This is a skit I wrote for a convention. Please give me constructive criticism on it. Thank you ^^
Beginning: Naruto enters from stage right and takes a seat on center stage with a box of tampons in hand.
Naruto: Okay, Sasuke should be here any minute. (pause) Meanwhile, let's see how this works... (opens box of tampons and pulls out a tampon.) Kakashi-sensei said these are for nosebleeds, so... (looks over box.) Ooh, sports protection. (pause) Is ninja-ing a sport? (shrugs.) So you just stick this in your nose, and (moves tampon toward nose.)
(Enter: Sasuke stage left.)
Sasuke: Dobe, what are you doing!? (Walks over to Naruto.) Are those...?
Naruto: (drops tampon) Tampons from Kakashi-sensei! He said to bring them to you when I came to get you.
Sasuke: Get me? I'm not going back, Naruto. (folds arms over chest.) AND TAMPONS ARE FOR WOMEN!
Naruto: I've had my doubts about you ever since you resisted my gaydar-er-Sexy Jutsu. (groans) Ugh, look I get that your clan was killed and all, but anyone can put some clips and a Skillet song in an AMV to make what happened seem like a tragedy. (stands up)
Sasuke: (gapes) MY ENTIRE FAMILY DIED.
Naruto: Yeah, yeah. I'm pretty sure we covered that in like 20 episodes now. (waves hand dismissively.) But, hey, you've still got a brother.
Sasuke: What is wrong with you!? Am I being Punk'd?
Naruto: No, that stuff only happens in filler episodes. Hey, why does everyone act like your clan was so cool just because they have the Sharingan eye jutsu?
Sasuke: It is a unique bloodline trait passed down between members of the Uchiha-
Naruto: (points and laughs) Unique bloodline trait my butt! I saw those contacts on Ebay, too, and in 2 to 6 weeks, I'll have the Sharingan.
Naruto: Oh, and while I was on the internet, I got on YouTube, and- DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY TUTORIALS THERE ARE FOR YOUR HAIR? How do you get the duckbutt thing in the back, anyway?
Sasuke: (turns and touches back of hair) *to self* Duck butt?
Naruto: The people on those tutorials end up with duck diarrhea instead.
Sasuke: Stay off of the internet, you loser!
Naruto: Why!? (steps closer) Afraid I'll read those FanFiction stories about you? Man, you got around more than an old geezer in a wheelchair on crack! I mean, Suigetsu, Kakashi-sensei, Neji, Pedophile snake dude-
Sasuke: NARUTO, I'M GOING TO FREAKING KILL YOU! (runs at Naruto with kunai knife)
Naruto: Oh no you don't! THE LOG! (shoves hands forward as if he has a log)
Sasuke: (shrieks and cowers)
Naruto: (scratches back of head.) You know, being scared of the log makes it sound like you have daddy issues.
Sasuke: Sh-Shut up! You really think I'd go back to the village with you?
Naruto: (ignores) Hey, I also got you a pregnancy test because you've been moody for like the past 4 story arcs.
Sasuke: How could I even get pregnant!? I'm a guy!
Naruto: I dunno, but those fanfictions had some convincing explanations.
Sasuke: I'm not pregnant! *frustrated* Just leave me alone, loser.
Naruto: (goes up to Sasuke and lifts his chin up to look at him.) Look, Teme, I don't love you despite your flaws; I love you because of them. The Leaf village may not be your home anymore...But I am. You don't have to be an avenger. You can be my everything. (kisses deeply for a few seconds before pulling back.)
Sasuke: (buries face in Naruto's neck.) Just shut up, dobe.
Naruto: (Picks Sasuke up bridlestyle and exits stage right.) IT IS JUST LIKE THE FANFICTIONS!