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Unread 02-15-2013, 12:44 AM   #31
SecretCosplayer
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I get really shy and don't know what to say to people. Like I want to say things, but I mentally convince myself not to say anything! Wah! I want more cosplayer friends than my group of friends right now. What should I do....?
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Unread 02-22-2013, 05:09 PM   #32
Vanilla_Rose16
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I'm looking to make more cosplaying friends as well. I mean my group of friends are great and I love them to death (all anime lovers as well) but aren't into cosplay as much as I am. At Anime Boston this year I plan on trying to talk to more people and attending the photoshoot for the anime I am cosplaying from in hopes of making some friends. I can already tell what thoughts will run through my head though...
"Oh my gosh what do I do how do I do this what if they don't like me or want to talk to me?"
I would really like to avoid getting those thoughts :S It seems to happen often. -somewhat insecure person-
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Unread 02-22-2013, 05:30 PM   #33
ImNewHere
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Forum meetups work. If your favorite con has a forum that is. I feel like I never make con friends, but for some reason I have a bunch of con friends anyway. Most were through various forums.
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Unread 02-22-2013, 06:19 PM   #34
Lithium Flower
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I bring a pair of handcuffs and just swallow the key.

"Looks like we're best friends for the next 4-8 hours".
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Unread 02-22-2013, 06:26 PM   #35
sam vimes
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lithium Flower View Post
I bring a pair of handcuffs and just swallow the key.

"Looks like we're best friends for the next 4-8 hours".
It worked for us.
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Unread 02-22-2013, 08:00 PM   #36
Julesie
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Look approachable.

At MCM there was a big hetalia meet. This girl came over to me with her sister and told me that a lot of other people had ignored her because she wasn't cosplaying Hetalia. She saw me sitting and started to talk to me. I happily started talking to her back and we sat for a good two hours chatting. She explained that I seemed really nice and friendly whenever someone came to me but also shy which was why she wasn't scared to approach.

I actually have anxiety in real life when it comes to people but at conventions I'm always happy to talk to people who are alone as I know how it feels. So I definitely recommend just looking approachable and being nice.
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Unread 02-22-2013, 08:16 PM   #37
Lithium Flower
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sam vimes View Post
It worked for us.
Remember kids. There are no strangers, just very strange people.
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Unread 02-22-2013, 08:44 PM   #38
Naudae
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So, I'm a fairly new cosplayer...kinda sorta.
I'm also painfully quiet and always worried what others are seeing when they see me trying to cosplay. I also fear the opinions of others...as they see me trying to cosplay. Yay circular arguments. This, tacked on with my natural shyness, basically keeps me from really talking to people and even asking for photos of cosplayers I find to be really good at what they're cosplaying.

How can I possibly get over this and, you know, act normal?
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Unread 02-22-2013, 09:17 PM   #39
Akahime
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In all seriousness, just be yourself and be nice. :3 Don't be afraid what others will think or say, because there will be those that will so just do what you do best and ignore whoever is negative towards you! Rock people's world and show them you! Even if the you is awkward, it's still all right because people are more understanding than you think! :3 If you have to, push yourself a little bit, but never too much to get out of your comfort zone. Take the baby steps! It took me two years of baby steps of slowly talking to people and finally just being myself when meeting new folks. Sometimes it takes a while, but worth it. Sometimes for some people, they'll click with others so fast that it will make you green with envy, but that's okay! That's them! The fact is that you'll make great friends in no time. Because when you make a great friend or meet a person that you know will be awesome, you'll know.
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Last edited by Akahime : 02-22-2013 at 09:19 PM.
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Unread 02-23-2013, 07:22 AM   #40
Naudae
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Akahime View Post
In all seriousness, just be yourself and be nice. :3 Don't be afraid what others will think or say, because there will be those that will so just do what you do best and ignore whoever is negative towards you! Rock people's world and show them you! Even if the you is awkward, it's still all right because people are more understanding than you think! :3 If you have to, push yourself a little bit, but never too much to get out of your comfort zone. Take the baby steps! It took me two years of baby steps of slowly talking to people and finally just being myself when meeting new folks. Sometimes it takes a while, but worth it. Sometimes for some people, they'll click with others so fast that it will make you green with envy, but that's okay! That's them! The fact is that you'll make great friends in no time. Because when you make a great friend or meet a person that you know will be awesome, you'll know.
It's just...I see groups of people cosplaying and I honestly want to go over and if nothing else simply say "Hi" and maybe ask what they're talking about and if they wouldn't mind having me a part of their conversation. But...I get really intimidated pretty easily...more than I originally thought possible. I then start thinking that they'll give me an odd look almost to say "Get away from us, you ugly little (insert random curse word/slur/insult here)", then I just abandon the idea and move farther away, even if it's a group I merely want a pic of...even if it's a group I'm cosplaying from...
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Unread 02-23-2013, 12:29 PM   #41
AnimeLuxray25
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Oh wow, a lot of things people are saying here are really helpful, since I don't have any friends (outside of the internet).
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Unread 02-23-2013, 12:49 PM   #42
sylgard
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AnimeLuxray25 View Post
Oh wow, a lot of things people are saying here are really helpful, since I don't have any friends (outside of the internet).
tell me about it, ive got friends but i hardly see them out of school, also all my friends that like anime are girls and im the only guy in the group (kinda blows that theyre not really interested in cosplay)
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Unread 02-23-2013, 01:39 PM   #43
Bm-Atticus
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I think the biggest thing to remember is that, while it is good to make yourself approachable and go to gatherings, if you just stand there, waiting for someone to come up to you and start a conversation, that's usually not going to happen.

You're not the only shy or socially awkward person. I know it feels like it because you see others chatting with their friends or people they just met. But it could be that they took that chance to to get out of their comfort zone.

People are not obligated to approach you. Within my cosplay group, I've heard people bitterly complain that they were being ignored or no one came to talk to them. I ask if they tried to go approach someone and the usual response is that they were shy and didn't want to look stupid.

I know it's hard. It can be scary and all you can think about is if they're judging you. Socializing doesn't come naturally to everyone. It takes practice. Trial and error. You're not going to get any better at it just standing there and continuing to second guess yourself. You can do it! Take the plunge with the knowledge that possible future friends are right in front of you!

If you're at a gathering and want to talk to someone, go up and compliment their costume! That's a great way to get a conversation started! Maybe ask about the series they're cosplaying from and see if you can find any similarities in likes and dislikes! People are drawn to each other through shared interests, and conventions make it that much easier. You already know the person you're talking to is into anime, the more common ground you find, the easier the conversation will be.

Take this from someone who frequently attends conventions alone. I go in on Friday all by my lonesome, and by Sunday I have a whole group I'm getting into shenanigans with. I'm not always a hundred percent successful. I've rubbed people the wrong way or my personality didn't mesh with theirs, but that was only a drop in the bucket compared to the amount of convention friends I have. And certainly far more then if I stand around doing my best impression of a wallflower!

But on that note, if approaching someone is something you absolutely can't bring yourself to do and you are attending any Southern California conventions and would like to know at least one friendly face, hit me up! I love meeting new people and introducing them to my friends!
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Unread 02-24-2013, 03:43 PM   #44
Tealeafy
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If you're on the shy side (and you're cosplaying) I highly recommend making small talk with people if they ask for your photo. Once they're done snapping the shot you can thank them, ask them how their con has been so far, admire their costume if they happen to be wearing one, and so on. A little bit of friendly small talk is always nice. ^^
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Unread 02-24-2013, 04:18 PM   #45
Rhapsados
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The closest con friend I've ever made was waiting in line. First I took a picture, asked them how they made their cosplay, and they were friendly and asked me back, and it mostly took off from there!

I'm pretty shy though, and that was mostly a one-time thing. Usually I make con friends by sitting down at tables and then telling them their cosplay is good, or asking where they got so-and-so, etc. Or sometimes you make small talk with someone and bump into them later - it happens more than you'd think. I bumped into the same people at Fan Expo (which was jam packed in 2012) almost 4 times in the same day.

Meet-ups, of course. Meet-ups are usually full of people who already know each other, but if you just sit down at a random spot and say hello to people, ask them about the fandom or character, etc, conversation can take off pretty quickly! I tend to stay away from the cliques (there are a LOT of them in the Toronto area)... look for people who are also looking a bit lonely, or shy! Stand next to them or compliment them and try and make conversation. There are lots of other people with the same worries as you about making friends.

Take photos of people, ask and answer questions, and just leave yourself open to making friends. It gets easier as you go to more cons, though.
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Last edited by Rhapsados : 02-24-2013 at 04:21 PM.
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