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Unread 04-03-2013, 02:00 AM   #1
~Shana~
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Cosplay bullying and weight problems

I was interviewed by a famous youtuber at a local con recently. When the video came up over 100 comments were targeted about my weight, looks, and height. I don't know how to deal with this. I get more and more comments every minute and I'm honestly feeling sick to my stomach about this whole thing. I've been going to the gym alot but it feels like whatever I've done isn't good enough. How do I deal with this?
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Unread 04-03-2013, 02:11 AM   #2
MeilinII
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If it were me? I'd tell them all to GO FUCK THEMSELVES. You might want to be a little more mature than me though, and just turn the other cheek.
I'd be willing to bet 85%+ of people commenting on your weight haven't cosplayed, and most of them are way less attractive. I can see your photos, and they're nothing but a bunch of jealous bitches that you got an interview and they didn't.
Momma always said "SOME people can't live without carping" and it ain't worth it to let it get under your skin. Maybe tape a video response to the interview telling the haters where to stick it is what I say. You look great.

http://www.cosplay.com/photo/3113042/
Look at that shit. That shit is adorbs. Haters gonna hate.

I've been where you're at. I did a photoshoot with an ex that ended up on a "Wall of Shame" site because it was a personal, private shoot and I didn't bother with makeup or some of my accessories. Got ripped apart by 4channers. It was over within weeks but it sucked while it lasted.
Just remember this too will pass. And if you need to rant, hit me up on PMs.
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Last edited by MeilinII : 04-03-2013 at 02:16 AM.
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Unread 04-03-2013, 02:45 AM   #3
Kelley
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YouTube Comments are like... diarrhea. I for real found a video of an opera singer doing a recital with comments about her "rack".

If you can, maybe ask the person that posted the video to turn the comments off.

The only "good enough" you have to live up to is yourself. You don't have to look exactly like a super-skinny anime character because you're not a 2D drawing - no matter what you do, you'll never be 100% like that character even though it can be fun to try. That's what's important - fun. Do what's fun for you. If you don't want to go to the gym more, don't - as long as there's no medical concern you don't even have to go at all if it's not something you get enjoyment out of.

http://www.cosplay.com/photo/3298589/

I think you look totally adorable. I wouldn't comment just for the sake of it if I didn't mean it. Normally I don't comment on how people look, just the costume, but since you were getting negative comments I figured I might as well help balance it out.

Edit : Also, I remembered that just today my mom found some of the rude comments my younger sibling had made on some web-sites - and it's not like these were hidden from future employers. It could very well come back to them.
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Unread 04-03-2013, 04:20 AM   #4
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They can't fault your costumes, so they attack your looks. It's just how jerks are. Be flattered - you have no say in your appearance, but your costumes are YOUR work, and that's something to be proud of, right?

I get a lot of nasty comments about my face, and I think... it's not me they're insulting, it's my parents! And they don't seem too upset about having an ugly daughter... XD Hahaha, maybe it's not the right attitude, but it means I'm not crying myself to sleep about some idiot's remark to impress their idiot friends. Always find the good in the bad!

Please please please don't publicly react - that's what they want. If they know they can hurt you, they'll keep doing it. Never let your enemies see you bleed.
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Unread 04-03-2013, 05:32 AM   #5
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You look adorable !!

Tons of people tend to always have things to say. Especially if it isn't to someones face. Even cosplayers that seem like they did flawless construction work get bashed on.
Don't look too much into this.

And I know it may be a stretch, but it is very true that most of the people probably aren't cosplayers and are just jealous.. They may also be weeaboo's expected cosplayers to look like they just jumped out of the television screen.
Another possibility is that some of them are just having a bad day.. And feel like they need to bash on others to make themselves look like a big kid. ^^

If you are really feeling so insecure about this, why not try asking for critiques on your cosplays by others at Cosplay.com? Or maybe a professional.. ? That way you are sure to get honest feedback. I honestly see nothing wrong with your cosplay, and again, you are adorable.

I wouldn't hate the people that insult you.. They probably have their own personal issues and are just ignorant.. And most are probably far below your level anyway.. Why waste your life worrying about scum?

Well anyway, I hope I helped you in some way.. I will be cosplaying soon, myself.. So I shall prepare myself for the big world of haters. xD






I shall leave you with this..
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Last edited by Suuki : 04-03-2013 at 05:44 AM.
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Unread 04-03-2013, 07:26 AM   #6
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This might be a bit insensitive, but you just need to grow a spine. You can't make everyone like you. No matter who you are, what you do, who you're with, etc., there will always be someone out there that will find something they don't like about you. Heck, even perfection is cause for hate by some.

How to deal? Focus on those who are supportive of you. Over time, learn that you have many good qualities. Learn to be proud of yourself without being too prideful. Do more and be confident in who you are and what you can do. After you can do this, those tactless comments are nothing more than dirt under your bed: there so you have the choice to address them or ignore them, but not in your way of doing anything else.
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Unread 04-03-2013, 05:30 PM   #7
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Thank you so much for the advice and nice words everyone. I made this topic around when I first found the video and I was honestly freaking out to no end. I'm thinking of asking the youtuber to turn the comments off but the person running the channel has a good 2 million subscribers. I don't know if he would even see my message or do anything at all so that's just not in my power. I really do need to grow a spine but seeing literally hundreds of comments was just too much for me. I've had pictures of me posted on 4chan and that terrified me. It feels like it's happening all over again but even worse.
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Unread 04-03-2013, 05:34 PM   #8
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Don't look too much into it. ^^
They aren't real critiques. Just jealous/weeaboo/scum~
Like I have mentioned, getting actual cosplayers or people who aren't hiding behind a computer screen to critique you, may be a good idea.. It may even help you feel better about your work. (:
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Unread 04-03-2013, 05:38 PM   #9
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I'll try the critiquing! Thank you so much!
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Unread 04-03-2013, 06:07 PM   #10
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Stop reading the hurtful comments. Don't look at them, don't acknowledge them, don't go anywhere near them. Avoid the negativity and instead read all these positive supportive comments over and over and over until you've read more kind things than hurtful ones. It's hard, but you can do it, because you are an amazing human being who deserves love and respect.
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Unread 04-03-2013, 07:21 PM   #11
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It's important to realize that everyone gets terribly negative comments. Even girls who look like models. Everyone thinks that they should be able to have an opinion about faces and bodies they see online. These comments have little to do with how you personally look.
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Unread 04-04-2013, 09:27 PM   #12
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Whatever, fuck 'em. People say shitty things all the time, so don't let them bother you. Go to any video of anybody famous on youtube and there'll be dozens of comments about how so and so sucks. It could be somebody awesome and world famous, talented...doesn't matter.

As for fitness, you're not obligated to look any way or be in any kind of shape that you, yourself, do not want to be whether for health reasons, personal reasons, etc. If you like going to the gym, by all means, do so! It's fun! I'd be in the gym all day if I didn't have to work. But don't think you have to do it to please anybody but yourself.
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Unread 04-06-2013, 01:34 AM   #13
emmisu
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People will look for anything to criticize in a person. The minute you were in a video and they weren't, they flock to the easiest thing to pick at and get other people to pick at as well.

Probably nobody cared about your weight until one person said something, then everyone thought "oh it's acceptable now let me join in" With the fat-shaming culture of the media, that's an easy thing to get people to rally in on, and it's incredibly cruel and a huge problem with our society.
It comes down to human nature and our need to be part of a group. Even if the group is shitty, they want to be a part of something. And for people who are so small in their hearts, the easiest kind of group to join is the group that's "us vs. them"

It's easier to form a club of people who hate something than it is to form a club of people who love something. Remember that, and don't think it actually has anything to do with you.

It's just hive mentality, and a need to feel accepted even at the expense of others. Those people probably have very low self-esteem, or are just very ill-mannered children.

You do you, let them do them. While it certainly isn' fair and it's not what you deserve, unless it comes down to a situation of actual harassment, it's not personal and you should try your best to look at it through that perspective and go on with your fabulous and interesting life.
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Unread 04-06-2013, 11:55 AM   #14
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I'm really sorry that happened to you, honestly I'd just recommend avoiding looking at them. See this Twitter gets the point across well enough: https://twitter.com/AvoidComments

Comments, especially YouTube comments, are generally just full of idiots. It's best to avoid them.

But honestly, as awful as it may be, you've just got to push aside the negative comments and not let it get to you. Some people just like to find something wrong in everything, some people just like being nasty and nobody is ever going to not have SOMEONE who wants to say something nasty about them.

Opposite side of the spectrum I guess but I frequently get negative comments online who say that I'm too skinny and 'disgusting' and that they can't enjoy my cosplays because I 'must be anorexic' and it's 'gross to look at' etc etc. But you know what? I don't let it get to me because other people are ALWAYS going to have something negative to say.
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Unread 04-06-2013, 07:44 PM   #15
gr33kbo1
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f you are concerned about other people's negative thoughts about you, it is a sign that you value their opinions over yours. Once you are confident, what other people think doesn't matter. I've gone through depression and insecurities about my skin, hair, body-type, clothes, living arrangements, and school I attend. Only until I conquered each one was I able to be confident with myself. People can still say hurtful things to me and it may hurt my feelings, but only for a little bit instead of a stinging, lingering thought.

If you are truly willing to get in better shape, here is my advice:
+ Diet is extremely more important than exercise, but getting in shape requires adhering to both.
+ Going to the gym is not for everybody. You can easily hire a personal trainer or torrent a home workout DVD set (P90x is best for strength training, Insanity is best for cardio). Also, a huge misconception is that you need fancy exercises or equipment to get in shape. Simply investing in a jump rope and jumping until you are done is all that is required.
+ Eat 5 smaller meals a day instead of 3 big meals. This makes your metabolism work harder and burn faster, and the result is that after a week or two of doing this, you will get full faste
+ Drink a glass of water with every meal


Also realize that YouTube is a breeding ground for trolls and the assholes of the Internet. What they're able to type and able to say in real life are two different things.

I hope this helped.
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