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Unread 05-10-2013, 08:57 PM   #1
CosplayJelly
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feelin' ugly today?

hey anyone else wanna rant about their low self esteem issues? cuz i sure do.


i feel ugly all the time compared to my cosplay friends they r all so beautiful! each of their pictures gets MINIMUM probably 30-50 likes and at most, a whopping 700. i cant compete with dat! lol i mean i already feel uglier than the average human, and to top it all off my beautiful cosplay friends are all prettier than me! i feel like they just outshine me in everything i don't even understand how they enjoy my company. AND TODAY I JUST FEEL UGLIER cuz my brain does that to me.
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Unread 05-10-2013, 09:05 PM   #2
shoelace
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For what it's worth, I don't think you're ugly.
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Unread 05-10-2013, 10:11 PM   #3
Kuro Akui Ryuu
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Better question: When DONT I feel ugly?

I've never been much to look at and my meds made me gain SOOOOO much weight so right now I look hideous. Im a ugly, fat, psycho bitch. Im always surrounded by all these thin pretty girls and that just makes me feel even worse about myself. I try dressing nice and putting on make up but it never really makes me feel any better about myself. My boyfriend says Im beautiful but I dont believe him, he has "love goggles" on so I cant trust his judgement. Some days I dont feel as ugly but today is a BAD day and I am (excuse my language) fucking hideous.

I dont know what you're talking about because you're pretty and you're thin so dont feel bad about yourself.
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Unread 05-10-2013, 10:14 PM   #4
CosplayJelly
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Quote:
Originally Posted by shoelace View Post
For what it's worth, I don't think you're ugly.
aw thanks ~ but haha i dont think that'll change my mood or what i think of myself.
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Unread 05-10-2013, 10:19 PM   #5
CosplayJelly
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kuro Akui Ryuu View Post
Better question: When DONT I feel ugly?

I've never been much to look at and my meds made me gain SOOOOO much weight so right now I look hideous. Im a ugly, fat, psycho bitch. Im always surrounded by all these thin pretty girls and that just makes me feel even worse about myself. I try dressing nice and putting on make up but it never really makes me feel any better about myself. My boyfriend says Im beautiful but I dont believe him, he has "love goggles" on so I cant trust his judgement. Some days I dont feel as ugly but today is a BAD day and I am (excuse my language) fucking hideous.

I dont know what you're talking about because you're pretty and you're thin so dont feel bad about yourself.
hey ur brain sounds like mine. u know, that inner voice everyone has in their brains? yeah its tellin' me the same things :P but i think ur really cool and stuff looking at ur prof pic, definetly not hideous.
thanks for the compliment, but thats all photo editing LOL in person i don't look that pretty(people have told me to my face that the person in the pic and me don't look exactly the same...) and i only take pics where my nose isn't showing its bumps and point cuz lol my nose is like a mountain from the side view. its all bumpy. im getting plastic surgery for it this summer though. one thing i really dislike though is when someone agrees with me that i should get the surgery, and other people disagree and say im fine as i am. one: i don't want to just be "fine" i want to be beautiful. and two: someone's gotta be lying just to make me feel better and that makes me pretty sad and i don't know where my trust should lie. :l
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Unread 05-10-2013, 10:30 PM   #6
Kuro Akui Ryuu
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CosplayJelly View Post
hey ur brain sounds like mine. u know, that inner voice everyone has in their brains? yeah its tellin' me the same things :P but i think ur really cool and stuff looking at ur prof pic, definetly not hideous.
thanks for the compliment, but thats all photo editing LOL in person i don't look that pretty(people have told me to my face that the person in the pic and me don't look exactly the same...) and i only take pics where my nose isn't showing its bumps and point cuz lol my nose is like a mountain from the side view. its all bumpy. im getting plastic surgery for it this summer though. one thing i really dislike though is when someone agrees with me that i should get the surgery, and other people disagree and say im fine as i am. one: i don't want to just be "fine" i want to be beautiful. and two: someone's gotta be lying just to make me feel better and that makes me pretty sad and i don't know where my trust should lie. :l
I dont think you need surgery but if it would really make you feel better about yourself then go for it. I personally dont like the idea of getting surgery for myself because I feel like I'd be lying to everyone, including myself. I think everyone should TRY to be happy with themselves, even though for us it really really hard, and just be happy. Easier said than done though. :/
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Unread 05-11-2013, 02:53 AM   #7
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Picture views don't really have a direct correlation with how much other people would desire to mate with or look like the person in the picture.

Picture quality and ability to advertise oneself are going to be much more weighted in consideration as will popularity of the series or whatever. You haven't really put any pictures out there and the ones you have aren't that great as pictures. Sorry ! I can tell that you have some nice costumes, but the thing is that a good picture can make a much worse costume look amazing - think of what you could do with some quality pictures ! I know it can be hard, and you don't have to do it - but it's not fair to compare yourself otherwise because the quality of photographic artistry alone can make or break if a costume (and person) looks "good" or not.

Scientifically, it's just a really, really poor way to measure attractiveness. This isn't a "click on pictures of hot people to rate their hotness" site. Looking at what I've put in my "favourite" pictures and costumes so far (I really need to work on that it's lacking) there's a SMALL minority that I would say I would find sexually attractive - I favourite them because I like the costume. And some of them might be sexyful people under costumes that just are not sexy.

And I'm not saying they're not decent looking people, the other ones, but it's true that everyone has their own tastes. My friends and I have discussed this for science and you know what - we all think that a different type of person is "beautiful" or "sexy" or "handsome" or whatever - there might be some overlap but it's still not like there's some actual standard of "beautiful" other than what you're holding yourself to. Science likes to BS about what makes "beauty" a thing but it comes down to the fact that there isn't a metric - "averaged" faces (faces that present an average of the traits that appear in a certain culture or geographical area) tend to be perceived as more attractive by the majority of people but this doesn't apply to "outstandingly beautiful" faces or what a certain person might think is "perfect".

I don't know how old you are but it scares me when young people talk about getting aesthetic plastic surgery that cannot easily be reversed. Your face is something that is going to change throughout your entire life. One day you will grow old and you will wrinkle - you will no longer be beautiful on the outside when it comes to the definition of beauty that is defined by how much the general population would like to fuck you. I have a respect for plastic surgery and don't think it's evil at all, however depending on how old you are you look like you could be at an age that is filled with changes in self-perception. I know how badly I wanted certain aesthetic surgeries when I was younger and I know how incredibly unhappy I would be right now if I'd done it - not because surgery is wrong but because I would hate looking like how I wanted to look when I was younger, I would be crushed and unhappy every time I saw myself and I would need to pay to try to reconstruct what was already there. That's why I'm wary of young people who are not in some way deformed getting aesthetic surgery (and in those cases I wouldn't call it an "aesthetic" surgery). On the other hand I think you can know yourself very well and sometimes it's the right choice - but when I see someone who isn't deformed making that choice I cannot help but be afraid that their minds will change like mine did.

Trying to support a person when they are considering an aesthetic surgery is difficult because most people realise that it can be a life-defining event but one that can land on "better" OR "worse" and that they cannot know which is truly the right path and they don't want to unduly influence you to making the "wrong" choice. My main issue is with if the person has considered the changing nature of self - that you will still change and ever deviate from that perfect image even if you attain it for a month for for a year. This is why I wouldn't consider sex-reassignment surgery as an "aesthetic surgery" - because it's usually not trying to create an aesthetic ideal (although some people do take it to that), it's something that is meant to grow and change with a person. You may have thought about this on that level and that is good - about how it will grow and change with you and how you'll feel about it later in life, that is good and I don't want to say I think you wouldn't have done that.

I used to have poor self-esteem, but I don't any more. I don't have a magic answer but I feel the key I found lies in the fact that I will age and I will die. I will not always be beautiful on the outside, I will not always look fertile and able to reproduce - and if that sort of thing is the way I must be to feel "beautiful" then I am in for a lifetime of increasing sadness as that fades away decade by decade - I needed something else, I needed to accept what was there and that it will be always changing as I live and age and that I cannot stop that process. If I do not die young I will day be incredibly unattractive to people whose perception is shallow - but did I want to let that idea of beauty hang over my head for my whole life ? I have accepted it, that I will age and that I will become less and less of an "ideal" figure of youth and attractiveness. There is nothing I can do to stop it and although choosing to spend countless dollars and experience days, weeks, and years of pain to fight it is one option I don't like that one. It didn't happen overnight, but I accepted it - the idea that I am changing and it's not going to stop - the person I see in the mirror today will not be in the mirror in twenty years and if I was so attached to that person in the mirror now what would I do in the future ?
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Unread 05-11-2013, 03:27 AM   #8
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No, fuck you, I'm hot.

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Unread 05-11-2013, 08:49 AM   #9
DireKitty
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Hollywood stars all looked better before their plastic surgery.

...and picture views have nothing to do with attractiveness. I look bad in most of my photos because i just don't know how to pose, I am however, attractive in person. Feeling unattractive is a vicious cycle because you end up BEING less attractive because of that negativity you drag around with yourself.
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Unread 05-11-2013, 10:23 AM   #10
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Oh my god no, no NO. WORST MEASURE OF ATTRACTIVENESS EVER. BASE NOTHING ON IT. DO NOTHING. WALK THE FUCK AWAY.

I'm sorry, OP, this sort of thing gives me the bad, queasy chills. Kelley enunciated the reasons why in some pretty damn eloquent detail there, but I don't think they captured the gut-deep fear I'm feeling on your behalf right now and the grossness of the circumstances that led to you making the post you made. Your brain is fucking with you and forces WAY beyond your control are fucking with your brain. This is not your fault, it's not something you should feel bad about, but for the love of all that's good in the world DON'T DO A DAMN THING BASED ON "LIKES". EVER.
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Unread 05-11-2013, 12:17 PM   #11
CosplayJelly
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But my mom was the one who first told me I should get plastic surgery. I'm not doing it just for the likes. I also hate what I see in the mirror every day so I agree with her. Simple as that.
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Unread 05-11-2013, 01:01 PM   #12
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Quote:
my mom was the one who first told me
Why is it that most people never want to listen to their parents but then when their parents say dumb shit like this, they always remember it or think it should be heeded?

I'm sorry, but your mom is not practicing good judgment in telling her child to get cosmetic surgery. When parents are telling you stuff like this you can absolutely ignore them because it's bad parenting. Your parents are not anybody other than people who are older than you are who you happen to share genes with. Yes, sometimes they act in such a way as to give you a connection to them, but aside from that, they have no particular status and their words do not necessarily come from a place of knowledge or experience or from a place of being constructive.

Kelley's post has a lot of really good advice in it, so you should read that and think about it.
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Unread 05-11-2013, 01:49 PM   #13
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the question you should ask yourself....

Why do you even care abut someone pressing a button with the word like on it to define your level of self worth?

pro-tip 95 percent of those people with that many likes sold their dignity in some way, shape or form
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Unread 05-11-2013, 07:10 PM   #14
CosplayJelly
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Why do I care? Because I feel hideous. Simple as that.
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Unread 05-11-2013, 07:21 PM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CosplayJelly View Post
Because I feel hideous.
That's your problem right there.

What you feel and what you *are* don't always match up.
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