Go Back   Cosplay.com > Off-Topic Chat > General Off-Topic Forum

Reply
Thread Tools Rate Thread
Unread 05-06-2013, 06:35 PM   #16
belligerent
Viking Metal
 
belligerent's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 2,353
So does he actually have any redeeming qualities or...?

If a dude or a lady is trying to be controlling to the point he or she will not let you have hobbies* that do not involve him or her, and you value having those hobbies or like, being able to be your own adult person, that dude or lady is probably not worth the stress. Choosing sucks but IMO if you have to pick one, cosplay is at least a fun master. I would weigh what you're getting in both situations and whichever is the most advantageous, go with that.

Remember that there are always other fish in the sea. Just because you caught a lamprey doesn't mean you have to keep it. You could throw it back and end up with a beautiful bass, you never know.

*Note that there is a point at which hobbies become too much, as well. Like if somebody is playing, um, what games do people play now, Wolfenstein 3D for days at a time and he or she only interacts with his or her SO to demand they make them a sandwich...that's when the hobbyist should reassess their own choices, but I'm going to assume that's not what's going on here.
__________________
Dudes I am sometimes: Sweden, Sweden (mafia version), Metal!Sweden, Austria, Austria (Inappropriate For Children version), Lithuania, Lithuania (mafia version), Poland, Turkey (mafia version), England, Equius, biker!Equius, PT!Stud!Germany, Tony Stark, Netherlands, Reiner Braun, Rei Ryuugazaki, Denmark
Dudes I will be eventually: Genjyo Sanzo, Wolverine, Turkey, Nephrite
belligerent is online now   Reply With Quote
 
Unread 05-06-2013, 06:46 PM   #17
Lithium Flower
Handphones
 
Lithium Flower's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 15,236
Quote:
Originally Posted by belligerent View Post
So does he actually have any redeeming qualities or...?
I am going to venture and guess that yes, he likely does have good qualities. It's not likely that the OP got into a relationship with this guy if he was displaying solely negative behavior and it's even more likely that the negative behavior didn't come to the forefront until after their relationship had been established.

Hell, the guy could donate to local shelters or volunteer with sick kids on the weekends. He might be enormously talented and skilled in the arts or science.

When we first get into a relationship we can have a tendency to be on our best behavior until the newness is gone and we cannot maintain the sparkly clean image any longer. Eventually who we really are will surface and that leaves people like the OP with a decision to make.
__________________
Iíll tell you what people look like, really: they look like flames. Or like the stars, on a clear night in the wilderness.
LiveStream
Emmers Drawberry: Professional Superhero
◆○◆○◆○◆○◆○
Tumblr silliness.

◆○◆○◆○◆○◆○
Deviantart of more super silliness

Lithium Flower is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 05-06-2013, 06:48 PM   #18
TheAnarCHris
Overrated
 
TheAnarCHris's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2002
Posts: 13,317
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lidaea View Post
I agree wholeheartedly, communication is key. I find it so strange when i'm out somewhere, like a restaurant or something, and I see a couple who I observe to have not talked once in the span that they sat.
That observation is only a superficial example, of course, but it's a good sign of what their private life is probably like.
The thing is, when I have a problem and talk about it with him, he turns it on me. No matter what the circumstances are, it's always my fault and i'm always wrong. It makes it nearly impossible for me to communicate with someone who wants to hear no one but themselves.
Dump his ass. Relationship requires some take and give. If he only wants to hear himself, let him, without having to suffer from his bullshit.
__________________
Stalk me on twitter! @theanarchris, THEN IMMEDIATELY REGRET YOUR DECISION!

"I think that a huge problem is people who read comics and don't understand the point of superheroes, which is to be the best version of yourself. You love Captain America? Well, you know what Captain America would never do? Go online anonymously and shit on a girl for having an opinion." -Brian Michael Bendis
TheAnarCHris is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 05-06-2013, 07:24 PM   #19
Kelley
Devil of Details
 
Kelley's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 5,449
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lidaea View Post
I agree wholeheartedly, communication is key. I find it so strange when i'm out somewhere, like a restaurant or something, and I see a couple who I observe to have not talked once in the span that they sat.
That observation is only a superficial example, of course, but it's a good sign of what their private life is probably like.
The thing is, when I have a problem and talk about it with him, he turns it on me. No matter what the circumstances are, it's always my fault and i'm always wrong. It makes it nearly impossible for me to communicate with someone who wants to hear no one but themselves.
I would tell him how you feel about this issue and how you feel about his communication.

If he can't commit to making a change and going through with it, do you really want to be in a relationship with someone who can't communicate and who is so defensive and uncomfortable with themselves that they're happy to make you into a demon to pin everything on ?
__________________
Disclaimer : This post written by a Grumpy Old Man

Actually in the pipes:
- Remaking Ser Loras doublet.
- Luke Skywalker, A New Hope
- Wind Waker starter costume in swim material
Eventually: Paul from Dune, Faramir, Harry Sullivan
Kelley is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 05-06-2013, 08:47 PM   #20
sam vimes
A real live wire
 
sam vimes's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 10,166
Break his knees.


SPOILER: (highlight to read)
Don't break his knees.
__________________
Raising respectable and dignified ferrets since 2009.

Quote:
Originally Posted by The Hag View Post
SV is the most awesome man I know that I'm not married to.
Quote:
Originally Posted by fullbleed View Post
If this weren't tje internet id hug all of you guys right now.
Especishillly you sam.
Like a woodpecker with a headache...
sam vimes is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 05-13-2013, 08:51 AM   #21
Lidaea
Frightened Rabbit
 
Lidaea's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 128
So, I broke it off, but enter the drama..
It was the day of my 18th birthday, 3 days ago now, and as soon as we broke it off he goes out and "falls in love" with my best friend.. It's not jealousy, I can promise you that, it's anger, and it's knowing that she knew that him and I were an item that bothers me.. Especially since I walked in on them with each other's tongues down their throats on the night of my birthday, when I went to go do my usual thing with my best friend, stay up late and game.
This is absolutely absurd. Do I have a right to be infuriated? Because i'm absolutely livid. I know we broke up, but everything in this picture is just wrong.
__________________
Fandom Con 2014
TBA

Facebook

Last edited by Lidaea : 05-13-2013 at 08:55 AM.
Lidaea is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 05-13-2013, 08:57 AM   #22
TheAnarCHris
Overrated
 
TheAnarCHris's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2002
Posts: 13,317
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lidaea View Post
So, I broke it off, but enter the drama..
It was the day of my 18th birthday, 3 days ago now, and as soon as we broke it off he goes out and "falls in love" with my best friend.. It's not jealousy, I can promise you that, it's anger, and it's knowing that she knew that him and I were an item that bothers me.. Especially since I walked in on them with each other's tongues down their throats on the night of my birthday, when I went to go do my usual thing with my best friend, stay up late and game.
This is absolutely absurd. Do I have a right to be infuriated? Because i'm absolutely livid. I know we broke up, but everything in this picture is just wrong.
The word love is meaningless at that age.

You have every right to be angry, because immediately hooking up with your bestie is a shitt thing to do, both on his and her part. Make it a clean break, avoid em both for the time being, and get on with your life.
__________________
Stalk me on twitter! @theanarchris, THEN IMMEDIATELY REGRET YOUR DECISION!

"I think that a huge problem is people who read comics and don't understand the point of superheroes, which is to be the best version of yourself. You love Captain America? Well, you know what Captain America would never do? Go online anonymously and shit on a girl for having an opinion." -Brian Michael Bendis
TheAnarCHris is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 05-13-2013, 09:00 AM   #23
Arc_The_Lad
of Daventry
 
Arc_The_Lad's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Posts: 6,643
Sounds like that toolbag doesn't know what love really is.

They are trying to bother you, know how to combat it? Don't let them see it bother you, in fact, compliment them, say things like "I'm sure you two are great for each other.". That way it pisses them of and you can get passive aggressive.

Yeah, typical teenage drama bullshit, brush it aside.

Edit- Also don't let your emotions do things like consider "revenge", it whatever form it is.

Last edited by Arc_The_Lad : 05-13-2013 at 09:03 AM.
Arc_The_Lad is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 05-13-2013, 09:34 AM   #24
Lidaea
Frightened Rabbit
 
Lidaea's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 128
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheAnarCHris View Post
The word love is meaningless at that age.

You have every right to be angry, because immediately hooking up with your bestie is a shitt thing to do, both on his and her part. Make it a clean break, avoid em both for the time being, and get on with your life.
Yeah, I was hesitating because I don't want to lose my best friend, but you're right. It's too much drama, and i've got too much going on to sit here and deal with their garbage.
__________________
Fandom Con 2014
TBA

Facebook
Lidaea is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 05-13-2013, 09:35 AM   #25
Lidaea
Frightened Rabbit
 
Lidaea's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 128
Quote:
Originally Posted by Arc_The_Lad View Post
Sounds like that toolbag doesn't know what love really is.

They are trying to bother you, know how to combat it? Don't let them see it bother you, in fact, compliment them, say things like "I'm sure you two are great for each other.". That way it pisses them of and you can get passive aggressive.

Yeah, typical teenage drama bullshit, brush it aside.

Edit- Also don't let your emotions do things like consider "revenge", it whatever form it is.
I did, what I said to them when I found them out was, "I hope you two are happy", and then I left. I considered revenge, but I figured that's pretty petty.
__________________
Fandom Con 2014
TBA

Facebook
Lidaea is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 05-13-2013, 11:55 AM   #26
Kildread
I can fix it!
 
Kildread's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 7,389
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lidaea View Post
Especially since I walked in on them with each other's tongues down their throats on the night of my birthday, when I went to go do my usual thing with my best friend, stay up late and game.
This is absolutely absurd. Do I have a right to be infuriated? Because i'm absolutely livid. I know we broke up, but everything in this picture is just wrong.
You're right to be angry --- however, you did dump him, so he has the choice of mourning (Which is pointless) or looking for someone else. It sounds.... typical that he'd go with someone you both know. (Because in school years everyone seems to know everyone within a group of friends)

In addition, your "best friend" is just as much to fault for going through with this.
Kildread is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 05-13-2013, 12:01 PM   #27
Sybren117
Gipsy Danger
 
Sybren117's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 1,931
The trick is to sear the steaks on either side so they retain their flavour.

Wait. No, sorry.

Sometimes I confuse 'relationship' and 'barbecue'.

More appropriately, I'm not really sure why you give a crap about him anymore after he has gone and got together with your friend. That's what we in the business call a "cockhammer reversal".
Sybren117 is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 05-13-2013, 12:12 PM   #28
Akahime
Red Princess
 
Akahime's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 1,494
^ Agreeing with Sybren. Because every time there is a guy that "likes" or "crushing" on me, and I reject him because I don't see him the same way he sees me, the next day he goes liking my sisters. Of course this made us feel like if they couldn't get one sister, they go for another one because 'she'll do'. My sisters and I learn throughout our life to never care for those kinds of people and OP, you shouldn't either.
__________________
my upcoming 2014/2015 Cosplays
Quina (FFIX), Kat (Gravity Rush), Nausicaš (Nausicaš of the Valley of the Wind)?, Cheria (Tales of Graces)?, Tia of Avalon Code, Lan Fan of Full Metal Alchemist Brotherhood, Kyoko of Skip Beat!, Monster Hunter?

Next cons: Midoricon, Anime Fusion?
Cosplayer and photographer. Follow me at my DA, twitter, or my tumblr!
Akahime is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 05-13-2013, 01:13 PM   #29
Lidaea
Frightened Rabbit
 
Lidaea's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 128
Quote:
Originally Posted by Akahime View Post
^ Agreeing with Sybren. Because every time there is a guy that "likes" or "crushing" on me, and I reject him because I don't see him the same way he sees me, the next day he goes liking my sisters. Of course this made us feel like if they couldn't get one sister, they go for another one because 'she'll do'. My sisters and I learn throughout our life to never care for those kinds of people and OP, you shouldn't either.
It's only bothering me because this is the first time something like this has happened to me. I mean, the absolute audacity of it is just... Wow. To each their own, I suppose, but I don't feel like what they did was appropriate at all. I don't care about him so much as I care that they did that.
I'll live though, I'm just completely shocked that anyone who's been in a relationship for nearly a year can go out the same day and hook up with that person's best friend.
Ugh. I dunno, i'm not one for drama, i'm just so infuriated right now that it's debilitating. I know I shouldn't let it bother me, but wow. I'll get over it though.
__________________
Fandom Con 2014
TBA

Facebook
Lidaea is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 05-13-2013, 01:59 PM   #30
ThakYuki
Kittysaurus Rex!
 
ThakYuki's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 1,413
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lidaea View Post
It's only bothering me because this is the first time something like this has happened to me. I mean, the absolute audacity of it is just... Wow. To each their own, I suppose, but I don't feel like what they did was appropriate at all. I don't care about him so much as I care that they did that.
I'll live though, I'm just completely shocked that anyone who's been in a relationship for nearly a year can go out the same day and hook up with that person's best friend.
Ugh. I dunno, i'm not one for drama, i'm just so infuriated right now that it's debilitating. I know I shouldn't let it bother me, but wow. I'll get over it though.
It's absolutely reasonable that you're angry right now. My advice: continue ignoring/avoiding them and go do stuff that makes you feel better. You can play games, work on cosplay, go shopping, make out with some random stranger, whatever makes you feel better.
__________________
Every time I open the fridge, the hole in my jello glares at me.

Thank you for completely removing my signature without emailing me that it was too long.
ThakYuki is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Rate This Thread
Rate This Thread:

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 10:59 PM.


Copyright 2002-2013 Cosplay.com, LLC. All Rights Reserved.
All comments and posts in our forums are the opinion of the respective poster.