
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Unread 12-30-2012, 11:57 AM   #2
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Originally Posted by PhantomWolf View Post
I'm basically asking how often would you say this is done, and is it actually illegal (not simply "can I be thrown out if I'm caught")? I think it wouldn't be a big deal...
I would hope never, but this isn't uptopia-land where people follow basic rules. I can only speak for California because I live here, but as someone who works in law enforcement, use the bathroom that compliments the gender listed on your DL. I'm not getting into the so-called grey areas, but a basic man/women scenario.

However, I cannot completely speak for Louisiana, as that is where your profile states you are from. I can only speak for the state I work in. To answer your question about it actively being illegal, without getting into specifics, California does not hold a specific law that pertains to a law prohibiting persons of an opposite gender from walking into a public restroom and using it, but there are laws that prevent "loitering", which can always be construed in various contexts.

Also, just because the state might not have one, you still have to check with the city for any city-regulated ordinances. In the end, use the men's restroom and bit the bullet. It's not a big deal.

Originally Posted by PhantomWolf View Post
I basically don't really care if I get thrown out, I just don't want and criminal offenses to hit me if for some reason SHTF, lol.
It's entirely plausible, so don't do it. Use common sense.

Last edited by Eau de Decus : 12-30-2012 at 12:00 PM.
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Unread 12-31-2012, 10:38 AM   #3
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If you're passing so well it shouldn't matter because who would know you're using the "wrong" room. Though it really shouldn't be a problem to use either, people expect to see crossplay at cons
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Unread 12-31-2012, 12:26 PM   #4
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I tend to scout out any handicap or unisex washroom, but failing that, uses the washroom of your actual gender
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Unread 12-31-2012, 12:43 PM   #5
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Giving a female's POV: I spoke to a few of my female cosplay buddies and the unanimous vote was that we would be quite uncomfortable knowing that there could be a man in the women's restroom. Honestly, the thought that you look so convincing that no one would know is even worse to consider. So from a non-legal position, please consider the feelings of the women that would be using the restroom.

Legally speaking, this issue has come up several times on the forums, and unfortunately it is often seen as "not a big deal" to use the opposite gender's restroom when it can have severe legal consequences. Most of the laws in place protect only transgender people, and only then with proper medical/legal paperwork on their person.

One other legal issue that wasn't broached: you should research the laws in your city and state, especially sex offender laws. Where I live it doesn't take much to end up arrested with a sex offender tag, and using the opposite gender's restroom can be enough for that to happen.
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Unread 12-31-2012, 04:03 PM   #6
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Speaking purely from my own experience and the experiences of friends and only from our experiences at cons, bathrooms are bathrooms are bathrooms. I've seen crossplayers use both the bathrooms of their birth sex and the bathrooms of the sex they're presenting as. People tend to loosen up about the people in the bathroom at cons because it's kind of expected that what you see may not be what you get.

And honestly, it's a bathroom. If you're staring at people in the bathroom, especially at a con, you need to find something else to do with yourself.
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Unread 12-31-2012, 05:46 PM   #7
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As somebody who passes well enough that using the men's restroom would be far less dramatic than walking into the women's restroom (I have been screamed at, had con security called on me, etc. I also don't blame these women for doing it, but I also wouldn't feel safe walking into the men's restroom for the same reason they don't feel safe having men in theirs), don't do it. I'm not sure that the cheap thrills you get thinking that you are fooling people are worth throwing common decency out the window.

If you saw a woman walk into the men's bathroom, would you feel threatened? Probably not.

If women see a man walk into the women's bathroom, they DO feel threatened.

So you're saying that you don't care if people might feel threatened or not, you want your jollies regardless (unless you can get arrested)?

Meanwhile you also might look up the legality of self-defense in a situation in which women feel threatened by a creeper. See if it's more legal to knowingly use the wrong restroom with intent to deceive or more legal to act in self-defense.

Unless you have the hardware or are running the software*, stay out.

(*I have no problem with transwomen using the women's restroom.)
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