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Unread 06-14-2013, 01:22 AM   #1
Blackrose71398
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UHG I dislike how I look in pics

No matter what I do me in pics are hideous. Well for one the lighting is bad and two laptop pics aren't the greatest, but still eeewww! And losing weight is hard. I stopped eating sweets and sugary drinks. I am also eating breakfast and less at dinner time. Aahh, but I miss candy. When I get my hands on sweets I tear it up, OMG it's scary! I can't help it, so I eat dark chocolate, mmm I love dark chocolate! It is healthier with almonds, that's the best.

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Unread 06-14-2013, 02:40 AM   #2
Throatriptron
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That might have less to do with extra weight and more on how you see yourself in general.

I tend to be hyper critical of my appearance, regardless of my weight. Speaking from experience.

That being said, keep up the good work! And don't be hard on yourself if you have a treat now and then! Besides, your "treat" is actually kind of good for you!
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Unread 06-14-2013, 09:49 AM   #3
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I have to say that I have NEVER liked the way I look in pictures. Whether I was a buff seventeen-year-old brown belt, or a two-hundred-pound nerd in glasses, or somewhere in between, I always found something to pick on. Getting over that is a great thing. Just listen -- really listen -- to what other people say positively about pictures of you, and force yourself to find the things you like about your appearance in pictures and in general. It'll become a habit as much as your current habit of hating how you look.
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Unread 06-14-2013, 09:57 AM   #4
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Same. Best shape I've ever been in and still hate my pics
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Unread 06-14-2013, 10:38 AM   #5
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On thing I have seem to picked up on through my years is that when we see something so much we start to pick out its flaws.

Have you ever noticed that you may hate your hand writing but love someone elses and when you comment on it they say they hate it? I think its just that we habituate to it and thus it is no longer new and exciting. I personally think it is the same when we look at ourselves. We have seen all the good for x amount of years and start to notice all the bad, and it seems like as we get older the bad get more apparent but maybe its just that we are taking the good for granted.

Another example is a cosplay prop. When looking at someone else's prop for the first time you can't help but think of how good it looks, but if you made that prop you know exactly all the flaws that are there, but no one sees them unless they really look. Same with your appearance. If you point it out to someone they will be more likely to notice it. If you only point out the good things they will focus on those and not even see the bad things. You can probably even trick your mind into doing that as well.

I, for one, have really cool eyes. I always get complements on them and I wouldn't trade them for the world. They stand out so much. If my hair is red then they stand out even more. I also love the way my calves look. They are strong and shapely. And after lifting since January my arms are starting to look great too. I want it to get a little warmer so I can wear tank tops and show them off.

Basically what I am getting at is that it is all in your head. When I look in the mirror and see a problem I try to tell myself at least one or two things that I like about me to remind myself that I have more beautiful things than negative.

But I fully understand where you are coming from. I only look at myself in the mirror a couple of times in the day and always when I do I feel like the person I am isn't reflected. I am strong and fit but sometimes when I look in the mirror I don't see that strong fit person. That encourages and discourages me at the same time. I know my weakness is food and I haven't been able to overcome it. I know that if I eat properly I would finally look the way I feel.
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Unread 06-14-2013, 03:04 PM   #6
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As per usual, I find people have already said what's on my mind. :B But anyway, yeah. To be quite honest, going on your avatar pic at least? You're quite lovely. So smile. It'll do you good.
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Unread 06-14-2013, 04:08 PM   #7
Blackrose71398
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Throatriptron View Post
That might have less to do with extra weight and more on how you see yourself in general.

I tend to be hyper critical of my appearance, regardless of my weight. Speaking from experience.

That being said, keep up the good work! And don't be hard on yourself if you have a treat now and then! Besides, your "treat" is actually kind of good for you!

Thank you for your words of encouragement. I am glad I am not the only one that thinks that. I do have that extra weight though, but I am able to hide it with optical illusion. And I guess since my family always points out that I am fat, I get sad They do encourage me to loses it, since we are all tryin to be healthy, but it's harder than it looks. I just need that motivation to want it, but I am so lazy.

I am sad I can't eat the candy I want , but ya dark chocolate is better for you and it is a better replacement for wanting sugary sweets.
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Unread 06-14-2013, 04:30 PM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Boreotheria View Post
I have to say that I have NEVER liked the way I look in pictures. Whether I was a buff seventeen-year-old brown belt, or a two-hundred-pound nerd in glasses, or somewhere in between, I always found something to pick on. Getting over that is a great thing. Just listen -- really listen -- to what other people say positively about pictures of you, and force yourself to find the things you like about your appearance in pictures and in general. It'll become a habit as much as your current habit of hating how you look.

Thanks for you words of advice. I know it is hard not to point out the things in my pics about me. I have gotten good complements of how I look, but it is hard to see what others see. Out of my two sisters and I, people say I am the cutest and I am like What!!! Your on crack or somethin because I can't see it.

I guess it is all in my head of my appearance, I should take in the positiveness, and focus on what is good and not bad. I will try.
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Unread 06-14-2013, 04:33 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bovice View Post
Same. Best shape I've ever been in and still hate my pics

Oh good, I am not the only one that thinks that. I don't know you look quite handsome on that horse.
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Unread 06-14-2013, 05:05 PM   #10
Blackrose71398
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nikkiolie View Post
On thing I have seem to picked up on through my years is that when we see something so much we start to pick out its flaws.

Have you ever noticed that you may hate your hand writing but love someone elses and when you comment on it they say they hate it? I think its just that we habituate to it and thus it is no longer new and exciting. I personally think it is the same when we look at ourselves. We have seen all the good for x amount of years and start to notice all the bad, and it seems like as we get older the bad get more apparent but maybe its just that we are taking the good for granted.

Another example is a cosplay prop. When looking at someone else's prop for the first time you can't help but think of how good it looks, but if you made that prop you know exactly all the flaws that are there, but no one sees them unless they really look. Same with your appearance. If you point it out to someone they will be more likely to notice it. If you only point out the good things they will focus on those and not even see the bad things. You can probably even trick your mind into doing that as well.

I, for one, have really cool eyes. I always get complements on them and I wouldn't trade them for the world. They stand out so much. If my hair is red then they stand out even more. I also love the way my calves look. They are strong and shapely. And after lifting since January my arms are starting to look great too. I want it to get a little warmer so I can wear tank tops and show them off.

Basically what I am getting at is that it is all in your head. When I look in the mirror and see a problem I try to tell myself at least one or two things that I like about me to remind myself that I have more beautiful things than negative.

But I fully understand where you are coming from. I only look at myself in the mirror a couple of times in the day and always when I do I feel like the person I am isn't reflected. I am strong and fit but sometimes when I look in the mirror I don't see that strong fit person. That encourages and discourages me at the same time. I know my weakness is food and I haven't been able to overcome it. I know that if I eat properly I would finally look the way I feel.

Thank you so much for the advice. My area though is at my stomach and it has overstayed it's welcome, but ya over the years when my body changed, I started nitpicking out the flaws I had. Especially my face, where everybody can see.

Your absolutely right. Ya and wanting something else that somebody has, but they feel the same way as well. I never really thought about that way, till you pointed it out. It all makes sense now.

Oh I get, it's not noticeable till you point it out, then everybody notices. Ya I see what you are saying. I have it in verse, people see the good things about me, but I can't. People complement me all the time and I am just What are they talking about. Their crazy, but I guess I am to hard on myself to notice those things other people see.

I have been told by people they want my gorgeous eyelashes, beautiful wavy, curly hair and great calves, but I'll turn around and say you can have them... well not the eyelashes, but everything else. I wish I had straight hair and smaller legs, but I got these. I guess I should be grateful of what I got because I am stuck with them unless I straighten or work out to get that toned body I want.

Yes absolutely, I'm start to think it is all in my head and I hate looking in the mirror, only to fix myself. I should tell myself the positive things about me than to stare at the flaws I have.

Thank you so much for the advice, again. Also to you keep up the good work. I hope I can be more positive like you!
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Unread 06-14-2013, 05:12 PM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LordTyger View Post
As per usual, I find people have already said what's on my mind. :B But anyway, yeah. To be quite honest, going on your avatar pic at least? You're quite lovely. So smile. It'll do you good.

Yes I can see it now. I guess I feel better that others also feel that way, that I am not the only one in this world. Oh my thank you very much. I should smile more, thanks!

Last edited by Blackrose71398 : 06-14-2013 at 08:47 PM.
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Unread 06-14-2013, 11:17 PM   #12
ArtKE
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In elementary school up to fifth grade, I never even looked in mirrors enough to give a care about what I looked like. I was surrounded by people who looked just like me, honestly (Armenian in an Armenian community - all dark. I'd get compliments on my full eyebrows and long eyelashes, all black, but all I could think about was how EVERYONE had them around me). I've always had a paranoia of mirrors, but that was at night. Starting sixth grade, though, it got so bad to the point I couldn't even see a mirror without literally fainting. I got on medication, but I figured out a year later... I don't think I liked mirrors because of what I saw in them. Still, every time I approach a mirror in the school halls, my face contorts and my steps get slow without me even realizing it. I close my eyes until I'm in front, 'brace' myself, and then open them. If I'm lucky, I might be satisfied if I haven't seen myself for a day or two. If I'm not, like usual, I'll run away from the mirror. A main reason why I love cosplaying -- I love dressing up as someone else. I get to not look like who I am for a few hours.

I'm just starting to notice this after reading all the replies to this thread, and it goes on what someone said above, but after I take off my cosplay and I look at my hair, I tend to smile and run my fingers through it. Especially my eyebrows. They are quite thick, black, and extremely full, and for cosplays I thin them and paint them. When I take off the paint and look in the mirror, though, my mind immediately goes into, "Oh my god, look at those beautiful eyebrows!" mode. Five minutes later, I want to paint them light brown again in disgust. This, among many other examples, gives me enough reason to back up the theory that because we see ourselves so much, we tend to point out our flaws rather than our positive sides. My eyebrows? They come with a unibrow. I have too much testerone for a female, and I'm able to grow a mustache and beard if I don't shave every single morning. But others don't know that, and apparently, they seem to like my eyebrows quite a lot, despite me hating them for their darkness and thickness and -- just about everything, really. I found myself wanting to be a male, if only so I wouldn't hate myself like I do for all my facial hair and being born with hormones leaning towards the male's side.

Don't take what you have for granted, hun. We all of our benefits, and we all have our negatives. Everyone, however, has the same amount, whether one side's benefits or negatives are in a smaller size individually. Personally, skinny men and skinny girls disgust me, and this says something considering I'm neutral in attraction to both! Everyone needs meat on their bones, and for girls, that just comes naturally. You're like this because being like this makes you beautiful. Nature doesn't knock on your front door trying to make you ugly, you know. c;
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Unread 06-15-2013, 01:46 PM   #13
Blackrose71398
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Originally Posted by ArtKE View Post
In elementary school up to fifth grade, I never even looked in mirrors enough to give a care about what I looked like. I was surrounded by people who looked just like me, honestly (Armenian in an Armenian community - all dark. I'd get compliments on my full eyebrows and long eyelashes, all black, but all I could think about was how EVERYONE had them around me). I've always had a paranoia of mirrors, but that was at night. Starting sixth grade, though, it got so bad to the point I couldn't even see a mirror without literally fainting. I got on medication, but I figured out a year later... I don't think I liked mirrors because of what I saw in them. Still, every time I approach a mirror in the school halls, my face contorts and my steps get slow without me even realizing it. I close my eyes until I'm in front, 'brace' myself, and then open them. If I'm lucky, I might be satisfied if I haven't seen myself for a day or two. If I'm not, like usual, I'll run away from the mirror. A main reason why I love cosplaying -- I love dressing up as someone else. I get to not look like who I am for a few hours.

I'm just starting to notice this after reading all the replies to this thread, and it goes on what someone said above, but after I take off my cosplay and I look at my hair, I tend to smile and run my fingers through it. Especially my eyebrows. They are quite thick, black, and extremely full, and for cosplays I thin them and paint them. When I take off the paint and look in the mirror, though, my mind immediately goes into, "Oh my god, look at those beautiful eyebrows!" mode. Five minutes later, I want to paint them light brown again in disgust. This, among many other examples, gives me enough reason to back up the theory that because we see ourselves so much, we tend to point out our flaws rather than our positive sides. My eyebrows? They come with a unibrow. I have too much testerone for a female, and I'm able to grow a mustache and beard if I don't shave every single morning. But others don't know that, and apparently, they seem to like my eyebrows quite a lot, despite me hating them for their darkness and thickness and -- just about everything, really. I found myself wanting to be a male, if only so I wouldn't hate myself like I do for all my facial hair and being born with hormones leaning towards the male's side.

Don't take what you have for granted, hun. We all of our benefits, and we all have our negatives. Everyone, however, has the same amount, whether one side's benefits or negatives are in a smaller size individually. Personally, skinny men and skinny girls disgust me, and this says something considering I'm neutral in attraction to both! Everyone needs meat on their bones, and for girls, that just comes naturally. You're like this because being like this makes you beautiful. Nature doesn't knock on your front door trying to make you ugly, you know. c;

Oh my, I never thought how other people had problems as well as mine. I am afraid of eye contact, even with myself in the mirror. I think it is the fear of eyes or something. Either when someone talks to me or I talk to them I get this anxiety and turn away. And I tend to look down when I talk or when someone talks I look at them and then when they turn to me I look down slow because of fear I guess, I don't really know why i do that. I'd probable freak out with a staring contest, but I don't know I have never played that game. And I don't want to.

I also have this paranoia of something on my face and I am constantly "Is there something on my face", and cleaning my face constantly, but I still have this feeling I have something there. And since I'm lighter skin complexes the hair is darker and thicker on me and I try to avoid people seeing me up close. And I guess I have this image in my head of what I look like when there is no mirror, and i feel like I'm ugly. It is just all in my head, but it's so hard not to stop thinking that way.

I know I should be grateful of what I got because I have them and they make me unique, I guess. Thank you so much for sharing your story. I know it might have been uneasy to share with me or not, I like how people can share their thoughts and problems with me. Knowing that we are not alone in this big world. And thank you very much for writing on here, it makes me happy!
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Unread 06-15-2013, 07:29 PM   #14
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I know the feeling. After conventions I always have mixed feelings about wanting to find pictures of myself or not. If I find some, I feel like "cool, I was good enough to take a photo of and post online"! But then I also don't want to find them because I feel like in most of them I'm extraordinarily ugly. I'm trying to improve my appearance, but...it's really hard. And with some things I feel like it's impossible. =3= But then, when I really think about it, physical appearance is not what life is about and even at conventions a lot of people, and the only people really worth caring about, don't really care what you look like as long as you're having fun or trying your best.
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Unread 06-15-2013, 07:41 PM   #15
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I also dislike how I look in pictures. I think I just suck at posing and lighting is also a problem for me.
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