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Unread 02-24-2013, 04:56 PM   #46
Naudae
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Originally Posted by Rhapsados View Post
The closest con friend I've ever made was waiting in line. First I took a picture, asked them how they made their cosplay, and they were friendly and asked me back, and it mostly took off from there!

I'm pretty shy though, and that was mostly a one-time thing. Usually I make con friends by sitting down at tables and then telling them their cosplay is good, or asking where they got so-and-so, etc. Or sometimes you make small talk with someone and bump into them later - it happens more than you'd think. I bumped into the same people at Fan Expo (which was jam packed in 2012) almost 4 times in the same day.

Meet-ups, of course. Meet-ups are usually full of people who already know each other, but if you just sit down at a random spot and say hello to people, ask them about the fandom or character, etc, conversation can take off pretty quickly! I tend to stay away from the cliques (there are a LOT of them in the Toronto area)... look for people who are also looking a bit lonely, or shy! Stand next to them or compliment them and try and make conversation. There are lots of other people with the same worries as you about making friends.

Take photos of people, ask and answer questions, and just leave yourself open to making friends. It gets easier as you go to more cons, though.
But...what if you're literally shaking(visibly) out of fear of being seen as one of "those people" that come up and try to start a conversation and you wind up being seen as weird? This is what I'm most afraid of at cons. I'm a cosplayer, yes. And I even approach folks cosplaying from the same series. But how can I get over this crippling fear? It's literally the only thing stopping me...
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Unread 02-24-2013, 05:27 PM   #47
Bm-Atticus
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Originally Posted by Naudae View Post
But...what if you're literally shaking(visibly) out of fear of being seen as one of "those people" that come up and try to start a conversation and you wind up being seen as weird? This is what I'm most afraid of at cons. I'm a cosplayer, yes. And I even approach folks cosplaying from the same series. But how can I get over this crippling fear? It's literally the only thing stopping me...
1) Focus on your breathing. When you're nervous you tend to take a low of shallow breathes. It'll help calm you down and might even take care of some of the shaking.

2) Don't expect to be a social butterfly right away. Little steps.

3) Face your fear head on. The longer you wait to start a conversation the more you think about it and the more nervous you get.

4) Start with a compliment as an opener.

5) If the conversation seems awkward it might not just be you. The other person might be just as shy as you and is still trying to get better.

Just take deep breaths and do your best not to think too much about it. Just remember you're at an anime convention! Most of the people there are dying to have a conversation about they're favorite shows!

You can do it, I have faith in you
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Unread 02-24-2013, 05:33 PM   #48
Rhapsados
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Originally Posted by Naudae View Post
But...what if you're literally shaking(visibly) out of fear of being seen as one of "those people" that come up and try to start a conversation and you wind up being seen as weird? This is what I'm most afraid of at cons. I'm a cosplayer, yes. And I even approach folks cosplaying from the same series. But how can I get over this crippling fear? It's literally the only thing stopping me...
Reiterating what Bm-Atticus said: it IS a convention, and a lot of people attend conventions to have fun, chat, and make friends. There are a LOT of people who are shy as well. Take a deep breath, try and control your thoughts and feelings, and if it helps, plan what you're going to say! It doesn't have to be something really long, just a comment or a compliment can even start a long conversation. For example, "I love your cosplay of xxx! It really suits you!"
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Unread 02-24-2013, 06:41 PM   #49
Bm-Atticus
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rhapsados View Post
Reiterating what Bm-Atticus said: it IS a convention, and a lot of people attend conventions to have fun, chat, and make friends. There are a LOT of people who are shy as well. Take a deep breath, try and control your thoughts and feelings, and if it helps, plan what you're going to say! It doesn't have to be something really long, just a comment or a compliment can even start a long conversation. For example, "I love your cosplay of xxx! It really suits you!"
Right! And a few other things I forgot to add. I saw your photos and you have a wonderful smile! Use it to your advantage! A nice smile puts everyone at ease and it's easy to hide your nervousness behind.

And here's something that worked for me. Fake it until you make it. Pretend you have all of that confidence you've always wanted to have and while it may feel silly at first, people will be drawn to it and eventually you won't have to fake it at all! And you have the advantage of being in cosplay! It's a lot easier when you are already cosplaying a confident character.
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Unread 02-24-2013, 06:48 PM   #50
Naudae
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bm-Atticus View Post
Right! And a few other things I forgot to add. I saw your photos and you have a wonderful smile! Use it to your advantage! A nice smile puts everyone at ease and it's easy to hide your nervousness behind.

And here's something that worked for me. Fake it until you make it. Pretend you have all of that confidence you've always wanted to have and while it may feel silly at first, people will be drawn to it and eventually you won't have to fake it at all! And you have the advantage of being in cosplay! It's a lot easier when you are already cosplaying a confident character.
?! I have...a wonderful smile? I always thought of it as being ugly...wow. Thank you...It'd be much easier if I actually had friends that would support me like this in real life where I am...
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Unread 02-24-2013, 07:02 PM   #51
Akahime
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Originally Posted by Naudae View Post
It's just...I see groups of people cosplaying and I honestly want to go over and if nothing else simply say "Hi" and maybe ask what they're talking about and if they wouldn't mind having me a part of their conversation. But...I get really intimidated pretty easily...more than I originally thought possible. I then start thinking that they'll give me an odd look almost to say "Get away from us, you ugly little (insert random curse word/slur/insult here)", then I just abandon the idea and move farther away, even if it's a group I merely want a pic of...even if it's a group I'm cosplaying from...
Yep. I get those thoughts/feelings too when I see a group of people. Sometimes having a friend (cosplaying or not) with you helps a little to cure your anxieties a little bit. I personally wouldn't take to a group of people but chances are, they all know each other very well so either way, you'll be feeling (or ARE) the extra wheel/odd one out. Practice with a small group first, with the extra friend/person you know, and practice with small conversations. It doesn't have to be special. :3 Be natural and don't force things, go with the flow and feel the atmosphere. :3

And like Bm-Atticus said, having a smile is always welcoming! Always remember: be nice to others! Be kind and courteous and people will be the same back to you. :3
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Unread 02-24-2013, 07:09 PM   #52
Bm-Atticus
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Naudae View Post
?! I have...a wonderful smile? I always thought of it as being ugly...wow. Thank you...It'd be much easier if I actually had friends that would support me like this in real life where I am...
Not having a support system when it comes to a hobby that you love can be very discouraging. That's why it's very important you take that step to meet some friends at conventions so you can have that support system.

I'm not sure which part of the country you're from, but if you attend California conventions hit me up. I'll make sure you don't spend the con alone.
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Unread 05-14-2013, 09:18 PM   #53
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Originally Posted by pc_alchemist View Post
Photos gatherings are great even if you aren't in cosplay and just want to take picture or see people's costumes

And I can't believe no one has said this, but business cards are great for trading information quickly. Its also a great excuse if you take their picture. "You can find the picture on my blog or you can email me if you want a copy."
i was just thinking about doing business cards incase people wanted to keep in contact with me or if a photographer took my pic i could hand them the card so they could email me the pics they took, tag me on facebook, etc. has anyone else thought about or done this?
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Unread 05-14-2013, 09:58 PM   #54
ChocoboxDreamer
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I am loving this thread! Because I am really shy (though I am getting better) and I don't really talk to people at conventions besides the usual small talk, even between people I already know, since they are usually all busy. I'm going to try to be more talkative at my next convention.
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Unread 05-15-2013, 07:59 AM   #55
Akahime
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Originally Posted by ChocoboxDreamer View Post
I am loving this thread! Because I am really shy (though I am getting better) and I don't really talk to people at conventions besides the usual small talk, even between people I already know, since they are usually all busy. I'm going to try to be more talkative at my next convention.
Yes you should! I should be trying my best too!

Quote:
Originally Posted by psychokaos View Post
i was just thinking about doing business cards incase people wanted to keep in contact with me or if a photographer took my pic i could hand them the card so they could email me the pics they took, tag me on facebook, etc. has anyone else thought about or done this?
I think it's a great idea, I'm going to hopefully do it one day and people have been doing it a lot themselves I hear.
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Unread 05-15-2013, 08:02 AM   #56
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I'm sure it's been said, but if you're waiting in line for something (panel, signing, hell the bathroom) don't be afraid to talk to those around you! It helps past the time plus you know there's a 99% chance their a fan of the same thing you are.
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Unread 05-15-2013, 05:51 PM   #57
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Originally Posted by Bm-Atticus View Post
Right! And a few other things I forgot to add. I saw your photos and you have a wonderful smile! Use it to your advantage! A nice smile puts everyone at ease and it's easy to hide your nervousness behind.
Also, fake smiling creates real happiness. So when you're at a con and feeling down or nervous, just start grinning for no reason and you'll start feeling better! I smile for no reason sometimes and it makes me feel like a million bucks. :'3
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Unread 05-15-2013, 06:28 PM   #58
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Originally Posted by littlemissnerdy View Post
I'm sure it's been said, but if you're waiting in line for something (panel, signing, hell the bathroom) don't be afraid to talk to those around you! It helps past the time plus you know there's a 99% chance their a fan of the same thing you are.
Same goes for convention shuttles!
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Unread 05-15-2013, 06:41 PM   #59
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Unread 05-15-2013, 06:51 PM   #60
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Originally Posted by psychokaos View Post
i was just thinking about doing business cards incase people wanted to keep in contact with me or if a photographer took my pic i could hand them the card so they could email me the pics they took, tag me on facebook, etc. has anyone else thought about or done this?

I think I may actually start doing this too. I always wonder how the photos of me turn out lol I'm afraid that there are so many bad photos of me floating around on the internet that I have not been able to track dow :P. If I do this, I will have to decide if I want to just use my impersonation cards for that or if I should make different cards.

As for making friends, I actually am the kind of person who doesn't like to approach people before they approach me. I worry that I will be bothering them or that they just won't want to talk to me. But I usually never have any problems making friends at conventions, most of my friends come from people who I already know very well and they introduce me to their convention friends. Talking to people while on line or waiting for stuff doesn't really work for me in terms of making friends. Most of the people waiting on line are looking to get somewhere or just get something done so they don't always hang around for conversations after they leave the line. Maybe I just didn't encounter the ideal situations or something else went wrong.
I actually find that it is easier to make friends while sitting around on the convention floor. Usually people who are tired or just wandering will join me and my group of friends as we are just sitting around and resting, and they usually sit around with us for a while and end up following us around the convention. So that is another, less active, way to make friends lol
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